“You were with her?” he asked, his manner confused.
Alex stood and turned away from the physician, running his hand through his hair once more.
“I was not. She was with another member of our party who was unable to stop the attack.”
Doctor Caldwell dared to raise his eyebrows. Alex’s control snapped and he shouted, “You need not tell me!
I
was not watchful of her and now
she
is paying the price.”
“I pray, my lord, that you will calm yourself. It does not help Lady Grenville for you to take on and blame yourself in this manner.” He paused. “Rather, it would be good if you could take her devotion to her father as your model. Her ladyship stayed with him and showed her affection freely. She spoke to him confidently. I truly believe she brought him along as no one else could have.”
“I do not intend to leave her side.”
“May I suggest you may be more comfortable out of costume? I will watch over her while you change your clothing, if you wish to do so now.”
Alex felt oddly reluctant leaving the physician alone with his wife as she lay so vulnerable in her bed. It took a moment for him to realize that this was foolishness.
“Thank you,” he said. “I will return shortly.”
The departure of the doctor came with promises to come back in the morning before his call on Lord Morecombe, during which time he agreed to break the news to his lordship. He hoped to take Felicity’s papa a more positive report. Alex pulled a straight-backed chair over to the bedside. Being careful not to aggravate her injury, he ran locks of Felicity’s golden hair through his hands, as he had that night five years ago. He kissed her brow. He held her hand.
Then he began to talk to her.
“Felicity, I have the strangest memory of seeing you at a ball before we were introduced. You were standing a few feet away but were not in my group. I was laughing and must have caught your attention. Tell me, please—I did not actually wink at you, did I?” He stroked his thumb across her knuckles. “I am afraid I did.
“Could it be that that is really when I began to fall in love with you?” Alex paused, as though awaiting her answer. “I am in love with you, darling. I do not know precisely when I fell. Love is a very different thing from what I thought it to be, you see. It is not to be confused with worship from afar. It is a more whole-hearted, whole-bodied thing. One can only be in love with a real person, not merely an appearance of loveliness.”
He looked down at her still face. Were any of his words really getting through to her shrouded mind? If so, she would be castigating him for taking so long to figure it out.
Alex tried again. “You are wondering I why I acted so abominably, if in fact, I loved you? I can only put it down to a gross flaw in my character. I hate to be told what to do. Even if that something is agreeable to me, I hate to have my agency taken away. It is possible that I refused to acknowledge my own feelings for the sole reason that I did not get to choose.” He stood and walked to the mantle, trying to grasp the enormity of this flaw in his character. “I made it unpardonably clear that you were not my choice then.” Taking long steps, he went back to the bedside. “
But you are my choice now
. You are the only woman I love.”
Gently, he stroked her hair, speaking to her of their son and their hopes and dreams for him. He spoke of the new baby—giving her another reason to live, so that she could give birth to this new life.
He even spoke to her of his as-yet-unexpressed desire to be a force for the Whigs in Parliament, to encourage that more be done for the returning foot soldiers. Reminding her that her first meeting of her bandage charity would be in two days, he encouraged her to wake up and take charge, if she did not want his sister to take over.
Thanking her for what she had done for John led to reminiscences of boyhood days and childhood pranks. And then, miraculously, the sun was rising and Felicity still breathed.
*~*~*
Jack would be wondering where his mother was. Devil take it, the boy was ensconced in the house on Grosvenor Square. Through the long night of terror and intimacy, Alex had forgotten all the others—Jack, his papa-in-law, Aunt Henrietta, and Anabella.
He was suddenly exhausted from the ordeal of self-revelation and fear that Felicity might not recover. Alex leaned his head forward, above Felicity’s on the pillow, and fell all at once into a heavy slumber. Richards found him there hours later.
“My Lord! What is amiss?”
Alex related the details of the attack. “She does not seem to be any worse, but she is not any better, either. Is my aunt awake?”
“Yes, my lord. She and Lady Anabella are preparing to go shopping.”
“Would you please ask them to stop in here for a moment?”
Richards bowed and left the room
When his aunt and sister arrived, they exclaimed together, “What has happened?”
“Last night at the masquerade, Felicity and I were separated and she was set upon by thieves. They hit her upon the head. It is quite serious. She is concussed. I have been awake with her all night, but there has been no change.”
Aunt Henrietta sat down in the straight-backed chair that Alex had vacated and ran a hand over his wife’s forehead. “Poor Felicity. I have never seen her so still.” Turning to her nephew, she said, “What would you like me to do to help?”
Anabella stood awkwardly at the end of the bed. “I wish to help, as well,” she said.
“I must go inform his Lordship and bring Jack back here. It might take some time. Could one of you sit with her? If she wakes up, I do not wish for her to be alone.”
“I will stay with her, of course, Alex. The poor dear. What did the physician say?”
“He could not really give me much information. He did say that if she comes out of the concussion, her recovery should be fairly rapid.”
“Then that is what we must pray for.” Turning to her niece, she said, “Anabella, perhaps you can find a friend to go with you to the linen drapers to buy the fabric for the bandages.”
“I shall. Do not fret about anything, Aunt. I will do that, and I will send out the notes to all the women about our bandage party. Do you think we should postpone it? Until Felicity is recovered?”
“Perhaps that would be best, dear.”
“Very well,” said Alex. Bending down, he kissed his wife’s forehead. On his way out the door, he caught Anabella looking at him in wonder. As well she might. He needed to have a talk with his sister.
When he arrived at Morecombe House, it was to find Lord Morecombe dressed in street clothes and sitting up in his chair.
“You are progressing well, I see!”
“Where’s Flz?”
Alex sat down in the other armchair and faced his father-in-law. “I am afraid there has been an unfortunate incident.” He went on to describe their evening and its serious consequences.
Lord Morecombe hoisted himself unsteadily to his feet. “Mus go to my girl.”
“I am afraid that is not possible just yet, my Lord.”
“Bath chair! Mother had a bath chair!”
Alex thought this over. “My lord, I believe that would be just the thing! We just need four sturdy footmen to carry the chair and we can transport you from your sickroom to hers.”
Turning to the valet, he asked him to prepare a valise with several changes of clothing and to see to the finding of said footmen in the neighborhood.
“While Hinshaw sees to that, I will go upstairs to Jack. By this afternoon, all of us will be safely ensconced about Felicity’s bedside.”
Jack was very enthused about going home. “You mean you and me and Mama are going to live all in the same house again?”
“Yes. Grandpapa is better now, and he is coming with us. But, Jack, you must be a brave boy.”
“I am always a brave boy!”
“Mama has had an accident and she is sleeping like Grandpapa was before he woke up. We must speak to her gently and hold her hand, and pray that she will wake up.”
Jack looked quite unperturbed. “I can do all those things.”
When Alex returned to Lord Morecombe, he found Dr. Caldwell.
“I have just been to see Lady Grenville. Her pulse is stronger and her color is better.”
Feeling as though the future was not quite as dark, Alex wrung the doctor’s hand. “Thank you for telling me. We return to her now. Lord Morecombe is being carried by bath chair.”
“So he tells me! Ingenious. The outing and change of scene will do him a great deal of good. In addition, I know he is fretting over his daughter. It is best for his health if he is with her.”
*~*~*
By the time luncheon was served, all the family were together again, excepting Anabella, who was apparently still out and about purchasing linen. Aunt Henrietta, Lord Morecombe, Alex, and Jack took their luncheon on a small table before the fire, upstairs in Felicity’s bedroom, as none wanted to be parted from her.
“You can talk to Mama, Jack,” Alex said after the footman had cleared away. “I think she can hear you. She just cannot answer you. Keep your voice soft so it does not hurt her head.”
His son walked silently to the edge of the bed. He put his little hand over his mama’s and whispered, “I miss you, Mama. But I am happy to be home again.”
Felicity’s eyes fluttered and then closed.
“She’s opening her eyes!” Jack announced. “Do it again, Mama!”
Felicity’s eyes fluttered again, and this time she managed to keep them open halfway. She spoke, “Jack?”
“I am here, Mama! And so is Papa and Aunt and even Grandpapa. He came in a funny chair! You should have seen him when he was carried down the street. Everyone was looking at us!”
Everyone crowded around her bed including Alex, almost shyly, his heart hammering as he held one of her hands. He was so relieved that she would live, he had to cast about for something to say. “Do you need me to pour you a glass of water?” he asked.
“Yes, please.”
“Felicity . . . I am so very glad you have recovered,” he managed to say. In a lower voice, he said, “I feared the worst. And of course, that would not have done at all.”
“No,” she said solemnly. “It would have been a very poor show.”
All at once he grinned and went to pour her water. After she had drunk, she asked, “What happened? My head seems to hurt.”
Alex answered, “You were struck on the head by bandits while you were strolling with Miss Wilkins at Vauxhall. Can you ever forgive me for deserting you?”
She gave a small smile. “We shall see, my Lord, how good a nurse you are.”
Jack grabbed one of Alex’s books about animal husbandry from the side table and scrambled up onto the bed. “I am going to read you a story, Mama.” Opening the book, he said, “This is a book about horsies. It even has pictures.” He turned it so she could view it. “This horsie is named Slow Poke. He is very sad because he wants to run races like this other horse . . . Frederick . . .”
{ 20 }
“ . . . but Farmer John would only let Slow Poke pull the cart.”
Felicity’s head was pounding like a Sunday band in the park, but Jack’s efforts to entertain her made her smile. Alex was smiling, too, as were dear Papa and Aunt Henrietta.
She felt quite odd being the focus of so much beneficent attention. Jack’s story was a short one, but quite ingenious. Slow Poke saved Frederick’s life by pulling him out of the mire, and he was very glad he was a cart horse after all. Felicity’s head swam, but she was aware that Jack had endowed his tale with a good moral.
“You are a good storyteller, Jack,” she told him, raising a surprisingly weak hand to muss his hair.
“I am a good waker-upper, too,” he said. “I am glad you are awake, Mama.”
“I am, too, my love.”
“Now may I go play in my nursery? I have missed my toys from before we went to stay with Grandpapa.”
“Yes, you may, if it is all right with Papa.”
“Yes,” said Alex. “You may go. Nanny Owen is up there now.”
Jack scampered from the room.
“How do you feel, my dear?” asked Alex’s aunt.
“Like someone is using my head for a drum,” Felicity confessed. “I do not remember much of what happened, Alex.”
“As I said, you and Miss Wilkins were set upon by ruffians. I believe they took you for a man. You were walking alone in an unsavory area.” His voice ought to have been stern, but it was not.
“Are you not very angry with me?” she asked. “That was surely a stupid thing for me to have done.”
“I am only angry with myself for leaving you,” he said, caressing her cheek.
Felicity’s head hurt so badly, she could scarcely think. However, she knew enough to recognize that Alex was behaving uncharacteristically. She summoned a smile, then turned to her Papa.
“How are you getting along, Papa? I wish I could have seen you traveling through Grosvenor Square in a bath chair!”
“I’m well. Was worried about you,” her father said.
“I will be fine as a fiddle once this headache is gone,” she said. “Perhaps Aunt Henrietta can see you settled for a nap in a guest room.”
“Want to stay here for a while,” he said.
Those words brought Felicity such comfort, she felt her eyelids droop. Surrounded by her loved ones, she fell asleep.
*~*~*
When she woke, Papa was still in his chair, though he had nodded off. Dr. Caldwell was taking her pulse.
He said, “I am very glad to see that you are awake. How is the head?”
“It hurts,” she said. “Have you a headache powder?”
“I’ll make it up now. Then you must eat some supper. I have ordered broth to start with. No doubt your digestion is a bit squeamish, but you need the nourishment.”
With gentle hands, he helped her to sit up against the pillows.
“I hope the baby is all right,” Felicity said, expressing her deepest worry.
“Are you experiencing any cramping?” the doctor asked.
“No.”
“Well, I would venture to say that the dangerous period has passed, then. I believe that the fall presented a greater risk than the knock on the head.”
At that moment, Alex entered, bearing a tray. “Your supper, Madame,” he said in a lofty voice.
“Are all the footmen engaged, then?” she asked, summoning a smile.