Lord Ruin (36 page)

A horribly familiar scene met her.

Mrs. Forrest and Cynssyr.

“Do not turn away from me, Ruan,” Mrs. Forrest pleaded. “Please, I am here for you. As I have always been. As you once were for me.” Cynssyr’s mistress stood in the center of the room. From the doorway, Anne had a view of her exquisite profile. As for Cynssyr, she could not see him. Not directly, for he stood at the fireplace, his back to the door. His face, however, was perfectly reflected in a mirror on the opposite wall from where Anne stood.

His lip curled, whether in disdain or amusement she could not tell. “Really?”

Mrs. Forrest went to Cynssyr. “Darling,” she said, touching his back with one dainty hand. “Darling, I heard the most awful rumor. I came here the moment I heard.” He bowed his head so that Anne could no longer see his face. “My God, is it true, then?” Facing him, Mrs. Forrest put her arms around him, pulling him close. “She is dead?”

He did not accept her embrace. “Not dead. But lost to me, Katie. Lost. After all I’ve done, it’s only just. What I deserve.”

“Just?” Mrs. Forrest repeated with a trace of indignation. “She is not suited to you. Lord knows she is not your equal in any way, but, darling, what happened to her was not
just
for anyone.”

“Nothing that’s happened to her has been just.” A note of despair rang in his voice. “I never told you the circumstances of the marriage. Did she tell you?” Mrs. Forrest shook her head. “Of course she wouldn’t. She was forced to marry me.”

“Never say any woman was forced to marry you.”

“Those rumors are true.”

“I don’t believe it. Why, even if I believed you’d take an instant’s interest in her, she’d not give in. Not even to you. She’s not a drop of passion in her. You can see that just looking at her. There is only duty in that one.”

“She had no choice. We had no choice but to marry. I took her without her consent. Do you understand? Without her consent, and I was caught out.” Mrs. Forrest gasped, but he continued. “I got her with child that night. My God, if you could have seen her face when she told me.” He lifted a hand, then let it fall helplessly to his side. “She was shattered. You see,” he said bitterly, “she had hoped I would divorce her, and she knew a child made that impossible.”

Mrs. Forrest gazed into his face, earnestly puzzled. “But she never seemed unhappy. In fact, I would have said quite the opposite. I thought she loved you. Like all the others have.”

A smile like a ray of sunshine appeared on Cynssyr’s face. Anne and Mrs. Forrest both caught their breath at the sight. “That is her singular beauty. She is good. Inside, deep in her soul, she all that is good and kind and right in the world.”

“You love her.” Mrs. Forrest took a step back.

“Yes.”

The impact of his answer shot through Anne like a thunderbolt. Her legs trembled, and she clutched the door post for support. A part of her did not want it to be true. It meant the potential for loss. Surely, her life would be safer without his love.

“Have you told her?”

“Several times.”

“Oh, Ruan. Darling Ruan. She does not believe you, does she?”

“No.”

“You will convince her.”

“How, when she loves someone else?”

“I do not believe that. Who?”

“Devon.”

“No! Oh, Ruan, no. She does not love him. How could she when she is married to you? Ruan, no.”

Anne could imagine being married to Devon only in the vaguest way, as a poorly sketched drawing, and like Mrs. Forrest, she wondered at Cynssyr believing such a thing.

“When she is well, she will have her freedom from me.” Ruan caught Mrs. Forrest’s hand and drew her toward him. “Will you have me back, then, Katie? A divorced man in love with another woman?”

She brushed his cheek, an intimate, tender caress that made Anne hate her for the intimacy and grateful for her tenderness. “I would have you back under any circumstance. But what nonsense you’re talking. If you love her, there can be no question of giving her up.”

“Christ!” Cynssyr gave an anguished cry. “She does not want me, Katie. Don’t you understand that? I cannot live with that. I can’t. She must be free of me or she will come to hate me.” Abruptly, he turned away from the fireplace and Mrs. Forrest. He took one step, saw Anne and came to a halt. Instantly, his face cleared. “What are you doing out of bed?”

“Looking for you.” She wobbled a little when she let go of the door post, and Cynssyr rushed to support her. She lurched into his arms, and for the first time in days, she felt at home.

“Don’t ever give me such a fright,” he said, holding her close and stroking her hair. “You should have called for a servant when you woke.”

She, too, ran a hand over his head, feeling the hair thick and silky under her fingers. “I wonder I managed to sleep at all. I was sure I never would again.” Her heart swelled in her chest, filling her. Her legs trembled. A lump in her throat the size of all outdoors stopped her from speaking. Her feelings, now too immense to contain, insisted upon freedom. “Ruan,” she whispered, clinging to him.

“Exhaustion.” He tapped her temple with a gentle touch that turned to a caress. “Mental and physical. I’ve seen it happen to soldiers.”

“I love you,” she said, before she lost her nerve.

“Please, Anne, do not say that unless you mean it.”

“I love you. Not Devon. You.” She felt her heart expand in her chest. “Ruan, I love you. Beyond thought and life, I love you.”

Neither of them noticed Katie Forrest slip from the room, a sad and bittersweet smile on her lovely face.

Ruan started to speak but caught himself short then began again. “Are you certain?”

“I have never been more certain of anything.”

“After all I’ve done to you? God, don’t answer that.” He touched her cheek. “You have my heart, Anne,” he said softly. “You know you are my heart.”

“And you are mine.” Her finger traced along his lower lip. “I do love you.” She savored the rightness of that. “Yes, I do.” With a wry smile, she shook her head.

“You shall have to practice telling me so.”

“I will.” She laughed, a sound of pure joy. “I cannot get enough of touching you. I love you. I love you. I love you.” With each word, her fingers caressed, smoothed and moved on, marking him as hers. “Goodness, if I’d known what a relief it would be to finally tell you, I’d have done it a sight sooner.”

He gave her that incandescent smile of his. “I must say, I wish you had.”

She pulled his head down to hers and gave her husband the kiss for which he’d been longing. The kiss of a woman who loves the man she holds in her arms.

CAROLYN JEWEL Carolyn Jewel lives in Northern California with her son Nathaniel. She loves history and imagining the lives of people who lived in years past. Writing about them is a dream come true. She welcomes letters from readers on any subject. Don’t hesitate to e-mail her at
[email protected]
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www.carolynjewel.com
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