Lorraine Heath (19 page)

“Whatever prompted you to climb a tree if you were afraid to be up so high?” Charles asked.

“I didn’t know I’d be afraid.” She jumped to her feet and squinted up at the tree. “Make sure the rope is tied tight!”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Jesse eased himself out farther on the tree branch and secured the rope. Her knots might have held, but he had no desire to climb back up this damn tree. By the time he’d worked his way to the ground, the family was gathered near the creek bank.

Aaron scrambled up to the lowest branch that spread out over the water, grabbed onto the rope, and with a small running start, swung himself out over the creek waters. He released his hold on the rope, hollered, and fell into the water with a mighty splash. Jesse smiled as Charles climbed onto the branch.

Taylor left the gathering and came to stand before him. “Make ponge cake?”

He lowered his body. “Maybe later. Right now, why don’t you go enjoy the creek?”

A smile of joy lit her face before she ran back toward the bank. Picking up his boots, Jesse unfolded his body and began walking back toward his labors. He heard Maddie’s squeal of delight, followed by a distant splash. Quickening his pace, he forced himself to keep his gaze focused on the distant horizon, to keep his feet moving toward a fence that wouldn’t be finished until the weight of the years bent his back.

Sweat trickled down his temple. The thought of the cool creek waters tempted him. The creek was long and winding with other places designed by nature for swimming. Maybe he’d work on his fence a little longer, then go in search of a new swimming hole.

He heard the whispering of the wind and smiled. It almost sounded like Maddie calling his name. Then he heard his name more clearly, leaving no doubt it was her voice behind him.

He turned to watch her approaching, breathless and soaked to the skin by the waters of the creek.

“I didn’t thank you for getting me out of the tree.”

He shrugged. “It was well worth my time. The girls promised to bake me a cake.”

“We’ll have it after supper.”

“’Preciate it.” He jerked a thumb toward the area behind him. “Better get back to my fence.”

He took a step back. She took a step forward.

“Don’t go,” she said softly. “I was wrong to think we could have a family picnic without you.”

He wasn’t certain if it was the way she was looking at him or that he was standing before her with bare feet that made him feel so vulnerable at that moment. He wished he’d taken the time to put on his boots so he would have known. He took another step back. “I really need to get some work done on my fence.”

She took two steps forward. “Please stay. Charles and the children want you here.”

“And what do you want?”

“I don’t want to spend the day climbing trees just to have your company for a little while.”

“How the hell’d you get up there, anyway?”

She smiled. “I don’t know. Will you come back?”

He heaved a deep sigh. “Reckon so. Don’t want to spend my day climbing trees, either.”

They began walking back toward the creek. He bent down, pulled up a yellow flower, and held it out to her.

“What’s this for?” she asked as she took it.

“For making Charles happy.”

They approached the creek bank, and Jesse found himself surrounded by little urchins urging him toward the rope. He dropped his boots, climbed to the low branch of the tree, and swung out over the creek. He released his hold on the rope and plummeted into the warm water.

Charles wrapped his arm around Maddie’s waist. “Thank you for inviting him back.”

“I want you to be happy, and I could tell you missed having him here.”

“You’ll always share the children with him, won’t you? He’d be lost without them.”

“Of course I will.”

“Good. Now, let’s see if we can’t make this the best picnic we’ve ever had.”

For the remainder of the day, their laughter echoed along the creek.

Unable to sleep, Maddie roamed the house, the lamp within her hand lighting the way. Charles had drifted to sleep, but sleep no longer came to her as easily. She would lie in his arms until she heard his rhythmic breathing, then she’d raise herself up on an elbow and watch him, silhouetted by the night. She noticed things now that had eluded her before: the thinness creeping over him, the deep furrow between his brows that remained after he fell asleep, and the embrace that was not as strong as it had once been.

She saw the pale light slipping out into the hallway beneath the door of the study. On raised toes, she scurried quietly down the hall and pressed her ear against the door. She could hear no sounds. Prepared to wage war if she discovered Silas had returned, she turned the handle, eased the door open, and peered inside.

Jesse was hunched over papers and ledgers strewn across the desk. He made notations, reached for a sheet of paper, studied it, dropped it, and made further notations. His hair was disheveled, and she could see the furrows his frustrated fingers had plowed through the thick strands. It was long past midnight, and it suddenly occurred to her that he never retired when they did, and yet he was awake, tending to chores, long before anyone else.

Closing his eyes, he bowed his head, sighed deeply, and rubbed the back of his neck. He rolled his head from one side to the other and back.

By the time he opened his eyes, she’d walked to the center of the room. “I thought you said Charles did the books.”

Tossing the pencil down, he forced a tired smile. “I guess it’s time you learned the truth. Texas Rangers lie.”

“You do it all.” The question was stated as fact, a fact he didn’t deny.

“It seems more important for Charles to direct his energy toward spending time with the children.” His eyes held hers. “And his wife.”

She felt the heat flush her face. Always, that one truth stood between them. She was married to his brother.

“You don’t seem too pleased with the figures you were recording.”

He heaved a deep sigh, rubbing his hands over his face as though they could erase the figures he’d just recorded “We need the cattle.”

Guilt prompted irrational anger to surge through her “And I suppose you’re blaming me—”

Jesse held up a hand. If he weren’t so tired, he’d let her vent her anger just so he could enjoy the slight accent her rage induced. “I’m not blaming anyone. I’m just stating the truth. You see how few stagecoaches stop here. It’s dwindling down to nothing. People are using the trains.”

Walking to the window, she gazed out upon the night. “Maybe you could take me back to Fort Worth. Maybe they’d give back your money.”

“I doubt they’d pay us what you’re worth.”

She spun around. “And how much would that be, Mr. Lawson?”

“A hell of a lot more than a thousand dollars, Mrs. Lawson.”

She blinked away the tears. She had expected him to belittle her worth, not enhance it.

He studied her, his black gaze penetrating. “Do you know who killed your father and brother?”

“What difference does it make?” she asked.

He dropped his head into his hands, rubbing his eyes, reining in his anger. Fear had ignited her eyes and thrown her defenses in place. She guarded her past the way a mother wolf protected her young. He picked up the pencil and tossed it back down. “I’m seriously considering doing some bounty hunting. Figure I might as well make it personal. Go after whoever it is that gives you nightmares, put them away so you aren’t afraid anymore.”

“Bounty hunting?”

He flinched as disgust marred her face. “I don’t see a lot of choice. Texas Rangers don’t make a whole hell of a lot. It took me years to save enough money for a start on a herd. I don’t have years. I figure if I target two or three with good bounties on them—”

“Target? You sound like you’re hunting animals.”

“They are animals. They murder—”

“You killed!”

“But I never murdered.”

“And there’s a difference?”

“Yes, ma’am, there is, and I think you damn well know what it is.”

“I won’t stay in a home that’s supported with blood money.”

“And what the hell are you going to do, Maddie? You’ll have three children hanging on to your skirts wherever you go. You think you’ve learned some skills since you left Fort Worth?”

She stormed across the room, planted her palms on the desk, and leaned toward him. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I have. I’ll run an inn somewhere else.”

“You’re not listening to me. Inns are shutting down all over the state. Inns in the larger towns are converting to hotels if there’s something in the town to draw people. Otherwise, they’re closing, too.”

“Then I’ll just find a hotel to run.”

He rolled his eyes. “And how the hell are you going to do that?”

“I’ll think of something.”

“Maybe you think you’ll find some dying man as desperate as Charles—”

The crack of Maddie’s palm hitting Jesse’s cheek echoed throughout the room. “Go to bleedin’ hell.”

She stormed out of the room. He dropped his head into his hands. Only a desperate man would marry her. A man desperately in love.

The slight tapping on the door stirred Maddie from a restless slumber. Easing out from beneath Charles’s arm, she padded barefoot across the hardwood floor, opened the door slightly, and peered out into the shadowed hallway.

“Get dressed. There’s something I want to show you,” Jesse whispered.

“Go to hell.”

“Maddie, please.” His voice echoed with a desperation she’d never before heard from him.

She squinted. “It’s not even sunup.”

“That’s why we’ve got to hurry. Meet me in the kitchen.”

Jesse slipped away before she could issue any further protests. She clicked the door back into place and glanced over at her sleeping husband. She wondered how he would feel if he knew his wife was sneaking out with his brother in the early hours of the morning.

Jesse was taking a long swallow of coffee when Maddie came into the kitchen. In the dim light, he could still see the puffiness around her eyes, the disorientation that often marks the beginning of a new day.

“Want some coffee before we head out?” he asked.

“Head out? Where are we going?”

“You’ll see. Want some coffee?”

She shook her head.

“Then let’s go.” He set down his cup, shoved open the door, and waited for her to pass through. Reluctantly, she did so. Closing the door behind them, he jaunted across the back porch and hopped to the ground. “Come on. We’ve got to hurry.” With long, sure strides, he headed into the woods.

Maddie scurried after him. As she reached him, he extended his arm back, wrapped his hand around hers, and guided her through the dark forest.

His strides were purposeful, his manner intent. It was obvious he was familiar with this path he traversed in the darkness.

Jesse stopped, and Maddie found herself no longer surrounded by trees. Whatever lay before her was invisible, still cloaked in night shadows. Hunkering down, he tugged her down beside him. He slipped his arm behind her, clamping his hand on her waist, leaning her against his side, steadying her. And for long moments, they waited in silence, his eyes trained on the far horizon.

Maddie saw the first fingers of the sun playing timidly along the horizon. Then they reached up and painted the sky in lavender, orange, a sweeping pink. As they created a masterpiece in the heavens, so they revealed the masterpiece on the earth: the valley, lush and green; the pond, still in the morning light, mirroring the beauty of the sky.

“It’s beautiful,” she whispered reverently, not wishing to disturb Mother Nature in her glory.

“In the midst of all these woods, Maddie, it’s like God just scooped His mighty hand down,” he made a dipping, sweeping motion with his cupped hand, “and said, ‘Here, you shall graze cattle.'”

She studied the profile of the man she’d come to love, and, for the first time, felt no guilt about the feelings she harbored for Jesse. Her love for him was as beautiful as the sunrise. And his dream. She wanted him to have his dream.

“When will you be leaving?” she asked quietly, her voice conveying the understanding and acceptance of his decision, her heart expanding beyond its limits because it was important to him that she give him both. She watched his throat work as he swallowed.

“End of the week.”

She could do no more than nod and pray the realization of his dream would not mean the death of hers.

“Couple of our neighbors owe me some favors. I’ll make arrangements for them to check in on you from time to time. If anything needs doing, you leave it for them to do. I’ll take care of everything else before I go so all you and Charles will have to do is the small things. And I’ll let you know where I am, so you’ll be able to get in touch with me if you need me.”

The unspoken thought hung between them: if Charles dies.

“How long will you be gone?”

“Hopefully not too long. I’ll go after the ones with the biggest bounties.”

The ones. He hadn’t referred to them as men, and she realized he didn’t want to think of them as men, that the thought of what he was contemplating was as distasteful to him as it was to her. And yet dreams required sacrifices. The more magnificent the dream, the more a person had to be willing to give up in order to own it.

“Those with the larger bounties are the most dangerous, aren’t they?” She couldn’t stop her voice from quivering. He refused to look at her or answer. “I couldn’t stand it if I lost both you and Charles. I’ve come to love you both.”

He turned then, his gaze delving into hers, and she wondered if he could see through her eyes into her heart and know that the love she held for him was so incredibly, beautifully different, so much deeper than the love she held for Charles.

“I’ll be careful. And I’ll come back. My dreams are here, Maddie. Everything I’ve ever wanted, everything I’ve ever searched for … I keep finding right here.”

She thought he would kiss her then, so intense was his gaze, so much longing was mirrored in his eyes, but he didn’t. Instead, he pulled her more securely against his side and looked out again over the land.

They stayed for long moments, thinking about dreams and the price they might each be asked to pay to achieve them.

The stagecoach rolled in at twilight. Jesse hoisted up onto the footrest and helped the driver take the trunks down. Maddie approached the passengers milling around beside the stagecoach. A buxom woman patted her generous bare cleavage with her lace handkerchief.

“My word, but it’s hot,” she said.

A man standing beside her laughed. “You’re always hot, Lilly.”

She punched his arm with enough force to send him staggering back. “For which you should always be grateful, Thomas.” Smiling brightly, she turned to her arrested audience. “He is, of course, referring to my performance upon the lighted stage.” Her eyes widened. With a flourish, she rushed over to the stagecoach and clamped her painted talons around Jesse’s thigh. “Sir, sir, I beg of you. That’s my trunk. Please take care with it.”

Jesse gave her a half smile. “Yes, ma’am.”

Her hand traveled slowly up and down his thigh. “My, you’re not a city boy, are you?”

“No, ma’am, but I’d think your eyes could have told you that as easily as your hand.”

Coyly, she peered at him through her thick lashes. “But it wouldn’t have been as much fun now, would it?”

Maddie forcefully cleared her throat. Lilly screeched and jumped back, her hand to her throat. Maddie produced her sweetest smile. “Please let me acquaint you with our home and show you where you can freshen up after that long, hot journey.”

Lilly threw a glance back over her shoulder at the man, who was now laughing. “Should have told me you were married. I don’t mess with married men.” She flounced off, catching up with the other passengers as Maddie escorted them into the house.

Maddie entered everyone’s name into the guest register, then showed them to their respective rooms.

Aaron tossed the stick so it landed a short distance away from him. Ranger scampered after it, growled at the offending object, studied it, yelped, then took it in his mouth and trotted back to Aaron’s side.

“Good dog.” He patted the pup on the head and tossed the stick so it landed a little farther away than it had before. Ranger went through the same routine before bringing the stick back to Aaron.

“Smart dog you have there,” a deep voice said.

Aaron twisted around on his haunches and looked up at the finely dressed man. He wasn’t nearly as tall as Uncle Jesse. “Yes, sir.”

The man knelt and rubbed his hand briskly over Ranger’s side. “What’s his name?”

“Ranger.”

The man smiled. “How did you decide on a name like that?”

“Named him after my Uncle Jesse. He was a Texas Ranger.”

“Where’s your uncle now?” “Helping the whip, I imagine.”

The man took the stick from Aaron and tossed it. “So he’d be the tall man with the black hair.” “Yes, sir, that’s him.” “And what’s your name?” “Aaron.”

The man held out a hand. “I’m Paul.”

Aaron cleared his small throat. “Ain’t supposed to call guests by their first name.”

The man’s smile increased. “Somner. Paul Somner.”

Aaron stuck his hand into the one that was offered him. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Somner.”

Maddie stepped out onto the porch. “Aaron, I need you and Hannah to gather some kindling.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He glanced over at Paul Somner. “Gotta do what Ma says. Pa’s real particular about that.” He leapt to his feet and began running. “Come on, Ranger!”

Maddie stepped off the porch and approached the man standing in the yard. He wore a brocade vest and a tailored jacket. She didn’t think the wind would dare blow through his blond hair. His face was that of a young man, but something in his blue-gray eyes spoke of experience. “Can I help you with something, Mr. Somner?”

“No, Mrs. Lawson, I was just looking around. After being cooped up in that stagecoach for most of the day, I felt a need to stretch my legs. That’s a fine boy you’ve got there.”

“We’re proud of him.”