Lost (6 page)

“
Then why did you do what your Leader wanted you to do in the
first place? You normally aren’t so compliant.”

“
I’ve been friends with Gregory his entire life. I was there
the day he was born, and he hasn’t done me wrong in all of his two
hundred years. If I have to put myself out to appease my Leader’s
extensive need to appear human as an example to those under our
wing, then I will. If by wining and dining a few of our most
beautiful women would further that goal, I will find a way to…deal,
or so you would say.”

I
sputtered with laughter. He was a funny man when he wanted to be.
But there was one question I was burning to ask.

He sighed. “Just ask it already. Didn’t you demand that of
me? Now, it’s your turn.”

It only
took a heartbeat for me to respond. “Why haven’t you ever found a
mate? Haven’t you ever trusted someone enough to give them that
power over you?”

“
I did have a mate once, a few centuries ago. She was a
convert like you are,” he said evenly. “She didn’t belong to this
life, and I never should’ve turned her. Though she wanted it, even
if she didn’t understand what it was she asked for. She hadn’t been
able to come to grips with the situation after her
conversion.

“
But I was in love with her, and eventually she overtook my
better judgment with her persuasive and sometimes prickly ways. She
caught me at a particularly weak moment when I needed her to be
with me.” He stopped, and I kept my silence. He blinked, trapped in
a past that shone in the twist of his lips. “It wasn’t even a week
after her conversion and registration that the Council called me
out of my isolation, on a mission ‘no one else could do’. They
wouldn’t allow a young fledging of her...nature to come with me on
a hunt, not that I would have wanted her to.”

“
Where was Gregory then?” I replied in a controlled
voice.

He looked away again. “I was on my own then, without a Coven,
and rarely bothered by the Council. I found her in a far away land
that doesn’t even exist by today’s standards. The closest group of
people was a tiny village in the middle of nowhere, but they
allowed me peace while I grew up.”

“
You were young?”

“
I was about sixty or so when I left my family home. I met…”
He swallowed, and his eyes widened just a little. It was panic or
Loren’s version of it anyway. “Abellana. It is hard to say her
name, even now. There is just too much there…”

My heart literally melted. Not the mushy girly crap I was
intolerant of in anyone other than Kelly—my best friend in the
entire world—but a glacier baking in the sun kind of
way.

“
It’s okay, babe.” My fingers danced up his back.

I hated that I'd ripped open a wound that had been long
closed—something I couldn’t bear to see.

“
I ensured she was properly fed before I left, and bade her to
stay in the house until my return. I gave her every caution I could
think of, but in the end it didn’t matter.”

My breath caught. “She didn’t stay inside, did
she?”

“
Mostly, yes she did. The people around my land had never seen
her, save that one instance.” Loren sighed. “I’m unclear on some of
it, but from what I gathered, she went into the garden. Human
hunters had been walking through the forest around our home, not
knowing they were on my land when they came across her. She’d been
practicing some very basic natural spells I taught her, nothing
harmful or bad. It was meant to bring life to a practically dead
stick. She had an affinity for plants, and her new magic was
strong, her curiosity vast.”

“
Of course, you’re pure.”

One of my brothers in arms, Holly, had once told me that was
why I possessed so much power as a convert. My Maker had been older
and had higher blood-status, even for a criminal.

Loren smirked. “On sight of the display, she was instantly
labelled a witch by the humans, who yelled loud enough to bring the
wandering Council Hunters. She was so startled when the humans
attacked, and she didn’t immediately defend herself. Her Curse
attempted to take over for the first time, but it was already too
late. They killed her before she had a chance.”

My throat closed as I remotely lived his words. The pain and
betrayal of being that innocent. “She couldn’t fight at
all?”

“
My mate was much too young to the blood to have a reason to
know how. Young women in those times were sheltered, and such
things weren’t taught to humans. I hadn’t devoted the proper time.”
His gaze was unfocused, looking past me, the bedroom. “It was my
fault. She never had a chance. After they were done with her, she
was left for me to find two days later.”

“
It
was not
your fault, Loren.”

“
But it was. I wasn’t there to protect her and they killed her
in my absence,” Loren said. “She was mine and I left her to die
alone.”

“
What did you do to them…?”

“
I hunted and slaughtered the humans,” Loren said in a low
gravel-filled voice, no regrets. “Every last one of them. I drank
their blood until they were useless corpses, just like her. I
hadn’t cared what the Council chose to do to me.”

“
Oh, Loren. I’m so sorry.” My arms crept
around his neck. I knew if he was
showing
me an ounce of anguish, what
he felt was far worse.

Loren’s breathing came in staggering
lurches at my ear. His arms tightened painfully, but it wasn’t like
I really
had
to
breathe. When he shoved his head between my shoulder and neck, I
was reminded of a terrified child.

For reasons beyond my comprehension, this didn’t bother me as
it would’ve with anyone else but my best friend. I felt kindred to
him, two people who understood depth of pain most people couldn’t
fathom.

“
I refused to take another after that,” he whispered. “I
couldn’t lose someone again.”

“
I’m sorry I brought it up.”

He lifted his head. “Its okay, my love.” He
stared into my eyes. “I have no problem telling
you
.”

My hand
ran over his back when his words and emotions touched me. It wasn’t
the first time he’d said something like that, but I was just
beginning to understand what the comments might mean.

“
I like holding you,” he murmured.

“
That’s good, because I like holding you too.” I kissed his
neck.

Gene had
never really been this way with me. It was either sex, or sleep.
I’d never figured it would’ve bothered me, but the comparison
between the men once again struck a chord in me.

“
I don’t want you to go back to him,” Loren
repeated.

There
was so much I wanted to say, but to actually utter the words he
needed to hear…I just wasn’t ready. Everything was too fresh, and I
couldn’t make a rational decision right now. I wanted to make Loren
happy, but was it right for me to do so?

“
Sara…”

“
You said no more talking about
him
,” I said in a choked
voice and moved to get up from the bed. I shoved the thoughts of
Gene away. I couldn’t handle them right now.

I wanted Loren so much, but going to him without a free,
confident heart wasn’t fair. I sensed he required that more than
anything.

He leapt from the bed so fast, I hadn’t seen him move. He
froze. He half reached out to me, then snarled. His gaze flickered
the moment the phone rang.

“
Damn it,” he swore, and then lowered his voice to a murmur,
“Perfect fucking timing.”

I sat up, and slipped from the bed. I walked out onto the
balcony, to lean against the railing. The feel of the ocean breeze
scented trailing over my face calmed me, much like the solitude of
the forest often did.

Many said we were connected to nature, enabling us to harness
the natural energies that swirled around us everyday.

But that part was at odds with the essence, which made us ape
the mythological vampires in so many ways. The Curse was a whole
different playing field. Wherever its true origins were, it wasn’t
of the good and natural.

Some of us thought of it as dark and sinister, and while it
could be, that label didn’t stick with me. No matter what side of
the scale it occupied, it had saved me from so much in our years
together—the Curse and me.

Without it, I would’ve been dead at the
moment of my rebirth. It was the
one
truly dependable thing in my
world. The Curse never left me, never truly betrayed
me.

In slow increments my head cleared. My trailing thoughts
continued to center on peculiar points I knew were my
subconscious’s attempt to relieve some of the mental agony. It had
nothing to do with the matters at hand, just completely trivial
crap.

I
watched the waves crash on the rocks below, quickening in huge
splashes before they receded, only to surge forward again. I wished
life was that easy. To have purpose that clear, to know where the
end would always lead.

“
I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Loren
murmured into the phone, and then paused. Even over the swells, I
heard the ranting on the other end. “
That
isn’t my
fault.”

I
refused to let my ears filter the caller on the other end, to
acknowledge who it was, or what he said.

“
I wasn’t the one who put your cock inside that blonde,” Loren
roared.

My
vision focused, bringing the night into crystal clear picture. My
thoughts stilled, and I ceased breathing.

“
Actually, I haven’t fucked her yet, but I fully plan
to.”

Couldn’t
argue that.

“
I’m not going to force her to do anything…”
Loren growled. “If she wanted to talk to you, she would. She knows
exactly who the most recent infantile to piss me off is.” He paced
from one side of the room to the other. “What do you mean, not
allowing her? If she wanted to talk to you, she wouldn’t just ask
for the phone, she’d
take
it.”

Gene’s voice got louder, to a level that I hadn’t even needed
strain to hear him. He uttered more threats I hadn’t thought he’d
known. Some of them were pretty darn colourful, while others I
filed away for my own later use. One actually made me smile,
especially when he threatened to shove one part of Loren, into
another part that was physically and anatomically impossible, even
for us.

“
Listen to me you dickless prick; if you bad
mouth her like that again, I will bring her home so she can
personally watch me gut you, or even better, I’ll watch her do the
honours.” He paused again. “Go ahead, and tell Max. Do you honestly
think that will make one lick of difference when it comes down to
you and
me
?”
Loren hung up, and immediately dialed his phone
again.

It wasn’t until then that it sunk in that
Gene had
phoned
.
He hadn’t tried to contact me through our link—that I’d known of
anyway. Loren was using the phone again now, to call another
vampire. Without telepathy. I stilled.

I hadn’t been of the blood long enough. And to give myself a
little credit, I was a little overwhelmed. The little details had
been beyond me.

Now that
I was paying attention, the weight of the spells surrounding this
house bore down on me. Magic I’d never even considered. I was cut
off from my Coven, and I hadn’t even known it.

“
Max, its Loren.”

Ahh of course. Professional courtesy, it was a bitch. This
time I strained to hear every word.

“
I know. I presume Sara is with
you?” Max spoke confidently through the earpiece.

“
Yes, would you like to speak with her?” Loren
replied.

If nothing else, Max was law and that demanded respect even
from the other Covens. He was the Leader, my Leader and that was
final. Loren could be as crass as he wanted to be, but when push
came to shove, all of us came to heel when we had to. The
circumstances otherwise were not pleasant.

I would've extended the same courtesy to Canya and Gregory
Foxworth, the Leaders of Loren’s Coven. To do otherwise was more
than just a faux pas. It was to incur the wrath of the very people
that were promoted to be known as the strongest, most powerful
among us. It was the way our world worked.

“
Yes, please.”

Oh, this was going to be bad if Maximus Cornwall felt the
need to be polite. I had no doubt he was already well-informed,
probably better than I was at that point.

Loren came up behind me, and then stopped dead in his tracks.
He stared at me for a long moment. Max waited patiently—another bad
sign.

Loren caressed my cheek and ran his finger underneath my eye,
coming away wet. The droplet glimmered in the moonlight like a
perfect prismatic crystal.