Lost (33 page)

"I'm
sorry, Set, I didn't realize that you were hurt. I would not have
asked you to come teach me if I'd known."

"It's
fine, Isaac Nazir. It is within your rights to ask for the assistance
that you have earned. I will not be able to spar with you, but I can
still show you some new techniques."

We worked
together for half an hour before it became apparent that even just
showing me the different blocks and strikes was becoming difficult
for Set. Lamias were tough, at least as tough as hybrids, but I
didn't want to put him through any unnecessary pain, so I looked
around for a reason to stop and talk.

It didn't take
long to recall one of the reasons that I had gone looking for him in
the first place. I probably would have already started asking him why
time wasn't behaving itself if I hadn't been so concerned about his
injuries. Still, I decided to lead with something else.

"Set, you
brought back Onyx's prisoner. Isn't that going to cause you problems?
Won't he further shrink the amount of time before the Consumed find
the enclave?"

"Again you
go right to the heart of the matter, Isaac Nazir. Yes, his presence
is already causing us problems. We returned to the enclave
significantly later than the point in the time stream where we left
it, so some of the difficulties caused by your presence have been
able to dissipate, but it is a temporary measure at best and even
that causes more difficulties."

"What kind
of difficulties?"

"It is
lamia business, nothing that you should have to concern yourself
about."

He turned as if
to end the conversation and return to our training, but I put a hand
out and gently gripped his shoulder.

"You saved
my life, Set, when nobody could have blamed you for not being able to
save me. Letting me die would have made many of your problems go
away. With me gone, Celeste would have lacked the challenger she
needed to stay here and the enclave would have been safe."

"Honor
compelled me to do all that I could to save you. You joined my men to
fight for the safety of the enclave. I could do no less for you than
I would have done for one of them."

I nodded. "I
understand that, Set. My honor also compels me to ask about the
difficulties that our presence is creating for you. I would not cause
harm to your people without at least knowing the effects of my
actions."

Set was quiet
for a moment and I realized in a moment of insight that it was
hardest for him to talk about himself. I didn't know enough to tell
whether that was a cultural thing or just part of Set's personality,
but it was something that I needed to remember.

"The
problems are many, Isaac Nazir. The loss of so many lamias has made the
enclave even weaker and more susceptible to the Consumed's efforts to
find us. I had no choice but to bring us back here later or the
Consumed would have found us within the month. That was not a popular
decision.

"The other
consorts did not like leaving our queen so defenseless for such a
long period of time, and they blame you and me for our losses. You
for bringing the sun people to our territory and me for not
abandoning honor and forcing you out of the enclave."

"I am
sorry, Set. I would not occasion such difficulties if the need of my
people, of my queen, were not great. Are these troubles the kind that
will…dissipate over time, do you think?"

Set was silent
for so long that I'd almost decided that he wasn't going to answer
me. "It is hard to say. My wounds mean that I have three more
days of immunity before I can be challenged. If things have cooled
off by then, then I should be fine. If they have not, then I fear
that I will be going into a challenge against Pal, the angriest of
the others, at less than full strength."

Isaac Nazir
The Lamia Enclave

It was obvious
that Set just wanted to be alone to lick his wounds. I wanted to do
more, to fix the mess that I'd made of the lamias' internal dynamic,
but we both knew that there wasn't anything I could do. I came up
with an excuse to end the practice session and promised myself that
I'd find a way to convince Set to leave off of training for the next
few days.

I didn't know
enough about lamia physiology to understand why it was going to take
him so long to heal from the injuries he'd sustained, but it was
obvious that he wasn't convinced that he was going to be back to full
strength by the time his immunity wore off. A hybrid was capable of
healing back from almost anything that didn't kill him within three
days, but lamias apparently had some offsetting weaknesses to
compensate for venom that was capable of dropping even werewolves in
seconds.

Celeste and Jax
were still in the living room when I got back to our rooms. Jax was
still asleep, but Celeste had apparently left his side for long
enough to shower and change her clothes. Even just a couple of hours
of sleep had done wonders for her. If I hadn't woken up when I had, I
never would have realized how worried she'd been.

I suspected
that would have been her preference, but I couldn't un-see what I'd
seen any more than I could un-hear the things that Jax had told me. I
nodded to her as I walked through the living room, headed towards my
bedroom, but she stood up and followed me.

If I'd had my
choice, I would have chosen for this particular conversation to
happen later, preferably a few days later, so that I could have some
time to think over everything I'd just heard. Celeste apparently had
other ideas.

She stepped
inside my room so that the curtain of vines would block the sound of
conversation from reaching Jax, and then leaned against the smooth
rock of my wall.

"I'm glad
that you survived, Isaac. I had a lot of time to think about stuff
while you were gone."

I wanted to
avoid her eyes, wanted to look anywhere but at her. Looking at her
felt dangerous, but I forced myself to do it, to really examine her
like I hadn't done since I'd first met her.

Her blond hair
fell in loose waves down just past her bare shoulders. It looked so
soft that I wanted to reach out and touch it, but I forced myself to
stay right where I was.

She was still
just as fit and muscular as always. She had the exquisite build of a
professional dancer and skin that was flawless, but that wasn't what
was dangerous about her.

My gaze, or
maybe my lack of response, made her uncomfortable enough that she
adjusted the white tube dress that had been among the clothes that
Set had given us. I thought about teasing her for wearing the exact
same thing she'd been complaining about just when we'd arrived, but I
didn't. It wasn't the right time for teasing. Besides, she looked
good in white.

Black made her
look hard and in control, which had its place and time, but she'd
been wearing a lot of white lately and it suited her even better. In
that dress, made out of a material that looked soft and touchable,
she looked young and vulnerable.

Ash was older
than me, which meant that Celeste had to be older still, but she
wasn't human. She didn't look her age, whatever it might be. On a
normal day she looked all of twenty-two. Today she looked my age,
seventeen or eighteen, but that still wasn't the real danger.

I finally
looked at her eyes—her soft, gray eyes—and I saw exactly
what I'd been afraid of. She really had been worried about me, and
not just because she needed me to fight the challenge matches that
allowed her to stay in the enclave in the hopes of being able to talk
to the lamia queen.

She was
developing feelings for me, and despite her best efforts, she wasn't
hiding that fact very well. Celeste, the perfect liar, the girl who'd
fought an extended shadow war against Onyx where she had to always
keep her true emotions hidden, had let her mask slip and that
terrified me.

It terrified me
because I knew how badly I wanted to reciprocate those feelings. On
some level I was even to the point where I could see myself letting
go of my feelings for Jess. Nothing I currently felt for Celeste was
going to change the fact that I'd desperately loved Jess while she'd
been with us, or the fact that I still missed her every day. Despite
all of that, Jess was gone and she wasn't going to come back.

I'd been
chasing Jessica, who was a completely different person, was it really
that different if I let myself feel something for Celeste? Jessica,
the new person who'd spent the last few months doing everything she
could to keep me at arm's length, wouldn't care—in fact she'd
be overjoyed at the idea of me moving on. She wasn't a concern, not
now.

Jess, my
beloved Jess who'd stood at my side through half a decade of hell as
Brandon tried to grind our pack into the dust, wouldn't have wanted
me to go through the rest of my life pining for her. She'd been
insanely possessive and even occasionally jealous when she'd been
alive, but that had been a function of what she'd been through. If
she'd known that I was going to be forced to go on without her, she
would have told me to be happy, to find someone I could trust,
respect, and love.

No, none of
that was a valid reason to hold back from what I wanted to feel for
Celeste. The only valid reason was the fact that I didn't know if I
could trust her. She was falling for me, but I wasn't sure that there
was room in her heart for a boyfriend, didn't know if she was even
capable of a healthy relationship after what she'd done to Bennet.

"I guess
that is all I wanted to say. I'm glad that you're okay. Thank you for
insisting that Set and the others bring Jax back."

Her voice was
low and rough, she was holding back tears, but I couldn't let that
sway me. If I was going to act on my feelings then it needed to be
because I was ready to accept what being with Celeste would mean, not
because she'd netted me with her tears.

"I didn't.
Set brought him back of his own free will because Jax was one of your
people."

"Oh. I
guess I owe him my thanks."

She turned to
go, but I reached out and wrapped my hand around the bare skin of her
arm. She was warm in a way that I hadn't realized I missed quite so
much.

"We can't
keep doing this."

"Can't
keep doing what, Isaac?"

She hadn't torn
her arm free from my grasp, instead she'd stepped into me, looking up
at me with her lips slightly parted.

"We're
destroying the enclave. Having Jax here now too would have been bad
enough all by itself, but when you combine that with the fact that we
lost another consort and some more workers in the fight against Onyx,
it spells disaster. The enclave can't remain hidden for very much
longer."

There was a
flash of something in her eyes that I didn't initially understand. It
wasn't that I couldn't categorize it, it was that I didn't want to
believe it of her. She'd been glad to hear that the lamias were
reaching the end of their rope.

"Does that
really make you happy, Celeste?"

"Yes, but
it's not like you think. I don't want them all dead, but this is the
one thing that's guaranteed to bring their queen to the table. She's
refused to see me up until now, but she won't risk the complete
destruction of her people just to avoid answering my questions. This
is all just one gigantic game of chicken. If you can win just one
more fight we're guaranteed to get what we want."

I shook my head
at her, but I couldn't bring myself to step back. Having her so
close, occasionally brushing up against each other as we swayed, was
intoxicating and part of me was sure that she would change her mind
if I could just explain the cost she was imposing on the lamias.

"No,
you'll be guaranteed to get what
you
want. Remember? You said
that you wouldn't ask about where the Coun'hij was. You're going to
ask for a way to save your people. This isn't about us, it's about
you, and it's about them."

She was mad
now. I didn't step back away from her, but she ripped her arm free of
my hand.

"Someone
needs to take care of them, Isaac. You've met Jax. Can you really
look at me and say that you don't care what happens to him? You're
actually going to abandon him and the others like him by refusing to
fight
one
more damn match?"

"If we
stay here they are going to kill Set. The other consorts are mad that
he's let us stay. They want us gone and in a few days one of them is
going to challenge him and probably kill him because he's still
recovering from the wounds he took saving me and Jax both."

"In
less
than a few days Onyx is going to start killing my friends. He's going
to execute them one at a time if I'm not there to stop him by letting
him torture me.
Those
people are my family, Isaac, not Ash. He
ran away, but they stayed. They've stood by me through thick and
thin, I'm not abandoning them to save one lamia, regardless of how
nice he's been to us."

"He's the
only reason we've made it this far, Celeste. Without him Ash would be
dead already. Without him I would have died during my last match, or
while we were fighting Onyx. He's a good person. He doesn't deserve
to die like this, killed by his own people because he's so
honorable."

She stabbed me
in the chest with one finger. If she'd been in hybrid form she would
have speared me through the heart, but her human finger merely hit me
hard enough to leave a bruise.

"I didn't
force him to be that way, Isaac. I can't change that, all I can do is
play the hand that is dealt me. His honor is something good, but it's
also something that I can use to save my people, people who are just
as good."

She was so mad
she was shaking, but it wasn't the kind of shake that would have
presaged a transformation. It was nothing more than human emotions
running hot. I knew because I was feeling the same way.