Authors: Tamara Larson
“Please.” Jessie said, rolling her eyes. “Come on? How can you be oblivious to people lusting after you? At least three of the women we talked to tonight looked like they wanted to eat you up with a spoon.”
Duncan
blushed and stood up, pretending to look for his shirt. “With a spoon? Doubtful. Besides, the women we talked to tonight were either prostitutes or homeless. They were probably just happy to have someone speak politely to them.”
Jessie stood up and took his hand, dragging him over to the full-length mirror in the corner of her room. She turned on the dragonfly lamp on her desk and said, “You mean, when you look in the mirror, you don’t see a major stud muffin?”
He wouldn’t even look. He just grabbed her around the waist and placed her in front of him with his arms around her waist, so she leaned against his bare chest. The top of her head tucked perfectly under his chin, and he rested it there, looking at her in the mirror where they were both reflected. “I think we were talking about you, and how sexy and gorgeous you are,” he said, pressing a kiss on top of her head.
Jessie tried to squirm away, but he held her there. “Look at you,” he said, huskily. “Look at that hair, those lips, and don’t even get me started on your body. I could spend the rest of my life worshipping that body.” The words were out before he could catch them. He held his breath and waited for her to be repulsed by his premature confession. I’m going to spook her if I keep talking like that, he thought.
Jessie leaned her head back against his shoulder and looked into his reflected eyes. “What about the whole virginity thing? Does it freak you out? I swear I don’t have any weird hang-ups or anything.”
“I can tell,” he said, playfully nipping her neck. “No, it doesn’t freak me out. Why would it? Does it freak you out that I haven’t been with anyone in three years?” Jessie shook her head. “The only thing that bothers me is that I wish you’d told me so I could make it really special. I almost took your virginity standing up, with my jeans around my ankles. You deserve better than that. Now that I know what’s involved, we can take our time.”
“What if I don’t want to take our time?” Jessie asked, heat in her eyes, she pressed her bottom against his pelvis.
Duncan
groaned as he imagined taking her from behind in front of the mirror. “Please, Jessie, don’t get us started again. I really can’t take anymore. I want to do this properly.” He gingerly moved away from her.
“What do you mean by ‘properly?’” Jessie asked suspiciously, watching him walk through the bedroom to the front hall, where he picked up his shirt from the black-and-white checkered tile and tugged it on. He turned back to her and smiled.
“I mean, not rushed and unplanned like tonight. I mean, maybe we should get to know each other a bit first.”
Jessie groaned. “But how long will that take?”
“I don’t know. Let me find my sister and we’ll see where we are then.”
That sounded way too vague for Jessie. “This is all about my virginity, isn’t it? I knew I shouldn’t have told you. God, why didn’t I listen to Clay and buy some condoms this afternoon? Then we’d be making love right now instead of having this conversation.”
“No, this isn’t about your virginity. At least not completely. If we want this to be more than a one-night stand, we need to slow down. And did I hear that last part right? Why did Clay tell you to buy some condoms? I thought he wasn’t your boyfriend.”
“He’s not. You’re really more his type than I am. He just wanted me to be prepared since he saw us in a clinch this morning.”
“Oh. You mean—?” Realization dawned on
Duncan
. He looked ridiculously happy about not being in competition with Clay.
“Jeez, you really are oblivious to people checking you out, aren’t you?” Jessie asked, shaking her head in wonder.
“Apparently I’m oblivious to a lot of things, though I do remember you checking out my ass this morning when I was leaving the store.” He took both of her hands in his, and walked backward, pulling her toward the kitchen. He needed to get away from the bedroom, and especially the bed. He couldn’t concentrate with that convenient surface so close. The image of Jessie lying there with her legs spread, and her breasts exposed kept intruding on his thoughts.
“You had some lint back there.”
“I don’t think so. I think you were lusting after my manly buttocks. You were, weren’t you?”
“Okay, yes I was. I couldn’t help it. Your butt is very perky. It hypnotized me momentarily.”
“Perky? I’m not sure how to respond to that. Don’t you owe me some coffee?”
She turned on the coffeemaker and they sat down at the small yellow table in her tiny kitchen.
Duncan
took one of her hands in his and said, “Seriously, Jessie, this may not be any of my business and I don’t want to embarrass you, but I have to know. Why are you still a virgin? I mean, I’m happy about it and everything, but I don’t understand how you managed to hang onto it.”
Jessie sighed and looked at their intertwined hands lying on the table between them. “I don’t know exactly. I had a boyfriend in high school. Things never went that far. He broke up with me after a few months, and the next thing I knew he was dating my sister. It didn’t traumatize me or anything. I just never met anyone who drove me crazy like the women in the books I read. It all seemed rather silly to me. Then, after high school, I withdrew even more. It got to the point where I hardly ever encountered eligible men. And when I did, I was really nervous and awkward. About three years ago, I briefly dated one of the other librarians at the VPL, but it didn’t work out. Next thing I knew, I was a twenty-six-year-old virgin.” She shrugged her shoulders and smiled at him.
“What happened with this other librarian?”
Duncan
couldn’t keep the edge out of his voice. The thought of Jessie dating someone else, even three years ago, made him a bit crazed.
“Well, after a few dates, I decided to be stupid and up-front. I told him that I was still a virgin and he freaked out a bit.”
“Did he give you a reason or did he have some kind of virgin phobia? Is there such a thing?”
Jessie smiled at this. “He said that he didn’t think he could live up to my expectations, or something like that. He thought that if I’d waited that long, I probably had all kinds of unrealistic delusions about sex, and that he couldn’t handle that kind of pressure. I tried to tell him that the only reason I even told him was because I didn’t want
him
to be disappointed in
my
performance, but he wouldn’t listen. He transferred to another branch a few weeks later.”
“I’m sorry, but what a complete limp-dick asshole!”
Duncan
said angrily. His eyes were bright and intense, so Jessie reached out to smooth his brow. “Really Jessie. How could he reject you because you were honest about something that you didn’t need to be ashamed of in the first place?”
“It’s alright,
Duncan
,” she said, smiling at his display of temper. “It’s all in the past, and he had a point. If everything you’d ever experienced of sex was from books, and films, wouldn’t the real thing be kind of a disappointment? No one writes about bad sex, just mind-shattering, multiple-orgasmic sex.”
Duncan
looked at her blankly for a second, and then shook his head. “Maybe you’re right about that, but it sounds like this librarian prick of yours was just too lazy to make your first time great, so he made up a lame excuse. He’s a fool for thinking you were the one with the problem.”
Jessie couldn’t help it. She leaned over the table and kissed him soundly. “Who would believe that a big tough cop like you could be so sweet?” She sat back down and watched
Duncan
look uncomfortable for a second.
“I can’t believe you weren’t pursued more.”
Duncan
said, trying to change the subject.
“Well, me neither. To be fair, I didn’t really make myself all that available. It just seemed easier to bury myself in a good book.”
“Of Victorian erotica?” He squeezed her hand playfully and brought it to his lips, loving how embarrassed she looked.
“Well, yes, sometimes. I’m not completely ignorant, you know. I’ve read a lot about human sexuality.”
“Well, obviously you were curious then. What’s different now? What made you decide to do something about it?”
Jessie was tempted to tell him that he was the reason, but didn’t want to scare him away. “I don’t know. It just seemed like the right time. Clay and my sister have been pushing me for ages to get out there, and find someone, but I just wasn’t all that interested. It never really bothered me until recently. I had pretty much resigned myself to dying a virgin.”
“God, don’t even say that. It would be such a waste.”
Duncan
shook his head morosely, like he couldn’t conceive of anything worse.
“What do you mean? How would it be a waste?” Jessie looked at him with a puzzled expression.
“Jessie, I wish you could see yourself the way I do. You were meant for sex—lots of mind-shattering, multi-orgasmic sex. I look at you and it’s all I can think of. Seriously.”
“Then why are we waiting?” She narrowed her eyes and looked at him expectantly.
Damn, she was quick. He tried to think why they were waiting again. It was there, somewhere in his conscious mind, above the waistband of his snug jeans. “Because I want to be able to concentrate on you, and not feel guilty about it. Until I find Theresa, every second I spend with you is borrowed time. And I want to be able to plan something that will blow your mind. Something romantic that you’ll always remember.” He didn’t want to scare her off, but what he actually wanted was enough time to make her fall in love with him first. If he let this be just about sex, he thought she’d be gone from his life by the time the sweat cooled on their bodies. He wanted more from her, much more.
“You don’t have to do that, you know. This doesn’t have to be about hearts and flowers and moonlight and all that.” Jessie felt the first stirrings of hope beginning to unfurl in her chest. Could he actually want more from her? Could this be the beginning of something real?
“No, it doesn’t have to be, but it should be.”
Duncan
stood up and ran his hand through her tousled hair. “Will you let me do this my way? You won’t be disappointed. I promise.”
How could she say no to that? Jessie stood up and put her arms around his trim waist. “Are you sure about this waiting business?” Jessie said against his chest. She looked up at him, and gave him a mischievous smile. “Instead, we could be making love in about twenty minutes. That’s how long it would take me to run to the corner store and back for some condoms.”
Duncan
groaned into her hair and kissed her above one eyebrow. “Why are you still trying to tempt me, woman?” He swatted her lush bottom. “Well, are you willing to wait or not?”
“I’m not making any promises. If I can seduce you, I will.”
“Fair enough, but I warn you, I’m determined to wait until the time is right.”
“So, what you’re telling me is that sex tonight is out?”
“Yeah, I should leave you to your beauty sleep, though it would certainly help my campaign if you looked haggard.”
“I’ll do my best. I don’t think I’m going to sleep much tonight anyway.” She looked reproachfully at him, and then batted her eyelashes in a coy parody of cartoon femme fatales. “You could stay here tonight, if you want. The couch is comfy, or I’m sure we could share the bed without anything happening.” Jessie slid her hands up his chest, and pressed her breasts against him.
Duncan
swore and moved away from her to the safety of the door.
“You’re awfully good at this seduction thing. Are you sure you’re a virgin?” He raised one thick eyebrow at her.
“Very sure. But thanks for the compliment. You just bring out the animal in me.”
“Jess, I’ll call you tomorrow. I’ve gotta go before I explode right here.”
“Seriously? I excite you that much?”
“Yes, you really do.” He leaned down and kissed her softly, while opening the door behind him. “Sleep well.”
Jessie followed him out into the dim hallway. “Tomorrow, will you tell me why you haven’t dated in three years?” she called at his retreating back.
“That’s a long story, but maybe.” He said, turning around and walking backward, he gave her a wicked grin.
Jessie made a frustrated sound, and put her hands on her hips. “You are very secretive. Mysterious even. And you’re driving me crazy.” She stomped one foot in agitation to get her point across.
“Well, then we’re even, because you’re driving me crazy too.” With a wink,
Duncan
turned down the hallway and out of sight.
Jessie walked back into her apartment and flopped down on her bed without even changing out of her robe or getting under the covers. It had been the longest, most exciting day of her life, and she was exhausted. “Damn man,” she said, punching her pillow. For the first time in a long time she smiled as she drifted off, thinking about tomorrow.