Lost Angel (The List #1) (4 page)

Now I’m confused. “Eh?”

“…. like last night when my libido and I had
company
for a few hours after you went to bed—”

“
Yooou didn’t….
Did you?
You did!
Who with? I mean, how? I swear, you’re incorrigible Miss Sedgwick. I need deets,
now
.”

Here I am trying to reassure her that she
doesn’t need to tread carefully around me or let her sex life suffer and there
she is sexing it up into the early hours of this morning. I’m pleased though; I
would hate to think that having me here was going to be a burden.

Wills can’t wipe the grin off her face and
immediately delves into every detail from cup size to lube, from positions to
technique.  I eagerly listen whilst sipping on my much needed coffee. Wills
cracks me up; always so theatrical and comical with her stories. I love
listening to the detailed recollections of her sexual encounters. I don’t even
think there’s a TMI threshold between us or if there is, we’ve never found it. Not
only is it the ultimate girly gossip but it also satisfies my curiosities.

Mike and I unfortunately had the stereotypical
sex life of a couple that have been together years, evolving into such once we
married. Mike just seemed to be easily satisfied and had what I considered to
be a low sex drive, often leaving my body bereft of sexual fulfilment. I got
used to it in the end. I stopped questioning it; there’s only so many times you
can be knocked-back when suggesting to try something new in the bedroom. It got
me down and I questioned my ability to please my husband. Eventually, I had to accept
that if he was happy then why would I want or need
more
? Of course, I’d
have Wills’ tales educating me to the contrary but I convinced myself that that
was her life and this is mine, of which I was happy.

I could never dream about getting up to half
the things she gets up to – tell a lie, that’s all I can do actually; dream.
Wonderful, unadulterated, wringing wet dreams! Hands down, they were always better
than the real thing. I’m convinced they’re products of my extremely creative
imagination taking pity on my horny little neglected body. Thoughtful filthy
gifts to myself, of which I am eternally grateful.

Well, the tide has indeed turned and I have the
world of sex at my fingertips now. A spiralling ball of adrenalin ping pongs
around my tummy. A seed of excitement is planted to mark the occasion.

“…. So yeah, there you have it. She was a
freakin’ badass blonde and I love a girl with curves. I can’t wait until you
feel ready to, you know,
put yourself out there
again. Not that I’m
rushing you, but seriously, there is a whole world of pleasure out there just
waiting for your beautiful big ass.”

“Big?”

“Yeah—beautiful and big! Honestly I find the
prospect so exciting, especially considering you don’t have a clue what you’re
in for.”

“Promises, promises Wills! Maybe you shouldn’t
overinflate my expectations. What if I end up disappointed or worse still;
disappointing?”

“Im-
freakin’
-possible after the sex life
you’ve become accustomed to! Sorry B, that sounded harsh. Look, I’m not taking
the piss or putting you down, I just know that because Mike is your only lover
he is also your only comparison. But judging by the details you’ve shared with
me over the years, I’m confident you’re going to enjoy exploring the advantages
of being a single lady.
Trust. Me.
”

Which of course I do implicitly. So as that
seed sprouts into a seedling, with a surge of excited confidence and feeling of
freedom I blurt out, “Okay then. How about this Friday night—do you fancy a date
with yours truly?”

Wills face lights up. “Really? Hell yeah!
OhmyGodthisisgonnabethebestdate
ever
! Are you sure?”

“Defo. I know it may seem ridiculously too soon
but my energy is raring to go. I don’t mean to go and get laid, I just mean to
go out as a single lady. I wanna see what it feels like, you know? Plus there’s
no harm in looking who’s out there—” Wills interrupts me.

“Girl, you’re single. The ‘look but don’t
touch’ rule no longer applies! So there’s no harm in looking
and touching
who’s out there.” That just sounds so weird but I guess it’s true. “Oh man, I’m
so hyped for you. I’m gonna make sure you’re waxed, tanned and primed for this.
I’ll make a couple of appointments for us this week.” She rapidly claps her
hands together like an ecstatic performing seal.

“Sounds like a plan Bat
woman
.” Wills
giggles and rubs her hands together like she’s trying to warm them up—or more
like hatching a plan! What have I done? “Hmmm, something’s telling me I should be
regretting handing this to you on a plate Wills?”

“Pssh, come on! I’m used to it being handed to
me on a plate B. Don’t worry, you’re in very good hands?” She winks and gives
me an air high five from across the island.

“Well, evil genius, I’m going to give you some
space to hatch your wicked little plans. Just lemme know the password for your internet
and I’ll be out your hair. I’ve got a shedload to do so there’s no time like
the present.”

7:02pm

After typing my mental notes into organised ‘to
do’ lists, I had a productive day.

I’ve finally reviewed Next Chapters inventory;
a laborious task that has been fuelling some serious procrastination on my part.
I emailed my right-hand man, Eddie, proposing some strategies to rotate titles
more effectively and introduce some hot new authors I’ve been sample reading. Hopefully
this’ll create another boost to our online trade too. 

When Next Chapter became mine I threw myself
into the business wanting to know it inside out and it soon stole my heart. In
hindsight, I think this was just part of the grieving process. But I soon
became confident using what I’d learned so far on my Business Management course
at university and bouncing ideas off Mike constantly. I treated it as work
placement connected to my degree, which became win win for me. Juggling the two
was a struggle but it paid off when I graduated and it was a massive relief
along the way, providing the money to pay my fees and bills. I didn’t make as
many close friends that students typically make throughout their time at uni. My
social life was practically non-existent but it was a small price to pay.

Thoughts of Mike triggered a phone call to
remind him to put the bins out, which he found humorous. The conversation was awkward
at first until we’d got the first few minutes out of the way. I made
arrangements to swing by over the next few days to pick up any post and some
other stuff he’s put aside for me. I came away from the conversation still
feeling motivated and on track. 

Wills called me to the kitchen for a bite to
eat. She’d rustled up a healthy meal of jacket potatoes with tuna and her home-grown
salad.
Lush.

We discussed living arrangements and me paying
my way. Wills reiterated that there’s no hurry for me to rush off. I really do
need to decide whether to go down the rental route or buying. More importantly,
I need to consider location and commuting. Wills emphasised that finding my
feet and finding the right property don’t have set timescales. I believe her
when she says she wants me around. She is honest, brutally so sometimes, which
is something else I love about her. Never any hidden agendas or having to read
between the lines. She tells you how it is and what you see is definitely what
you get; a beautiful caring friend. She has told me a couple of times that Mike
wasn’t good enough for me. The first time, she was drunk and I laughed it off.
The second time, she was stone cold sober and I cried it off. I reacted by
standing up for him and fighting his corner. I refused to take her opinion on
board but, in the end, I respected her for sharing it with me.

We planned to end the week with beer, snacks
and Wills choice of what to watch, so we sported our onesies and got comfy.

“Right then B, it’s time to knock the dust off one
of my favourite programmes; “Orange Is The New Black – Season One”
baby!
I can’t believe Mike the Misery never wanted to watch it with you. Sit back,
relax and prepare for a marathon of back-to-back episodes… You’re gonna
love
it!”

We link arms on the sofa and she snuggles into
me, excited like a kid at Christmas. Her smile is infectious. Right there and
then, I have a wow moment, thinking about how a marriage break up shouldn’t be
this straight forward. Is all this too good to be true? Break-ups are usually
messy in films or on the television. But so far, everything has just fallen
into place. Should I be feeling nervous? I really hope this new bubble I’ve
found myself in doesn’t pop anytime soon.

Monday 16
^th
March 2015

8:14am

I
t’s a beautiful day, with the sun shining and
barely any clouds. I have the windows down and music blaring. Pulling into my
designated parking bay around the back of Next Chapter, I’m singing along to
some girl power song.

I jump out the car with more energy than I’m
used to for a Monday morning. Walking with a little extra bounce, I unlock the
shops back door but the security system doesn’t beep so I know Eddie is already
here. He cycles to work and keeps the bike inside. 

In 2010, I’d worked hard with a web designer
developing our own website, which primarily would provide our customers with
access to online purchasing for delivery and collection. Also branching us out
into the world of e-books and audiobooks. Mrs Tunbridge was the previous manager,
with ten years of service. She was set to retire so in the months leading up to
the launch of the website I hired Eddie as her replacement. I took an instant
liking to him during the interview; we were simply on the same wavelength. When
I started hinting at some of my plans he was so knowledgeable and enthusiastic,
I knew he was the man for the job.

Mrs Tunbridge knew the shop like the back of
her hand but when Eddie started, it was like he breathed a colourful breath of
fresh air into the place. Once he was up to speed, it meant that I could take a
step back from the hands-on shop management and concentrate on the website as
well as planning my next strategy; in-store renovation. 

After the business had adapted to the new trade
created from the website, I had to take on another member of staff, Holly. Then
I kept the momentum up by renovating the shop to incorporate a new tech dual
purpose working and seating area. I had the dividing wall between the shop and
the storeroom/staffroom knocked through. It was wasted space in my opinion, so
it was converted into the new plush seating area with hot and cold drinks and
snacks vending machines. Then came my favourite addition; work pods, either
with desktops or docking stations for laptops and tablets. It was like delicately
merging a cyber café into the shop.

These two vital changes were the turning point
for Next Chapter. We managed to keep my grandmothers warm friendly atmosphere
but with the integration into the world of technology, we opened the doors to
the younger generation. The footfall of students from the local university and
colleges gave us a massive boost. Profits increased month on month, having
settled into a steady lucrative amount, which exceeded my estimations and did
more than pay the bills.

I managed to start saving a tidy amount each
month ‘for a rainy day’. In the back of my savvy mind, I always knew it was
wise to have a cushion of financial comfort whenever I may need it in my life.
Mike also had his own savings account.

Over the hours and hours spent together, Eddie
and I built up a great working relationship. So as soon as he sees me waltz
into the shop whistling, he knows something’s different. He is a tall guy with
a geek chic look about him, wearing thick rimmed glasses with frames that he
colour co-ordinates with his attire.

“Why good morning Bethany!” He strides over and
plants a kiss on my cheek with a suspicious squint in his eye.

“Hey Ed. Good weekend?” Trying to look
oblivious to his inquisitive tone.

“Yes thank you, the usual, nothing to write
home about… Yooou on the other hand, are…
different
… Pray tell—”

“Yes well, I have been a busy bee—” He stares
at me nodding quickly, rotating his hand in that blatant way that says ‘yes yes
get to the bloody point’.

“—Sooooo Mike and I have split up and I’m now
living with Willow—” His mouth gapes. “—aaand from the look on your face, that’s
not what you were expecting?”

Eddie isn’t attempting to hide the shock on his
face. “No of course not, I thought you were going to say that you’re preg— Shit
sorry honey that was insensitive. I just can’t believe it.”

Eddie fixes us a coffee and we talk things over
whilst we get the shop ready for opening. I tell him that I plan to work from
Willows for the next few weeks, which works fine, as there’s plenty to do without
being confined to the shop walls. Eddie is supportive and I know he has
everything under complete control here. He will probably enjoy the breathing
space as I do sometimes catch myself micromanaging.

The day flies by and it’s soon time to lock up
and leave again.

6:00pm

Work was great and I’m surprised that this
surge of energy and motivation isn’t waning. Okay, next item on my list today
is to call my mom and break the news. I decide to do it whilst preoccupied with
driving so then I won’t be tempted to babble.

The car speakers begin to ring and my dad answers.
“Hey Dad, how you doing?”

“Hey sweetheart, we’re fine, just got back from
a lovely walk along the cliff tops after dinner. Do you want your mom? Hold on
let me fetch her.”

“Thanks Dad, I’ll speak to you soon, love you.”

“Goodbye Bethany, I love you too.” Here goes…

“Hello darling, this is a nice surprise. I
thought it was strange we’d not heard from you over the weekend…
Bethany
—”
God I would love a big hug off her right now.

“Hi Mom, yeah sorry, it’s been pretty hectic.
It’s just… that… it’s just that Mike and I have fallen out… permanently. As in,
we’ve split up, forever—” There that wasn’t too hard, even if I do sound like a
blithering idiot.

A few moments of silence later… “Oh Bethany dear.
I’m so so sorry. This is such a
shock
, are you sure you’re sure? Is
there no chance of reconciliation?”

I can hear her whispering to my dad and
swatting him away.

“No Mom. It’s
definitely
over but I’m
fine, it was a mutual decision. Honestly, it’s been bizarrely stress-free so
far and I actually feel pretty great today. Like I’ve got a new lease of life
or something… Not that I wasn’t happy before, this just feels magnified if that
makes sense… There’s been no fighting or cheating or months of crying into a
pillow, we just both came to realise that we want different things out of
life.” I’m just around the corner from Wills now.

“I don’t know what to say, I… I just can’t help
my motherly instinct to want to wrap you up in cotton wool and make everything
better… But, it doesn’t actually sound like that’s what you need sweetheart.
So,
you’ve
moved out?”

“Yes, straight after we’d finished talking. Our
minds were made up and it didn’t feel right me staying there any longer. I
packed up and moved in with Wills. There’s plenty of space and you know we love
each other’s company so there’s no pressure for me to make any rash decisions
on a new place.”

“Oh Willow is such a good friend. You tell her
from me how very grateful I am that she’s looking out for my baby. Maybe it’d
be an idea for you to come and stay here, just for a few nights? You know the
affect the sea breeze has on you… You could bring Willow along, the two of you
would have a lovely time.”

“Mmmm… Maybe Mom. I’ll mention it to her. I
think I need to find my feet a bit more first. I wouldn’t want to feel like I’m
running away to bury my head in the sand. It’s only been a couple of days but
I’m doing well so far.”

“Okay darlin’, you know what’s best. The offer
is there when you’re ready Bethany. Well, your father has been pacing the
hallway trying to speak to me in sign language so I’d better go and fill him in.
Would it be okay if I gave you a little call tomorrow, give me chance to digest
all this?”

“Of course, Mom. I’m working from home now so
call me anytime. Don’t get worrying though, I’m honestly fine.”

“Okay Bethany, you have a nice evening and I’ll
call you in the morning. We love you so much dear.”

“Love you both too, thanks Mom. Bye.”

“Bye Bethany.”

Pulling the car onto the drive alongside the
house, Willow meets me at the door with her phone to her ear covering the
mouthpiece. “Hair and nails – tomorrow – 5:30 – Is that cool?” She looks so
pleased with herself.

“Sure” I nod with a smile.

When we get inside she’s delighted to hear that
I’ve decided to work from home for a while; not least because this means she
will take every opportunity possible to distract me. I’ve got a feeling my days
will gradually start and end later and later under her influence, and I’m sure
alcohol will play a part too.