Lost Heartbeats (Alexander & Maya Book 2) (12 page)

“Fuck,” Alexander muttered, his head falling back, his hands flexing and relaxing around my thighs.

Closing my eyes, I slowly lifted myself up and then down again, already feeling full as I took in more of him until I couldn’t take any more.

I groaned, resting my forehead against his shoulder, breathing hard. “It hurts so good when you are inside. Burns so good,” I whispered against his skin.

His strong hands moved me back and forth over his body, forcing me to take every inch of his length.

“I know, baby. Christ, you feel so tight.”

My hands shaking, I raised myself a little more and then impaled myself to the root. We both moaned at the same time, lost in pleasure.

“Come here,” Alexander murmured, pulling me by my neck for a kiss.

I rolled my hips and he groaned into my mouth.

“Easy baby. I changed my mind. Let’s take this one slow, okay? I want to watch you.”

His mouth latched on to one of my nipples. With both of his hands, he grabbed my ass and urged me to move in a slower pace.

“Oh, fuck, Maya. Yes, baby, squeeze me. Shit, yeah.”

My head spinning with pleasure, I smiled and kept working him into my body with slow pulls.

He managed to lift his hips and then slammed into me with a deep thrust.

“Ahh, Alexander,” I moaned, my head falling back.

“That good, sweetheart?” he asked, giving me another slow but deep thrust from underneath me.

“Ahh, yes!” I hissed with a smile on my face.

“Stop moving,” he ordered, but I kept working his cock into my pussy with barely there motions. One of his hands tightened on my hip making it harder for me to move; with the other one, he pressed his palm flat to my stomach and slowly slid it up around my throat.

“I said stop,” he gritted between his teeth.

I stopped moving.

“You’re breathless baby,” he murmured, his hand squeezing my throat—not enough to hurt but enough for my breath to hitch. “Your skin is burning, your muscles already shivering. Is it all for me?”

Taking a deep breath, I managed to nod and keep my eyes locked with his beautiful blue ones. When he kept his thumb on my throat but curled his hand on my shoulder and gave me a powerful thrust, my eyes rolled back in my head, and I groaned.

Loudly.

“Lift up,” he said, giving me a hard spank on my ass.

A tingle started between my legs, and I might have experienced a tiny orgasm. He seemed to have a way with those.

Pushing against his chest, I lifted myself up, feeling every ridge of his cock drag against the soft tissue inside.

“Stop when you have just the tip inside.” His hand massaged the spot he had just slapped. My legs burned and shook, but I did as he asked. Leaving the ass massaging, he looked to where we were still joined and wrapped his hand around his length where my wetness was coating every inch. He gave himself a few lazy strokes.

“Do you see what you do to me?” he muttered, his eyes heated. His finger ghosted over my clit, and my whole body jerked. “Are you ready to fuck me, Maya? Or do you want to be the one who gets fucked? Properly.”

“Fuck me,” I groaned. I loved his dirty mouth. It did things to me. My legs trembling like crazy, I tried to give him all my weight. Thank god I kept in shape by walking and running.

Without warning me, he grabbed my waist and pulled me down on his length, eliciting a surprised scream and then a long groan from me.

Leaning back, I placed my hands on his powerful thighs and enjoyed getting thoroughly fucked by him as he filled me with painful but mind blowing thrusts.

I closed my eyes.

What he was doing to me… How he was making me feel…

Everything was too much on my senses.

With heavy eyelids, I glanced at his body. His amazing chest was rippling with his muscles.

His abdomen? His
fucking
abdomen? I didn’t even have any words for that particular area.

The low light coming from the TV made it possible to see the sweat rolling down his six-pack as he hammered into me.

I felt full.

I felt deliriously happy.

He made me feel complete. My soul at peace.

Head over heels for him, I placed my hands on his abdomen and started to answer his deep thrusts with my own. When he pushed up, I pushed down. His hands under my thighs, he kept his eyes on where we were joined.

“
Shit
, Maya,” Alexander hissed. “You’re already creaming me. Are you gonna come on my cock?”

“Yes,” I whimpered, my hips out of control, desperately trying to reach for that sweet release.

My entire focus was on the way his body had tightened under me, and how his long, thick cock was sliding into my body to its root.

On the verge of losing myself to the most intense orgasm, I frowned. “I don’t want to come,” I groaned, riding him slower. “It feels so good to have you so deep, Alexander. I don’t want it to stop. Please.”

“Shh, baby,” he nibbled on my throat, his palm flat on my stomach as he applied the slightest pressure. “I want to watch you come, Maya. Let go for me.”

His words were a bare whisper against my skin, so close to my ear. My hands curled against his bare chest, I came all over his thick cock as my knees finally gave out, and I fell onto him. Holding my hips up, he pounded into me from beneath until he, too, let himself go and groaned as his own orgasm tore through him.

With his ragged hot breath warming my skin, my entire body shuddered over him. My hands shaking, I cupped his face and lifted it out of my neck.

Our eyes connected.

Breathing heavily, we shared thousands of words between us.

Words we weren’t ready to give voice to.

Yet.

When his lips gently pressed against mine, we both kept our eyes open.

Feeling too vulnerable under his gaze, I slowly lifted myself off of him, wincing when he left my body. Before I could move away, Alexander’s arms circled my waist, and he buried his head against my chest as I stood frozen, still on my knees on the couch next to him.

“What’s wrong?” I whispered, my fingers finding their way to his dampened hair.

He sighed heavily. “Don’t leave. I need to hold you for a second,” he said.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I said, hearing the truth in my own words.

***

It was two nights later when I was lying in his arms in bed—the bed that had irrevocably become
ours
—when I felt him draw away from me. His fingers were absently tracing an imaginary line across the skin on my shoulder. The walls he had suddenly decided to build around himself slapped me right in the face and stopped me from turning into his heat.

Was he trying to protect himself from me?

The phone calls had multiplied by the hour these last two days. Sometimes it was work, and he would fire orders to whoever was at the end of the line, but other times he would speak softly and end up taking his phone call away from me.

Out of the room.

Out in the street.

The orders and the need to oversee his job, that I understood, but the soft murmurings didn’t sit well with me. Whenever he came back to me after those phone calls, he would look drained and lost.

Yet I never asked questions. I knew he was talking to his friend, so I didn’t think it was my place.

“We need to talk, Maya,” he said with a heavy voice, jolting me back to the present.

“I know. You are leaving,” I whispered. My eyes focused on the little dent on the wall as I tried to remember when, and how I’d left that mark.

He turned me to face him, and my eyes found his beautiful blues in the dark with only the light of the moon entering my bedroom.

“Yes,” he said simply.

Such a small word, yet I still felt the echo of its power crash onto my soul with a huge impact.

I closed my eyes.

I was afraid of what I would find in those captivating blue eyes of his.

Acceptance?

Finality?

Lies?

Or maybe empty promises.

“Maya.” His thumb traced the seam of my lips. “I need you to come with me.”

My eyes flew open, and I stared back at him in surprise.

What I saw there was hope…

Hope was a beautiful feeling when it felt like your heart was about to be ripped out of your chest, when you were about to lose the other half of your soul.

The other half that you needed to have close by to survive.

I opened my mouth to talk, but his finger pressed against my lips.

“I don’t want a long argument. I want you to go to sleep and then wake up in my arms, pack your shit and leave with me. If you think we are moving fast, I can tell you that we are not. When it comes to you everything I feel is natural. I don’t know any other way to be with you. What we had in New York, what we have here,” he said, his eyes softening. I couldn’t look away from him. “It’s real Maya. I don’t like false promises so I won’t give you empty words just to persuade you to come with me. But, what I can tell you is that what we have is real, and even though I know how much you love it here, I think I can give you more. If you decide that you need your own space, I’m willing to give you your own room.” He closed his eyes for a moment as if it took everything for him to keep going. “Just let me come to you when the day is done. Let me end my day in your arms. I make you happy, don’t I? I promise you it’ll only get better.”

He kept his eyes on me expectantly. He looked like he was ready to argue to make his point.

“On our last night, I asked you if you believed in finding someone who would consume you. Soul and mind.”

He looked taken back with the sudden subject change.

“And you said, ‘It doesn’t mean you should go out and look for that person. It doesn’t mean it’s always good for you.’ Do you still believe that?”

When he didn’t answer fast enough, I turned my head away and gazed at the ceiling. “You will consume me, Alexander,” I said.

He grasped my chin and forced me back to his gaze. “I didn’t go out and look for you. You found me all on your own,” he said. “And whether you are good or bad for me, I still wouldn’t change a thing about us. I’m okay with you consuming me. You won’t mind being consumed by me either.” He propped himself on his elbow and looked down at me. “I won’t be all chivalrous and say I don’t deserve you because I goddamned do. I deserve to have this with you. To see if it goes where I desperately want it to go. We deserve to have what we’ve had for these last few days to last more.”

His voice was tight, his frown back in place.

I glanced away.

“I was thinking I could use one of those websites, you know, those where you can rent an apartment for a few days,” I said, my eyes meeting his for a brief moment before I looked away. “Or a few months. Linn thinks it will be good for me. Maybe I can visit Helen while I’m there, too. We still talk every other week or so. I mean in a way she is the only family I have left, I guess. Very distant, but still kinda family.”

Alexander was listening to me intently, his body tight as steel against me.

“And.” I let out a deep breath. “I love the café. It’s everything to me, but I’m not sure if it’s what I want to do anymore. With my dad, it was easy, it was what I wanted to do, where I wanted to be because it was ours. But, now…” I found his eyes again. “Now I’m not sure if it is enough, or if it is where I’m supposed to be,” I added softly.

Without a word, he placed his hands on either side of my head, pushed open my legs with his knees, and lowered his body over mine, caging me in. His beautiful eyes looked so tormented gazing into mine, like this meant everything to him.

“I want you in
my
home. In
my
bed,” he rasped.

“I thought you just said you would give me my own room.”

“I want you in my bed,” he repeated with authority and a little growl to his voice.

Slowly, he lowered his forehead onto my pillow, right next to my head. A warm breath shuddered out of him. “You were going to come with me,” he whispered.

“I wanted to,” I said, threading my fingers through his soft hair.

When his head finally came up, his eyes were gentle.

Wishful.

“I’ve been waiting for you my whole life,” he whispered, breaking my heart.

When his lips met mine and his tongue swept in, it was different from all our other kisses. It meant more than it had before.

We, together, meant more than we had before.

***

“Can I get you anything else Mr. Ross? Champagne?”

“Do you want anything, Maya?” Alexander asked, turning in his seat to face me.

“No, thank you,” I answered shortly, then changed my mind. “Actually, can I get some apple juice?”