Lost Paradise (22 page)

“Good,” Lash said, moving closer. He put his
arms around me, then squeezed gently.

The Lust ebbed, then disappeared completely.
As it did regret filled me; not at the sex itself, but for how it
had complicated our relationship. I’d wanted to get along with him.
I thought maybe we were becoming friends. Now this had to
happen.

“I’ll miss this,” Lash whispered in my ear,
“when you’re back to normal.”

Guilt and regret washed over me, because I
couldn’t reply the same. “I thought you didn’t like to be with any
women who weren’t weresnake,” I said hesitantly.

Lash grunted. “Non-were women want nothing to
do with me, now that I can’t hide my snake nature,” he said a
little too casually. “Any female were that isn’t snake is the same.
Serena said up front when Devlin asked her to come and see to
everyone’s needs here that she wasn’t going to let me touch her. If
he hadn’t agreed to that, she wouldn’t have come to Hayden, no
matter what he paid her.”

I knew he didn’t want my pity, so I didn’t
reply. But it was evident now why Serena feared him and why Devlin
had gone to lengths to match Lash up with another lover after Cin
left. “She doesn’t know what she’s passing on, barring you from her
bed.”

“Most women don’t like snakes,” Lash said
bitterly. “They don’t want a man who’s part snake next to their
naked skin, much less inside them.”

There was no answer that wouldn’t hurt.
“That’s probably true—”

“You are the first non-were I’ve been with
like this in decades, Sar,” Lash hissed, running his hand from
between my breasts up to clasp my neck, and then my face. “Even
then, they didn’t want me like you do in the throes of your lust.
Hell, no one has ever made me feel as wanted as you have, the times
we have been together. If Dev didn’t love you, if you weren’t
pregnant with his child, I would change you, here and now. It would
feel so good, to coil together with you in snake form, to feel your
scales sliding under mine—”

I didn’t want to be werecougar; I sure as
shit didn’t want to be weresnake. I recoiled, moving towards the
table edge.

Lash grabbed hold of me, bringing me back
into his arms. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I’m no good at
this after-part. I’ll stop talking.”

I reached up, and ran my hand over his scar
on his cheek. Lash froze.

“How did this happen to you? I thought you
were born a were. Were you turned when you were very young—?”

Lash took my hand, and gently removed it from
his face. “I was born were. This happened in Rio, months ago.” He
paused, as if gathering himself. “The scar’s healing, but very
slowly. The wound was deep. My regenerative powers have ebbed
almost to that of a human. It’s the potion I take that regenerates
me, Sar. My body can’t do it anymore. And the potion is taking
longer to work these days.”

“Does Devlin know?” I asked.

“No. I told him the blade was laced with
poison; that is why it’s taking so long to heal. He wouldn’t let me
risk myself if he thought I couldn’t regenerate. I have to be extra
careful not to get injured when I fight now. But I’m not going to
spend the rest of my life sitting on the sidelines, thinking about
the good old days.” There was determination in his tone, and more
than a trace of sorrow.

“Can’t Titus heal you? Or give you something
else to try?”

“He’s done all he can,” Lash said quietly.
“I’m grateful that he has helped me to live this long.”

Something in his tone told me that this was
deeper than just a wound that was taking a long time to heal. As I
turned toward him I understood all at once that he was telling me
that he was going to die soon. I didn’t love him, but I liked him
and didn’t want him to die. He was my lover, even if I hadn’t
wanted him to be. Besides, Dev would be devastated.

I hugged him tightly. “I’m sorry.”

“It won’t be for a while yet,” Lash hissed
uncomfortably. “Titus has told me the time is coming; that he can’t
hold it off any longer. Another ten years or so, at most.”

That seemed so short. No wonder Lash had been
so angry I was going to live forever and not age. “Can’t we ask
someone else to give a second opinion?”

“Don’t you dare say anything to Dev,” Lash
hissed hotly. “I don’t want him to know. I don’t want anyone to
know. I—”

“I won’t say anything, not to anyone,” I
assured him. “I give you my word. It’s not anyone’s business but
yours.” I reached down and squeezed his hand in mine.

After a moment, he squeezed back. “I give you
mine, too,” Lash hissed. “I won’t tell anyone this happened tonight
unless you want me to, though I’d like very much to brag about
bedding you again.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. “No, don’t tell
anyone.”

Lash turned me toward him, then kissed me
softly, moving his hips against me lightly, his rigid throbbing
length pressing insistently against my side. “Once more for the
road?” he offered, sliding his hand down to caress my hip.

My Lust roared back. I brought his lips down
on mine as my answer.

* * * *

We finally got back to Hayden about six a.m.
Once more had turned into twice, then thrice, The Lust rising every
time I touched him to teleport us home. At first, Lash had enjoyed
being in demand, but the later it got, the more we both worried
someone was going to come in and find us. Finally, after a quick
brainstorm session, Lash rolled off the side of the table, slipped
on his jeans, and walked into the darkness. He was back shortly
with a greasy apron that he’d draped over him, hiding his head,
chest and arms from my sight.

“It’s worked so far,” I said, pulling the
remains of my nightgown around me. “Don’t say anything.” I walked
closer, then grabbed his hand, teleporting us to Hayden.

We arrived in Devlin’s bedroom. Devlin was
sitting on the bed, fully dressed, reading a file which he
immediately closed. “You know better than to leave Hayden with her
without telling me, Lash.” He paused, taking in the state of our
undress. “Again?”

Lash tore the apron off his head and threw it
aside. “You know about The Lust and you know we didn’t have much of
a choice, so stop bitching.”

Devlin looked over at me. “Go ahead and use
the shower, Sar.”

I cast a quick glance at Lash, then went into
the bathroom. When I emerged later, Lash was gone and Devlin was in
bed sleeping. As I got into bed beside him, he opened his eyes,
then turned toward me.

“I burned your torn nightgown,” Dev
whispered. “Lash told me you wished that no one know.” He paused.
“Even me.”

“I thought I was done with this and I’m not,”
I replied irritably. “I don’t know why it’s lasting so long this
time.”

“It’ll pass,” Devlin consoled, resting his
hand on my belly. “And it’s worth it, Sar.”

Because it’s not happening to you
. “So
you’re okay with what happened?”

Devlin nodded. “Of course. Lash told me what
happened, how you brought him to Davy’s and had your pool table
adventure.” He chuckled. “He said he was surprised you got so
violent so quickly.” He shook his head. “He should have expected
that, refusing you like he did.”

Lash had left out a hell of a lot when he’d
related the night’s events. He’d kept his promise; as much as he
could, anyway.

“I think he wanted you to chase him around
again,” Devlin purred. “Tell me, is there any damage to the bar I
have to pay for, other than a new apron and locks for the front
door?”

I shook my head. “He contained it.”

“You sound almost fond of him,” Devlin
purred, a new dangerous note suddenly apparent.

“I’m grateful to him,” I corrected. “Please,
let’s get some sleep. We’re both tired.”

I expected a barb from Devlin about Lash
tiring me, but oddly enough he just hugged me and said nothing.

Chapter
Nine

Things went wrong from the first on Saturday
morning.

Someone pounded on the door, waking me with a
start. Devlin also woke, his bad mood from last night still
evident. “What the hell is it?” he yelled.

“Phone call from Danial,” one of the bears
growled back. “He demands to talk to her.”

“Figures,” Devlin said bitterly. “It’s always
something.”

I stretched, feeling the soreness of my body,
scenes from last night coming back to me. God, Lash had been
amazing…

“—
or someone,” Dev finished, giving me
a look that said he knew what I’d been thinking of . “Pick it up,
Sar.”

I grabbed the phone. “I’m here,” I said
quickly. “What is it?”

“Be here by noon if you can,” Danial said
with a sigh. “We have another seventy emails, Sar. At least half
look legitimate—”

I flopped down on my back in bed, dismayed at
the thought of the hours in front of the computer that amount of
emails would translate into. “Danial, what are we going to do?” I
said stridently. “You can’t take all these cases. You’re only one
man, and Terian is still gone—”

“He’ll be home by Wednesday. Besides, Theo is
going to step up. I’m going to start sending him on some cases with
Terian without me. He can work days, and I can’t.”

I was shocked. Danial had never mentioned
this to me before, nor had Theo. “But he can’t do the programming
you can. He’s not computer savvy to the extent you are. Neither is
Terian—”

“No, but they can do the other cases,
especially the ones that only entail watching, or catching someone
in the act, or figuring out what happened to some missing
files—”

That was certainly true, but it didn’t answer
the big question. “Danial, you’ve always been ambitious about your
business. But you’ve never wanted to expand it like this. You don’t
need the money, so why are you doing this?”

“I want Theoron to join me as my partner when
he’s an adult,” Danial answered with pride. “I have hopes that
he’ll want to run the business with me, Theo and Terian. There
needs to be enough work to keep us all occupied. At the rate he’s
learning and growing—”

This was crazy. “Danial, he’s a child. He may
not want to do what you do—”

“Sar, he has to make a living,” Danial said
defensively. “Something may happen to me one day; I’m not
invulnerable! I want him to have respect, and enough power to not
be interfered with, as I do. He can make good money doing this, far
more than he could make as a simple bodyguard.”

I closed my eyes, and counted to ten.

“I didn’t mean it how it sounded,” Danial
added quickly.

Yes, you did.
“I’ll see you this
afternoon,” I said and hung up on him.

Devlin took the phone from me. “I knew this
would happen,” he said, setting it back in its cradle. “Danial
wanted his mortal son to follow in his footsteps also. Nothing has
changed.”

“I guess I always knew Danial was hoping to
have a father and son business,” I said, rubbing at my eyes. “It’s
just way too much, too soon.”

“Sar, Theoron has eternity,” Devlin said
soothingly. “He can get degrees, be whatever he wants. There is
time for him to decide, and for him to be what Danial wants him to
be, at least for a little while, before he decides how he wants to
live his life. He can change his mind and be something else when he
tires of whatever he has chosen.”

“Can he?” I said brokenly. “I think Danial
has his future mapped out for him.”

“That’s a father’s way,” Devlin said,
touching my belly possessively. “I’m looking forward to showing my
son many things, Sar. He can do what he wants for a living, but
he’s going to learn to sing and get an education, particularly in
history and art. Perhaps piano as well, or some other instrument,
if he shows promise in one—”

“It may be a girl,” I said, relaxing. “But
she can do that, too.”

“I want a son, Sar,” Devlin said, taking my
hand. “I want you to try with me to have one, if our first child is
a girl.”

I blinked, then turned my head very slowly to
face him. Devlin looked at me calmly, regarding me with his golden
eyes.

“Our…first child?” I said finally.

“If it’s a boy, we can just have the one,”
Devlin said, kissing my neck. “But I want a boy, Sar. Sooner or
later, if we try long enough, we’ll get a boy. Even if it takes
years, and we fill Hayden with girl children—”

I pushed him away with a sob, and bolted out
of bed. “You said one was enough!” I screamed, tears running freely
from my eyes. “You said you’d help me get fixed!”

Devlin didn’t look ashamed, or drop his eyes.
“That was before. Harriet is pregnant again. Samuel is the father.
He’s keeping her in bed, carefully protecting her. She’s either
going to deliver the child, or die this time.”

“What does that have to do with
anything?”

“He’s already suspicious!” Devlin shouted.
“If she dies, he’ll figure out what I did. If Camlyn gives you the
operation, he’ll find that out, too!”

“Stephen would never betray me.”

“Perseus, Zane, and Samuel will question him
thoroughly, regardless of what happens with Harriet, when they
learn about your inability to have any more children!” Devlin
yelled, eyes flashing. “They’ll torture him to make sure he’s
telling the truth, because they want so badly for it to be a lie.
Camlyn will cave under the pain. Your deception—our deception—will
be exposed.”

“You never planned to help me,” I whispered,
closing my eyes tight. “It was all just bullshit.”

Devlin embraced me. “Sterilizing you won’t
keep you out of their clutches. Having other children together
will. Samuel will understand my desire for a son. Or even for a
daughter, if a son is born to us first. They would not attempt to
take you from me if you’re pregnant and Oathed, Sar. So that is how
you must be until we can find another solution—”

I felt sick, lightheaded, as if I was going
to faint.
This couldn’t be happening.