Lost Paradise (8 page)

Devlin was still apologizing. “—I’ll punish
them for this, Sar. You won’t see either of them again, ever, so
don’t worry. Nothing like this will ever happen again, not to you,
not here at my home—”

“Before I leave, I have to tell Serena what
happened,” I interrupted, remorseful. “She cared about Vince a lot.
She needs to know.”

“I can have someone else tell her, Love,”
Devlin said, drawing back from me. “You don’t need to.”

“No,” I persisted, resigned. “A woman should
tell her. I’ll do it, before I leave.” I’d be damned if would let
one of those women who hated her tell her. It was going to be hard
enough to hear it from a friend, especially as there was no way to
downplay the circumstances.

“Come upstairs,” Dev said, taking my hand.
“She’s in her room, sleeping.”

I followed him, glad of his hand steadying
me. “Kev said I’d killed his best friend. That was the real root of
it, at least for him. Vince…I don’t know why he went along with
Kev.”

Devlin released me. “It’s true, you did kill
his friend. But death is one of the risks of working for me. You
were only defending yourself.”

I hadn’t been looking for a pep talk on the
rightness of my actions.
Maybe this was him trying to make me
feel better?
“I’ll see you later.”

Dev kissed me, then gave me a hard look.
“Tell Theo, if he wants to come, I’ll leave one of them for him. He
has a right for vengeance. You are his to protect as much as
mine.”

I nodded, trying not to give into the surreal
feeling his words had created. “I’ll tell him.”

Devlin went downstairs. I knocked on Serena’s
door.

She opened it, her face streaked with tears.
“Lash already told me, Sar.”

Damn it, Lash
. “I’m sorry—”

She got up and hugged me. “It’s not your
fault,” she said. “Lash told me what happened.”

I hugged her back, and didn’t say
anything.

“I should’ve known,” she said softly. “Kev
had fantasies; he asked me to—”

“Stop!” I said harshly. “Please Serena, I
don’t want to know.”

“Vince never said or did anything. I don’t
want to believe it.”

I hugged her harder. “I’m sorry. I know you
cared about him—”

“I do, but that doesn’t mean I blame you for
this,” she whispered, letting go of me and stepping back. “I’ll see
you when you come next time.” She closed her door gently in my
face.

We both needed some time
. “I’ll see
you then,” I said aloud, and turned away.

I teleported to Danial’s, ending up in the
snow on the lawn. In my haste, I’d forgotten my coat and my
keys.

Fuck, who cared? My first priority was
getting to a shower before anyone smelled snake scent on me.
I
went to the front door and knocked lightly, praying Mary was on
duty.

Instead, Danial opened it a moment later
dressed in his robe, clearly annoyed. He took one look at me and
knew immediately something was wrong. “What happened?” he said,
reaching out to enfold me in his arms. “I can smell that snake on
you from here—”

As soon as he touched me, my strength
evaporated. I dissolved into tears. “Some of Devlin’s bears tried
to—”

“Shh, Sar. I can guess the rest.” Danial
walked me to the nearest phone, picked up the receiver, and began
dialing.

“You don’t need to talk to him,” I said,
irritated. “He said he’d be by later.” I moved out of his embrace,
then walked to his bathroom. “I need a shower.”

Danial put down the phone and came after me.
“The Lust raised with Lash?”

I nodded, stripping off my clothes. “Don’t
tell Theo. I don’t need him to have another hissy fit.”

Danial nodded once. “He won’t hear it from
me. Relax in my room when you’re done. No one will disturb you.” He
turned and left.

Had it been my anger or the scent of sex
with Lash that had caused him to leave? It didn’t matter.
I was
a big girl. I would go shower, cry, and pull myself together.

I took a long hot shower, wrapping my arms
around myself as I sobbed out the delayed shock and fear. The
familiar scent of my favorite blackberry shampoo soothed me,
telling me I was safe, and that it didn’t matter what might have
happened, only what had happened.
I had gotten away from Kev and
Vince. Lash had saved me. That was all that mattered.
I told
myself that over and over until I believed it.

When I emerged, Danial was gone. I went
looking for him and stumbled across Theoron and Elle in her room,
playing a board game, Dark Tower.

The old game was from my youth, back when
computers were new and did only small things. The object was to
journey completely around the board picking up keys and loot, and
then when you’d made it back to your starting point, to challenge
the tower. The most fun was going to tombs and ruins looking for
treasure, because the computer chose for you at random what you
would find.

Once in a while, the tomb or ruin was empty.
Sometimes there was gold, or a dragon-killing sword, or a flying
horse. Often there were bad guys waiting for you in the dark,
protecting those treasures. There was no way to know how many bad
guys you’d have to fight. Most times there were only a few waiting
when the door of the ruin creaked open. These could be easily
beaten. Sometimes there were too many to fight, though. Then, like
in life, you were doomed.

Chapter
Four

Elle was the first to notice me standing at
the door. “Mom!” she cried happily. “Today’s not your day to visit.
I thought you were coming tomorrow!”

“I’m early,” I said, forcing a smile. “Is
that okay?”

They both left their game and ran up to me.
“Yes!”

It felt so good to feel their little arms
around me. I hugged them back, then quickly let them go, not
wanting them to suspect how upset I was. “How’s your game?”

“I’m beating him,” Elle said proudly.

“You are not,” Theoron said snidely to her.
“I’m using good strategy.” He looked up at me. “Want to play? We’re
halfway through, but we could start again—”

That meant
h
e had to be losing.
“No, you guys play,” I said, giving him a smile and ruffling his
hair. “I’ll watch for a while.” Dark Tower was a long game.
Sometimes it went on for three hours or more. Devlin wouldn’t have
patience to wait if he arrived in mid-play.

Two hours passed, Elle emerging the victor,
though Theoron had only been a few moves behind. Through it all no
one came looking for me or disturbed us.

As they put the game away, I debated taking
the kids out to an early dinner as a treat. But for that we needed
a guard of some kind. Also, Danial wouldn’t like it if I left.
Devlin would expect me to be here, too. I knew better than to think
he’d understand.
He wanted me right where he told me I should
be…

I pushed my bitter thoughts aside. Devlin
hadn’t been anything but understanding, really. I was just
grumpy—not that I wasn’t entitled to that—and I wanted nothing more
than to spend tonight quietly with my family. I wanted comfort,
love, and comfort food, too. I’d missed lunch.

“Want me to make you some dinner?” I
asked.

“Yes,” they chorused. “We’re hungry.”

Elle still ate raw meat as Theo did, just
Theoron drank blood like Danial. Tonight however, it was going to
be normal food. “Come on. I’ll make some sandwiches. After, we’ll
make cookies.”

* * * *

We had just put the last batch of gingerbread
cookies into the oven when Devlin walked into the kitchen.

“Uncle Dev!” Theoron yelled. He ran to Dev,
who had crouched down, his arms open to receive him. Devlin grabbed
hold of Theoron, and swung him up into his arms. “We’re making
cookies,” Theoron informed him.

“So you are,” Devlin said with a smile. “Did
you make me any?”

“You don’t eat cookies,” Theoron laughed.

“True,” Devlin said, laughing himself. “But
I’d like some anyway, if you made them.” He put Theoron down, and
came over towards me. “And how’s my lovely—”

Elle blocked him.

Annoyed, Devlin crouched down in front of
her. “Little Lioness,” he purred softly. “What do you think you’re
doing?”

“I don't want you by Mom,” Elle growled. “Not
until Dad comes back.”

“Its okay, Elle—” I started.

Devlin held up his hand. I fell silent.

“Why not?” Devlin said, his golden eyes fixed
on Elle. “Your Mom likes me to touch her, Elle. It’s my right to,
as well. You know what the choker she wears means.”

“I know what it means,” Elle hissed, bearing
her fangs. “But I don’t trust you. I smell—”

“Quiet, child,” Devlin said authoritatively.
“I don’t have to explain myself to you. You will obey me—”

“Stop it,” I ordered. “Dev, where are Theo
and Danial?”

“They came to help me,” Devlin said, making
it clear to me by his tone what they had been helping him with.
“Danial said he had a right as well. Kev and Vince are dead.”

“Thank you.” My words were polite and
clipped. Though I was happy those asses were gone, I’d assumed that
and wanted not to ever hear their names again. Would Titus be
disposing of the bodies? It was much better for me if I didn’t
know.

“You’re safe, Love,” he said softly,
caressing me with his voice. “Lash had a talk with the others as
well.”

Most likely none of the bears, male or
female, would be coming within ten feet of me for the foreseeable
future. That was good, but it also ensured I’d never become
friendly with Devlin’s guards the way I had with Danial’s. My sole
friend there would be Serena. Maybe that was for the best, too.
“Good.”

“You were baking,” Devlin prompted. “For
whom? Theo?”

I’d just been keeping the kids and myself
busy, but his comment reminded me I’d been going to make a cake for
Theo’s birthday in May. I hadn’t decided if he’d want a surprise
party. He’d spent so many birthdays alone. He might still look
twenty-seven, but his face was growing older. There were faint
lines on his brow now that had not been there when I’d met him
years ago. Soon, despite his were genes, we would look almost the
same age. After a few more years passed, he would began to look
even older than me…

“Sar?”

I was scared about that. When Theo was very
old, things would change between us. At the least, he would resent
Danial and Devlin for keeping their youth.
Would he come to
resent me, as well?

“Sar?” Devlin said sternly. “What’s the
matter? You look ill.”

What was wrong with me?
“I’m okay.” I
forced a smile. “Do you really want some cookies?”

“I’ll take some for Lash,” Devlin said
meaningfully. “If you don’t mind.”

I began putting some into a bag. “Of
course.”

Lash might be my lover, but he was not my
friend. Still, I gave business associates cookies, so giving him
some wouldn’t be too odd. We were coworkers of a sort, with me
still feeling like a guest at Hayden instead of its mistress. After
all the work I had done there, it didn’t feel like home to me. Now,
after what had happened today, I doubted it ever would.

Maybe that was best. Dev was going to get
bored with me in a few years or so, just like Theo had said. There
would come a time when my attention and love wouldn’t be enough,
even with him getting more on the side. When he told me it was
over, I wouldn’t be going to Hayden anymore. I would be missing him
enough; I didn’t need to miss friends, too.

“Love,” Devlin said, enfolding me in his
arms. “Please don’t look so sad. Tell me what’s wrong. Tell me what
I can do to help.”

I tucked the bag in his pocket. “I’m all over
the place,” I whispered, worried. “My mood shifts in seconds from
happiness to depression. I felt like this earlier today.”

He kissed me gently on the cheek, then turned
me to face him. “You’ve been through a shock. This is normal, Sar.
Just remember you are loved and safe. I’m here for you.”

I gazed at him. It was hard not to be
spellbound. He was so handsome with his golden hair, his molten
gold eyes, his features that were sculpted, but unquestionably
male.

“I love you,” he said passionately, touching
my nose with his. “Yes, you.”

It was his charisma that really drew me to
him, the way he posed so casually with that gleam in his eyes
inches from my lips. His bearing said he was here for me, that he
was already thinking of the many ways he wanted to caress me.
God, it was enough just to watch him like this and
think…

“Mom, the cookies are burning!” Elle said
loudly.

I jumped, startled. “Take them out.”

“Theo and Danial should be along shortly,”
Devlin purred. “They are showering.” He smiled slightly. “It was
necessary.”

Eww.
I busied myself with the cookies,
removing them from the baking sheet Elle held..

Devlin crouched down and beckoned to Theoron,
who ran into his arms with glee again. “You, Little Prince, are
going out with Theo, Lash, and your sister to a movie tonight.” He
handed Theoron fifty dollars. “That’s for treats,” Devlin said
generously. “Make sure you get enough popcorn for everybody,
including Theo.”

“Yes!” Theoron yelled. “When does the movie
start?”

“In about an hour and a half,” Devlin said
happily, eyeing me and grinning. “Theo and Danial should be back
within the hour.”

“Why aren’t you going?” Elle asked, her eyes
narrowed.

“I and your father have business with your
mom tonight,” Devlin answered.

Elle glared at him. My cell phone rang
suddenly.

It was Terian. “Sar, can you come over to the
lab? I need to talk to you.”

“Now?” I said, trying not to be abrupt. “I’m
kind of in the middle of —”

“Now!” Terian said forcefully.