Gram says careful too, deep inside my head.
Careful.
I remind myself to listen. To be an auditor.
“Okay,” I say. They are right. I am too excited. I have not been thinking clearly. It is very important to think, Gram said. I need to start writing these things down. To not forget.
“You can’t be giving everybody money. It’s not a good idea,” Keith says.
“He’s right, Perry. You have to think of your future. This is a chance for you never to worry about money ever again.” When Gary looks me straight in the eye I laugh.
“Ha! I never worry about money. You work at your job and you get money. You save half and you spend half. Half in savings. Half in checking. That is what I do. That is what Gram said. Other people worry about money. Money just is. I don’t worry about it.”
Gary frowns, then says, “Perry, you have to be careful.”
“Okay,” I say. That seems to make them both feel better.
“Just watch out for any of their funny business, Per. Let Gary and me help you with your mail,” Keith says. Brown pieces of tobacco are stuck on his teeth from smoking, and stringy boogers hang out his nose, but I do not tell him this. It would not be nice. I hope someone tells me when I have boogers hanging out my nose. I would want to wipe them off. But people are funny. They do not tell you when they see your boogers. Gram always told me.
“You got stuff hanging out your nose, Perry! Use a Kleenex!” And she would hand me toilet paper or tissue or if she was in the kitchen a paper towel, which is very rough and hurts. I am out of both Kleenex and paper towels so I say nothing. Besides, Keith is not looking at me. He is very concerned about funny business.
Funny business is something bad and not at all funny.
20
I miss Gram. I still do everything the same in the morning. I get up, go to the bathroom, use my electric razor, and comb my hair. I put on jeans with my flannel shirt and an undershirt underneath. I put on my Nike socks with the cool arrow and slip on my boat shoes. I cook my oatmeal and do my words while I eat.
I have been rich for almost a month.
My words are
nest, nestle, nestling
, and
net, net, net
, and
net
. There are many nets. They catch things. Gram said we had to make up our own rules about words. Sometimes people cannot decide what words mean. The same word can mean a lot of things. Words are like people ’s faces. They do not always mean what they look like. Gram said you just look for what you understand. If you come to a word that you do not know, you keep going until you find one you do.
I know the word
nest
. We had birds on our porch and they used grass and stuff for a nest. I watched them put twigs together and build it. It was like they had a plan. Gram said most animals have plans. Our birds had babies that grew up and flew away. I think they were robins or sparrows. I did not know for sure. A nest is a place that is high and safe from cats that you fly away from. My apartment is my nest.
I have good friends. I am lucky, just like Gram said. Keith is my best friend and then Gary. I have known them both the longest. They were my friends before. I have new friends now. Like in Holsted ’s when I am working. People I do not even know come in just to talk to me. Gary likes it because they buy stuff.
Are you Perry Crandall?
Are you that guy who won the lottery?
Hey, guys, it’s him!
Yeah, he’s the guy, all right.
You won the lottery?
How many tickets did you buy?
Did you have the computer pick or did you have your own lucky numbers?
Do you still play?
Do you still buy tickets?
Do you? Do you?
Shake my hand . . . Shake my hand . . . Shake my hand . . .
I am famous now and people listen carefully to what I have to say. They do not interrupt. They do not say I am slow. They listen. Before I won the lottery, people would always ask for Keith and Manny to help them instead of me. That is stupid because I am the one who knows where everything is. I unload the boxes and put things away on the shelves. Keith and Manny always had to ask me.
“Hey, Perry, where’d we put the snatch blocks?” They would be looking in the wrong aisle.
“Hey, Perry, do you know where the teak cleaner is?” It would be right in front of them.
“Hey, Perry, where are the LectraSan fuses?” They forgot we moved them to the front.
If I look into people’s eyes deep down, I can almost tell what they are thinking. Their eyeballs sort of dart around like dropped screws on the floor. Before I won the lottery, they did not want to talk to me. Now they do, but their eyes look the same. It is spooky, but fun. I mean, I do not know how they really feel.
Gary listens to me say things now. It is like he can’t help it. Even though he knows that I am the exact same person. When you have money, people listen to you.
Keith laughs and says our customers will buy whatever I suggest. “That guy just bought two pairs of Sperrys. He probably doesn’t even have a boat. He just decided to buy the shoes from you, Per,” he says.
“Those shoes are eighty dollars a pair. That’s a lot of money for shoes,” I say. I wear boat shoes, but I do not pay eighty dollars. I get an employee discount. I would not pay eighty dollars for shoes. That is stupid even for Top-Siders. “Besides, he told me he does not have a boat. He just wanted to wash his driveway. I told him you do not slip and fall in the wet when you wear boat shoes. He thought that was a good idea.”
I tell Gary we need to have new things to buy in the store.
“Ladies like to buy cards and water. They want cards like Hallmark and ask for that special water in green bottles.” Hallmark ads make me cry, especially the ones with dogs and old men that remind me of Gramp.
Do you have any cards for people with boats?
That is what all the ladies ask.
Do you have Perrier?
Or they will ask,
Do you sell lattes?
They say this as their husbands or boyfriends look at boat stuff.
Keith always growls behind his hand to me. “Where do they think they are? Seattle?” That is funny, because we are in Everett.
Running a store is easy. You just have to remember to get things other people want to buy. You have to listen. It helps if you are an auditor. People tell you what they want all the time.
We eat our lunch on Keith’s boat to get away from all the people in the store.
Diamond Girl
is painted in blue on one side.
“She’s named after the best song in the world,” that’s what Keith says. He first heard it the day he left Vietnam. He calls it ’Nam.
When I left ’Nam.
After I got back from ’Nam.
I was on my way home from ’Nam when I first heard that song.
If I shut my eyes and smell, I can pretend we are sailing, but we are just eating our sandwiches in the cockpit.
Diamond Girl
is tied to the dock, but I can still pretend.
Gramp taught me to sail for the first time at Mukilteo Park. It was March and cold. I remember. I shut my eyes tight. A movie plays just for me in my head. I am eight or maybe nine years old.
“Heads up, Perry!” Gramp cautioned. There was only room for the two of us. I wore a puffy orange life jacket and could not turn my neck.
“Hold this line. Now pull! Harder! That’s right.” We flew. As we hit small waves, I felt lumps underneath. BUMP! Bump bump. BUMP! Bump bump. They pushed against my bottom and I laughed. Our sail was white with a long red stripe and the number twelve painted at the top. I do not know why.
“Feel the wind, Perry! Feel it.” Gramp put a chilled hand to my face. It was as cold as the Popsicles I sucked on in July. I lifted up my head and hit the edge of my life preserver. The wind stung my cheeks. They were wet from the spray. I licked my lips. It was salt without french fries. My hands were warm in my gloves.
“Pull, Perry! Pull the sheet. Quick now!” Gramp sat behind me working the tiller, guiding the boat.
I was too slow. My line tangled. The boat jibed, tipped, and Gramp and I fell into the water. The cold squeezed my chest. My eyes opened to a blur and my throat was tight. I gulped frigid air as soon as my head broke the surface of the water and I yelled. “Help me! Help!” I couldn’t see Gramp anywhere. I was petrified.
“Help! Help!” Then he was there right in front of me.
“Stand up, Perry, for Pete’s sake!”
The water was shallow. Gramp stood next to me and hung on to the collar of my jacket. I was shivering and wet, but I scrambled to my feet and cheered, “Yeah! Let’s do it again!”
Gramp laughed and said. “You’re a sailor, Perry. A real sailor.”
And we did it again. And again. And again.
“Per?” a voice says.
I open my eyes. Keith is waving his hand in front of my face. “Woo hoo! Perry?” He sounds just like Fritz Dias the repair guy, but Keith does not have a gold tooth and his voice is deeper.
It is time for us to go back to work. When we sit on Keith’s boat for lunch it always seems like a little trip. I like that. A vacation in my head. It is a place where I can think of Gramp and miss him along with Gram. But it is a good miss. They come back into my head like they are here with me, and then they leave again. I just say good-bye to them. I know they will be back.
Every day at Holsted’s, more people come in to see me. They smile and ask me questions about the lottery. They talk to me like they want to be friends and then we talk about boats. I know a lot about boats. People have a hard time finding things they want for their boats. They tell me this. I just listen. They come into Holsted’s to find out about the lottery and leave with what they need for their boat.
We sell out of all the T-shirts that say
Holsted’s Marine Supply.
I fill out another catalogue order form.
“Hey, Gary, look, we can put anything on the back we want.” I point to a blank space on the order form.
“Go for it, Per. What do you want to put?” Gary is filling out time sheets.
Keith comes over. “People are buying all sorts of crap now, Per. If you hand it to them, they’re buying it. Put whatever you want.”
“Can I put my name?”
“Sure. Why not?”
Keith sets out more pens that say
Holsted’s for Your Boating Needs.
We used to give them away, but I accidentally dumped them into a box that was marked two dollars and we sold every one. Keith had to go into the back room and get more. We ran out of everything.
I order more pens and key chains with floats. I mark RUSH ORDER on the form. If we order a lot, we can get it in three days. I also order T-shirts that say
Holsted’s Marine Supply
on one side and
Perry L. Crandall works here
on the other. That is so cool. Keith said I could put anything. I always wanted my name on a shirt. I get one hundred larges and extra-larges, fifty mediums, and fifty smalls. It costs extra, but Keith says it doesn’t matter.
“This seems like a big order, but okay.” Gary initials my order form. It is the first one I have ever filled out. We had a good week and sold a lot of stuff. Gary tells me I am an excellent employee.
Even though I won the lottery, I unpack all the boxes that come in on Saturday. It is my job.
“This one is huge,” I say to Manny.
“How come it’s so big?” he asks.
“The key chain and pen company usually ships in smaller boxes,” I say.
“No shit! Where’s the invoice?” Manny throws packing popcorn all over the floor while he looks.
“Hey stop that!” I say. I know I will have to sweep it up later.
He finds the paper and studies it closely. “Here’s the problem. Right here. An extra zero. It’s your name on the order sheet. It’s your fault. What are we going to do with five hundred key chains? Holy cow! They all have your name on them! Look! Right underneath
Holsted’s Marine Supply!
Gary’s gonna be pissed at you!” Manny walks away and leaves me to do the rest of the unpacking. He will probably tell on me.
That’s okay.
I take the key chains out and put them into a box next to the pens. They all say
Holsted’s Marine Supply.
I make a sign:
Matching pen and key chain. Get both for five dollars.
The number five is a good number. Most people have five-dollar bills and it is easier to add up. Tons of people came in that morning and everything was gone by Sunday afternoon.
Gary laughs. “Per, I don’t know about you. I think maybe you were holding out on us before.”
I laugh with him and feel happy that he called me Per.
When Keith hands Gary another order form on Monday, he passes it over to me. “This is your job now,” he says.
We sell out of T-shirts again. The white pens and floating key chains now have
Holsted’s Marine Supply Home of Perry L. Crandall Lottery Winner
printed on the side in bright green letters. It is cool to have my name on things.
“Don’t look at me!” Keith says to Gary as he unfolds more invoices. “Ask Perry. He seems to know what people want.”
They want my name on stuff. I laugh again. It is so easy. I just ask the customers what they want. They always tell me.
“What would you like to see in our store?” I say, and carry a yellow pad and write down everything they tell me.
“It’s wonderful what you’re doing,” they say to Gary before they walk out of the store. “Just wonderful.”
“What am I doing?” Gary looks at Keith and shrugs.
Keith gets his cynical look and winks at me. “You’ve turned Per into a businessman, Gary. All he had to do was win the lottery and now he’s a businessman.” He slaps me so hard on the back that I cough.