“Yo’s bleeding to death!” Keith takes off his leather jacket and crawls underneath to spread cat litter on the ground. Gary hates oil drips in front of the store.
“You want to come babysit with us, Keith?” I ask.
“Like a dozen needles in my eyeball,” Keith says, and puts his jacket back on.
“Gross! Keith!” Cherry doesn’t appreciate his way of saying no thank you. I can tell by the way she rolls her eyes and sighs. He gives her a hug and a big sloppy kiss on the mouth.
“I’m going to patch some blisters, sand some bottoms, and make a few bucks.” When he says this, he slaps Cherry’s butt. “You guys have a good time and I’ll see you later.” Keith waves good-bye.
Gary gives us a ride so Yo can bleed to death in peace in the parking lot.
Sandy meets us at the door. “Thanks a lot, you guys, I really appreciate it. If we leave them alone, they fight the whole time. Last week, they broke a mirror in the bathroom.”
Gary does not even turn off the engine. He pulls out as soon as Sandy hops in.
We open a giant bag of potato chips, Kelly pours us all Cokes, and we sit in the kitchen. Cherry excuses herself and runs to the bathroom. She is in there a long time.
When she comes out, she looks green.
“Hey, Cherry, are you all right?” I follow her into the living room. Kelly and Meagan are right behind.
“Yeah.” It is hard to understand her. She is mumbling and holding her stomach.
“You going to take a bath?”
She shakes her head. “Not today. I don’t think so.” She scrunches herself down into the sofa.
“You okay?” Kelly is nosy. “Are you sick? Are you? Are you? Are you?”
Meagan slaps Kelly and then hides behind me. In a few minutes, both of them are fighting and I am stuck in the middle. Cherry ignores us all and goes to sleep on the couch. I have to separate Kelly and Meagan five times, so they do not murder each other.
I wish I had rope to tie them up, but that would not be nice. I still wish I had rope. With Cherry asleep, it is very hard to keep those girls separated. It would have been easier with two of us. I am tired and want to take a nap myself. It has been a long day. I am glad when Sandy and Gary get home.
It is dusk and all the outside lights are bright in the marina when Gary drops us off. Holsted’s windows are black. Today it was Manny ’s turn to close the store.
“You want to order a pizza or something?” I ask Cherry. I am hungry and need some real food.
“Sure. Let’s see where Keith is.” Cherry looks more awake. She is still a little green. We walk along the dock. Keith is lying down in his cockpit with a wet washcloth covering his face.
“What’s the matter, Keith? Are you sick, hon? You got a headache? ” Cherry lifts a corner of the cloth. Keith’s eye is purple.
“Wow, that’s almost as good as Cherry’s was,” I say.
“Per?” Keith sounds like he just might be mad at me.
“Yeah?” I wonder what I have done.
“Do you think it might be possible that you could let me know when one of those brothers of yours is supposed to show up?”
“Oh no! Oh jeez! I was supposed to meet John! I forgot. I’m sorry. I was supposed to go somewhere with him instead of over to Gary’s. I forgot!” This is all my fault.
“What happened? Did you get in a fight?” Cherry is rubbing Keith’s forehead and he is rubbing her butt. I have to look away because I am embarrassed.
“That asshole John came with his fucking Mafia buddy looking for Perry. They accused me of hiding him. Shit! I have better things to do than hide Perry. I told them, but they didn’t believe me!” Keith grumbles. “That friend of his is a thug. Are you sure you know everything that brother of yours is up to?”
“That’s it?” Cherry is now kissing the tips of Keith’s fingers. “That’s all that happened?”
“Well, maybe a few more things. I threw a hammer. He threw a rock. I threw a screwdriver, and then his scumbag friend threw a very lucky punch.”
Cherry moves his washcloth to peek underneath again.
“Oww! Careful. That hurts!”
“In the movies they put a steak on a black eye. I saw that in
Rocky
one, two, or three. Or maybe you have to eat raw eggs.” I am trying to be helpful, but Cherry looks sick again.
“Shut up, Per!” Keith sounds grumpy.
That’s okay.
Cherry helps him to his feet, gives him four aspirin, and we go up to the apartment. We call in our order to Pizza Bob’s. They come by so often and I am so famous that we do not even have to give them directions, or even our names. They recognize all our voices.
We watch a DVD while we wait for our food. I like to watch movies with boats, sailing in storms, and guys yelling. This one is great and many people die. Keith and Cherry are cuddling on the sofa. I try to watch the movie instead of staring at them. Keith has his hand on Cherry’s boob. I would like to put my hand there, but I do not dare. She is not my girlfriend and that makes me sad. My privates get hard and I have to excuse myself and go to the bathroom.
If Gram knew what I was doing, she would wash my mouth out with soap or something.
I don’t know why, but it feels good.
50
The warehouse on the other side of Carroll’s Boatyard is for sale. Gary wants to buy it and I want to be a businessman. It is a good idea, so I decide to spend the rest of my checking account money on investing in Holsted’s. I do not touch my savings. We meet with Gary’s lawyer Tom Tilton again. Keith comes with me. He helps me with my business. He tells me the same thing that Gram said. About advantage, only he calls it up-and-up.
“Make sure this is on the up-and-up,” he says, and looks like a guard dog except he doesn’t bark and has no collar or fur.
Up-and-up means fair. It means right. It means no one will take advantage. Keith’s shirt is tucked in and his hair is clean and combed. His ponytail is tied neatly in back. His beard and mustache are short and trimmed. I notice he has new pants and shoes.
“You look nice, Keith,” I say. He does. He looks real good.
“Are you wearing Old Spice? Gramp used to wear Old Spice. You look like you lost weight.” His smell reminds me of Gramp.
Everyone starts to talk at once. I listen. I am an auditor.
Is there a way we can protect Perry?
It’s a lot of money for him to handle.
He’s doing great so far.
Power of Attorney? LLC? Incorporate?
But what can we do? Those brothers of his are up to something. I know it.
This is boring. I start to think up ideas.
“Hey!” I say. “I need a will! Can I do a will?”
“You want a will?” Tom looks surprised. He wears a shiny blue tie that sparkles and long hair like a rock star, but he does not have a guitar.
“What kind of tie is that? I want one.” It is smooth and soft.
“It’s silk,” the lawyer says.
“He has expensive tastes now,” Keith explains, but he is wrong. I just like the shiny blue color and how it feels. The lawyer takes out papers and helps me make a will.
“I can help you make a will. Who would you like for your beneficiary?”
“My what?”
“Who do you want to leave your money to when you die?”
“When I die? Am I going to die?” I look at Keith after I say this. I am worried. “Do you die right after you make a will?”
“No, Per. A will is when you get to decide what happens to your money, just in case you die.” Keith speaks calmly. He knows I do not want to die.
Gary says, “It’s just a precaution really, but as a businessman, it’s important to take care of these things. It’s a pretty good idea. What made you decide to make a will?”
“John did,” I say. “Mike did too. They wanted me to come to his office and make one. Do I have to go there or can I do one here? He has Hershey’s Kisses for me. A whole case.”
Keith and Gary look at each other.
Why in the world would they suggest a will?
What could they hope to gain?
They’re the closest relatives.
No, there’s Louise.
His mother would get all the money, not the brothers, unless Per specified otherwise.
But he’d have to die before they’d get it.
Holy shit, do you think they’d risk it?
Instead of thirty pieces of silver—bags of Hershey’s Kisses?
“I’ll tell you what,” Keith says. “We’ll both make wills.”
“So who do you want to have all your money after you die? You’re in business now. You have assets. It shows financial responsibility when you make sure things are taken care of after you die.” Tom talks fast like a machine gun in a movie.
“But I’ll be dead,” I tell him.
“What about your loved ones?”
I have to think. Then I get a good idea. “I want to leave all my money to Keith, Cherry, and you, Gary.”
“What about your family?” the lawyer asks.
“They already have lots of money. That’s what Gram always told me. That’s why she gave everything of hers to me. She even gave me the house.”
“She left the house to you? I thought it went to your brothers.” Gary has wrinkles on his forehead.
“No, I gave John my Power and he signed thirty-two times. It was escrow. That’s how I got five hundred dollars.”
Tom writes on a yellow pad. “How do you know your brothers have lots of money, Perry?”
“Gram would grumble each time she paid the electricity bill or the phone.” I used my Gram voice to say, “
Those brothers of yours have plenty of money,
she would say.
They don’t need any of mine.
The house goes to you, Perry, free and clear.
She said it was mine but John needed my Power. Just like the Hulk,” I tell them.
Keith starts fuming. I almost see smoke out of his ears. “Gary, what did I tell you?”
Keith! Sit down! You’re like a bull in a china shop!
Gary, I fucking told you that you were naive and you said not to worry! Those were your exact words! Don’t worry, they wouldn’t dare! They’ve already done this before! They know exactly what they’re doing!
Stop. Just stop.
Tom?
We have a saying at our firm that successful small swindles always precede big ones. I can’t say there was anything illegal. That any laws were broken. It certainly sounds immoral, but being immoral is not against the law.
They want Per to make a will. That’s what worries me.
You’re not the only one.
“What about my will?” I ask. They are boring when they talk to each other and not to me. It is rude to ignore your friends.
“I tell you what, Perry. It’s not a good idea to exclude relatives like that. You should leave them something or it’s possible your will could be contested.” The lawyer looks at Gary as if he is waiting for an answer. I think he should be looking at me. It is my decision. He should be looking at me. He tells me contested means they wouldn’t have to do what I wanted.
“I’ve got an idea,” Keith says, and starts laughing. “How about this?” and he tells us his plan.
I think it is a good idea. The lawyer asks me if I am sure.
“Yes, I am sure!” I say this in my shouting voice.
Keith has a very good idea. If I die, my mother gets $5,000 and Gramp’s record player, David gets $5,000 and my twenty-seven-inch flat screen TV, and John gets $5,000 and the best thing of all. Gram’s couch.
Gary laughs and says, “If anything will guarantee Per’s safety, that will.”
“What about their wives?” Keith asks. “You can’t forget them.”
"I know!” I say. “Elaine can have my bike and CeCe can have my green jacket with the hood.” It only has a little paint on it. It is a good, warm jacket.
When we finish, Keith and I get copies of our wills. I feel like a good businessman because I will have many papers to take back to my apartment.
While Gary finishes talking to the lawyer, Keith goes to the bathroom to take a leak, and I take out my calculator and do my adding. My bank statement for this month is folded in my pocket. I will have my next lottery check in October. I get interest from my savings account, plus I get my regular check from Holsted’s. I will get an even bigger salary now because I am partner. I told Gary that I do not need as much as him because I am not married and I do not have two children, a wife, and a mortgage, but he said we are partners and partners have to share. He said Holsted’s is doing well. That is so cool.
I still do not talk about my savings account. Gram said not to. My checking account does not have as many zeros now, after my last investment in Holsted’s, but it is still a lot of money. That’s okay. I am a businessman.
At Holsted’s Gary tells everyone I am a new partner. He announces that we will be expanding. He promotes Keith to manager. Manny looks grouchy until Gary promotes him to assistant manager. Keith’s first job is to hire more employees. He brings in Charles from Pacific Marine Supply and tells me he already hired another employee.
The next day I see who it is. Manny stands at the computer register with Cherry. Instead of Manny showing her how to use it, she is showing him all the things that he did not know before.
“This is the same machine I worked with at Marina Handy Mart,” she tells him.
Cherry only has earrings in her ears, and her long-sleeved shirt covers her tattoos.
“See? You can make extra copies of the receipt right here.” She looks very pretty and professional. “You can access inventory by going into this program.”
Manny watches Cherry for a while then says to me, “That girl knows her stuff!”
I can tell he is impressed. I see him try to peek down the front of Cherry’s shirt when she bends over to get more register tape.