Louder Than Hell: The Definitive Oral History of Metal (49 page)

For Anselmo, partying on the road didn’t end with booze and broads. Throwing himself into his performances night after night for eight years left him with two painful ruptured discs in his back. Exercise helped to a point. Drugs were more effective. He started with prescription painkillers like Vicodin and codeine, but discovered that the most helpful narcotic was heroin. For a while, Anselmo kept his drug use in check. As his back pain worsened, however, his usage increased and he began to withdraw from his bandmates. Then, two months into a tour for 1996’s
The Great Southern Trendkill
, Pantera received an alarming wake-up call following a show at the Coca-Cola Starplex in Dallas.

VINNIE PAUL:
Phil was raging, but he kept to himself, and the performances were good, so we felt that was okay. To me,
The Great Southern Trendkill
was the most extreme record we’d ever made. It came out in ’96 when the rap metal thing was going down. We thought, “This is the biggest bird finger we can give the whole industry.” We still sold almost a million copies. It’s hard for me to listen to. It’s not very musical. It is the most abrasive and darkest record Pantera’s made. We didn’t know it at the time, but Phil was going through a lot of mental distress and drugs. And it’s all on that record. You can really feel the pain—you can see it and you can hear it. It’s just crushing.

PHIL ANSELMO (1996 press release): I, Philip H. Anselmo, immediately after a very successful show in Dallas, injected a lethal dose of Heroin into my arm, and died for four to five minutes. There was no lights, no beautiful music, just nothing. And then after 20 minutes (from what I heard later) my friends slapped me and poured water over my head, all basically trying to revive me. The paramedics finally arrived and all I remember is waking up in the back of an ambulance. From that point on I knew all I wanted was to be back on the tour bus, going to the next gig. Instead I was going to the hospital where I was released very shortly. You see, I’m not a heroin addict. But I am (was) an intravenous drug abuser. The lesson learned here is that every nightmare ever heard about O.D.ing and/or Heroin is terribly true. And for my friends and family as well as myself and our fans (Pantera, Down Etc.), I since then have recovered completely, the Pantera Tour uninterrupted. I intend to keep it that way! Special Thanks to my Family and Friends who supported me, and the fans who pump me up to the hilt. One message to everyone in this fucking world. I am not a weakling groping for sympathy. I WILL NOT DIE SO EASILY! I’m here to piss off the music press for a long time to come.

VINNIE PAUL:
None of us knew he had a problem with heroin. Then, bam, we do the biggest show that we’ve done in years—twenty thousand people in our hometown—and somebody comes up and says, “Hey, man, something’s wrong with Phil.” I went over to the next room and he’s blue and lying on the floor. The paramedics are working on him. You talk about shocking. We all sat down, cried together, talked together. It made us better as people, it made us better as a band. We thought those days for him were over.

REX BROWN:
This type of music is intense shit. It drains you, man. And if you can’t go any further, you can’t go any further. At that point, we were starting to become unhinged.

VINNIE PAUL [2003 interview]:
It wasn’t a “one for all, all for one” thing, the way it used to be. It was me and my brother in one bus and then Phil and Rex had their thing. I don’t know if he was using [heroin] the whole time, but it got to the point where I didn’t know which Phil was gonna show up to the gig. One night he would walk in and be a fucking animal. The next night, I’d walk backstage and he’d be lying in the corner and he’d say he was tired or his back hurt. I will never take anything away from that dude from when he was at the top of his game, but where he’s at right now, yeah, I think he’s much less than subpar at what he does, and I have a hard time watching him when I see him on MTV talking about Superdope Ritual [sic] or whatever they’re called, and he can’t keep his fucking eyes open.

PHIL ANSELMO:
I felt like heroin couldn’t kill me, man; there was no way heroin was stronger than me. Come to find it
could
kill me and
did
, and no fucking way is
anyone
stronger than heroin. Heroin—definable, evil. You’re a liar. The most wretched liar. I’ve had friends whose wives had just miscarried and they’re racing to the hospital to be with their wife and their stillborn child . . . but they need to stop off at the junkie house and get a quick fix. I’ve had friends at other friends’ funerals who have overdosed and died, and they’re lying in the cold fucking earth at twenty, and they’re going back and forth to the car, shooting up. Not pissing on their friend’s grave, fucking opening the coffin up and ripping the corpse apart. Man, I’ve [overdosed and] died three times and been brought back each time. And it was
still
a hard thing to give up.

RITA HANEY:
There was an incident [when Pantera was] in Australia in 2001—and that’s why Darrell started compiling footage—because he wanted to show it to Philip and go, “Dude, look at you. What are you doing?” It was an interview where he was so out of it and he said so much shit that they got [Phil’s friend] Jimmy Bower [Eyehategod, Down] to run into the room and steal the tape recorder from the press guy because Philip had made such a fool of himself in the interview and he didn’t even know what he was saying. Darrell came back and said, “Dude, we actually had to steal that guy’s shit. I bought him a whole new recorder because I felt bad, and I told him I didn’t know who did it.”

VINNIE PAUL:
We all flew out of New York City six hours before 9/11 happened. We landed in Dublin, Ireland. I got off the plane and I had never felt such a cold vibe in my life. I didn’t know what was going on. I went to my hotel, got checked in, and my tour manager called and he said, “Are you watching TV?” I said, “No, what, do they have the Cowboys game on?” He said, “Turn it on.” I turned it on. The second plane flew right into the tower, and I went, “Wow, what fucking movie is this?” He went, “This ain’t no fucking movie, dude. This is happening. The tour’s canceled.” We were stranded there for fourteen days before we got to fly home. During that time, I didn’t speak to Phil once. He turned into a recluse and went into his room. We came home. Two weeks later he called me up and goes, “I got all these side bands I want to put out. If you don’t want to help me get them out, I quit the band.” I said, “What are you talking about, dude?” He said, “Elektra’s not gonna help me do this, and if you don’t help me, I quit.” I’m like, “All right, I’ll do what I can for you.” I did everything I could to get the guy squared away. We’d been doing Pantera for twelve goddamn years and we already agreed to take six months to a year off. Next thing I know, Phil’s off doing Down. There’s no communication. We went a whole year without being able to get in touch with Phil through his management. He was talking shit about us every night on Ozzfest. His attitude was totally destructive.

RITA HANEY:
They tried to help Philip every step of the way. They called Sylvia Rhone at Elektra, and said, “Hey, let the dude go ahead. We’ll take six months off and then you’ll have your new Pantera record.” Vinnie sent Down a brand-new drum kit. Darrell sent Down a PA, monitors, everything they would need for a studio. And he was leaving messages on Phil’s machine saying, “Hey man, I was just trying to see if you got the equipment we sent.” They were
that
supportive. That’s another reason why later on when they found out Phil was doing heroin again and talking shit about them, Darrell started wondering, “Did I help the demise of my band by supporting him?” I said, “No you didn’t! All you did was just love him.” But he felt betrayed.

PHIL ANSELMO:
Once you start using, drug addiction is past, present, and future. You remain addicted. When someone says, “I’ve kicked drugs,” well fine, but for how long? That’s the question that would probably loom in any addict’s mind. I’m an extremist. With me it’s all or nothing. Sometimes it takes a certain getting somewhere in your brain to live the moment. In order to do [
Down II: A Bustle in Your Hedgerow
] I had to torture my soul. No matter how cheesy it may sound, it’s the fuckin’ truth.

RITA HANEY:
We got stories about how Down were at Elektra to play the record for the label and they were completely ridiculous and wasted, saying things like, “We’re the next Led Zeppelin. We don’t need the Abbott brothers. We’re gonna be huge.”

VINNIE PAUL:
Phil has no respect for anything and perceives other people to be less than he is. After hearing him talking so much shit, I looked at Dime and we went, “You know what? I think this might be the end of this. We better start doing something because the only thing we know how to do is play music.” So any kind of rumors about a Pantera reunion back then are total bullshit. Maybe the other guys thought there was gonna be one, but me and Dime were done.

PHIL ANSELMO:
Truth be told, me and the boys hadn’t talked in a while, I had been doing Superjoint, wasted out of my mind. Superjoint was on its last legs and I knew this, then I heard about [Vinnie and Dime’s new band] Damageplan. I called up Vince. He said, “I don’t know if Dime wants to talk to you, man. He’s pretty angry. You’ve been out there doing Superjoint, we’ve been sitting here for over a year wondering what the fuck is going on.” He said, “You can try and call Dime back, but I don’t know.” So I called Darrell. I said, “Sorry I haven’t been in touch. Happy to hear you’re jamming, man. What’s going to happen with Pantera?” He said, “I’m not worried about that anymore. I got this new shit going on.” I said, “Really? So, no more Pantera?” He said, “Man, you’ve been doing this and that.” I said, “Yeah, I know what I
have
been doing. Here’s the question once again: No more Pantera?” He said, “Nope.” He was doing Damageplan and that was the last time I spoke to him.

Pantera or no Pantera, metal remained in a state of flux through the nineties. Old-school heroes like Dokken, Ratt, and Queensrÿche could barely fill clubs, while others, like Skid Row and Lita Ford, left the industry for years. For Iron Maiden, who longed to return to stadiums, the only way to move forward was to return to the past. In 1999, vocalist Bruce Dickinson rejoined the band after a six-year absence, and Maiden released the progressive return-to-form
Brave New World
, which they followed with a triumphant reunion tour.

BRUCE DICKINSON:
It was [manager] Rod [Smallwood] who took me aside and said, “How do you feel about getting it back together?” [I told Rod,] “Well, you know there are a couple of things that concern me, but 90 percent of things I think are massive opportunities.”

STEVE HARRIS:
I’ve always had the view that you don’t look back. You look forward. The thing is, we know Bruce and we know what he’s capable of, and you think, “Well, better the devil you know.” We got on well professionally for, like, eleven years, and so . . . after I thought about it, I didn’t really have a problem with it.

BRUCE DICKINSON:
I told him, “This is why I left.” I can’t remember exactly what I said, but at the end, I said, “Does that make sense?” He went, “Well, yeah.”

As Maiden was regrouping with Dickinson, Rob Halford was collaborating with Nine Inch Nails front man Trent Reznor and John Lowery (aka John 5) on the industrial metal band 2wo. Additionally, in 1998, Rob Halford, then forty-seven, dropped a bombshell during an interview with MTV news producer Jim Fraenkel—although most of those who knew him were hardly surprised.

ROB HALFORD:
I think that most people know that I’ve been a gay man all of my life, and that it’s only been in recent times that it’s an issue that I feel comfortable to address, and an issue that has been with me ever since recognizing my own sexuality. A lot of homophobia still exists in the music world—in all kinds of music. . . . I think it’s difficult for everybody, you know, in making the decision to come forward and be who you are, based on peer pressure, especially if you’re a teenager. That’s where a lot of the anxiety begins, and so maybe people like myself and others that do step in front of a camera and let the world know. Maybe it’s of some help when there’s an individual that’s been successful, that’s been able to achieve dreams and visions and goals in life and not let the issue of sexuality be something to hold them back, so I think it’s an important thing.

MARK McGRATH (Sugar Ray; TV host; DJ):
Before Rob came out, I didn’t know he was gay. One day, I was at Riki Rachtman’s [
Headbangers Ball
] barbecue. Riki’s parties had a mix of the real metal dudes and the guys that were kinda new, like Alice in Chains and [Faster Pussycat’s] Tamie [Downe]—but also Rob Halford. Back then as a joke, I used to wear daisy dukes, heavy metal jean shorts, rolled up, with my nuts hanging out. Then I see Rob Halford, and I’ve never met him before, so I am over the moon. I went to him with such enthusiasm—I looked like “Play the Game”-era Freddie Mercury, I go, “Rob, I’m such a big fan.” I’m overly friendly, touching him. [Film director and McGrath’s best friend] McG is there with me. We were hustling, trying to get a record deal. So I gave Rob my number, told him if he ever wanted to hang out. . . . He took it that I was cruising him, so he started calling my number, which was the house hotline for my band the Shrinky Dinks. First message was [
in British accent
] “Hello Mark, it’s Rob here, I’m currently in Phoenix but I’m promoting the Fight record right now, and I’m going to Los Angeles, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.” He said, “I’d like to fly you out to Phoenix so we could see each other.” The way he said “
so we could see each other
,” I went, “
He’s gay!
” I look at McG, and he goes, “You gotta go. Now! It’s
Rob Halford
. He’s the Metal God.” I was too freaked out. He left a few messages, but he speaks so eloquently, I almost turned gay. I wish I had a gay inclination, ’cause it would have been Rob Halford if I was going to get down with a dude. Believe me. I felt bad if I misled him in any way. I was like, “Why would he think I’m gay? Oh, the shorts and the touching and the phone number.”