Authors: Lila Felix
I ate while Amber and Dylan went on and on about the part
y
they were going to Friday night. They invited me, but I passed. We had
a bout
the next day and I didn’t want to be tired. That’s the excuse I used. I actually didn’t enjoy being around a bunch of drunk guys. Imagine that.
I got through eating and they barely noticed that I had left. When Amber was in love, and it happened often, she was all in.
And I was mostly forgotten.
I walked to American Lit. I was always late, but I hated to get there early and pick a seat. It gave me the creeps. So I just got there a little late and picked whatever seat was left. I walked in and the only seat left was three rows up and on the right side. I sat and prepared to make myself listen to the professor. He had some interesting things to say about Steinbeck, but you had to make yourself stay awake to catch them.
He stopped talking to go into the hall for some water. Everyone started talking as soon as he left the classroom. I reached into my bag to get some gum and when my eyes drifted back I saw that the guy in the aisle next to mine was looking at me. I silently offered him some gum and he put his hands out to catch it. I chucked it at him and he
caught it effortlessly. He smiled at me and it was just breathtaking. Then I remembered that he was the guy I saw sitting at the table the other day at the library.
I popped the gum into my mouth and as soon as I did the fire alarm sounded. There was one right above my head and everyone scrambled to get out of the building. People were standing around outside of the building gawking up expecting flames or smoke. I didn’t see anything and assuming that the class was over, I headed over to the bookstore early.
If I didn’t know better, I would say that the universe was goading me on purpose. Giving me that little gum moment with her and then ringing the damned fire alarm.
And by the way, what the hell was I thinking? I was looking at her and then all the sudden my body acted without my permission and I was bumming gum off of her
. Lame
ass.
I wanted to know her name. I wanted to know why her hair was that color. I wanted to know what she did to get her legs to look mean as hell.
I wanted to hear her voice just once.
I wanted to know everything and anything about her all at the same time and then bask in the glory of it. At this point, I would take anything for another moment with her.
I went to meet up with Dylan for lunch. He was scoping out girls as usual. He was such a sleaze. Even when he was dating someone he was on the prowl.
Me? I couldn’t get a date to save my life. Some girls liked me until they saw my tattoos and piercings and the ones who liked my tattoos and piercings usually were a little on the crazy side. At least the ones I met.
We ate and I listened to him go on and on about Amber. And he had met Amber’s friend this morning and
Amber’s friend had ocean
blue hair and….
“What did you say?” I asked throwing my fork down on the plate.
“What part?” He looked like he had no clue.
“You said the girl had blue hair—Amber’s friend. Spill it.”
“What? Her name is Nellie and she has blue hair. It’s
kinda
freaky if you ask me. I mean I know they do that roller derby thing or whatever. But blue hair, really?”
“Nellie. Nellie. Nellie.” Just whispering her name made me feel like I knew something about her.
“Yeah. That’s her name. What the hell man? Do you know her?”
“I wish. That girl is in my American Lit. class
and I’ve been trying to talk to her.”
“Well that’s easy man. I’ve got tickets to their next game or match or whatever they call it. It’s Sa
turday night at six at the skating rink
.”
“Well I’m in. You find out anything else about her?”
“No, I know they live together. Other than that,
nothin
’”
“I will be there Saturday.”
“YES! Finally you’ve got the
hots
for a girl other than Amy.”
“Ugh…don’t remind me.”
“I told you that guy Lucas was trouble. But for a while there y’all were tighter than me and you.”
“You were right. That whole thing sucked.”
“Really Hellie? This is like really bad exercis
e video leotard pink. This is ‘
I got spanked by Ms. America’ pink. This is…”
“Ok, ok, ok, I get it. It’s hot pink. I like it.”
“I guess so. It’s already in your hair. I’m sure it will turn out well.”
“
We have practice tonight so I have to get it washed and dried. We need to practice hard. That team we’re up against Saturday looks fierce.”
“I know, I know. I’m gonna call Dylan. Come get me when you’re getting ready to go and we’ll ride together.”
“Yeah.”
I sat in the bathroom until the timer went off on my phone and then washed the pink down the drain. Wow, it was really pink. I rinsed and rinsed until I saw no more pink and then conditioned it well and let that sit for ten minutes. My poor hair, I put it through hell.
I dried my hair and then got dressed for practice. Lycra pants underneath shorts and a team t shirt.
I made sure my bag had my first aid kit and all of my skates and paraphernalia.
I split my hair down the middle and made two braids on each side of my head. I brought my bag and my shoes out to the living room and knocked on Amber’s door to let her know I was about to leave.
She came out with her bag as I grabbed us some bottled water and oranges. She talked on the phone from the time she left me dyeing my hair until I took it from her while we were warming up and hung it up. She was pissed, I knew she would be. But she needed to get over it. Practice was practice and I was the team captain here. And on the rink she was no different than any other team member.
We started off practice with a round of twenty down. After we finished that we did some practice falls and some of the poor
newbies
, or fresh meat as we called them, looked like they were about to die. And we were only half way through. After practice was finished we were all whipped. Amber was still pissed when we got into the car and as soon as practice was over had gotten back on the phone. Now I was pissed.
Thursday and Friday went by and I didn’t even see Amber on either day. I saw her as she came out of her room on Friday night, dressed to kill. She sat with me at the table where I was studying and I put my pen down to look at her.
“I’m sorry, ok? I was pissed that you took my phone away at practice but I understand. I mean I’ve taken phones away from fresh meat before. It won’t happen again.”
“Ok, good. You look great by the way.” I gave her a tight lipped smile.
“Thanks. You should come with us. I hear Dylan’s friend is coming.”
“I need to study. But have a good time, ok?”
“Yeah, ok.”
There was a knock at the door and she answered it and left without even saying goodbye. But that was typical for Amber. When she was dating a guy, I was a second class citizen.
I closed up my books, aggravated and hurt. I decided that I just wanted to take a long hot bath and relax. After running an insane amount of hot water and putting in some coconut bubble bath I slid in and tried to think of something good. Something to make me forget all the negative personalities in my life. I smiled suddenly as I finally found something worth smiling at. And he had black hair and the greatest smile I had ever seen. I wondered, if it wasn’t for that alarm, if he would’ve talked to me. I laid in the tub
and let the scenarios wander through my head.
This was the last time. And I knew that I said that the time before but this time I meant it. This is just absurd. I leaned
back
in the corner of the frat house
with my arms folded
watching the scene in front of me. It was simply mind numbing. The girls and guys who would normally act studious and intelligent were now bumping and grinding all while keeping their red plastic cup perfectly balanced, even while they sipped as they danced. Girls were wearing next to nothing and guys stood to the side making bets and bumping fists in conversations about who would
screw which one next. Most people would find this everyday activity for people my age but I had been there and all it brought me was headaches and near death experiences.
A girl wearing a plaid schoolgirl skirt and a white shirt tied under her chest sauntered towards me trying to be seductive and failing completely.
She was hot, no doubt, but a drunken schoolgirl trying too hard was not my thing.
“Hey, something is not wrong here.” Oh Lord, she was talking stupid already.
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” I asked as I caught her arm so she didn’t hurt herself. The poor girl was still trying to dance provocatively and all it accomplished was almost making her bust her ass.
“You’re not dance drinking
dancing
.” She slurred at me.
“Nope but
that girl over there is talking to you.” I faked
hearing something and then pointed to a random girl.
She walked over to the other girl and they started giggling like what I said was true.
That was easy.
People were starting to file out and I heard from a loud guy that the keg had run dry. I looked around for Dylan and Amber but I didn’t see them.
I sat on the stairs and waited. I was not going up there looking for them. My phone started ringing. The caller id said ‘Dylan’ so I answered it.
“Hey…we are
hot
bubble
tub.” The drunken sentences were grating on my last nerve.
“I’m on my way.”
Please don’t let them be naked. Please don’t let them be naked. I’m never doing this again. Never.
I went through the back door and thankfully they were fully dressed and only had their feet in the hot tub.
After some convincing, they finally agreed to let me bring them home. I
dropped Amber first and Dylan insisted on walking her up to her apartment. I rolled my eyes and told him to hurry up.
I woke up to giggles and shushed voices and bodies that bumped into furniture. It was Amber dragging her drunk self in. I went into the living room and helped an even drunker date get her inside and then convinced him to leave, making sure he had a driver first.
I helped Amber change and get into bed. She was a lot drunker than she usually was and would pay in the morning.
She went on and on in a drunken stupor about being in love with Dylan and it reminded me that I had no one.
After I got back into bed I did something that I hadn’t allowed myself to do in a long while.
I cried. As much as I pretended things didn’t get to me, they did. Corey and Cassandra, even though it all went down over two years ago, still stung. She was my best friend. Even after the breakup I felt relieved that it was all over but it still hurt. And then to hear all of the things that were being said behind my back was vicious. Apparently it all came down to the simple point of me not putting out.
They had only been t
ogether three months before she got pregnant the first time. They got married immediately and were now expecting their third.