Love Beyond Compare (Book 5 of Morna’s Legacy Series) (26 page)

“In my heartache, I fled. I doona remember the moons that came after, only that Adwen happened upon the cave I’d made my home when I was near death from grief and starvation.”

“Oh my God, Orick.” I wrapped my arms around him, my heart aching for the childhood he’d lost that day. I couldn’t imagine Orick as anything other than the talkative, friendly man he was now. “I’m so sorry.”

“Ach, lass, ’tis like a dream to me now. I can think back on it with only a small pain, no the heart-tearing ache that consumed me for so long. I know that if Adwen had not found me, I would have died.
 

“Ye know, as a child, Adwen was much as Cooper is now—old beyond his years, caring, and courageous. ’Tis perhaps why I have taken to wee Cooper so. Anyhow, Adwen took my hand in that cave, when I know I looked frightening enough that he dinna know if I would accept his hand or eat it.

“His family took me in and ’twas a year before I uttered a word. They were all kind to me, but most kept their distance—not Adwen. Every day, he would come to sit with me, often all afternoon, and he would talk. He would talk, knowing I wouldn’t say anything back. He never lost his patience with me, never said an unkind word. With time, a trust grew, and when I did talk, there was no more stutter in my voice.”

I stood there sobbing against Orick’s chest while he rubbed my back in comfort. It was ridiculous, but I couldn’t help it. His story broke my heart.
 

“Oh, Orick. I don’t know what to say to you.”

“Ach, ye doona need to say anything, lass. I dinna tell ye to upset ye. I told ye so ye’d know how much I owe Adwen. Even if that kind lad turned into an entitled, ridiculous man, I owe him my life.”

I laughed and ran the back of my hand over my eyes as I stepped away from him. Orick and Adwen could take jabs at each other all they wanted. Theirs was a brotherly love that allowed for anything.
 

“Thank you for telling me, Orick. We should join them and go on through, I think. Otherwise, we might drown standing out in this rain.”
 

“Aye. And lass, I doona think I helped ye as I meant to. Allow me to tell ye what I would do.”

“Please.” I needed any help I could get, and I valued Orick’s opinion more than most.
 

“The decision Morna left ye with is too grand to make on yer own. If fate is real, lass, I think she deals more in the matters of the heart than in people’s lives, for we are all fated to die, aye? Seems a wasteful thing for fate to be concerned in, if ye ask me.”

He made a valid point. “Well, yes.”

“Then share what ye have with Isobel and let her decide. ’Tis her life. I doona see why ye should be the one to bear such a burden.”

He was right. Isobel was the only one with the right to make this decision.
 

CHAPTER 36

Cagair Castle – 1649

“Will ye tell me now where ye’ve been, Jane? For ’twas not the village.”

“No.” I smiled as I crawled onto the bed next to her. She looked weak and tired, but I could tell it had been a good day for her. She greeted us outside of her room when we arrived, and her eyes didn’t look as dull as they had the afternoon we left.
 
“It wasn’t the village.”

“Aye, I know. Where did ye go?”

“I can’t tell you that, Isobel. You wouldn’t believe me even if I did.”

She grinned and shrugged her shoulders. “If I willna believe ye, then what is the harm in telling me? Please, Jane. There’s no been much to occupy my mind these last few days. ’Twas lonely here without the rest of ye.”

“Fine.” I thumbed the small glass vial hidden in one of the folds of my dress. “We went to the future.”

Isobel laughed and lifted her finger to point at me. “See? ’Twas easy to tell me, and yer fanciful answer is one of the reasons I missed ye so. It doesna matter. I’m just happy that ye’ve all returned safely.”

“Me too.” And I was. Not only that we’d returned safely, but I was genuinely happy to be back. I’d not known how badly I needed to see what I thought I missed to realize that I was right where I belonged. “How are you feeling? Is the blood still coming?”

Isobel’s smile dropped, and she patted her chest lightly. “Aye, it comes with every cough now. Though some days I doona feel so bad, I know that I’ve not much time.”

“Isobel.” I gathered her hands in my own. “I’ve got something to show you and then you must make a decision.”

“A decision, Jane? Oh, doona let Gregor hear ye. He doesna think I’m capable of making those myself.”
 

She laughed at herself, and I smiled. It was good that her humor remained.

“I know, and that’s why I’m not telling him. I know he’d think he had every right to help you in the decision, and there’s no question about how he would decide. Here.” I placed the vial in her hands.
 

She picked it up and tilted it from side to side, examining the violet colored contents with suspicious eyes. “Is it an herb?”

I shrugged. “There might be a few herbs in it. I don’t really know.”

“Jane.” She placed the vial back in my hand, closing my fingers around it. “I have seen things during the days that ye’ve been away—figures of women in the halls or amongst the stairs, voices in the air. There is magic in this place. Is that what this is, Jane? Did ye go to find the person whom Cagair’s magic springs from?”

“Not exactly, but that’s close enough. Does it really matter where we went or what this is? It has the power to heal you.”

“Aye, I doona doubt that, lass, but what did it cost ye?”

She wasn’t going to take it; I could see the denial of my offer in her eyes. I had believed it would give her hope when instead resignation seemed to cloud over her eyes.
 

“It cost me nothing. It will cost you nothing to take it.”

“There is naught in the world that comes without cost—no love, nor hate, nor war, nor peace. If it comes without cost now, a time will come later when the price will have to be paid, and the cost will be much higher than the price of my life then.”

“No.” Tears filled my eyes, and she reached to brush them away. My voice shook as I spoke to her. “I don’t believe that. Isobel, your life is precious. We all love you. None of us want to say goodbye.”

“There is a natural order to things. I can feel death coming for me. ’Tis no as frightening as I imagined it would be.”

“Well, tell it to go away. Death can come for someone else.”

“No.” Her voice was harsh, her eyes disapproving. “Doona say that, Jane. ’Tis what would happen if I drank from this vial. I willna take it, though I thank ye for loving me so.”
 

“Isobel, that’s not the way the world works. There’ll be no punishment for your healing.”

“If ye believed that, you wouldna give me the choice. Ye canna know and neither can I. I willna risk the life of another, no when I have led a full life full of love and friendship and, now with our journey here, adventure. I’ve made my peace with it. ’Tis time for the rest of ye to do the same.”

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Isobel didn’t see him as he stood in the doorway of the bedchamber, and Adwen took the moment to watch her rather than make his presence known. With each cough, more blood smattered the worn piece of cloth she held to her mouth. She had only weeks left, if that.
 

Isobel’s spirit still shined so brightly. Her body was failing, but the essence of her clung on to life so tightly. In a way, he thought it would make the last days of her life even harder for all those who loved her.
 

It had been difficult enough to watch his mother pass, and she’d given up her fight a fortnight before passing; Isobel wouldn’t be that way. She’d stay the same until the end. He didn’t think he could watch such a light be wiped from this earth.
 

Jane told him everything shortly after their return through the portal. Never for a moment did he believe Isobel would choose to save her own life. The vial sat untouched next to her bed just as he knew it would. For Isobel to drink it would have been for her to defy the woman she was. Adwen believed strongly that Jane and Orick were wrong to give her the choice. It was no better than never having the potion at all.
 

Jane and Orick’s hearts were too pure. They only saw love as kindness and understanding and holding the other’s hand, but Adwen was selfish enough to see that love was often more than that. Sometimes, love meant making decisions the other isn’t brave enough to make. Sometimes, love meant being selfish.
 

He loved Isobel. He valued her friendship. He valued her life, and if no one else could see sense, Adwen would do what was needed.
 

He waited until Isobel slept soundly, waiting to make sure he couldn’t hear Gregor’s footsteps approaching. When all lay quiet, he slipped inside, taking the vial from its resting place. Adwen would make breakfast come morning, and Isobel’s food would be prepared especially for her.
 

CHAPTER 37

“Aunt Jane, will you please get your arms off of me? I can’t breathe.”

The tears I’d cried before drifting to sleep still clung to the corners of my eyes, dried and painful. I had to rub my hands over them to push away the crust so that I could open my eyes as I lifted my arm from around him and scooted over in the bed.

“Coop, I didn’t notice you. How long have you been in here?”

“I know you didn’t notice me. Want to know why?” He smiled and lifted one of his feet from beneath the covers. “I’m wearing socks this time, so my toes weren’t cold. I made sure they were on just for you, Aunt Jane. And I haven’t been in here long, I just came to wake you up actually, but you were sleeping really hard so I just crawled in to get warm. Then you tried to kill me with the weight of your arm.”

I frowned as I pushed myself up in the bed. “Well, I appreciate your thoughtfulness in wearing socks, but I don’t appreciate the insinuation that my arm is overly heavy. It’s not.”
 

I found myself holding it up to give it a look over just to make sure.
 

“Your arms wouldn’t feel so heavy if you didn’t wrap them around me like an octopus.”
 

I shrugged in apology. My arms and legs always seemed to know the second another person joined me in bed and instantly moved toward the secondary source of heat—unless said person had cold feet or hands, then I stayed clear of them.
 

“Is anybody else up?”

“Oh yeah, everybody. They have been, like all day.” Cooper scooted off the bed and walked over to the window to pull back the thick curtain. “See? The sun is already starting to fall again. It will be dinner before long. I wanted to come and wake you earlier, but Adwen said not to.”
 

I knew it was late when I finally fell asleep, but I couldn’t believe I’d slept all day. My grief at Isobel’s decision exhausted me completely.
 

Adwen had to wonder what was wrong with me. It surprised me that he’d not come looking for me during the night. I’d not joined him in his room, instead retreating to my own bedchamber. After leaving Isobel, I wished to be alone. I still felt much the same way today.

“So why did you come and wake me now?”

“Because,” he crawled back on top of the bed, “I couldn’t wait anymore, and I wanted to say thank you.”

“Thank me for what?” If only Cooper knew how my conversation had gone with Isobel the night before, he wouldn’t be here giving me his thanks. Rather, he would be busy searching for the vial so that he could steal it, pinch Isobel’s nose, and shove it down her throat—exactly what I wish I had done.

“I was afraid to ask before, just in case, ya know? But deep down, I knew Morna would help. I just wanted to say thank you for getting her help, even though you were so mad at me for going through the portal. But everything is fine now, and it’s all thanks to you and Morna.”

Obviously Cooper’s definition of “fine” differed greatly from my own. Once he knew the truth, his heart would be broken.
 

“What do you mean by that, Coop?”

“A little bit after breakfast, Isobel started to act a lot different—like she wasn’t sick. I think she’s getting better, Aunt Jane.”

Undoubtedly, whatever recovery she seemed to have had was one of her brief rebounds, but those were certain to grow fewer and farther in between. With Cooper’s unshakeable faith in Morna, of course he’d seen Isobel’s good morning as a sign of returning health.
 

“Coop, I don’t think that is what’s happening. I need to tell you something about what Morna told me. She wasn’t able to help Isobel. There have been days before, remember? Days that Isobel felt more like her old self before getting sick again?”

He stared at me for a long moment, crossing his little arms as he sat across from me. His face fell at my words, but he said nothing, his brows pulling together in deep reflection. After a long while, he spoke.
 

“Yeah, I know, but are you sure? ’Cause this morning was different than those other times. Isobel knew it too and, for some reason that I really don’t understand, she’s really mad about it.”