Authors: Sarah Gates
‘For all of you, what you want is Luke on one knee at the end of this journey.’ He paused for dramatic effect, running his eyes over the three women before him. Didn’t anyone tell him that they had already filmed their reactions? ‘The question remains. How does Luke feel about you? Let me introduce, for the last time before the finale … Luke Westwood!’
Luke emerged from the trees just as Mason had. They were filming in the same spot Anna had run into Luke, off set, that first time. In those private moments away from the camera, she’d got to know him. Not the rich, successful athlete in the gossip rags or the cookie-cutter nice guy from the show. She knew him like the other contestants didn’t. And he knew her.
He knew she wanted to go home.
Even if she’d changed her mind, it was too late now. Not that she had any regrets. She should have left long ago. Her café was close to complete. She was needed at home. It wouldn’t have worked between them even if they’d tried. Luke travelled like a nomad, living wherever the snow was best with his team by his side. There was no room for her life and she wasn’t the type of person to give up her dreams for a man. Besides, they would never know if their feelings were real. The show had been successful for a reason—Stockholm Syndrome was a legit reality-television strategy.
When she got home, Anna was going to take a long, hot shower with the music pumped up. Then she was going to walk down to the local shop, buy the ingredients for one of her favourite recipes with her own money, and cook it. Not having to manoeuvre around any other women would be bliss. If he wasn’t working, she’d call Ben and yell at him. The Twitter account was not yet forgotten or forgiven.
‘Luke, tell us: which lucky lady is going straight through to the finale?’
Anna closed her eyes for a brief second, preparing herself. Before she could open them again, Luke had called Jessica’s name. Just one more name and she’d be free.
Anna wouldn’t miss the cameras, but she would miss Luke. She wanted to know all his emotions. She wanted to make him happy. She loved him. She was in love with him and now it was time to say goodbye. She bit back tears and looked directly into his eyes.
‘So it comes down to Anna and Liu Kun. One of you will be leaving tonight. Luke, tell us: who do you choose to join Jessica in the finale?’
Luke looked at Anna and she opened her eyes wide, mouthing just one word to him:
Please
. If the cameras caught it, they would think she was begging to stay on the show. Begging for Luke to choose her. Only he would understand what she really wanted.
A strange expression that Anna couldn’t decipher crossed his face. After this he would pick a partner. Maybe he would even propose in the finale, just like the crew wanted. And she would never see him again.
‘Luke? Who do you want to stay?’ Mason prodded, although Luke had probably been instructed to wait. None of their emotional reaction shots from earlier would compare to the footage the crew were getting now. Anna couldn’t hide any more. In the face of actually saying goodbye to the man she loved, she’d reached her limit.
‘Liu Kun,’ Luke choked out. ‘Will you join me in the finale?’
Anna didn’t see the other woman’s reaction. She couldn’t tear her eyes from Luke, even as he looked to the other woman and they shared their moment. As Liu Kun left and Mason gave his final spiel, not an inch of her body moved. She’d forgotten how to operate anything but her eyes as she memorised every inch of Luke’s body. Especially his face.
Only when Mason prompted her to move did Anna do so. She stumbled forwards to say goodbye to Luke. It couldn’t feel like just the two of them on the beach. Not with the lights so bright it felt like an indoor studio. But despite that—and despite their words the last time they’d seen each other—Anna found herself rushing into his arms.
‘I’m going to miss you,’ Anna whispered into his ear. Luke wrapped his arms around her waist.
‘Anna.’ His voice stammered and he stopped, squeezing her tighter. It felt like there were mountains of words left unsaid between them. What do you say in that situation? None of it was normal.
‘Good luck.’ She forced herself to take slow, even breaths. With a swift movement, she placed one last kiss on Luke’s cheek and pulled away. Anna rushed through the trees, towards the road, before the crew had time to catch up and lead her away.
* * *
Anna stared straight ahead, not seeing the cameras, the crew or the leather interior of the black sedan. Her mind was occupied with Luke’s face as he’d called Liu Kun’s name. The man had been drool-worthy in his fitted Hugo Boss suit. It made her wish she’d given in back at the hotel. Perhaps she could’ve slept with him and still walked away with her heart intact?
‘Anna, can you tell us how you’re feeling?’
Now she would never know. She’d never know what he looked like with those pants pooled on the floor. The idea sat uncomfortably in Anna’s stomach. If she opened her mouth, she feared loud sobs would emerge instead of words. So she kept her lips sealed.
‘What do you think about what happened tonight?’
Of the director, producer and cameraperson opposite her, none showed any sign of empathy. Anna concentrated on keeping her face blank. She knew enough about reality television shows to know this was the emotional goodbye interview that marked the end of her journey on the show, and a spike in ratings for
Love Elimination
if her reaction was tearful or spiteful.
‘Did you expect to be going home tonight?’ Joe asked, his voice growing impatient even as he fought to sound conversational and kind. While he was talented at managing the show and keeping everything running smoothly, he really wasn’t made for this. Instead of wanting to confide in him, Anna was perfectly happy to ignore him.
It shouldn’t be taking so long to get to the airport. As time passed and Anna leaned her head against the window, spotting the occasional landmark under streetlights, she realised that they weren’t even driving in the right direction.
‘Where are you taking me?’
After a moment of silence, Joe spoke: ‘We’re going to keep driving until we get our footage.’
‘You’re kidnapping me.’ It wasn’t a question and they didn’t answer.
‘Luke is a wonderful man and I hope he finds his true love, whoever it may be,’ Anna said, pulling her lips into a sad smile. It was forced. She definitely didn’t have a career in acting on the horizon if the café didn’t work out.
‘How does it make you feel, thinking of Luke with another woman?’
‘I wish him all the best.’ She sounded like a Hallmark card, but it was better than letting the nation see her shattered heart. Anna had fallen for him—and now she could go home and analyse those feelings. In private. The logical part of her brain thought that the feelings would fade away without the show forcing them together with its romantic dates, candlelight and flowers. Hoped they would.
The director frowned. ‘Cut the crap, Anna.’
‘That’s all you get.’ Anna spoke slowly and carefully, thinking about each sentence before saying it aloud and testing whether it could be edited to sound like the heartbroken or angry interview they wanted. ‘I’m just going to keep repeating myself until you let me go home. So please, just call it quits and put me on a flight.’
‘We can’t do that,’ Joe said. ‘Just give us one sentence of how you’re really feeling.’
‘I’m happy to be going home,’ she deadpanned.
‘Anna, you have a decision to make. Option A: you give me a good, heartfelt interview right here and now. Option B: I call Kate and you give her a good, heartfelt interview. Option C: Kate fails—either because you don’t speak to her or because she refuses to get the answers out of you—and I fire her.’
That got Anna’s attention. But as hard as she stared into his eyes, she couldn’t tell whether he was serious or bluffing. She considered disregarding her sister’s wants and needs just as Kate had betrayed hers during filming.
‘Fine,’ Anna conceded. She took a deep breath and thought about how her whole self ached. ‘I’m going to miss Luke. A lot.’
‘Okay. That was good, Anna. Thank you,’ the producer said. ‘Now can you tell us how you felt when Luke called Liu Kun’s name instead of yours?’
‘It hurt.’
‘Did you expect to be going home tonight?’
‘I don’t know.’ It was part truth. Although she’d begged Luke to send her home and although she was sure it was the right thing to do, part of her expected Luke to keep her there anyway.
‘Were you nervous before the elimination?’ the producer asked. Compared to Kate, he was a terrible producer. His compassion was entirely unbelievable.
‘No.’ They made that stupid circling motion until she kept speaking. ‘I tried not to think about it. There’s no point stressing over something that may or may not happen, right?’
‘Did you think about what it may be like if Luke proposed?’
‘No.’
‘Why not?’
‘I guess because it’s all so surreal. Who expects to have their perfect proposal on a reality television show?’ She stumbled over her words.
‘Have you been in love before?’
‘Once,’ Anna murmured. Before Luke, she’d dated a series of losers—until she decided to give up on men. But without being cheesy, she understood the songs about love now. Particularly the ones about heartbreak.
‘Did you fall in love with Luke?’
Anna closed her eyes for a fraction of a second. She didn’t want to cry in front of the cameras. Not now, when she’d come so close to maintaining her composure throughout the season.
‘Yes,’ she whispered honestly.
It was too late. A tear slipped from beneath her eyelid. It was followed by another, and then another. Anna wiped at them, but her mouth still tasted like salt. She had failed.
With Kate still on set, the apartment was empty. Not that Anna spent any time there—every moment was committed to her café and forgetting Luke Westwood. So she cooked. Meringue, mousse, cheesecake, tarts, macaroons … She produced high-end deconstructed desserts for the menu and smaller baked goods for the cabinets. After months of uncertainty, Anna locked in a menu. She didn’t include a single thing she cooked while on
Love Elimination
.
She bought cushions, vases, fake flowers and candles; most from op shops, but some from actual stores. The café was hip, trendy and completely finished, with the last of the kitchen and heating system installed under her watchful eye. With one last flourish, Anna hung her framed liquor licence on the wall. The place was ready for opening night. The last piece of the puzzle had recently fallen into place: the café’s name, Desserts For My Father.
The only thing that wasn’t ready was Anna. She was distracted. Advertisements for the show were everywhere. The Sydney photo shoot was put to good use, because Liu Kun, Jessica and Luke were on every bus stop, billboard and online news page. Even going out of her way not to see them, Anna spotted one every few hours whenever she left the house. On the day of the
Love Elimination
finale, she rushed home, trying to avoid each one and pretending not to know it was airing that night.
When she got back to the flat, Kate was there.
‘Sorry for bringing Mum on the show!’ her sister hurried to say for the hundredth time. Her texts and emails had all started and ended with ‘I’m sorry’ since the day they’d filmed at the apartment.
Anna dumped her bag on the counter and flopped down in a stool. She didn’t even feel angry any more. All she felt was tired. Her lower back ached from lifting trays and her eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep.
‘It’s fine. You’re forgiven,’ Anna mumbled. ‘Let’s never talk about it again.’
She wasn’t mad. She understood being manipulated by Joe and the producers, and it helped that Kate was no longer working for
Love Elimination
. Despite being the one to save the day by having Anna step in, Kate had been let go in the media maelstrom that followed the family date. Her own lover had fired her. Now both sisters were heartbroken.
‘Shouldn’t we talk about this?’
‘I really don’t want to,’ Anna said. ‘Not because I’m still angry or anything. I just want my sister and best friend back.’
‘I thought Ben was your best friend?’ Kate teased.
‘Oh yeah. My bad.’ Anna grinned.
‘Okay.’ Kate’s forehead creased. ‘Are you hungry? I bought Thai and there’s enough for three here.’
‘Ravenous.’
Kate arranged the plastic containers on the counter. When they’d both piled their plates high, Kate grabbed them and carried them to the couch.
‘Can you get us each a glass of wine?’ she called over her shoulder as she picked up the remote. By the time Anna joined her with their drinks, the first strains of the
Love Elimination
opening sequence began to play. Luke’s face filled the screen and Anna’s heart stuttered.
‘No, Kate. I don’t want to watch this.’
‘It’s the finale.’
‘Exactly. I don’t need to see Luke profess his love for another woman.’ It was the closest Anna had come to confessing her feelings to her sister, though she knew Kate had probably seen every bit of footage from the show—including Anna’s farewell interview.
‘Trust me, Anna. You need to watch it.’
The music died out and the title screen was replaced by Luke’s face. From there, it wasn’t a conscious decision—Anna couldn’t look away. She wanted to reach through the screen and touch him.
Luke was just as handsome on the television, even if it didn’t pick up all the nuances of his face; like the shadow of unshaven facial hair or the defined muscles beneath his suit. Every expression was forced—from the pensive gaze as he looked out from his balcony somewhere in Bali where the finale was filmed, to the smiles as he shared one last date with each woman in the luxurious location.
Anna watched as Liu Kun and Jessica received last-minute advice from the experts, mostly urging them to express their love before it was too late. The women wrote speeches and delivered them with tears. Luke told them how special they were and Anna’s every instinct told her to leave the room, but the sight of Luke held her there; as did Kate, who kept murmuring ‘trust me’ over and over again.