Love 'Em or Leave 'Em (11 page)

Luke looked each of them over, as if trying to make the selections quickly in his mind. Ashley didn't envy him his position. Cutting four of them with no time to prepare was a huge endeavor.

Clay looked smug now that he was no longer in danger of physical harm. "Ladies, thank you for your cooperation in this impromptu rose ceremony. Luke, you may begin." Clay stepped off to the side and out of sight.

Luke took one rose from the basket and held it between his thumb and forefinger, gently twirling it as he stood thinking.

"Before I begin, I want to take a moment to let you know I am as surprised by this as you are" He scanned the ragtag cast of contestants. "I'm not ready to do this. I'm not prepared to send four of you home. I haven't had the opportunity to get to know some of you as well as I wanted to" He made eye contact with each girl as he shared his feelings.

"As a quarterback, I'm used to making surprise decisions in a clutch, so that's what we're going to do here today. I don't mean to hurt anyone. Obviously you aren't ready either. If I had my way, I wouldn't send any of you home, but that's not an option. So let's get this over with."

Ashley was relieved he felt rushed. She might finally get her wish to go home. A twinge of regret fluttered in her gut, but it would be a relief to escape the constant vigil of the cameras catching her every bad move. She refused to believe the butterflies could have anything to do with Luke. After all, she wasn't interested in him.

He began calling names one by one. Kate. Cricket. Tami. Rachel. While the ecstatic four huddled to the side in quiet euphoria, Luke paused to look over the remaining six. Two would stay; four would go. Shelby was poised in her beach wrap, looking her gorgeous beauty queen self. Natural Meg stood calmly, surrounded with positive energy to guide his decision. Jenny the snuggler gazed cozily up at him as she batted her baby blues. Gwen trembled, eyes wide. Next to Ashley stood Liz, tall and beautiful. Ashley waited. Luke knew she didn't want him. He knew she didn't like him-at least, not very much. She held her breath.

Looking over the remaining six, Luke picked up another rose. "Ashley."

Her breath came out in a huge sigh. So that was it. She was in again. What was his problem? She stepped forward and accepted the rose.

"Thank you," she said, trying not to glare at him.

As she began to step away, he stopped her. "Wait" He reached up to her forehead to wipe something off. "You have Cheeto marks on your forehead. Orange isn't your color." A dimple appeared on his cheek.

"Great. Thanks" She was beyond embarrassed. This whole morning was a hideous experience.

Then Clay stepped up next to Luke. With all the seriousness he could muster, as though it were brain surgery or at least the final round of the Masters, he said, "And now for the last rose." Moron.

Luke gave the remaining women one last look and pushed his hand through his hair, giving it a disheveled look. He took a deep breath. "Jenny"

Ashley and Rachel quickly turned to Liz, who was in the reject group. Their overcrowded bedroom would feel empty without her. Liz looked disappointed, but not shattered. She gave them a reluctant wave goodbye and blew them a kiss after mouthing "Good luck! And call me!" Then she said her good-bye to Luke.

Gwen, on the other hand, was a mess. She did the ugly gulping-for-breath cry. Her normally porcelain face was red and splotchy with emotion. Luke hugged her as she sobbed, rubbing her back to calm her down. His shirt was all wet when she finally released him. Fortunately, there was no makeup to smear.

After Liz and the others left, the celebration party felt strange. Ashley was subdued as she tried to digest the events happening around her. The game was getting out-of-hand and she didn't know how to stop it. Why did Luke keep her here? This was the third rose ceremony, and they'd only shared one group date together. Granted, it included a stolen kiss that lifted her so high she could have flown off the chairlift. But it didn't mean anything. Heck, Liz had so much more going for her than Ashley did. Why did life make what you wanted so hard to get, while what you didn't want literally banged down your door? She had all but told him off. Okay, maybe she actually had told him off. She didn't want to waste any more time on this stupid show.

What was she going to do? She had no idea how to take charge of this out-of-control situation and make it work for her. She was stranded for at least another three days or so. Crud.

As Ashley carried empty glasses from their impromptu celebration into the kitchen, Rachel came up behind her.

"What are you doing?"

Having no idea what she was talking about, Ashley replied, "Clearing glasses out of the great room?"

Eyes narrowed, Rachel snarled, "That's not what I meant, and you know it. What's your game?" She stood, hands on hips. "You've been saying all along that he's not your type and you don't care that much about the show, and yet you keep manipulating your way through each stage"

Ashley moved to the sink and set down the glasses. Whoa, where's this coming from? She turned around and leaned against the sink.

"This was your plan from the beginning, wasn't it?" Rachel accused. "Everybody's got their game plan and yours was to play hard-to-get" She paced back and forth in front of Ashley, then stopped and pointed a finger in her face.

Ashley braced herself against the counter. She needed some leverage as she heard Rachel's accusations.

"You played Liz and me for a couple of fools. You walked in the door with a big story about tripping on the sidewalk and how embarrassed you were. Bull! You fell down in front of him so he'd have to notice you" She started pacing again. "You wanted to chum up to us so you could sail through more easily."

Ashley stepped away from the counter and reached out to Rachel. "I haven't done anything. He picked me. I didn't pick him."

"This is the first time I've ever been in love and you're trying to ruin it."

"Oh, Rach, don't say that" Ashley stepped forward. "You don't even know him. It's been less than two weeks. You think you're in love, but this is all artificial. It's not real."

Pulling away, Rachel argued back, "Yes, it is." Pain etched her face.

"Honey, I don't want to see you get hurt"

"I thought you were my friend, but you used me from the moment we met."

"No, I didn't."

Rachel took another step back. "Yes, you did, but it's over. He's not going to fall for you. What I feel is real, and nothing you do can change it. I feel it, and I know he does too"

Rachel turned and left the room, and Ashley stood dumbfounded and alone. Alone except for the cameraman lurking in the corner, filming the whole exchange. She hung her head in frustration.

Life just turned from bad to worse. She didn't know what to do or how to make it better. She hoped that Rachel would calm down and that they'd be able to talk it through later. Ashley left the kitchen and the despised camera behind. She moved through the great room and up to her bedroom. Tami leaned against the doorway with an evil gleam in her eyes. She had obviously overheard and was gloating at the discord between the two roommates.

When she reached their bedroom, Ashley saw the empty closet and the cleaned-off dressers. Rachel had packed up her belongings and moved in with one of the others. Ashley sat on her narrow bed and felt as desolate as the room looked. What had once been an overcrowded room filled with clothing and laughter was now just a vacant space with a lonely, hollow feeling.

She lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, too deflated to get cleaned up. The only good thing about the whole, sordid experience had been her friendships with Liz and Rachel, and now they were both gone.

How many times in life would she find herself misunderstood, alone, and miserable? Obviously too many.

She knew that she should quit the pity party, but the idea of jumping back into the thick of things with no emotional support felt all but impossible.

She needed to get off this horrible show.

Luke stood under the hot shower, steam filling the room, the walls pressing in around him. The hot water beat against his back, pounding in the memories of the morning. He couldn't stop thinking about the heartbroken looks on the faces of the women he'd sent home. It hurt.

The foggy air was suffocating. Why is this bugging me? I don't care about them. I've dumped women before. Maybe because it's on TV and the world will see it?

He leaned his arms against the glossy wall before him, resting his head against the cool marble as the stream of guilt continued to roll over him. Have I always hurt women this much? Is this my legacy? Why haven't I ever committed before?

This was supposed to be fun. It was crazy and chaotic, and the women were beautiful and entertaining. But here he was dumping someone every couple of days. The similarities to his life were only too clear. Why was he always dumping women?

This game was hitting a little too close to home, and he wasn't sure he even wanted to keep playing it, much less to win it.

"Mail call."

Ashley looked up from her comfortable chair on the back patio where she could see the turquoise colors of the ocean. She sat, legs curled beneath her, and read another of her trashy novels, this one with a barechested Viking on the cover. The catalpa tree threw off dappled shade and her ever-present can of diet cola sat on the table.

"Ashley, where are you?"

Jenny's squeals of excitement filtered back from the front of the mansion-date mail had arrived again.

"I'm coming." She uncurled herself from the chair. Time to join the chaos inside.

"Hurry up, Jenny's ripping the envelope open."

"Don't get your undies in a bundle, I'm on my way."

Ashley left the quiet peace of the patio to join the growing group in the great room. There was always excitement when date mail arrived. An unspoken competition existed among the ladies to be the one to find it and share the good fortune with the lucky date recipients. While Ashley couldn't care less about finding the mail, she was curious to know about the next big date and who it included.

With only six bachelorettes left, the stakes were high. Her strategy to play it quiet in order to get voted off had obviously failed. But as much as she needed to job hunt, she admitted she enjoyed the downtime. She read constantly, blasting through her books, sleeping late, and getting a little color while hanging out in the Southern California sun. And her being included in so few activities had kept the camera crews away from her most of the time. All in all, things had gone pretty well, which meant she was due for another date soon.

Jenny proudly waved the card in the air with a squeal. "It's a group golf date! And three get to go!"

"Who's going?" Tami demanded, her voice snippy. She took the card from Jenny. "Let me read it." She stood back to formally reveal the contents of the card.

A smug expression came over Tami's face, as if she'd known all along that she'd be picked. Her air of confidence and haughtiness always fascinated everyone. Rachel looked crushed. She turned her sullen face away from them and left the room.

Kate, however, seemed genuinely happy for Cricket, as was Ashley. Cricket was a pretty, quiet girl who always came off as a little shy but very sweet. Ashley liked what little she knew of her. She seemed smart and well-grounded underneath her model-like body and short, sassy hair.