Love Finds You in Last Chance, California (39 page)

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Authors: Miralee Ferrell

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Justin settled his arm back around Alex’s shoulders and drew her close. “Let’s go get Toby and take him home.”

Alex put her arm across his chest and hugged him. “I wasn’t sure I’d ever get another chance to see you or care for Toby. I’m so thankful God gave me one last chance.” She gave another squeeze then slipped her hand through his arm. “I’m ready to go home.”

Chapter Thirty-five

Alex sat in a wingback chair in her office with her chin resting on her hands, her eyes locked on Uncle Joe’s somber ones.

“There’s something I hope you’ll tell me.”

“Uh-huh.” He took a step and sank into the adjoining chair. “You want to know if the sheriff learned any more about your father’s death.”

“Yes.” She clasped her hands in her lap. “I’m almost afraid to hear, but I need to know the truth.”

He stroked his gray mustache and nodded. “Only right. Davis said Carter shot at your pa that day on his way to town. Didn’t hit him, but it spooked his horse and threw him. The fall must’a triggered his heart givin’ out. Carter came back later and found the gold your pa tried to hide.”

Alex dropped her head and bit her lip then raised steady eyes to Joe’s. “But why would Carter want to kill Papa?”

“He hoped to spook him into selling the ranch and leave the area by settin’ up a few ‘accidents.’ When Ben refused, Carter took a shot at him. Worked out even better for him when your pa died from what appeared to be natural causes.”

“But why? Carter’s father left him plenty of money, and he owned his ranch.”

“According to Clarence over at the bank, Carter’s been in trouble for a long time. His little gold mine petered out and his herd’s been dwindling. Mostly poor managin’, as well as gamblin’ and spendin’ money over at Auburn and Sacramento like there’s no tomorrow. Guess he thought hirin’ Tim might help him put the ranch back in the black but it was too late. The gold your papa found would’a saved him. Taking Ben out of the picture left you as the owner, and he figured he’d marry you and get the ranch and the gold.”

“Till Justin showed up.”

“Yeah. Justin and Toby. When you started carin’ for the boy, Carter used Toby to get to you. He had some of his men steal your horses; then he sent for Christy and blackmailed her into trying to drive Justin off.” He shook his head and grunted. “He’s a consarned idjit. He didn’t take into account that you’re a fighter and that Justin truly loved the boy, even if he wasn’t his blood-born son. Not to mention the two of you bein’ sweet on each other.”

“Christy told me that Molly named Toby after Carter—Carter Tobias Foster.” She gave a rueful smile. “That bothered me at first.”

Joe leaned forward and patted her hand. “I reckoned it might. How ’bout now?”

“I prayed about it, and God changed my mind. I love that little boy, and his family roots don’t matter. I realized I was guilty of the same type of attitude some of the women in Last Chance had about Christy—and me, for that matter.”

“Toby’s a wonderful boy and I reckon he’s goin’ to make you a right fine son, once you and Justin get things settled amongst yourselves.”

Alex felt the color rush to her cheeks. “Uncle Joe, Justin hasn’t asked me yet.”

“He will, darlin’, he will. And if he don’t hurry up and do it soon, then he’s not as bright as I thought.” He chuckled and pushed to his feet. “Bless you, my girl. I’m proud of you.”

Alex savored the feel of Justin’s arm around her as they sat on the porch swing after tucking Toby in bed. His arm tightened and she laid her head on his shoulder. “Did Uncle Joe tell you that Sheriff Ramsey discovered Papa’s leather pouch of gold hidden at Carter’s house?” It was hard for her to believe that the events of the previous week had even happened.

Justin nodded. “I’m glad. You’ll be able to pay off the bank.”

“I’m thankful for that, but I’m still angry about Carter stealing my geldings and selling them to the cavalry. From now on I’m branding my stock when they’re weaned, not right before they’re sold.”

“At least the cavalry’s giving you another chance, now that they know the truth.”

Alex sighed. “Yes. God’s been good to me.” She snuggled a little closer and entwined her fingers with his. “I still can’t believe this is real—having you and Toby here, knowing you care for me.”

A deep chuckle rumbled in his chest and vibrated into her ear. “I’m the one who’s having a hard time believing it. A beautiful woman like you with everything she needs, loving a man like me.”

“What do you mean, a man like you? I think you’re pretty special.”

He pulled away a few inches and reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. Serious brown eyes met her own. “But I’m bringing along a family—and I’ve been married before. Not to mention that I’ve not always lived an upstanding life. I should probably tell you…”

She sat up and slipped her hand over his mouth. “No. I don’t need to know anything about who you used to be. You’re a man who loves God, your son, and me. Those are the important things.”

He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and drew her head back down. “That I do.”

“There’s just one thing I’d like to know.”

“Sure. Anything.”

“Tell me about Molly. Did you love her a lot? Was it terribly hard for you when she died?”

She felt his chest heave, and he was quiet for a long moment. A feeling of panic nibbled at her heart, and she fought down the notion that Molly’s name stirred memories that gave him pause. Was it possible the love he’d had for his wife hadn’t been put to rest and might hang between them the rest of their lives?

“I’m ashamed to say that’s one of the things that’s been hard for me to forgive from my past.”

She struggled to sit up and look into his eyes in the soft light of the moon. “Forgive? Why?”

“Because I don’t think I ever really loved her. And when she died, I didn’t grieve. At least, not for us. I did for Toby, and for the life Molly wasted on drinking and poor choices, but not for myself.”

“Then why did you marry her?”

“I guess she was the first woman who really showed an interest in me. She must have known she was in a family way when she met me. I had a steady job, a little cabin, and a fairly good reputation. I’d only known her a couple of weeks when I asked her to marry me. I thought I was in love with her, but I think it was more the idea of a woman caring for me that drew me—and rescuing her from the pit she called a job. It didn’t take me long to figure out she didn’t love me, and my love began to die just a few weeks after our marriage.”

Alex sank back against Justin’s shoulder. “Poor Molly. Carter must have hurt her deeply.”

“He did. Now I understand that’s one of the reasons she started drinking. She believed he planned to marry her. When she realized he’d used her and left, she must have been so ashamed.”

“Did it get better when Toby came?”

“Not much. The baby’s needs were all that got her out of bed in the morning. She pushed me away—didn’t want me near her or the boy. Screamed at me if I tried to hold him.” He shook his head as the memories came crashing around him. “I didn’t know what to do. Offered to bring the doctor, but she told me no. I started working longer hours, thinking maybe my presence hurt her somehow.”

Alex nodded encouragement. “But it didn’t. She wasn’t mad at you for being a man, she was mad at herself for making a mistake with a man.”

Justin’s head jerked up. Why hadn’t he thought of it that way before? “You think so? I always figured…”

“Yes, I do. You figured she hated you because of what a man did to her. No.” Her voice was steady. “I think she couldn’t forgive herself.” She shook her head. “That’s sad. No one but God can fill that empty place in a person’s heart. You couldn’t have fixed Molly’s hurt. God could have helped her, if she’d given Him a chance.”

Justin’s arm tightened around Alex’s shoulders. “Then why didn’t He? Why didn’t He keep her alive for Toby’s sake?”

“It doesn’t work that way. God doesn’t make us do things—we aren’t puppets in a traveling show, dancing whenever the master pulls the strings. God wants us to make good choices, but He won’t force us. It’s sad that no one helped her to see God’s love and care for her life. She only saw the darkness and despair that came with her poor choices.”

“And I did nothing to make it better, other than pour out her booze and scold her for the way she was living.”

“Justin, you didn’t make her choices for her. You might’ve helped point her to God, if you’d had a close walk with Him at the time. But you couldn’t take her pain away or fix her. God gave her a way of escape through Jesus, but she had to accept Him.”

Justin drew in a deep breath and slowly let it slide out through his parted lips. “I know that much. Ma loved God with her whole heart and raised me to believe in Him. I’ve drifted away over the years and grown hard inside. Molly knew the truth, too, but she couldn’t accept it. She talked about it one time. Said she knew Jesus came to forgive sinners, but she didn’t think He’d want her in heaven. Said she’d done bad things and didn’t believe the preacher knew what he was talking about when he promised forgiveness to anyone who’d ask.”

“It’s so sad when anyone turns their back on the free gift God gave us through His Son, but it happens every day.” Alex wrapped her arm across his chest and hugged. “I’m sorry—for your pain, and for hers. I had no idea.”

Justin stroked her hair and laid his cheek against her head. “I know. I should’ve told you sooner, but it never seemed like the right time. Besides, I didn’t think you were interested in me, so it wouldn’t have mattered.”

“Weren’t interested? Did you happen to see the jealousy on my face when you walked off arm in arm with Lacey at the picnic?”

It was his turn to stare. “You were jealous of little Lacey? But you were having a good time visiting with Carter. After he called on you at the ranch then joined us at the picnic, I assumed….” His voice trailed off, and he shook his head. “Guess that’s what we both get for assuming. That reminds me. I assumed a lot about Christy, but I still don’t understand what hold Foster had over her.”

Alex nodded. “It all centered around Toby. A few months after the boy was born, Carter befriended Christy—probably because he had been keeping tabs on Molly and figured Christy would be a good source of information. Christy was in a hard spot and needed money, and Carter gave her what she needed, convincing her he just wanted to help. He started asking questions about Molly and Toby, and she answered them.” Alex sighed. “Poor Christy. After Molly’s death, Carter told Christy she’d better do what he wanted, or he’d take Toby and she’d never see him again. Between that threat and the hold he had over her from the money she’d taken, she believed she didn’t have a choice—even when it came to trying to take Toby from you.”

“But that was playing into Foster’s hands. If she’d taken Toby from me, who knows what Foster would have done with him?”

“She thought she could take Toby and disappear. Now she realizes that she wasn’t thinking clearly—that Carter would have hunted her down. It’s just a blessing that God intervened and saved Toby—and the rest of us—from that man.”

Justin laced his fingers through hers and stroked the side of her hand with his thumb. “One more question?”

She tipped her head and smiled.

“Are you at all curious about the gold your father found? Will you and Joe hunt for it?”

Alex took a moment to think and then replied, “I don’t think so. Having you, Toby, Martha, and Uncle Joe safe is what matters the most. Maybe someday if we need it…I suppose it will still be there, but right now it doesn’t seem important.” She squeezed his fingers and smiled up into his eyes. “That’s settled, so what comes next?”

He sat bolt upright and a strange look flitted across his face—part consternation, part anticipation. He tenderly stroked the side of her face before slipping off the porch swing and dropping down on his knees in front of her. One hand reached out to grasp hers, and the other covered his heart.

Alex smiled when her eyes met his. Such intense love radiated from the brown depths. Her smile faded and her heartbeat quickened as she felt herself drawn into that gaze.

“Alexia Travers, I love you more than words can express. God brought us back to Himself and then brought us together. I can’t imagine life without Him or you. More than anything, I want a marriage that centers on God. You are the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Would you do me the honor of agreeing to become my wife?”

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