Authors: Penny Richards
He returned to the present, feeling her eyes on him. She stared at him boldly. When he returned her intent look he expected her to turn away. But she surprised him. She always did.
He had come to realize that her independent practicality was a natural extension of her intelligent and caring nature. But she had also been daring when she needed to be, as in her actions at the orphanage. But those times had been in private, just between them. Today she was in a public church with the entire
ton
watching, and she boldly wore the jewels as a message to him. He wished he knew what that message was, but he decided he very much liked this new side to her. Their life together would be a great adventure,
if
they had a life together.
He realized he was not paying attention to the pomp and circumstance going on around him. He was glad Dennis and Lydia only had eyes for each other. The ceremony finally ended and the guests near the front gathered round the couple in congratulations, effectively cutting off any avenue for him to reach Grace on the other side.
Still standing on the altar, he noticed her move to the back of the church with her aunt. They were more than likely to hurrying back to Berkeley Square to finalize preparations for the wedding breakfast. He knew he would not get to her through the crowd before her departure, so he would wait on tenterhooks, knowing that at the house he could get the answers to his questions. He relaxed. Was this the peace he had prayed for? Could it happen so quickly?
He felt a tugging of his left arm and turned to find Lady and Charlotte Marchmont at his side. “It seems, my lord, you and Lady Grace have not been able to make up your minds since the night at the Blue Swan Inn,” she said, in a falsely demure manner, yet loudly enough to catch the notice of those around them. “We thought the engagement was over, but the lady was certainly bedecked with the Weston emeralds. What can it mean?”
He lifted her hand from his arm, knowing many heads and ears were turned his way. He lightly kissed the hand before he dropped it. “Must I be blamed, Lady Charlotte, if gossip cannot keep up? I believe I have the power to give anyone of my choosing the right to wear the emeralds.”
He turned and walked away, and prayed to God that Grace's wearing of the emeralds was a good sign. But at least the last part of his comment would go a long way in explaining to the crowd at large why she wore them, if it was not to take him back.
Please, God
, he prayed,
let Max have worked his influence on her one more time.
* * *
Grace waited for Lydia in the drawing room back at Berkeley Square. When she and Lord Hendricks arrived, they embraced with feelings of joy. Lydia looked happier than any bride Grace had ever seen and Lord Hendricks positively preened with pride and love.
“Well, my lady,” Grace teased as she winked at her sister, “how does it feel to be well and truly married?”
Lydia smiled broadly and turned red. “It feels wonderful so far!”
Grace walked over to Lord Hendricks and rose on her toes to kiss his cheek. “You will take good care of her, won't you, my lord?” Grace whispered into his ear through tears of joy.
“We are brother and sister now, Grace. No more lords and ladies, remember?” He took both her hands and kissed them, whispering, “I will protect her with my life. I will cherish her gentle and quiet spirit, and I will love her forever. Is that enough?”
“It is enough,” Grace answered as the tears that had pooled in her eyes began running down her cheeks.
“Then, my darling husband,” Lydia broke in, “do you mind if I have a few words with my sister before she is lost to me in a crowd of guests?”
“I do not mind. Indeed I expect your sister wishes the same. So I will go, but not for long!” He went to the door, but before he opened it, he turned back to them. “The emeralds look smashing, Grace, and I hope they mean what I think they mean. He truly does deserve your love, though he may think he does not.” With that he left the room.
Grace fought her blushing countenance by remonstrating with her sister. “Lydia, you go right back out there, grab him by the arm and enjoy your wedding day! We had such a lovely coze last night.”
“No, Grace. I did not say everything I wanted to say.” It was her turn to blush. “
And
I did not know then what you planned to do today!” She pulled Grace down on the sofa with her and dropped her head, speaking in a serious tone of voice. “I need to apologize to you, Grace. All of my life I have been so jealous of you.”
Grace stared in astonishment. “
You
have been jealous of
me?
”
“Yes. You are so smart and practical, as well as lovely. Everyone looks up to you, and I hoped that when I came to London I might outshine you a little.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I am the most horrible of sisters.”
Grace pulled her into an embrace and held on tightly. “Lydia, darling, do you think I have never been envious of you? Our faces were not of our choosing. I never envied your beauty, but you are so gentle and kind. You love everyone you meet and they love you.” She sat back again and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “I am so happy that everything has turned out as it has for you. Dennis is just the man for you and you are just the woman for him. God has answered our prayers in the loveliest way.”
“But Grace, now I see how stupid jealousy and pride are. You gave up your pride today to do the right thing for you and Lord Weston. I want you to have an answer to
our
prayers about him. I want us to share our lives fully from now on.”
Grace was quiet for a moment, then said seriously, “Lydia, I am afraid my managing tendencies took over when Mother passed away, and I have not let you shine in any other way aside from your beauty. However, it seems marriage has helped you grow so far past those outward things.”
She sat up straighter. “And whether Brandon and I can make a future together has no bearing on how we conduct our lives as sisters. I love you and I am sharing your happiness in marriage fully. Indeed, I think it has brought us closer.” They hugged once again and Grace told her it was time to get out to her wedding breakfast.
“There is one more thing I need to ask of you, Grace. May I tell Dennis the truth about you and Lord Weston while we are away? I do not think I want to keep secrets from him. You know he will not tell anyone.” Lydia seemed to be pleading. Had Grace been so domineering?
“Oh, Lydia, of course you may. Dennis is my brother now and I would not want you to keep secrets from him, either. Indeed, I insist you tell him so he knows you trust him with all your heart.”
Grace was pierced to her core. She trusted Brandon with all her heart, but did he know it? Perhaps all his anger at the orphanage and the dock was not because he feared for her safety but because he thought she did not trust him? She had made such a muddle of things from the start. Had he not told her to trust him with their charade in London? Yet she had given up on him that very first week, only seeing her own fears.
“Grace?”
“I am sorry, I remembered something I must be sure and tell Brandon if I get the chance.”
“Do you think the emeralds worked? Do you think Lord Weston noticed?”
“I suppose time will tell. But that is nothing to you. I can hear your guests arriving and you must be standing beside Dennis to greet them.” They walked out of the room with their arms around each other's waist, and Grace whispered, “You will write to me while you are gone and tell me all about Greece, will you not? And come down to the Abbey as soon as you get back? I shall miss you terribly.”
Lydia did not have time to answer before she was whisked away by friends, but she nodded over her shoulder and smiled her brightest.
Suddenly Grace felt completely alone. She knew she had several hours of mingling to do, but was almost too paralyzed to move for fear of seeing Brandon, for fear of seeing anyone who would ask the same question of herâwas she reconciled to him?
She was sure Brandon had noticed the emeralds, but whether the gesture meant anything to him or not, she did not know. Truth be told, she was afraid he might be angry rather than pleased or curious. Suppose he was still with Lady Winslow; or worse, what if he had already moved on to someone else, and she did him harm by wearing them? Why had she done something so outrageous?
The sound of Lady Charlotte's voice caused Grace real fright. She would rather have run into Brandon than the woman who had caused the problem from the beginning. She knew Lady Charlotte would delight in bringing her down a peg or two.
“Why, Lady Grace, you must tell me, as we are all agog.” Her voice carried as she intended, and heads began to turn their way. “Did Lord Weston lend you his emeralds for the wedding or is the betrothal on once again?”
Grace wanted to run and hide. Instead, she turned her thoughts in another direction. “Lady Charlotte, what a pleasure to see you. Today is my sister's day. My comings and goings are of no consequence.”
The lady rapped Grace's arm with her fan. “Oh, we will not be fobbed off so easily. Where is dear Weston, anyway? Never say he is not coming to the breakfast!”
“Oh, she would never say that,” drawled Brandon from behind them, making them both jump.
Chapter Nineteen
“G
race, Lydia asked me to escort you to the table to join the others.” He held out his arm and she placed her hand through it, instead of resting it atop his. To Charlotte he said, “Excuse us, my lady, I believe you and your mother are to be seated in the smaller dining room. Quite an honor.”
As nervous as she was, Grace could not help but laugh at his set-down. She whispered, “Lord Weston, you know very well everyone is seated in the same room!”
He did not look at her. “We are back to Lord Weston again, are we?”
She blushed. “My father always used my most formal name whenever I had done something wrong. It was just habit.”
“He obviously did not use it enough.”
She choked on a gurgle of laughter. “Thank you for rescuing me, by the by. I do not think even Max could have done it better.” That slipped out before she thought, and she turned bright red and stumbled.
“That does it, Grace,” he whispered. “Forget the breakfast. You and I are going to the library. We have much to say.”
She hoped it was not to give her a final snub as he had Lady Charlotte. But she knew now was not the time. “You know I cannot leave in the middle of my sister's wedding breakfast, especially with you. This is her day and I want her to be the center of attention.” She tried to pull her arm away.
“You should have thought of that
before
you wore the emeralds.” He kept her hand in the crook of his arm and nodded at the people headed in the opposite direction. When they reached the library, he opened the door, let her step in before him and then closed it, leaning back against it with his arms crossed over his chest.
No escape that way,
she thought. Did she want to escape?
He stared at her until she could not look at him anymore. She knew she should speak first; after all, she had worn the emeralds. But suddenly she had no idea where to start.
“You look beautiful today,” he said casually. “Quite put Lydia to the pale.”
She smiled. How like him to be so calm when she was so nervous.
“Grace, it is time,” he said, not moving from the door. “You wore those jewels for a purpose today and I would like to know why. I
need
to know why.” His eyes were steely.
The last words scared her. Was his need to know necessary for him to determine how to get them back? “There are several reasons I wore them, Brandon,” she said, looking down at her hands and speaking in a low tone. “But first and foremost, as an apology.”
“An apology?”
“Several apologies, in fact.” How would she get all her feelings through to him?
“When we rode home in the carriage after the blackmail attempt, you were so angry you would not let me explain. I felt helpless. Helpless to reach you, helpless to warn you, just helpless. Then I realized that by not letting
you
explain, and leaving for the Abbey without giving you that chance, I must have made you feel the same way, and I wanted you to know how sorry I am for that.” She was on the verge of breaking down and would become a watering pot if he did not say something soon.
“I tried to write it to you,” she lamented, “several times. But the words never came out right. Not that they are now, of course, but I hoped the emeralds would make you at least talk to me so I could apologize.”
He still looked at her intently, but finally he spoke. “Certainly, that is the least they have done. Understatement has always been your forte.”
She smiled at the many times he had accused her of that in their short time together.
“What is it, my sweet life, that you did not let me explain? It seems I am a perfect blockhead.”
My sweet life.
She'd thought never to hear those words again. But she must not give them more weight than he meant.
“I saw you with Lady Winslow,” she said, with a new calmness.
“You saw me with... What... When?”
“At the Hilliards' ball. You had stopped speaking to me after the night at the dock. I know I made you very angry, and you would not let me explain.”
“Grace, I was angry because I was afraid you did not...that I would say something I regretted.”
It was the opening she had been waiting for. “Before we go any further, I want to tell you something I believe I learned today. Why did you get so angry at me for going to the orphanage and for not telling you about the blackmail?”
“I thought
you
learned something you were going to tell
me.
”
She smiled at him. “I did, I haveâI
think.
” Botheration, he was not going to make anything easy today. “
I
believed, prior to today, that the reason you got so angry was because I kept putting myself in danger and you felt responsible for me while I was in London.”
“That is
one
of the reasons I was angry, and hurt, by the by. But not
the
reason.”
She heaved a sigh of relief. She
had
misunderstood all along. Yet she was not on sure footing yet. “I realized today, and I should have known it all along, I suppose, that you believed I did not trust you, because I acted alone rather than relying on your assistance.”
She had to go on before anything else was said. No matter the final outcome of this interview, she wanted him to know the truth. “I have always trusted you. As far back to the day we met, actually. Do you think I would have considered such an option as we chose with someone I did not trust? And then at the orphanage, and again at the docks, I could have jumped for joy when I heard your voice because I knew I was safe with you. I am so sorry if I made you feel like I did not trust you. You are the most trustworthy man I have ever met.”
“How did you make this discovery, Grace?”
“I told Lydia I wanted her to tell Dennis about us, recount our story from the beginning. I told her she must always be honest with him so he would know she trusted him with all of her heart.”
She bowed her head. “I do not think I ever once said that to you, and I am so very sorry.”
“Grace,” he said, and then started toward her.
She held up her hand to stop him. “No, Brandon, you must let me finish.” She walked to a window. “That night when we rode home from the dock in silence, I did not know it was a trust issue. I only knew you were angry at me for breaking my promise, and you would not let me explain.”
She turned back to face him. “But two days later I saw you kissing Lady Winslow. You knew that she was the one who... She... Oh, it matters not. I left the ball and went home.”
He was beginning to scowl. She remembered how fierce she'd thought him the first time she had seen it at the Blue Swan. He was no less intimidating now. “I assumed you had set her up as one of your flirts, and I ran away. I am sorry.”
* * *
“One of my flirts?” he shouted.
“Shh! Do you want all the wedding guests upon us?”
“Grace...” He drawled out her name very slowly. “Are you telling me this entire fiasco is because you saw Patrice Winslow kiss me?”
“Of course not.” He could see the wheels in her mind turning, and could not wait for her explanation. If he wasn't so frustrated from the prior two weeks, he might actually be enjoying this. “It
was
quite a shock! But...but we had planned to end the engagement in any event.”
“Grace, you can misconstrue situations more easily than anyone I ever met.” Suddenly, he started to laugh. “We stand here today because, while listening through walls, you thought I needed rescuing.”
“Are you going to throw that in my face again?” she asked, and her pout was priceless to him.
He took one step toward her. “Grace,” he said very low and very seriously, “I
did
need rescuing.”
Her eyes grew large, and he could not show her how he felt until he knew her feelings.
She stood still as a statue and he asked, “Are you now offering me a chance to explain my actions that night at the Hilliards'? So you may decide whether I am redeemable or not?”
“No!” she responded vehemently. “Never say that to me! Past redemption? You know what I believe and what I have been telling you. We are all under God's grace for our past, should we choose to accept it.” More quietly she said, “Brandon, you owe me no explanation about Lady Winslow. I only wish to apologize for not allowing you to explain
what I saw.
If my departure hurt you as much as the kiss hurt me that night, I am very sorry.”
She never ceased to amaze him! He truly believed she would let him off without an explanation; she had seen him kissing a woman who had threatened her life! Was it because of the trust she'd talked about earlier? Did she trust that he would never hurt her in such a way? Or was she just letting him off the hook because their relationship was at an end?
“Though you say I do not need to explain, it is imperative to me that I do so.” He stared at her intensely. “I spent days verifying the crimes she committed against you and me. I got the full details from the little weasel who tortured you. I got information from your father about precise discussions they had. Did he not tell you I had spoken to him?”
At the shake of her head he ran his hands through his hair. “That night, at the Hilliards' ball, I confronted her. She swore she had no knowledge of what had happened until I explained that I knew her plan down to the smallest detail. Once cornered, she changed tactics and said she did it out of love for me. I was perfectly disgusted. She threw her arms around my neck and kissed me before I knew what was happening. Had you remained watching, you would have seen me push her away an instant later. I promise you, Grace, we will never be seeing her again.”
She listened to his explanation, staring at him with her hands folded in front of her. He completely lost all train of thought as he realized she carried no flowers and wore no gloves. He looked at her third finger with hope in his heart.
The ring was not there.
He went to the fireplace and leaned back against it. Was this truly only to have an audience alone with him one last time?
God, I want to be worthy of her. I want the grace she says abounds from You. Help me to keep her and learn more about You from her.
“Does that clear up your uncertainty?”
“It was never necessary, Brandon.”
“You said there were several reasons why you wore the emeralds. May I ask the others?”
“Yes. I also wanted to say thank-you.” She came closer to him, to stand face-to-face, seeming to implore him with her beautiful jade eyes to understand. “I tried to write this, too, but there were so many things to thank you for, it all sounded jumbled.”
“Do you think that is what I want, your thanks?”
“Perhaps not, but it is what you need.” Her answer startled him. “I forced my way into your affairs without cause, and
you
rescued
me
without complaint. You had to be someone else to your family and friends, and you were tied to me instead of your normal pursuits.” Her eyes welled up and he wanted to hold her so badly. “You put your own life in danger for mine, not once, but twice, all the while saving lonely, hungry children all over London.” She blinked and tears rolled silently down both cheeks. She was driving him mad. Did she care about him? Why couldn't one of the things she wanted to say be “I love you?”
“Then you sent Max to me. No, it was more than thatâit was that you understood about Max. You know I have always been practical and managing. People count on me to take care of things. When I was little, I used to wish someone like Max would come along, see me as his lady and whisk me off, to take care of
me.
Of course, I grew out of childhood fancies, and I have come to the conclusion that I do like being practical. But Max has always had a special place in my heart, the potential of what I have always hoped for, and you recognized that.” She swiped the tears from her cheeks and smiled. “I am not sure how, but you did. And he is in a very special place in the Abbey. I should have taken him there years ago.”
She shook her head as if to let go of those thoughts. “For all these things I need to thank you. So much could have gone horribly wrong since that first day, but because of you, we are celebrating a wedding today. Thank you, Brandon.”
He left the fireplace and walked to her until he stood directly in front of her. She lowered her eyes, and when he put his finger under her chin to lift them back up, they were filled with fresh tears. Why did she cry?
He looked into her searching eyes, put his hands on her shoulders and slowly ran them down her arms to take her hands. “You said there were several reasons you wore the emeralds today. Are there any more, Grace?” he asked softly.
“Do you not think those enough, my lord?” she whispered, still staring into his eyes.
“No, my sweet life, there is much more I would like to hear.”
He pulled her hands into fists up against his chest. “I am glad to hear you say that you trust me with all your heart. No one else ever has.” He was moved as she brought up their entwined hands so she could caress his cheek. She stared at him in sorrow and...something else.
“Brandon, you told me that night that you would never trust me again.” It seemed she could not look him in the eyes, for she lowered her head. He raised it again.
“Grace, I want you to understand this. The things I said in the carriage that night seem to be the impetus for all our troubles. Do you think that we can forget the words we said? I would trust you with my life and more. Please believe me.”
She nodded, tears pooled in her searching eyes.
“But I do not make light of that night in the carriage. I was angry and it was at the thought of losing you.”
She nodded again in understanding.
“I also want to hear that I did not need to explain,” he continued, “not because I do not owe you an explanation, but because you cannot possibly believe that after you, there could ever be anything between me and Patrice Winslow.”