Authors: Debra Clopton
He glanced over Phillip's résumé, and they chatted for several minutes about mountain climbing, fishing and such things. After a while, Chuck suggested that he might have some “contract work” for Phillip in the future. They shook hands and parted, each fully aware that they had adequately taken the other's measure. Phillip was not cut out for a job with Sellers Financial Services, but because he had the necessary skills and was Asher's brother, Chuck would throw him whatever work he could when he could, just not now.
Phillip's relief was palpable. As much as he acknowledged the need for a job, he thanked God that this particular situation had not panned out. Wandering over to his brother's law office to inform him how the meeting had gone, he found Asher and his assistant fooling around with a smartphone app that they had purchased to facilitate the recording of depositions.
“You have no idea what a leap forward in technology this is,” Asher declared, sitting back to film himself.
“You know what would be really sweet?” said the young man currently clerking for Asher. “An app that would telecast live transmissions of court proceedings into classrooms. Think about it. You could sell subscriptions based on field of study, torts, criminal law and so on.”
“Think about the obstacles and permissions,” Asher replied doubtfully.
“There would be some courts where it would be okay. Enough, I bet. Besides,” argued the clerk, “these so-called
reality apps
are where it's at these days, just like reality TV. Of course, the episodes could always be archived, too. You could build a whole reference library.”
Asher considered. “It could work.” He shook his head. “But we don't know anything about technology.”
“Or anyone who knows anything about technology,” his assistant opined.
“I do,” Phillip heard himself say.
Both gazes turned his way. “Someone in Seattle?” Asher asked, shifting in his seat.
“Uh, no,” Phillip muttered. “She's here.”
“Really?” Asher smiled, the light of speculation in his eyes. “Maybe you could ask
her
what she thinks about our idea.”
“Maybe,” Phillip murmured, his mind whirring with another possibility.
He recalled watching a video of a friend's climb on his own phone a few months ago and thinking how exciting it would have been if it had been live. He wondered if such a thing was possible. Carissa would know. It occurred to him that a live feed might have made it possible for help to reach his coworkers' party in time to save at least one or two of the climbers in that fall, and the realization shook him. Maybe it wouldn't have helped, but it could save someone in the future.
“Let me ask you a question,” he said to his brother. One question turned to ten as they probed the legalities of Phillip's proposal.
Phillip felt an excitement growing in him that he hadn't felt in a very long time, but he banked it. For one thing, he couldn't be sure of the viability of the idea. For another, something like this required careful planning and study. He saw no point in getting his hopes up until he'd done some solid research and crunched some numbers.
Talk turned, as it often did with Asher these days, to Phillip's niece, Marie Ella. “Why don't you come over tonight and see her?” Asher suggested.
Phillip balked, as he had every other time he'd been invited to get to know his new niece. Children who could walk and talk were one thing; infants were something else entirely. Shamelessly, he pulled out the only excuse he could find.
“Actually, my grief support group meets tonight.”
Now that he thought about it, he really should attend tonight's meeting if only so he could urge Carissa to do the same. With her father's recent passing, how could she refuse to go? As predicted, Asher didn't argue.
“Well, I'm glad to see that my little brother isn't above getting some help when he needs it.”
Phillip just shrugged.
“Let's say Saturday night, then, shall we?” Asher went on. “I'll invite Dallas and Petra. We'll make it a real family gathering.”
What could Phillip do but chuckle and nod?
“Saturday it is,” Asher reiterated happily.
Sighing inwardly, Phillip consoled himself with the thought that he'd have tonight with Carissa.
* * *
It was ten against one. Carissa knew it even before Phillip spoke. He had chosen his moment and laid his plan well. She'd come downstairs to fetch the children out of the pool so they could wash off the chlorine before dinner. Hilda and Chester served cold drinks to Hypatia and Magnolia on the expansive redbrick patio behind the great house, while Kent and Odelia paddled around in the big rectangular pool. As soon as Carissa called to the children, Phillip showed up with his sister.
“Dallas can do that,” Phillip said, forestalling Carissa as she picked up the towels that the children had dropped at the edge of the patio. “I want to talk to you about tonight.” His tone sounded conversational, but his voice was loud enough that everyone could hear.
“What about tonight?” she asked, knowing full well what he was going to say.
“It's Thursday,” he pointed out, “grief support meeting night.”
She immediately demurred. “Oh, the children need me here.”
“No, no, I'll stay with them,” Dallas put in brightly.
“You should go, sugar,” Chester instantly urged, while Hilda nodded.
“Oh, do go, dear,” Hypatia implored, her sisters echoing her.
Even the children began to chant, bouncing up and down in the water at the edge of the pool. “Go! Go! Go!” Apparently, they believed that if she went with Phillip, they could continue to swim.
Carissa stood, the entire household against her, and frowned at her children. Then, resigned to her fate, she bent and picked up the towels, shaking them out one by one. It wasn't as if she'd be alone with Phillip, after all. They were going to a meeting. The children began reluctantly wading from the pool. Dallas caught the towels and carried them to the kids, talking brightly about the evening she had planned for them.
Carissa looked over to Hypatia, who sat swathed in a thick terry-cloth robe, her feet encased in pristine canvas slippers. A wide-brimmed straw hat perched atop her head, and large, dark sunshades shielded her face. Magnolia, on the other hand, had prepared for an afternoon poolside by simply trading her muck boots for a pair of sandals.
Neither Kent nor Odelia was so circumspect. He sported a bright Hawaiian print shirt and flip-flops with his dark, knee-length swim trunks, while she wore a fluttery multihued cover-up of organza petals over a bright pink tankini with skirt and surplice top. Her swim cap resembled a pink turban wrapped around an artichoke, which pretty much described her oversize earrings, necklace and bracelet, all of which she wore into the pool. Thankfully, she'd left the pink, kitten-heel, open-toed mules poolside, along with a fluffy green towel.
“Phillip,” Odelia called, “maybe you'd like a swim before dinner.”
Carissa looked at his suit, rumpled now from a full day of wear, and the heavy shadow of his beard. Why did he have to be so very attractive?
“Maybe I will,” he said with a blindingly white smile, which he then turned on Carissa. “What about you? Got time for a dip? Dallas will take care of the kids.”
Suddenly, Carissa wanted nothing so much as to dive headlong into that cool, aqua-blue water with him, which was exactly why she dared not do it.
“No way,” she said. “Even with your sister's help, it'll take some doing to get all three of the kids showered and dressed in time for dinner.”
“Perhaps you'll join us in the dining room this evening,” Hypatia invited, but Carissa put her off.
“Oh, I intend to put the kids straight into their pajamas,” Carissa told her. “We'd best eat in our rooms again. But thank you. Another time.”
“All right, then.”
Dallas herded the children toward the house, Grace holding her hand and chattering happily. Carissa started after them, only to find herself stopped by Phillip's hand on her wrist.
“Be ready about a quarter of seven.” She noted that he didn't ask; rather, he
told
her. Short of making a scene, she saw no option other than to swallow her indignation and go along with him. She gave him a curt nod and pulled away, hurrying after her children.
Behind her, she heard Hilda say quietly that the meeting would be good for her after Marshall's death. Tears sprang to Carissa's eyes, equal parts grief, frustration, anger and gratitude because she knew that these people had her best interests at heart. It wasn't their fault that she'd developed an unhealthy fascination for the wrong man.
Suddenly, she missed her dad so badly that she ached. If only he were still here, then she wouldn't be in this situation, living in the same house as Phillip Chatam. Then maybe she could keep her heart whole.
Chapter Eight
T
he ache stayed with her as she shepherded the children through showers and got them into pajamas. Dallas helped, primarily with Grace, who treated Phillip's sister like her new best friend, which turned out not to be too far from the truth, as Carissa discovered when Dallas left to eat dinner with her family downstairs.
“'Bye, bffn!” Grace called after her.
Laughing, Dallas waved and blew her a kiss on her way out the door.
“What is this bffn?” Carissa demanded, parking her hands at her waist.
Grace just shrugged, smiling enigmatically, but Tucker supplied the answer. “Best friend for now.”
Carissa spread her hands in confusion. “What does that mean, best friend
for now?
”
“It's just till you and Phillipâ”
Nathan abruptly launched himself at his brother, fists flying. “You take that back!”
The boys rolled across the floor, pummeling each other. Grace instantly burst into noisy tears. By the time Carissa separated the boys and sent off everyone to bed in sulky shame, the bell was ringing to let her know that a delivery waited in the dumbwaiter. Thoroughly exasperated, Carissa stomped off to fetch the heavy tray. She laid out the meal, trying to make sense of what had just happened. She suspected that Phillip was somehow to blame, but when she tried to question the children over dinner, they all clammed up. Dallas came back up later, so Carissa applied to her for an explanation.
“I'm afraid it's all my fault,” she said apologetically. “You know how kids are about that âbest friends forever' thing. I try to avoid that in my classroom with âbest friends for now' because, you know, things change. Kids move. Relationships shift.”
“I see.” That seemed reasonable.
Smiling, Carissa glanced at the clock on the mantel and saw that she had fewer than ten minutes to get dressed. Or she could just refuse to go to the meeting after all. Without really deciding either way, she headed for the bedroom and quickly threw on a simple sleeveless khaki dress that buttoned up the front, then she stepped into white sandals. She splashed water on her face, took down her hair and brushed it, dabbed on some lip gloss and shoved a white headband into place. That would have to do.
Hurrying back into the sitting room, she found Dallas stacking the dinner dishes on the tray. Carissa went to help her, but Phillip tapped on the door before they had finished. Wiping her hands on a linen napkin, Carissa directed the children to help Dallas with the cleanup then grabbed her handbag and hurried out.
“You look nice,” he told her. He had shaved and put on jeans and a light blue button-up shirt. “I especially like your hair.”
Her hand went immediately to the long, shaggy strands that hung down her back. She rarely wore her hair down because she hadn't had time or money to see a stylist in far too many months. It needed a good trim and shaping. But such things were luxuries that she could no longer afford. Still, he seemed sincere. She remembered, belatedly, to thank him.
His hand hovered around the small of her back as they descended the grand staircase. That made her nervous because this suddenly felt too much like a date. She didn't know why she'd come with him anymore. Was it because everyone expected it of her, for the grief support meeting or because, despite everything, she
wanted
this to be a date? She very much feared it was the latter.
She must be insane. He had told her,
warned
her that he wasn't in the market for a ready-made family. He'd stated bluntly that he wasn't the man for her. He had
apologized
for kissing her, and still she found herself attracted to him. For that reason alone, she had no business going anywhere with him. She started to pray silently. She'd been doing that more and more lately.
Lord, don't let me make a fool of myself
.
I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I need You to guide me.
They reached the foyer and crossed the floor. Phillip opened the door. He smiled down at her, and she walked through it, out onto the porch. The evening heat enveloped her. Phillip followed and shut the door closed behind them. Side by side, they walked down the steps and along the walkway to his vehicle. He helped her into the car and went around to get in behind the steering wheel.
They reached the church within minutes and were greeted warmly by the rest of the group. What shocked Carissa most, however, was how easily she found herself being drawn into the discussion.
“In one way, it was a relief,” she said about her father's death. “He had suffered so much. In another, purely selfish way, I can't help missing him. The one person I always knew I could count on was my dad.” Phillip's hand squeezed hers tightly. Funny, she hadn't even realized they were holding hands until that moment. She dabbed at her tears with a tissue that someone passed to her and smiled. “Dad wasn't very demonstrative. Hugs and kisses embarrassed him, but I knew how he felt.”
“And he knew how you felt,” Phillip assured her quietly.
After a while, talk turned to two women who had lost their husbands in the same auto accident. Their husbands hadn't known each other, but the women had become fast friends, united by their mutual loss.
“The funny thing is how much they had in common,” one of them divulged.
“And how much we have in common,” the other added.
“One of my friends who died was married,” Phillip said. “His wife is a climber. She worked for the same company until she became pregnant with their first child. I used to joke that if I ever met anyone with whom I had so much in common as those two did, I'd marry her. Now all I think about is that she and their two kids were left alone. Mountain climbers are notoriously hard to insure, you know. I'm sure it's been tough for them.”
People hastened to assure him that they would have Social Security to draw on, but Carissa felt stung. Had he contemplated marriage at some point? Was that what he wanted, a woman who could climb mountains with him? She couldn't imagine taking such chances when she had her children to consider.
After the meeting, as they were walking back to the car, she casually expressed her condolences for his loss. “I didn't realize that your friends had families.”
Phillip nodded. “Everyone has a family. Just the one was married, though. No, that's not right. The client was married, too, and I understand he left his family very well provided for.”
Carissa swallowed a lump in her throat and nodded. “That's good.”
“I didn't really think about it until I met you, frankly.”
“Yeah, well, it's been harder for me than I realized it was going to be,” Carissa admitted. “Even after the first shock of it, you don't think it's going to change absolutely everything. But somehow it does.”
“I'm sure it does. How can it not?”
“I don't know. You just think you're going to keep things as normal as possible for your kids, only normal is never what it was, no matter what you do.”
They got into the car and started back toward Chatam House. Thankfully, Phillip changed the subject.
“What do you think about a live-feed phone app?”
Surprised, she queried him on the subject, and they discussed the matter on the drive back. Phillip asked some pointed questions, which Carissa answered as best she could, telling him what she thought it would take to make something like what he seemed to have in mind work.
“So we'd need some hardware as well as the software,” he realized. “Would that be terribly expensive?”
“Depends on your idea of expensive,” she hedged. “I really couldn't estimate it without doing some research.”
“Okay. So, are you too busy to do a little window-shopping tomorrow?”
She blinked at him. “You're serious about this?”
“I'm serious about looking into it.”
She shrugged. “Well, I'm working tomorrow, so I won't be free until after five.”
“Okay.” He parked the car in front of the house and killed the engine but made no move to get out. “Where do you think we should go? I don't usually shop for electronics.”
She tried to think what was available locally then warned him against buying in person without checking online first. They got into the subject of computers and clones versus name brands. She had no idea of how long they sat there and talked until she suddenly yawned.
“I'm so sorry.”
“No, I'm sorry,” he said, opening his car door. “I've kept you up too lateâyou and Dallas both.”
She checked her wristwatch and was stunned to see it was almost eleven.
“Oh, my!”
They hurried inside to find Dallas snoozing on the sofa in the master-suite sitting room. She sat up groggily when they came in, reported that the children had been perfect darlings, which Carissa doubted, waved off Carissa's effusive thanks and trudged out onto the landing. Phillip told Carissa good-night, promised to see her the next evening and followed his sister out. Carissa looked in on her sleeping children, turned off the lights and went to bed.
Her last thought was a repetition of her earlier prayer.
Lord, please don't let me make a fool of myself over that man.
She feared that was going to be more easily said than done, however.