Love Inspired March 2015 - Box Set 1 of 2: A Wife for Jacob\The Forest Ranger's Rescue\Alaskan Homecoming (51 page)

All you have to do is let me.
“Got it.”

She leaned forward into a deep arabesque, her left leg rising at an impossibly high angle. Liam kept a firm grip on her waist, steadying her, helping her balance. He could feel her heartbeat through the tips of his fingers, the quickening of her breath in his palms. She lowered her leg and began a series of rapid turns on one foot, spinning through his hands like a top. Round and round, so quickly that Liam lost count of the rotations. Once or twice she lost her center, but his grip quickly righted her, and she kept on going. And going. She didn't stop until the music came to an end.

Then it was over.

Melody and Ronnie burst into applause.

“See, that's how you do it,” Melody said. “It was perfect, simply perfect.”

“Not quite perfect,” Liam muttered, finally finding his voice after a minute or two of breathless confusion. What had just happened?

“Yes.” Posy nodded. For a moment, Liam could have sworn he saw tears glistening in her eyes. Then she blinked, and they were gone. “Yes, it was. Perfect. Thank you, Liam.”

Don't let go.

His hands felt painfully empty all of a sudden. “You're welcome.”

Chapter Sixteen

P
osy could scarcely believe it, but things had finally come together. The girls had memorized their dances, the venue was ready, the programs had been printed and the costumes altered by Kirimi at no charge. Even Ronnie had stepped up to the plate, and after the initial disastrous rehearsal, the pas de deux was presentable. It wasn't a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination, but it would work. Posy was sure of it. The audience would never expect to see a boy onstage, and she'd choreographed a rather grand entrance for him.

By all indications, everything was perfect, and not a moment too soon. The recital was in less than twenty-four hours.

No more dance classes, no more practice, no more rehearsals. They'd had the final dress rehearsal immediately following school. The only thing left to do was get a good night's sleep and show up at the church the next evening to caravan over to the community center where the recital was being held. She was beginning to believe that she could actually pull it off. And what was more, she thought they might even have a chance at winning the grant.

Then why did she have such an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach?

Because once the recital is finished, it's all over.

How had five and a half weeks gone by so quickly? She felt as if she'd just touched down on the frozen airstrip behind the Northern Lights Inn. Now she had only three days left until her audition back in San Francisco. The morning after the recital, she'd be sitting on an airplane headed back to her real life.

Real life.

She thought about her lonely apartment back in the city and how she'd never even gotten around to purchasing real plates and bowls since she was often too busy or too tired to cook. Take-out containers worked just fine. She thought about how she'd spent Christmas morning last year alone since she'd had to perform the
The Nutcracker
the night before, and once the show was over, it had been too late to catch a flight to Alaska. She thought about how company class was so quiet that she could hear the swish of each and every pair of ballet slippers as they whispered across the hardwood floor. Then she thought about the laughter of the girls in the youth group, and she thought about Liam and the way he'd spun her around the pond.

Suddenly she couldn't quite figure out which life was real and which one was only temporary.

Don't be ridiculous. You've got a shot at your dream job back in California. The chance to audition for a principal spot doesn't come along every day, or even every year.

Once this was all over, she'd go back to her real life. Everything would go back to the way it had been before. Everything. That included things with Liam. It had to.

Even so, she felt a vague sense of dread hanging in the air as she came home from dress rehearsal. The look on her mother's face when she greeted her in the foyer didn't help matters.

“Where have you been?” she asked. “Gabriel has called here for you three times in the past hour.”

“Rehearsal ran late. What do you mean Gabriel called?” There had to be a mistake. Why would Gabriel call her childhood home looking for her? He had her cell number.

Then again, she hadn't exactly been paying attention to her cell phone much lately. She hadn't had time. The recital had completely taken over her life.

“He said he found our number in your paperwork from when you first joined the company. And I have to say, Posy, he didn't sound happy. The
Firebird
auditions are tomorrow afternoon, and he said he still hasn't gotten confirmation of your arrival back in San Francisco.” Posy's mom threw her hands in the air. “Did you know about this?”

Panic blossomed in Posy's chest. She couldn't breathe all of a sudden. She needed to sit down. And apparently, she needed to do so in San Francisco, not her childhood living room in Alaska. “I don't understand. The last I heard, the auditions were scheduled for the twenty-fifth. This can't possibly be happening.”

God, please. This isn't real. It can't be.

It just can't.

* * *

When Liam's doorbell rang right as he was heading to bed, he worried something had happened to one of the kids from youth group. He was unable to think of anyone else who would even call him at that time of night, much less show up on his doorstep. The last person he expected to find on the other side of the door was Posy.

Yet there she stood.

With tears streaming down her face.

“Posy?” He swung the door open wider. “Come in, come in.”

She stepped over the threshold, but went no farther. She simply stood there in his entryway, hugging herself and looking as though the bottom had dropped out of her entire world.

Sundog climbed off the sofa and came running the moment he spotted Posy, greeting her in tail-wagging ecstasy. Whatever was wrong, Liam thought such an effusive welcome would cheer her up, even just a fraction. Posy and Sundog had become fast friends after the night Liam had danced with her at the pond. She'd even begun to teach the dog new tricks in addition to the
sit
command, which they'd pretty much perfected during Posy's moments of downtime at the church.

If anything, Sundog's delight upon seeing her only appeared to make her more upset. Liam wondered if something had happened to one of her parents. Or possibly Zoey or Anya. Whatever was wrong, he was glad she'd come to him, even if it felt wholly surreal to see her standing in his house.

It had been the final vestige, past or present. The only part of his life that had been untouched by Posy. She somehow managed to look both as if she belonged there and as if she wasn't actually standing there at all. A vision. A dream.

“Sit down. Please,” he said.

Sundog plopped into a sit position.

Liam shook his head. “Not you. Here.” He handed Sundog a rawhide chew that was sure to last less than five seconds and pointed toward his dog bed. “Go keep yourself busy.”

Sundog snatched the rawhide in his sizable jaws, strolled right past the dog bed and settled himself on the sofa. Naturally. At least he'd ceased gnawing on its cushions.

“Come all the way in and sit down, darling.” Liam reached for her hand and gave it a gentle tug.

She shook her head. “Don't. Please don't. Don't hold my hand, and don't call me darling. This is hard enough. Please don't make it harder by being so nice to me.”

He dropped her hand. He still didn't know what had gotten her so upset, but he had the distinct feeling that the bottom was about to drop out of
his
world. Not hers. “Posy, why are you here?”

She took a deep breath. “To say goodbye.”

He'd known this was coming. Not a moment went by in which he didn't think about her eventual departure. Every moment of the past five and a half weeks had felt like some sort of angst-ridden countdown.

But why now? She wasn't leaving for three more days. “Posy, let's not do this now. You're not ready. I'm not ready. There will be time for goodbyes.”

She wiped at her face. She'd stopped crying, and her expression had turned blank. Emotionless. She looked like a person who was pretending to be someone else. “No, you don't understand. My audition has been rescheduled. I'm leaving tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.” But that was impossible. “You can't leave tomorrow. The recital is tomorrow night.”

“I know. I hate to miss it, but everything is all set. I'm sure it will go off without a hitch...”

He held up a hand. “Stop. Don't, Posy. Think about what you're saying. You can't do this.”
Again.
It took every ounce of self-control he possessed not to say that ugly word. “You can't do this to those girls. They love you. It would break their hearts.”

“I don't have a choice. If I don't go, I'll miss the audition and there won't be another one. Maybe ever. This is my career we're talking about.”

Ballet, ballet, ballet.
Wasn't it what they were
always
talking about?

“But you're dancing
here
tomorrow night. Remember?” He didn't care why she stuck around for the recital, only that she did. He would hang her performance over her head if he had to. He'd get her to stay by whatever means necessary. After the recital, she could go to Timbuktu for all he cared. The girls would be heartbroken if she wasn't alongside them on that community-center stage.

“My variation isn't part of their recital. It's nothing. A tiny solo tacked onto the end. No one will miss me.” Her tongue tripped on her last sentence, as if even her physical body knew how profoundly untrue it was.

Everyone would miss her. Not just at the recital, but afterward, too. For days, weeks and months to come. Everyone. Even him.

Especially him.

“Posy...” He shook his head, unwilling, unable to say the one word he most wanted to say.

Stay.

“It's decided, Liam. I'm going. It's out of my hands. You don't understand. I have no choice.”

She couldn't have been more wrong. He understood perfectly. “You always have a choice.”

Chapter Seventeen

“A
re you sure about this?” Zoey asked as she held the door to the cockpit of her tiny plane open for Posy. “Because it's not too late to change your mind.”

“I'm sure,” Posy said, even though she'd never been less sure of anything in her life.

She'd been heartsick when she'd left Liam's house the night before. Absolutely physically ill. She hadn't slept a wink all night long. Every time she'd closed her eyes, she'd seen that look of bitter disappointment on his face.

The worst part, the very worst, was just how long it had taken that look to make an appearance. She'd expected him to become angry the moment she'd told him the news. He hadn't. Rather than fury, his initial reaction had been one of disbelief. Even after all they'd been through, after the way she'd left and never looked back, he'd been unwilling to believe she would do it again. He'd had faith she would do the right thing and be there for the girls. And it was that faith that had nearly brought her to her knees.

She sat woodenly beside Zoey as she conducted her preflight check. Posy owed her big for making the time to get her to Anchorage so quickly. She'd had a handful of charter flights in the morning and midafternoon, but as soon as her schedule had freed up, she'd made plans to get Posy there. The connection time between when they were due to land in Anchorage and when her commercial flight to San Francisco took off would be tight, but she'd still be able to make it so long as everything went smoothly.

The irony, of course, was that she'd be flying directly over the community center as the recital got under way. She wasn't sure she'd be able to look down. She didn't think she could bear it.

“Zoey, am I doing the right thing?” she asked, holding her dance bag tightly to her chest. Her dance bag had been a security blanket for as long as she could remember. And before her dance bag, it had been her purse, because she'd always kept her pointe shoes nestled safely inside. She knew it was silly, but she liked to have those shoes with her. So in bad times, times when it felt as if she was losing everything, she would always have ballet to hold close to her heart.

“I don't know, Posy. Only you can answer that question.” Zoey fastened her clipboard in its place on the center console of the cockpit and grabbed her headset. “How do you feel about leaving? Does it feel right?”

No. It feels wrong.

But that didn't make sense at all. If she didn't show up for her audition, all those years of dance would have been for nothing. Leaving Aurora the first time would have been for nothing.

She couldn't turn back time. Staying now wouldn't change anything that had gone on before. She couldn't change the past.

But she could change the future. Maybe not for her and Liam. He would probably never speak to her again, and if he chose not to, she wouldn't blame him. There had to be a limit to how many times a person was willing to be let down. Whatever that limit was, Posy was certain she'd exceeded it.

It might be too late to change her future with Liam, but it wasn't too late to change the future for the girls. The recital hadn't started yet. She could probably still make it if she hurried.

Don't be silly. The damage is done.

By now, Liam would have told them that she'd left. She was free to pack up her pointe shoes and go.

Wait.

Her pointe shoes. Where were her pointe shoes? The last time she'd seen them, they'd been sitting on a chair at the church with their pink ribbons wrapped snugly around them. Surely she hadn't left them there. She never went anywhere without them.

But she couldn't remember packing them. Not last night. Not this morning.

“My pointe shoes!” she shrieked, ripping open her dance bag and rifling through it. “They're not here.”

“What?” Zoey removed her headset. “Is something wrong?”

“I forgot my pointe shoes. They're still at the church.” She couldn't believe she'd left them there. How had this happened?

Zoey shrugged. “So? Don't you have a million of those things?”

“Yes, but...”

“But what?”

“You don't think it means something, do you? The fact that I forgot them?” She wasn't sure why she was even asking the question. She already knew the answer. She'd known it all along. “Never mind. I can't go.”

“Are you serious?” Zoey asked. Posy couldn't help but notice the smile making its way to her lips.

“Dead serious. I'm sorry, Zoey. I just can't leave. I need to dance at that recital. I gave my word. I need to be there to fill those shoes.” She tugged frantically at the door handle. What if it was too late? What if she couldn't get there in time? She couldn't even go straight to the community center. She'd have to stop by the church to get her shoes and her costume.

“Aren't you forgetting something? How are you planning on getting there? I picked you up earlier, remember?”

“Oh, that's right.” She slumped back in her seat.

“Here.” Zoey dug around in her pocket and fished out her keys. “Take my car. Don't wait for me. I have to cancel our flight plan and get things settled here.”

Posy reached for the keys. “Are you sure you don't mind?”

“Of course I don't mind, but you need to hurry. Go! Now!” She pointed at the door.

Go! Now!

Posy opened the door and went.

* * *

The church parking lot was snow-covered and empty when Posy pulled up in Zoey's car. She debated forgoing the stop altogether so she wouldn't miss the start of the recital. She could still be there to support the girls and not dance, but that didn't feel right, either. If she was going to do this, to commit to the recital at the expense of her ballet career, she was going to do it 100 percent.

At the expense of her ballet career.

Since the moment she'd made the decision not to step on that airplane, she'd told herself that this didn't mean the end of her career. It simply meant she wouldn't be promoted. She could still go back to being a soloist if she wanted.

But she couldn't think about that right now. She had a recital to attend. She didn't know what she wanted beyond being there for the girls. Right now she just needed to grab her pointe shoes and her costume and get to the community center.

Of course, she was assuming that Liam hadn't otherwise disposed of her tutu. Burned it, or better yet, fed it to Sundog. She wouldn't have blamed him if he had.

The crushing disappointment in his eyes when she'd told him she was leaving had been excruciating to witness. More painful than anything that could have happened to her physical body. Broken bones couldn't compete with the agony of a broken heart. And her heart had shattered when she'd realized the mistake she'd made. Again.

Almost. You're here now.

She didn't expect him to forgive her. Coming back was too little, too late. But she wanted to do right by the girls. To put them first. Before herself, before ballet. She'd figure out the rest of her future after they'd taken their final curtsies.

She felt strange as she darted across the parking lot. Lighter somehow, as if she could jeté straight to the moon. Odd, considering her life was pretty much in shambles at the moment. Nervous energy bubbled inside her. Like the stage fright she'd always struggled with, only intensified. Even her teeth felt strange, as if she'd bit into something sweet and wonderful.

“Hello?” she called into the empty space, surprised to find the door to the church ajar. Then again, this was Aurora. Land of snow, dancing reindeer and unlocked doors.

One of the girls probably forgot to shut the door behind them in the excitement to get to the recital. A good amount of snowy powder had already blown inside, so she hung her purse on the coatrack and hastily swept the snow back outside with the dual-sided ice scraper/snow-brush tool that was always propped by the door.

She did the best she could with minimal effort. Time was ticking away, and she really wanted to get to the recital before any of the girls went onstage. She tossed the ice scraper back in its place, clicked the door properly closed and hurried in the direction of the fellowship hall.

She paused as she passed Liam's office. The interior was dark and the door stood open, but a shuffling noise came from inside. She lingered for a second or two, and just as she'd convinced herself she was hearing things, the noise started up again. Louder this time. Scraping noises, punctuated by two or three grunts, as though someone was trying to move a desk from one end of the room to the other.

Liam.

Her heart échappéd straight to her throat. She wasn't prepared to see him so soon. The memory of his disappointment was too fresh. She had no idea what to say to him.
I'm sorry
seemed like a good start. Wholly inadequate, but a beginning nonetheless. And perhaps it was better that she apologize to him here, in private, rather than at the crowded community center with chattering girls darting to and fro in fluffy tutus.

Another bumping noise came from inside the office. She leaned closer to the crack in the door. “Liam? It's me, Posy. I changed my mind. I'm back.”

There was no response. Just eerie silence as the commotion came to an abrupt end.

“I'm sorry.” She swallowed around the lump in her throat. Goodness, this was difficult. More difficult than she'd expected, and she wouldn't have thought that was possible.

Of course, it would have been easier if he'd say something. Anything. Or at the very least look at her.

“Liam, I'm coming in. Okay?” She took a deep breath and pushed the door the rest of the way open, but couldn't see much in the darkened office.

She felt for the light switch next to the doorjamb then flipped it on, and the tiny room was bathed in light. She blinked, confused at first by what she saw.

No Liam. No one. No human, anyway.

She let out a sigh at the familiar sight of Sundog's wooly backside sticking out from a large overturned trash can in the corner. Two other big, similar-looking trash cans had also been knocked over. At first she couldn't figure out where they'd all come from, but then she recognized them as the barriers scattered around the field for his snowball team's practice.

She rolled her eyes. “Really, Sundog? You're so desperate for food that you're rummaging through wastebaskets that haven't had anything but snow in them for weeks? Honestly. I'm disappointed in you. I really am. I thought you and I had been making some progress. Look at you. The minute you think I've left Alaska, you're back to your old tricks. What are you even doing here, anyway? Did everyone leave you behind?”

She braced herself for an enthusiastic assault of flailing paws and dog slobber, but none was forthcoming. Sundog acted as if he didn't even recognize her. He didn't so much as wag his tail.

Wait a minute.

She stared at his shaggy form protruding from the trash can. Horror struck her as she realized that not only was there no wagging tail, there was no tail at all. Period.

Her breath came in short, desperate gasps. She couldn't seem to get enough air all of a sudden. Her heart hammered so frantically, she was certain she'd perish from cardiac arrest before she even had a chance to be eaten. Blood pumped through her veins so hard she could hear it pulsing in staccato monosyllables.

Bear...bear...bear...

How could this be happening? It was her homecoming all over again, only this time it was real. She'd run into a bear in church. Not Liam's maniac dog. A real, actual bear.

Stay quiet. Don't draw any attention to yourself.

She prayed it wasn't too late to sneak quietly out of the office. After all, the bear was still buried waist deep in the trash can. Maybe all that heavy plastic had muffled her voice, and Smokey had missed out on her lecture.

She took a tentative step backward and stumbled into the wall. She'd never been so afraid in her life. Her knees were on the verge of buckling. And then her worst fear at the moment was realized. The creature backed out of the trash can and spun around to face her.

Dark furry face topped with round ears and a long, blond muzzle. Quivering black nose. And a mouthful of teeth—yellowed, pointy and large. So very large.

A bear. Most definitely.

* * *

With only thirty minutes before the curtain was to go up on the recital, Liam slipped out of the community center.

The girls were all dressed in their new tutus, Anya was busy helping them with their makeup and the music was ready to go. True to her word, Posy had taken care of every detail before she'd left. Except one. And it had been the most important detail of all.

It had killed him to tell the girls she wouldn't be there to perform. Worse than that, she wouldn't see them dance. Their collective reaction had been one of disbelief. They'd sat cross-legged on the floor of the community center with their bottom lips quivering, suddenly in no hurry to put on the costumes they'd been so excited about for weeks.

Afterward, once he'd given them his best attempt at a “the show must go on” speech, he'd simply needed to get away for a few minutes. The air in the community center had become unbearably stuffy, weighted down with Posy's absence.

He was supposed to be the strong one, someone the kids could lean on. He was their adviser, their cheerleader, their friend. Above all, he was their anchor. Someone they could count on in a world that could so often seem overwhelming. He was supposed to have all the answers.

But when Melody had looked at him with a wobble in her chin and tears shining in her eyes and asked him if she would ever see Posy again, he didn't have an answer for her. What was he supposed to have said?

He'd said the only truth he'd known. “Posy cares about you very much, Melody. She cares about all of us.”