Love Inspired May 2015 #1 (5 page)

Trust. He had a feeling neither of them were really big on trusting. He'd watched her for the past year, easing into the community, keeping to herself for the most part, then eventually letting a few people in.

He'd been abandoned by his own mother. He understood what it meant to have trust issues. He also knew he couldn't fix everything. As a medic in the army, he'd tried. And he'd walked away, disillusioned with his own abilities and with God, because he knew God had to hear him screaming for help saving those kids.

He cleared his throat, coming back to the present, away from dark memories that he usually kept at bay until night. Oregon watched him closely with eyes that seemed to see too much.

“So what about you?” he asked as he studied her face. He shifted his gaze to Lilly. Not for the first time he wondered how he'd been so blind. Breezy had told him she noticed the first time she met Lilly. Jake had nodded, as if everyone had seen the resemblance.

“I'll take a chef salad,” Oregon answered.

He started to stand but Ned was there, round face smiling big and her graying auburn hair in a long ponytail. Nedine, fifty and happily single, was half hippy and half rancher, and when she settled her hand on his shoulder, he didn't argue. He stayed put.

“I've got this, boss.” She winked and held up her order pad. “How about I fix you some lunch and you can join the ladies?”

“I'll take the same as Lilly. And thank you.”

She winked and walked away. He stood, moving his chair back to the neighboring table. Lilly scooted, making room for him in the booth. He slid in next to her, their shoulders bumping. He looked down, and she looked up at him, her teeth biting into her bottom lip as she studied his face.

Was she seeing the resemblance? he wondered. He guessed she was because she frowned, first at him and then at her mom.

Oregon's cheeks turned pink, and she focused on the napkin in her hands. He had to get control of the situation. That was the first step in this new life of his. Staying in control.

“I've got Ned and Joe working tonight.” At the mention of Joe, Oregon looked up. Suspicion settled in her eyes, because that's the reaction everyone in town had to the drifter who had shown up before Christmas.

Oregon thanked Ned, who set a glass of sweet tea in front of her and the shakes in front of Lilly and himself. The waitress scurried away, fast for a woman so large.

“I thought I'd take the night off and help you move.”

“Oh, I see.”

Did she have another plan? Someone else who would help?

“Is that okay?” He leaned forward, folding his large frame a little so that he didn't tower over Oregon and his daughter. Even sitting, he knew he towered. A man who was six foot eight knew he could be intimidating.

“Yes, of course,” Lilly answered, sounding way too grown-up. That gave him pause. She was twelve, but she would soon grow up.

He got a little itchy thinking about that. She'd be a teenager. She'd date. There would be boys knocking on the door, and she would get in a car and go out with them. He swallowed a lump of fear that got tangled up with premature anger. If the boys were anything like him, they weren't coming near Lilly.

A foot connected with his shin, and he managed not to squawk at the sharp pain. He glanced at the woman sitting across from him as she gave him a warning look.

“What?” he fairly snarled.

“That's my cue to take a walk.” Lilly pushed his shoulder. “Grown-up talk time. And I don't even know why. I get a family and suddenly we can't sit down to a meal without the adults acting like they're at war.”

He moved from the booth and watched as she situated her crutches and scurried away. She glanced back over her shoulder. “I'm going to the kitchen. Let me know when you're done talking about me.”

Duke folded himself back into the booth and felt like a ten-year-old kid that had been sent to the principal's office. He glanced at the woman sitting across from him. She didn't openly smile, but he saw her lips start to curve, the flicker of amusement in her eyes.

“Did we say something that made her think we needed time to talk?” he asked.

Her grin became the real deal. He loved that gesture, the way it shifted her face, and the sweetness settled in her eyes. That smile made him regret the past, making him not so sorry about the present or the future. But nervous. Yeah, still nervous.

“You looked like a thundercloud,” Oregon responded, and he blinked.

“What does that mean?”

“You were sitting there all calm and gentle giant-like, and suddenly you became a rumbling mountain about to erupt.”

“I didn't realize.”

“No, I'm sure you didn't. You rumble. It almost sounds like a growl. And I'm sure Lilly is wondering why.”

He leaned back in the seat, the vinyl cushion lumpy from overuse, ripped a bit in one spot. He'd have to fix that. Oregon kicked him again, this time without the power of that first time. He opened his eyes and looked at her.

“I was thinking about the fact that I just got this kid, and in the next few years she's going to become a young lady,” he admitted, feeling all kinds of insecurity that a grown man shouldn't feel. “And she'll, well, she'll date. Boys. I'll have to hurt them.”

Oregon laughed, the sound so easy and warm that it slid over him like summer rain. He soaked it up, like a man dying of thirst who hadn't even known he was thirsty.

“Yes, she'll date. And you won't hurt them.”

“What if she brings home a guy like me, the way I was at sixteen or seventeen?” He grimaced at none-too-pleasant memories. “At twenty.”

“She's not me, and she isn't going to date anyone like you. She is loved and secure, and I hope she'll make better choices. And I'm not going to let her randomly date every boy that knocks on the door or calls. Or texts.”

“Gotcha. But I can be there.”

“And intimidate them?”

She glanced at his interlocked fingers, and he made an effort to relax his hands.

“Never.” He grinned as he said it. Something inside him loosened a bit. At least Oregon had time on the job, as a parent, as a mom.

He wondered if she would resent his participation. Maybe now was the time to talk. They hadn't talked much since he'd taken them home yesterday. No, yesterday had been more about telling Lilly, and then watching her shut down and wondering how to fix everything.

“I want to be a part of her life, Oregon. I want to be more than the neighbor, the guy who watches her grow up. I want to be a father to her.”

“I assumed you would.” Her voice was easy, only a hint of tension. “That's why I came here, Duke. I know I should have told you sooner, but it wasn't that easy. Once I got here, I realized that bringing you into her life meant bringing you into mine. It just wasn't as simple as I had convinced myself it would be.”

“Eventually we have to talk about why you made the decision now, after twelve years of parenting alone.” Because he knew there had been something that pushed her to come here, something to change her mind.

“It's a long story.”

“That's just your way of saying
none of your business
, right?”

“No, not really. It's just a long story.”

There were tears building in her eyes, hanging on her lashes. The door to the kitchen opened. That would be their lunch. It would also mean the return of Lilly. He let it go. For now.

He also let go of the very real urge to hug the woman sitting across from him.

Chapter Five

T
he truck and trailer pulling up to Oregon's apartment later that afternoon took her by surprise. She watched as Duke's brothers, Jake and Brody, jumped down from the truck. Brody hopped a little on one leg, shook his right leg out and then pretended that at twenty-six there wasn't a thing wrong with him. He wasn't as tall as his older brothers. He was more lean than muscular. His dark hair was a little too long, and his blue eyes hinted at something going on that he kept hidden deep down where no one would care to try to excavate it.

Jake, on the other hand, looked like the happy newlywed he was. He'd married Breezy Hernandez just weeks ago and still had the look of a man who had found what he wanted when he hadn't even been looking. He waved as he pulled a handcart from the back of the truck.

“Someone called for Martin Moving, Inc?” he called out as he headed up the sidewalk.

Oregon held the door open, and from behind Lilly pushed her, wanting to see. “We don't have a lot.”

“Then it won't take long,” Brody supplied as he half limped up the sidewalk. “You just tell us what to do, and we'll do it.” He stepped through the door, giving Lilly a playful nudge as he did. “Duke should be here soon. He had to make sure everything was taken care of for the dinner crowd.”

“He'll try to find a way out of this,” Jake informed her. “He hates moving.”

“Talking about me, big brother?” Duke appeared in the doorway, a little taller than Jake and quite a bit wider in the shoulders. He might be younger by a few years, but Duke was no one's little brother
.

Jake grinned as he started to stack boxes. “I'd never talk about you. Not much.”

Oregon looked over at her daughter. Lilly watched in wide-eyed fascination as the brothers argued back and forth. She'd never been a part of a family, not one like this. They'd only had Oregon's mom and her newest husband until he became the ex-husband. They didn't have siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins.

By coming here, Oregon had given Lilly a family. She'd given her daughter a safety net, people to be there for her. It felt good. She felt secure in the knowledge that if something happened to her, Lilly would have the Martins.

“Hey, do you have tape?” Duke nudged her a little.

She shook her head. “Sorry. What?”

“You didn't hear a thing I said, did you?” he asked.

“No,” she admitted. “Not sure where I was.”

“Far away.” He smiled as he said it, that smile indicating that maybe they would be friends. Friendship would make things easier between them, easier for Lilly. Friendship meant someone having her back.

She drifted back to reality. “So...tape?”

He arched a brow. “Yes, tape.”

She went to get it. When she returned, Lilly was sitting next to Brody, telling him about the last place they'd lived in and how she'd spent time with a friend of her mom's for a month. Brody looked up and saw her watching them. He winked and went back to work, still listening to Lilly's stories about Mississippi, Alabama and a small town in Oklahoma. For a time they'd tried to stay close to Oregon's mom, but that had proved exhausting. Oregon wanted stability for her daughter, not for her to be another victim of her mother's unsettled lifestyle.

“Do you want us to move this furniture into storage?” Duke asked as he headed for the door with boxes.

She shook her head. “No, I'll leave it here. When I'm in the shop, it's nice to have a place where Lilly can hang out.”

“Works for me.” Duke shouldered the door open and headed down the sidewalk.

Oregon grabbed two boxes and followed him. She wasn't sure why or what she planned on saying. As the door closed behind her, she heard Lilly call Duke's brother Uncle Brody.

Her heart tightened at the words. She hurried on, catching up with Duke.

“Following me?” Duke asked without looking back.

“I'm carrying boxes.”

“Right.” He shifted the boxes he carried and glanced at her, slowing just a little. “You have to stop worrying.”

“I'm not worrying, I'm...”

“Worrying.” He set the boxes in the back of the truck and then jumped up inside. “We'll get through this.”

“I know we will.”

She watched him stack boxes along the back of the truck. He turned, keeping his head low because the truck didn't allow for his height. “You don't sound convinced.”

“I'm trying,” she assured him.

He jumped down, landing next to her. He touched her cheek with a large, calloused hand, gently forcing her to look at him. Look into blue eyes that were as clear as a summer sky. His mouth curved in an easy smile as he leaned a little toward her. She focused on the dimples that appeared in his cheeks, because she could lose herself in his eyes, in the promises she saw in them.

“You need to start believing,” he whispered. “Because I won't let us fail as a family.”

Family. But they weren't a family, she thought to tell him, but she couldn't form the words. For a moment she was lost because she'd honestly thought he meant to kiss her when he leaned close. And she couldn't let that happen. Could she?

The idea of kissing him seemed almost as dangerous as the idea of believing the three of them would be a real family. That wasn't why she'd come here. She'd come to Martin's Crossing to give Lilly a chance at being a part of a family, but she hadn't included herself in that plan.

She looked up at Duke, putting a stop to the moment stretching between them. “Of course you won't let us fail. We're in this together. We'll be fine.”

They were in a mess, is what they were in. He knew how it felt to have a family fall apart. She knew how it felt to never have a father. She also knew that if he kissed her she would fall for him all over again. And she couldn't do that.

Because she knew how it felt to be walked out on. Not once, or even twice, but over and over again. Whatever the cost, she would protect her heart. She would protect her daughter.

“I know we'll be fine,” she repeated, ignoring his amused look.

“Of course we will. And you've got to learn to relax.”

“I know how to relax.”

He winked, which didn't help matters at all. Maybe she shouldn't have worried about the influence he would have on her daughter. Maybe her first concern should be for how he could undo all of her very carefully groomed self-preservation.

“Here comes Joe and Mr. Mueller. Two of your biggest fans. And maybe I shouldn't feel so relaxed because they're puffed up like bodyguards.”

“As if those two could hurt you.”

He grinned at that. “Of course they could.”

“Oregon, I hear you're leaving the neighborhood,” Mr. Mueller, dapper with thinning gray hair, asked as he stepped close to her.

He was the grandson of German immigrants and owned a small store next to Oregon's where he sold the wood carvings and candle carousel nativities that his grandfather had first made in Germany. A skill that had been passed down through generations, he explained to those who shopped in his store.

“We're not leaving, Mr. Mueller, just relocating temporarily. And of course I'll still be at the shop.”

“Of course she will,” Joe added. “We wouldn't let Oregon leave us for good.”

Joe had been so kind since his arrival in town. He'd often stopped by to help her take out trash or carry shipments to the post office. He'd helped Lilly find homes for the puppies their dog had given birth to last winter. She really liked Joe, but she was still wary.

“No, we aren't going anywhere,” she confirmed.

Joe glanced past her, his eyes lighting, and she knew that the beaming look was for Lilly. She heard the brush of the crutches on the sidewalk, and she turned to watch her daughter make steady progress toward them. Her pace almost a little too quick for a mother's peace of mind. Lilly grinned at her, as if she knew Oregon's thoughts.

“Brody and Jake are bringing out a bunch of boxes, and they said Duke might want to get back in there and help. Instead of socializing,” Lilly said in a slightly deeper tone, to emulate the men inside.

Duke saluted, chuckling as he headed inside. Oregon knew that he felt every bit the proud father, as if he'd just seen a newborn for the first time. But his daughter was long past infancy, past first words and first steps. She was a walking, talking—and very rotten—twelve-year-old, who would keep her daddy wrapped around her little finger.

Oregon sighed. She knew she had to work overtime to keep her daughter on firm footing. And to keep Duke from giving her everything she'd always wanted.

* * *

Duke carried the last load of boxes from the truck to the cottage where Oregon was already putting things away, turning what had been his home into hers. He walked through the back door and noticed her dark hair was pulled back in a ponytail as she swiped at perspiration on her brow. He guessed she was worn out, physically and emotionally. The last few days hadn't been easy on any of them.

“This is the last of it. Jake and Brody left, and I think we should take a break.” Duke placed the boxes on the kitchen floor and moved next to the woman standing at the sink, her back to him.

“A break would be good. But you don't have to stay. We'll probably eat sandwiches and go to bed early.”

“Are you saying you want me to go?” He waited, not pushing. She turned on the water and ran her hands under it for a few seconds, splashed her face, then reached for a paper towel. “Oregon, it's going to work out.”

“I know it is.” She tossed the paper towel in the trash and looked around, as if seeing the kitchen for the first time. “This is perfect, really. You can spend time with Lilly. We're in the country, and her dog is obviously much happier. Everything is perfect.”

Then she started to cry.

What did he do with a woman standing in his kitchen, falling apart in front of him?

He took a chance and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. She didn't object; instead she leaned into his shoulder and sobbed against him. He kept her close, brushing a hand down her back, rubbing until the sobs lessened.

“We're going to make it through this, Oregon. We're going to give our girl what she needs to be happy. She's going to have us both.”

She nodded, but he could tell from the damp warmth seeping into his T-shirt that she continued to cry.

Then the back door slammed. Followed by a startled “Oops.”

He smiled back at Lilly as she raised a crutch to wave, and then she backed out the door again. Her dog and his went with her. He watched from the window as she settled on the bench glider in the yard. Her dog, Belle, climbed up next to her, stretched out and rested her head on Lilly's lap.

“I have to stop being so emotional.” Oregon finally sniffled and stepped away from him. She reached for another paper towel. “I didn't come to town for myself. I came here for Lilly.”

“Right, of course. And just so you know, it isn't wrong for you to need someone. And I think you've done a lot of that in your life, with no one ever there to help.”

“I'm good at taking care of myself.”

“Yeah, I know. But let me be here for you. And for Lilly. Stop worrying that I'm going to take her away from you.”

“But you could.”

“I think you know better. The two of you are a team. If anyone should be jealous, it should be me.”

“So now we'll be a team of three.”

He hugged her once more, because yes, that's exactly what they would be. A team of three. He'd be living at his place, even as he finished the renovations. They'd be here in the cottage. It wasn't perfect, but for now it was a place to start.

“Do you need me to do anything else before I leave for the night?”

“Have a sandwich with us. Breezy's casserole was good, but I'm starving again.”

“Sit outside with Lilly, and I'll bring everything out.”

Her hand rested on his arm, just briefly. “I can make my own sandwich.”

“I know you can, but humor me. Go have a seat. The sun is down, and it's pretty nice out there. You can't always grab a cool night like this in Texas, so take advantage of it.”

She started to argue, but he pushed her out the back door, gentle hands on her shoulders. He watched as she walked across the patio. Lilly met her at the table. Belle, the Border collie he'd given Lilly when she first moved to town and seemed to need a friend, followed. The dog curled at Lilly's feet when she sat in the chair next to her mother.

Not much scared Duke. But this scared him senseless. These two people were counting on him. They were counting on him to be there for them, to provide, to stay sober.

He hadn't thought much about staying sober for the past year or so. There had been a time when every day sobriety was a struggle. Every day sober had been a victory. He'd had to accept that the bottle had been his hiding place. The place he'd run to when he couldn't handle pain or anger. He wouldn't run back to that bottle again.

He walked out the back door carrying a tray with bottles of water, sandwiches and a bag of chips. Oregon jumped up to help. She had kicked off her shoes, and she looked young and even a little bit carefree in cut-off jean shorts and a T-shirt, her dark hair pulled back off her face.

But carefree stopped at her eyes. Those eyes reflected her every mood and pulled him in, making him want to know more about her thoughts. He shook it off.

“Let me help.”

He slid the tray onto the table. “I think I've got it covered. I do own a diner, you know.”

Lilly reached for a sandwich almost immediately. He grinned at the kid and put a bottle of water in front of her. She grinned back at him. Kids. They bounced back quickly. But it mattered more than ever that she be happy, that she relax and not worry.

He took the chair next to hers. He'd never liked this patio furniture. It felt like a miniature set, not a set built for a man his size.