Love Inspired Suspense June 2014 Bundle 1 of 2: Undercover Marriage\Collateral Damage\Forgotten Past (28 page)

She took a slow, deep breath and gathered strength from the bucolic scene of cattle and horses and the occasional llama grazing around ponds and among huge round bales of hay.

“If there's something you need to talk about, sweetheart, you know I'm here for you.”

She leaned forward and glanced in the side mirror. A convoy continued to follow them as they passed the intersection of state highways 60 and 97. She knew she should tell Nick first. Everything Sarah could recall from that murky night told her that he was Emma's father, and his words today had confirmed it, but she couldn't suppress the fear she felt at the thought. What would his reaction be? Selfishly, she needed to know she wouldn't be alone, but she also wanted Edward to know now that he had a grandchild, to ease the lines of pain around his eyes. “Mom and Dad didn't lie to you. They adopted Emma, but they did it because she was their granddaughter.”

There was a long silence. The truck tires rumbled loudly on the shoulder before correcting.

Sarah glanced at Edward. “Now who's catching flies?”

He closed his mouth.

“You know that party Nora had at her place just before we left?” she asked.

“You think anyone's ever going to forget it? That turned into a nightmare for poor Nora.”

Sarah grimaced. “It was an awful thing for someone to do to her.”

“And to the kids.”

“Did anyone ever find out who would spike the soda with ecstasy? Or why?”

Edward shook his head. “Nora hired a private investigator. She and Kirstie Thompson and Carmen scoured the town for clues—and to be honest, those three ladies could probably start their own investigative service. No one ever found out who drugged the kids. There were a lot of guesses, but no answers.”

“Shelby was so excited about the party, but it turned out she was sick that night.”

He glanced at her. “Nora had to give the sheriff a list of names of the teenagers at the party. Shelby's name was there. Yours wasn't.”

“I dropped the costume for the night, so Carmen mistook me for Shelby. Everybody did.”

He raised his eyebrows. “That was unusual.”

“I was so devastated about our upcoming move to St. Louis that I decided since Shelby wasn't going I would take her place. I wore her clothes and undid the Goth. In the dark, no one could tell the difference, because I'd washed the black stuff out of my hair and actually put her makeup on instead of my own.”

“And if she hadn't been sick?”

“I probably wouldn't have gone to say goodbye the way I wanted to, and maybe, just maybe, she would have been the one to drink that drug and end up pregnant. And she wouldn't still be judging me after all these years.” Not that Sarah would wish that on her sister, but it might teach Shelby a little compassion.

“Judging you? Why?”

“I sullied the Russell name, even though no one knows Emma's mine except Mom, Dad, Shelby and my cousin John Fred.”

“Honey, you were raped.”

Sarah looked down and saw that she was trying to tie her fingers into knots once again. This was going to be even harder than she'd thought. “How can you say I was raped? How can anyone say that for sure? We were all raped that night by the twisted person who drugged us.”

“But you were innocent.”

“Then so was the father. If I'd been perfectly innocent I wouldn't have acted on a wrong impulse. I also wouldn't have pretended to be someone I wasn't.”

Despite the serious conversation, Edward chuckled. “Dressed normally, with your natural hair, is it possible you were trying to reveal your real self to your friends in Jolly Mill before you left?”

Sarah sat back, trying hard to reject the old ooze of guilt that attempted to cover her once more. She considered his words. “I had an agenda, Edward.”

“You sure?”

“Okay, it wasn't totally that.” She swallowed. “But you and Aunt Peg knew how much I loved Nick.”

The silence lingered. The center line passed her vision at hypnotically increasing speed. She'd finally given Edward the clue he needed to work things out for himself, and she could hear his breathing grow unsteady.

A loud swallow echoed through the cab. “Nick.”

“He was the one I went to say goodbye to, and I went without the Goth getup because he'd told me once he had a crush on Shelby. I wanted so badly to be her, and to be the one he loved. I thought a goodbye kiss—”

“He never loved your sister, Sarah. One short two-week crush at most? I think he was simply imagining you without the glop on your face and hair. His silly crush on Shelby was nothing compared to the lasting love you and Nick shared, that powerful bond of friendship that Peg kept telling me would blossom into enduring love.” Poor Edward's voice had begun to quiver.

She quietly caught her breath and allowed a smile to spread across her face. “You really think so?”

“You know the truth. It was always you and Nick, from grade school on. Peg and I hoped you two would remain friends and eventually get married. We both ached for you and Nick when Mark took that job in St. Louis. Nick wasn't the same after you left, but he plunged into extra studies, volunteering at the hospital, earning that scholarship.”

“If only we'd known,” she whispered. “I can't tell you without a doubt that Nick is Emma's father, because I don't remember—the drug, you know. I have no actual memories to back it up, but looking at her I see so much of Nick, of you, of Aunt Peg.”

There was a long silence, and then a deep sigh. “So you're saying Peg and I have...a granddaughter?”

Something dripped on Sarah's hand, and she looked down, startled to see that she was crying. Again. Where had all these tears come from lately? “Nick's the only one I went to see that night. So many times, I'd look at him and wonder if he was thinking of Shelby. That was why I couldn't resist pretending to be her that night. I wanted to be close to him. I told myself I didn't care if he did think he was kissing Shelby, but I did. Today he told me without realizing it that he shares some of the same memories.”

The truck slowed just a little, and that was when Sarah realized the fence posts on each side of the road were a blur, and the truck was shaking.

“I thought you said you didn't remember what happened.”

“I don't recall much, but I do remember I went looking for Nick after I got my soda. I didn't even realize anything had happened—I mean, I don't remember a kiss or anything. Three months later I found out I was pregnant.”

“Do you remember finding Nick at the party?”

“Yes, but sometimes I wondered if it was because I wanted to remember. Everyone wanted to talk to me because they thought I was Shelby. I've carried a few images of Nick sitting on a square bale of hay in the loft above everyone else.”

“It's something he would do.”

“Yes, but I knew that about him, too. By that time things were hazy. Mom and Dad never knew my suspicions about Nick being Emma's father. How could I do that to him?”

“You thought you were doing the right thing, as your parents did.”

“They convinced me to let them adopt Emma because I had my whole life ahead of me, and they wanted me to live it, and they didn't want Emma to live with the stigma of illegitimacy. They thought it was such an awful thing to happen to me, I couldn't tell them I thought the father might be Nick, because according to their reactions, it would have ruined his life.”

“How I wish we'd caught the nasty piece of work who did this to us all.” Edward's voice was suddenly gravelly with unaccustomed anger.

Sarah sighed and leaned her head against the seat. “If that night hadn't happened we wouldn't have Emma,” she said quietly.

“You haven't told Nick?”

She shook her head. “I can't help wondering what it might do to him.”

“You don't have the luxury of time now, honey. He needs to know.”

“Yes.”

Edward took her by the arm and squeezed it briefly, then returned his hand to the steering wheel. “I don't think you understand, sweetheart. I'm not just saying that it's the right thing to do—which it is. I'm saying that for Nick to discover he has a daughter and that you're the mother of that daughter and that his whole world hasn't been destroyed because of the works of wicked, greedy people these past years, it might counteract the blackness that's bearing down on him right now.”

Sarah glanced in the rearview mirror again, and though the reflection was too small for her to see Nick sitting alone in the backseat, she ached for the pain he'd endured. “I'm so sorry he's had such a nightmarish life. He didn't deserve it.”

“You're sure he's Emma's father, aren't you?”

“Until today I told myself maybe it was wishful thinking, but after Nick shared his memories...yes. This morning he asked me if Shelby was Emma's mother, and Alec remarked that Emma looks just like Aunt Peg did at sixteen.”

Sarah didn't realize until too late that they'd sped past the turn-off to Jolly Mill and that the truck was once more quaking at a frightening speed. “Edward, you'd better pull over and let me drive.”

“I'm fine.”

“Your truck isn't, and you just found out you might be a grandfather, so I don't think you're fine, either.”

He glanced at the speedometer and lifted his foot from the accelerator once again. “Peg and I thought we'd never be grandparents. How I wish she could have lived to see this day.”

Sarah blinked, staring straight ahead.

“Peg would have been wildly in love with our granddaughter.”

Of course she would have. Why couldn't Sarah have seen that sooner?

“I can tell you this—my granddaughter will have the protection of a full army if it comes to that.” Edward spared a look for Sarah as the truck slowed and the steering wheel stopped vibrating. “And I have a powerful impression that our lives will never be the same.”

ELEVEN

“W
hat on earth is Edward doing up there?” Emma cried. “Is he sick? Did he have a stroke? He passed the Jolly Mill sign. Isn't that the turn-off?” She swiveled in her seat and looked behind them, then winced again and touched her head. “Looks like we're all still following him, though. Want to call and see what's up?”

“Sit back in your seat and stop trying to pop your head off.” Nick had Sarah on his cell within seconds. “Mind giving us an update?”

“All is...uh, well. Edward and I had a lot to catch up on and we kind of lost track of time and mileage.”

“Ya think?”

“Relax, it's okay now.” She chuckled, but the sound was a bit forced. “You know what an exciting conversationalist I am, and I distracted Edward from the road for a moment. We'll take the next turn. See you at Carmen's.”

She disconnected, and he folded his phone, attempting to decipher what it was he'd heard in her voice. Anxiety? Fear?

“Well?” Emma asked.

“Sarah said they got distracted, deep in conversation.”

“Does your father have a habit of speeding and missing his turns?” Gerard asked.

“First time for everything.” Nick studied the silhouettes in the truck ahead of them. “Emma, don't do this kind of thing to your sister again. Or to my father. Sounds like you've managed to freak them both out.”

“Me? You're blaming me for Edward nearly running off the road and missing his turn at a gazillion miles an hour?” Emma turned in her seat again, this time much more slowly. Her scowl didn't go very deep, and it didn't reach her eyes. “Anyway, he'd better be careful. That truck already looks like it's about to take its final breath.” Her eyes widened and her lips parted. “You know what? I do remember you and Sarah calling my name when I was at the conference center this morning.”

Again the subject change. A person could get whiplash trying to keep up with her. “Of course you did, and you didn't answer because you thought we'd make you come back.”

“No, that's not—”

“Did it occur to you that we would have joined you? That Sarah was simply worried about your safety?”

“But things happened so quickly, and you've seen how overprotective Sarah is.”

“With good reason. While we were at Parker's looking for you, Sarah got a call from your cousin John. Remember Chaz? Someone ran him off the road into Spring River. He's dead.”

Gerard sucked in his breath. “Man, way to scare the poor child to death.”

Nick couldn't miss Emma's reaction. Her skin paled for the second time on this short drive. Her brown eyes stared ahead on the road. “I'm not a...a child.” Her voice was barely there. “W-when?”

“Some fishermen found him this morning. Dad's already been to see his parents.”

A look of shock spread across Emma's face, and Nick was sorry he'd been so abrupt with her.

Gerard glanced around at Nick. “I need to have a talk with Edward, then.”

“I'm sure he didn't interrogate them. He was there to comfort them.”

“Then they're the ones I should visit. They'll want to know who did this to their son, because I can almost guarantee that's who killed the others. And don't worry, I'll be gentle.”

“Sounds like he wasn't much older than me.” Emma's voice had suddenly gone hoarse. “Chaz? He was only what, twenty-something?” Tears slid down her white cheeks. “How could someone do that?”

Nick hesitated. Sarah was right; this overly sheltered girl needed to be shocked enough that she would stay out of trouble. From what he'd heard so far, she'd been basically raised by three parents, plus a very protective cousin. A kid would have to develop a strong sense of independence just to stand on her own two feet. This one had that quality flowing out her ears.

He hadn't realized how awful it would feel to shock her out of her sense of security, though. If only he hadn't been forced to destroy the innocent faith of a child who believed in the goodness of all mankind.

“The person who slaughtered our friends and loved ones is a monster in disguise, Emma,” Gerard said gently, before Nick could say anything. “Not all humans are like your family or mine, and as you mature you have to learn that ugly fact.”

She hugged herself, shoulders slumping forward. “It's working.”

“No going outside alone,” Nick said. “And especially no running off like you did this morning.”

“I know. I get it. But who can we trust?” She wiped at her face, mingling tears with purple mascara. She made Nick want to wrap his arms around her and promise no one would ever hurt her again.

“You have a whole town full of protectors,” Nick said. “But we can't be sure which ones are the protectors and which one of all those good people might want to hurt you. Unless you're with Sarah, Gerard, Edward or several of our other very close friends, you mustn't allow yourself to be alone with anyone until we've found our killer.”

“I'm not taking anybody to the bathroom with me.”

Nick met Gerard's gaze in the rearview mirror and shared a hesitant grin. What would it take to quell this girl's spirit? “Okay, but only at Carmen's. And I've already warned you not to bump your head again for six months, right?”

“I don't plan to bump it at all.”

“Doesn't matter whether you plan to or not,” Nick said. “Life doesn't always work out the way we—”

Emma gasped. “I remember something else! The cellar? Where I fell? I heard footsteps going down there when I was on the other side of the building talking to God about my parents. That's why I didn't answer when you two shouted to me.”

“What else do you remember?” Nick asked.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, as if willing her brain to lose that layer of fog that covered the most vital facts with many concussions. “I had to find out who was there, of course.”

“Of course,” Gerard said dryly.

Nick groaned. Even after she'd been convinced enough about her parents' murders to drive all the way across the state to help “investigate,” she thought she was indestructible.

“You screamed,” Nick said. “Sarah and I heard you on our way up the hillside.”

“I don't remember that, but I'm pretty sure someone was in the cellar.”

Nick closed his eyes. “Gerard—”

“Got it. I'll check the cellar for footprints.”

“Emma, you didn't see anyone? Hear a voice?”

“I think that's where I smelled that scent. The cinnamon and pine.”

“In the cellar?”

“I think so. I'm sorry, I just don't remember more.”

“Until you do, and until we can catch whoever you saw, you're under the protective custody of your friends,” Nick said. “Poor Carmen's going to have an unexpected party at her house tonight.”

Gerard glanced over his shoulder at Nick. “She likes parties. Soon as I drop you two off I'll do some tracking around the conference building, see if I can find something useful, talk to the Collinses, try to talk to the sheriff again.”

“Alec can help,” Nick said. “I know you two clash like stainless-steel cymbals, but you need to work together right now if we're going to prevent this killer from getting away with...more.”

* * *

Sarah's hands ached from clenching them together so tightly on their highway race, but the narrow country road onto which they'd turned had ensured that Edward would keep the speed to an acceptable level. They would reach Jolly Mill in another moment or two.

There was no missing the excitement in Edward's demeanor, and she was glad she'd told him, despite her ridiculous timing.

“Edward, as you and Dad have always preached, we don't have automatic protection from all evil in this world,” she said.

He shot her a smile. “Mark and I have also preached that God will repay us for the years the locusts have eaten. Emma's that repayment for me, and she will be for Nick.”

“You're truly happy about this shock I've dumped on you?”

“You're the wordsmith, sweetheart—what's a more powerful word than ecstatic? Renewed? Hopeful?”

How she loved this man. “You know all those times you and Aunt Peg asked for me to come stay with you for the summer all through the remainder of my school years?”

“Sure do. I finally understand why you didn't.”

“I couldn't leave Emma that long. And I really wanted to see you, but then as Emma developed, and, to me, at least, began to look more and more like her father. I couldn't take the chance that I'd let something slip. Nick was in college, then med school, and I was young enough to be afraid that if he discovered he had a daughter, he might chuck it all to take on his fatherly duties. We had friends who'd had babies and dropped out of school. I know I was young and more than a little paranoid, but Mom and Dad had made a huge impression on me about having a baby out of wedlock and ruining our lives.” She stared out at the corn growing in the field to her right. “In trying to protect Nick, I robbed you and Aunt Peg and Nick of the joy of watching Emma grow up.”

Edward sighed. “Is there any way you could look at this situation without taking on the responsibility for the whole world? Can't you see that you were caught by the wiles of a drug pusher, and only that? You and your family made the best decisions you knew to make, and together you've raised a beautiful girl who has a heart filled with innocence and love. I can't help believing God had a hand in bringing her here. He simply used her strong spirit.”

“You mean her stubbornness. She got that from me. I do wish Aunt Peg could have known her.”

“But you know she will someday. Let's just make sure that's a long time from now.”

Sarah had always loved Edward's calm patience and loving attitude. “I wish I could have proof about Nick's paternity before I dump this on him.”

“I already do.”

“I mean positive proof. We could have blood tests or something. After all these years of believing, what if I've been wrong?”

“You think Nick's memories, which are totally separate from yours, are also wrong? Get serious, honey. I know it with every part of my being.” He slowed and turned onto his street. “The minute you told me what happened, I realized the truth. It's been staring me in the face all these years, especially when I saw my granddaughter in the flesh last night, sitting on the sofa next to her father. It amazes me that Peg and I didn't see it all these years when your parents sent us family pictures.” He pulled into the driveway and parked. “Let's get Emma's fifteen suitcases repacked and haul them over to Carmen's.” He started to climb from the truck.

Sarah placed a hand on his arm and glanced out the rear window, where Gerard had pulled up behind them. “Edward, you're the first person I've told about Emma. Would you give me time to work up the nerve to tell Nick and Emma?”

“You know I will, but why should you have to carry the whole burden now? I'm here for you. You know that, don't you? Isn't that why you came to me first? Let me help you shoulder this load.”

She'd allowed the complications in her life to be carried by others for far too long. “I have to be the one to break it to them, but if you'll help me with the fallout—”

“I'll be here.” He patted her cheek. “We've always been family, haven't we? That's more of a reality than ever before.”

Before she could reply, the passenger door swung open wide. “Dad, what on earth?” It was Nick.

“Hold it.” Sarah turned to slide out, forcing Nick to step back. “That was my fault, so don't get all freaky, okay? I distracted Edward with stories from...home.”

“You have got to be kidding me.” Emma stepped around Nick, her hair in tangles around her bandage. “Whatever happens at home that's exciting enough to lead us on a high-speed chase down a two-lane highway?”

“Living with you is all the excitement anyone needs.” Sarah grinned into her daughter's deep brown eyes—which really were just like Nick's. On instinct she caught Emma in a tight hug, enjoying the tickle of her child's long hair on her bare arm. “You know I love you, right?”

“Yeah, sis, and I'm not going to run off on you again, okay?” Emma's eyes were sparkling when she wriggled from Sarah's grasp. “I wish I'd gone with Edward. Nick and Gerard suddenly decided I needed a couple of dads on the drive from Monett. My ears are still ringing from all their fatherly advice.”

“They're just men,” Sarah said quietly. “They mean well.”

Emma giggled. “Yeah, but if we'd switched, I might've stopped Edward from trying to blast off for the moon and you could have held hands with Nick in the backseat and made more gooey eyes at each other.”

“
More
gooey eyes?” Nick caught her in an extremely gentle headlock and placed his knuckles to her scalp, threatening a noogie.

“Abuse! Abuse!” Emma cried. “I have a concussion!”

“Okay, that'll be enough arguing for a while.” Edward came around the front of the truck and tugged his granddaughter away from his son, chuckling. He gazed down into her face as if she was a flawless diamond sparkling in the sun.

Emma returned the gaze with the same display of adoration. It seemed to Sarah as if the family recognition had taken place the first moment they saw one another last night.

And then Sarah glanced up at Nick, who watched his father and Emma, studying their faces, their eyes. He seemed unable to look away. In that moment, Sarah could almost visualize the whole truth filtering through him.

Sometime during that staring match she discovered that she was suddenly the object of Nick's focused attention. There was confusion in his eyes. As Gerard and Edward walked with Emma into the Tyler home to collect her things, Nick remained.

“Sarah. What's happening here?”