Love Is Crazy (Love Is… #1) (33 page)

F
ucking hell
. He’d wanted the truth about Michael Phillips and here it was. Of all the things he’d been imagining, this was the one thing that never came to mind. No wonder she was so skittish that first night, when he’d grabbed her wrists and smacked her ass. And here she was, staring at him with her wide brown eyes, chest heaving, lips quivering, waiting for him to reply.

He was just so mad. That asshole had hurt her, and sure, their relationship had been kind of about that, but from the sounds of it, she’d marked that kind of stuff as off limits. But he’d kept going, pushed her past her limit, and then, when she’d finally cried out that it was enough, kept right on going some more. That was no kind of man. That was weakness wrapped up in power so little Michael Phillips could feel big and strong.

“If you want me to go…” Juliet started to stand, her voice catching in her throat.

“No. I most definitely do not want you to go.” Ian took her hand and pulled her into his lap where she perched rigidly for only a second before she melted into him.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her breath brushing against his neck.

“Why?”

“For…” She sat up and he didn’t like the scared little girl he saw in her eyes. Not one bit. “For being … all that.”

She dropped her eyes to his collar bones. “Juliet, look at me.” He put a finger to her chin and lifted her face. “You have nothing to apologize for. This doesn’t change how I feel about you. Doesn’t change how much I want you. It only helps me understand you.”

“Promise?” she whispered.

“Promise.” He shifted a little, freeing an arm to grab his wine glass, doing his best to look casual. “Tell me why you did it.”

Her eyes flickered to his. “I was curious.” She shrugged. “It seemed like a safe way to experiment.”

“I get that. And I’m not gonna lie, I love that you’re so willing to try new things, but why did you need a contract? Why did you need a relationship like that? One that was so cold and clinical? All rules and obedience?”

Juliet bit her lip and pursed her eyebrows together. “I’d never really thought about it. Just came with the territory, you know? But, honestly, it was safe to relax into it. I was tired of having to guess my way through life. The contract gave me clear things to do and not do. I knew exactly which actions were good and which were bad. What would lead to reward and what would lead to punishment. It was soothing after a whole life of making it all up on my own and not knowing if I was doing any of it right.” She sighed. “That sounds so weak…”

“From what I gather, you’ve been making hard decisions for a long time, probably since way before you were ready. When you think about it, it makes sense.”

“You really think so?”

“Yes. I really do.” Ian slid out from underneath her and reached out. “Come with me.”

He hated the way her hand trembled when she placed it in his. Couldn't stand to think about all the things that had made her this fragile. He was going to fix it, damn it, all the little things that life had broken in her. All the careless people in her life had taken her for granted and he was going to make her feel like a queen for a change. Ian took both their wine glasses in one hand and led her back into the kitchen. She protested when he filled hers and handed it back to her.

“My head’s already spinning. It’s probably a bad idea.”

“You afraid to get dangerous with me?” Ian still had her hand and he gave it a squeeze, looked her deep in the eyes and leaned in. “Stop worrying about being so perfect all the time, about always making the right decision. Sometimes, the wrong ones are the best ones. Besides, I promise I’ll keep you safe.” Her lips parted and he heard her sharp intake of breath. Saw fear dance with trust in her wide eyes. She took the glass he offered and sipped from it, and then followed as he led her up the stairs and into his bedroom.

“Take another drink.” He smiled at her and she did as she was told and he most definitely liked that. “Another.”

“Ian…”

“Another,” he said with more force. She liked domination? He was more than willing to play that game.

Juliet took another drink and waited for him. Damn, if she wasn’t beautiful. He could just look at her all day.

And if she’d spent too many years struggling to find true north, feeling scared and alone, scared enough to think a relationship with a sadist pain-monkey who needed to demean her in order to feel powerful, then Ian Moore was the man to make all that right.

N
ever in all
her life had Juliet felt so vulnerable. So out there in the open, all her secrets on display. So in need of contact and reassurance. Ian’s silence downstairs had sent her head reeling, her stomach dropping about a million feet down into the earth’s core, taking any kind of logical thought with it. Her head was a mess of emotion and reaction and now, here she was, standing in Ian’s bedroom, waiting to discover just how much she’d messed things up.

“Put your glass down, Julz.” Her heart spasmed to hear him use her childhood nickname for the first time. “And get undressed.”

If her nickname had brought a spasm, his order brought on a full body paroxysm. Nerves jumped around in her hand and she hated to watch it tremble as she deposited her wine glass on his bedside table. Being with Ian usually made her feel powerful. Secure. Not now. Right now she was weak and worried and uncertain. She dropped her eyes to the floor and reached around to undo the zipper in the back of her dress. Her hair fell over her shoulders and covered her face from view.

“Look at me.” Ian’s voice, while stern enough to command her attention, held affection, too. The combination melted all the doubt and uncertainty and filled her with confidence. Ian would take care of her. He’d make her safe. He had said it over and over, and proved it time and again. She tossed her hair, getting it out of her face and over one shoulder, and looked Ian in the eye. If his voice had turned her on, his expression set her on fire. His eyes blazed into hers, hooded and passionate.

Ian wanted her.

There was power in that. Power and confidence.

Holding eye contact, she pulled the zipper down and shrugged out of her dress. It pooled at her feet on the soft carpet and Juliet stepped out of it. She stood in her white lace bra and panties, watching his eyes travel her body. Feeling brave, she ran a finger over her collarbone, traced it down her chest, over the swell of her breast, and circled a taut nipple.

“Damn if you’re not amazing.” Ian’s voice was thick with lust and it brought goosebumps flaring across Juliet’s arms. “Lie down,” he said, indicating his bed.

“Yes, Sir.” The response was automatic, brought on by the authority in his voice.

“No,” Ian said, crossing the room to her as she stretched out on top of his goose down cover. “I don’t want you sir-ing me.” He stroked her cheek and she turned her head into his hand, needing even more contact. “You and me? We’re equals in this, you got me?”

Juliet nodded and smiled.

God, she wanted him. She wanted his hands, roughened by hard work, to trail down her body, to touch her everywhere. She wanted his damn clothes off so she could enjoy looking at him. So strong, so capable. And she wanted her hands on his velvety dick, wanted to move them up and down his shaft, watch his eyes roll back in his head as she brought him pleasure.

“I need you to say it.” Ian traced a finger from the soft spot of her neck, down between her breasts, and right on down towards her belly button. She arched her back, her desire for him to continue on down becoming a physical need. “Say you understand.”

“I understand.”

“What do you understand?”

If he didn’t touch her again, she might explode. “That we’re equals.”

“That’s right, you and me, we’re in this together. And you never have to worry again because I got you.”

“I like the sound of that.”

“Do you now?” He dropped a finger down onto her stomach, that spot between her hip bones, and started tracing downwards. Tucked it under the waistband of her panties and stopped. Juliet moaned and arched her back, needing him to go lower, needing contact and friction. “And I think I know something else you’ll like.”

He withdrew his hand and stood. Her eyes flew open and she watched him cross the room to his closet, disappear inside, and come out with something held in both hands behind his back.

“You say you like the BD way more than the SM? Well, here’s the good news. Me, too. I like it a lot. I’m going to tie you up and dominate you, angel. And you’re gonna like the way I do it, because I’m very giving. It gives me pleasure to give you pleasure and you’re gonna come for me all night long. Understand?” He waited for Juliet to nod before continuing. “And Juliet? You ever feel uncomfortable, you say the word and I’ll stop. I don’t need to make you feel small in order to feel big.”

Ian brought his hands out from behind his back and showed her what he’d been hiding. Rope. Yards and yards of smooth, black rope. Her eyes went wide and she smiled despite herself and a shock of adrenaline coursed through her body and pooled between her legs. He took his time binding her wrists, pulling the knots taut, stopping to stroke her arms and trail kisses along her jawline. Juliet writhed, desperate for more of his touch. Once her wrists were bound, he ran the rope through the slats of his headboard and finished things up with a strong pull on the knot.

“Do you like that? Being bound?”

Juliet met his eyes and nodded.

“Good girl. I like it when you look at me. But I like it more when you use your voice.”

“Yes,” she managed. “Yes, I like it a lot.”

“You said you don’t like pain, but when I slapped your ass that first night, you sure seemed to want more.” Juliet blushed and dropped her eyes, heat and need swirling through her body.

“I liked it,” she murmured, and then brought her eyes to his, needing the connection as much as he did. “The way you did it.”

“And what about this?” Ian brought his mouth to her breast, kissed her through the sheer lace of her bra. “Do you like this?”

She lifted her chest towards his mouth, the feather-light kisses just simply not enough. “Yes.”

Ian pulled her bra down, freeing her breast and sat back. “You have the most perfect tits. They’re absolutely jaw-droppingly perfect.” He traced a finger around her nipple, took it between his fingers and squeezed, gently at first and then harder. She moaned and he squeezed harder still, rolling it between his fingers.

“Do you like that?” he asked when she gasped.

“Oh, Ian! Yes!”

“And what if I do this?” Ian bent and took her nipple into his mouth and sucked, pulling her into his mouth so hard that she arched her back again. Moaning and groaning and feeling the moisture build between her legs. He stayed there for a while, alternating between sucking and biting, using his teeth to add light pressure to the sensitive skin. Just when she thought she couldn’t take it much longer, he drove a hand into her panties, his fingers grazing her clit. Her back arched and she cried out.

“Yes! That’s good. Please, Ian. More of that.” Her breath heaved in her lungs and she writhed against her bonds. He slid a finger between her folds, angling it so that it dipped inside her just the tiniest bit while still keeping pressure on her clit.

“Oh, look how wet you are. You do like this.”

The tip of his finger wasn’t enough. She needed the whole thing inside her and she needed it now. She bucked her hips forward, lifted them off the bed. “Please, Ian. I need…” She trailed off when he plunged his finger deep inside her for one mind-bending second and then gasped when he withdrew it.

“We may be equals, Juliet, but you have to remember, I’m in control. I’ll be inside you when I decide to be, no sooner.” He lifted her shoulders a little. “Now I have to punish you, you dirty girl. Flip over.”

“What are you going to do?” She met his eyes, needing to see that he wasn’t actually angry, that this was just all part of the game and found what she needed.

“Well, my angel, remember that spanking you got the first night we were together? You’ve earned yourself another one of those for being such a bad girl.” Ian’s tone of voice was commanding, but his eyes were kind and locked on hers, searching for even the tiniest bit of fear.

She remembered what he’d said. That she’d just have to say the word and he’d stop. Juliet’s heart thundered around in her chest and her stomach did a little nervous dance, but she did as she was told. Maybe it was the alcohol, but more than likely it was the fact that she trusted Ian to keep her safe. While she was on her stomach, he slid her panties off and tossed them on the floor. Ran his hands over her bare bottom and spread her legs, dipping his fingers into her again. First one, then two.

“When I decide,” he whispered and her inner muscles clenched around his fingers. When he pulled his hand away, Juliet groaned in disappointment. Ian put his hands on her hips and helped her up onto her knees. With her hands tied above her head, her face was turned to the side, half buried in the pillow, and her ass was up in the air. It made her feel vulnerable and exposed, but it meant she could see him. He slowly undid the buttons at his wrists. Untucked his shirt tails and then unbuttoned his shirt, his eyes fixated on her hips.

When his shirt was open, baring little sneaking glimpses of his torso, he rolled up his sleeves and kneeled beside her. He spanked her once. Not hard enough to really hurt, just hard enough to make a sound. He rubbed her, caressing the spot, then he spanked her again. Then he plunged his fingers deep inside her, moved them in and out, stroking her inner walls and damned if he didn’t find that sensitive inner spot. The spot only he knew how to find. Her ass stung a little, but it mingled with what he was doing to her now and only added to her pleasure.

“You like that, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she gasped.

He pulled his hand back and slapped her ass again. Once. Twice. It felt so good. She never thought it could feel so good. And then his fingers were inside her, his other hand reaching around to circle her clit and she cried out. Every time she felt close to climaxing, he withdrew his fingers, and spanked her again. The orgasm he was building had her quivering already. He brought his hand down on her, once, twice, not hard, but hard enough, and she waited for his fingers. Needed his fingers. And then there they were, plunging in and out, his thumb circling her clit and she came with a scream, harder than she ever had. Her muscles clenching tighter and tighter as he kept finding that spot inside her. There was truly no man like Ian Moore.

The bed shifted and Ian stood. She moaned again, feeling a little trail of moisture work its way down her inner thigh.

“You’re dripping, my angel. I like it.”

Juliet sagged on the bed and panted, trying to catch her breath. “You make me come so hard. I’ve never had orgasms like this before.”

“I like that, too.” Ian ran a finger between her folds and Juliet cried out. “Now you be a good girl for me and stay just like that. I’ll be right back.”

What? He was going to leave her? Legs quivering and body trembling? Helpless and tied to his bed? Ian swept from the room and she listened for him, heard the clink of ice on glass and the sound of him rummaging through a drawer. What the hell was he doing? It wasn’t long before he returned, carrying a bowl of something in one hand and a bandana in the other.

“Now there’s a view I could get used to.” He set the bowl down on the night stand. “Flip over, beautiful, let me see you.” Juliet did as she was told and Ian showed her what was in the bowl. Ice. He put a piece in his mouth and sucked on it, bent over her and trailed it around her hard nipples, little bits of water snaking down her sides. He played until it was melted and she was gasping again, goosebumps standing out on her flesh, water pooling in her belly button. The spot between her legs throbbed with heat and moisture.

Ian took another piece of ice from the bowl and held it in his mouth, scooted down the bed and parted her legs. Juliet lifted her head and watched him take the ice from his mouth and just barely touch it to her clit. Her hips bucked off the bed and she dropped her head back. He held the ice against her, circling on that little ball of pleasure and then pulled it away and replaced it with his mouth. The change from cold to hot was almost more than she could take. She cried out again, writhing beneath him. As he sucked and licked, he put the ice inside her opening, only to pull it out and replace it with his tongue. She was nothing but sensation, nothing but need. Her orgasm was building again, reaching even higher than before.

“Ian, I’m gonna come again!” she called out, so close to release.

“Do it. Come for me, Juliet,” he said and she did just that.

When her breathing slowed, Ian stood and shrugged out of his shirt, undid his pants and stepped out of them. She could look at him like this all day. His cock straining towards her, his eyes filled with lust. He didn’t speak to her this time. He spread her thighs with his knees and pressed his tip against her opening. She threw her head back and he groaned, sliding himself all the way inside her until he was fully sheathed. She lost herself in his movement, in the sensation of having him inside her. She pulled on her bonds and called his name, his hips rocking and rolling and gaining speed as his own climax drew close.

“Look at me,” he growled and she did, her teeth clenched and her eyes locked on his while he came with a shout, bringing her right along with him. He collapsed on top of her and she was surrounded by him, filled by him. His scent in her nose, her name on his lips, completely and utterly consumed by the amazing Ian Moore.