I look into his eyes and forget where I am, the party around me disappearing. I lean in to kiss him when I hear Dawson say madly, “I thought you were watching my brother.”
“I have been.”
“Doesn’t look like you’re even paying attention to him. Look.” He points.
All I can see are Braxton’s arms wrapped around two girls, who seem to have him pinned to a tree.
“Shit,” I say, leaving both him and Aiden.
“Sorry, girls, he’s mine,” I say, pulling him away.
“Jeez, you don’t have to try and seduce the entire school your first night here.”
“Oh, I’m not, baby,” he says slurs drunkenly. “I’m just planting seeds.”
“You better have not planted any seeds,” I reply, thinking back to the book my mom read me when I was little. About how the daddy plants a seed in the mommy that turns into a baby. Ick.
Dawson whispers in my ear. “I want to plant my seeds in you. Wanna go back to the dorm and have some fun?”
I turn around. “Ohmigawd. Did your mom read you that book too?”
“Yeah,” he laughs. “I used to tell all the little girls at school that I wanted to plant seeds in them.”
I roll my eyes and laugh. “That’s disgusting, but why am I not surprised? And because your brother opened his big mouth about the party, I’m not only watching him, I’ve got to watch Katie’s and my two future students.”
“Those girls don’t look fourteen.”
“That’s why they have to be watched.”
“Who’s watching them? Because I just saw that blonde one making out with Dallas.”
“Dallas? What the fuck? I thought he was off with Chelsea getting laid. Is no one here responsible?” I start to march off, but then turn around and grab Dawson’s shirt. “Get your brother to Riley’s room, now. I’ll go get the girls.”
I march off in search of them. I find Katie, who is engrossed in a conversation with Bryce. “Where are the girls?”
“What girls?” she says, looking up at me.
“Embry and Pressley. The girls you’re supposed to be watching like a hawk.”
“Oh, they’re together talking to Shark. He’s harmless.”
“Katie! He’s going to give them each a flask and they’ll end up under some asshole like Tyrese. Go. Find. Them.”
“Oh, I didn’t think of that.”
I spy Embry standing off to the edge of the party, Shark’s flask in hand, flirting with Jake.
“Hey, Jake. Embry. How’s it going?”
“Good,” Embry says, placing a hand on Jake’s broad chest. “Jakey here was telling me how great Eastbrooke is. He’s a prefect, you know.”
“I do know. Jake, could I talk to you for a moment?”
I pull him out to where she can’t hear. “She’s fourteen.”
“Calm down, Monroe. I know that. She was talking to Tyrese. She seems kinda drunk and I didn’t want anything to happen to her.”
I give Jake a big hug. “I love you. Thank you.”
“You wanted me to lose today.”
“I know. Jake, do you really like Maggie?”
He shrugs. “She’s fun. Cute.”
“Are you serious about her?”
“I don’t want to be serious about anyone right now. I told you that.”
“But you’ve been hanging out. You kissed her in front of everyone today.”
“She’s still in love with Logan, regardless of what she says. I know that’s why she kissed me today. I don’t want to be anyone’s second choice. Been there. Done that. So, whatever we do will only be in the name of fun.”
“You really are a good prince.”
“You want me to help you get everyone back to the dorms, don’t you?”
“I would love your help. But that’s not why I said you’re a good prince. Any girl would be lucky to have you. Mr. Chameleon.”
“Ha. You’re exactly the same way. Don’t laugh, but I think it would be really cool to be an actor. I kinda want to skip the whole Ivy League thing and go to NYU to study acting. What do you think?”
“I think you should follow your dreams, wherever they take you.”
He wraps an arm around my shoulder, kisses my head, and says, “That’s why I love you, Monroe. Oh, and by the way, you can come with me when I break that news to my parents.”
“I’d be honored,” I tell him as we walk back to Embry, who, thankfully, is talking to Pressley.
Jake wraps an arm around each girl, gives them a princely smile, and says, “Ladies, allow me to escort you back to your dorm.”
The girls visibly swoon and, thankfully, don’t argue about leaving the party.
I find Katie, who has been frantically searching for the girls. “I can’t find them,” she says, panting a little.
“I did. Jake’s walking them back to our dorm. I’m going with them, so you can stay out.”
Her eyes get big. “Really? Thank you.”
“Why are you so excited?”
“Because Bryce is really cute!”
“And you are not drunk. I’m proud of you.”
She smiles. “I’m proud of me too.”
I round up Braxton, noticing along the way that Chelsea has Aiden cornered near a bush. Based on her body language, she’s pissed at him.
I’d really like to walk over there and kiss him.
But screw that. If Aiden wants her, I’d rather know now.
I drag Braxton, practically kicking and screaming, out of the Cave.
“I’m supposed to have the trio,” he cries.
And I mean, he cries.
He’s now drunk and sobbing.
I suck as a chaperone.
Actually, Riley sucks for letting him drink before he ever got here.
“Braxton, honey. You’re not ready for the trio. You have to work up to that.”
“I’m ready. I’m ready. Really, I am.”
“I need you to be quiet while we walk past the dorms, okay? Really quiet.”
“Okay!!” he yells.
I slap my hand across his mouth, shutting him up. Embry, Pressley, and Jake are standing by my window.
Embry immediately rushes toward us. “Is he okay?” she slurs sweetly.
Braxton grabs her hands, smiles big, and then proceeds to puke all over her shirt.
“Oh, gross!” she yells.
“Shh!” I say.
Jake pushes Pressley’s butt through the window and whispers to her, “Grab her a clean shirt.”
She falls into my room with a thud. And I pray that no one hears all this.
Please don’t let us get in trouble.
Braxton looks at the puke all over Embry. “My bad,” he says, trying to wipe it off her shirt.
“There’s no way I’m going to a movie with you now. You need to grow up!” she yells, backing away from him.
Then she gags.
And pukes on him.
An impressive projectile puke that I just manage to dodge.
“That. Was. Awesome,” Jake says to her.
She covers her face in horror, drops to the ground, and starts sobbing. “I wanna go home.”
I get out my phone and call Riley. “Get your ass to my dorm.”
“I’m kind of . . . in the middle . . . of something,” he says. He’s breathing heavily.
“I don’t care what you’re doing. I’m in the middle of a puke fest. Put it back in your pants and get your ass here.”
“Hang on . . . just a little . . . Oh . . .”
I hang up on him.
Fortunately, Dawson strolls through the trees instead.
I grab Braxton and shove him toward Dawson. “Take him to your room.”
“No. He smells.”
“Then take him to Riley’s room and stay with him until Riley’s finished with whatever he’s doing.”
Dawson rolls his eyes at me, grabs his brother by the back of the neck, and drags him away.
“You’re not my favorite girl anymore, Keatyn,” Braxton says, stumbling, his little drunk body no match for Dawson’s strong one.
“One down, one to go,” Jake says.
I bend down next to Embry, tell her everything will be okay, unbutton her puked-on blouse, pull a clean shirt over her head, and then let Jake shove her butt through the window. Fortunately, she lands on Pressley, so there is no thud.
I stand next to my window. “Thanks for your help, Jake. I really appreciate it.”
He looks up at the sky. “Look at us. Standing under the moon just like in the play. I feel like I should give you true love’s kiss.”
I just stare at him, not sure what to say.
“You haven't been into it lately.”
“What do you mean?”
“Since you and Dawson broke up, it’s affecting you on stage. It's like you don't believe in it anymore.”
He grabs my hand and pulls me further into the moonlight.
“Script it,” he says. “I see you writing during rehearsal and during ceramics.”
“Those are just my journals. I used to write scripts. Stories. How I wanted my life to be. But lately, I don't know what to script.”
“That’s the problem. You used to feel it. You need to feel it again. Close your eyes,” he says softly. “You're in the moonlight with your true love. The Good Prince. What does he do to you? How does he make you feel?”
I close my eyes as Jake runs his hands down the sides of my arms. “Safe,” I reply.
He puts his hand in my hair. “How else?”
“Relaxed. Like a day at the beach.”
“You're comfortable with him.”
“Yes.”
“What's he look like?”
I shake my head. “I don't know.”
He touches my chest. “What does he do to your heart?”
“He can calm it down or make it beat fast. He makes it feel like it could be ripped from my chest. Like if I loved him or gave him another chance and it didn’t work, I'd never be the same.”
My eyes are still shut, but tears start rolling down my face.
Jake wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his chest. “Keep going.”
“We're on the beach in the moonlight. I made a wish there.”
“What did you wish for?”
“Him. My good prince. We’re at my house. On my beach. He wraps his arms around me and tells me he wished on the moon too. That even though it hasn't been easy, even though we're not perfect, we’re perfect for each other. That he loves me with his heart, body, and soul.”
“And then they kiss,” he says breathlessly, putting his lips on mine.
I kiss him. My perfect boy.
“Marry me?” he says, waking me from my daze.
I open my eyes. Jake is on his knee finishing the last scene of the play.
I hear Pressley clap.
“Yes,” I say.
He stands up and gives me a big hug. “That was much better. Don’t let your real life get in the way of your dream. Night, Monroe.”
As he walks away, I look up at the moon and can’t help but wonder if he’s looking at it too.
Aiden startles me. “So now you’re kissing Jake too?”
“What? Oh, no. We were practicing for the play. If you saw us kiss, you must have seen him propose.”
“I did. Just didn’t love the kiss.”
I hang my head. “He says since I broke up with Dawson, I’m not as believable. That it’s like I don’t believe in love anymore.”
Aiden cocks his head. “Do you?”
I look back at the moon. “I want to.”
Pressley helps me get Embry cleaned up and they both quickly fall asleep on the floor.
I think about what Jake said about not letting my real life get in the way of my dreams.
I think about Vincent.
About how he’s keeping me away from my family. Away from my life.
As I stare at the stars glowing on my ceiling, Aiden’s quote pops into my head.
“The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of.”
The heart has its reasons.
Does my heart have reasons?
And, if so, how can I reason with my heart?
Or is that the point?
Reason and thinking shouldn’t play a part in what your heart feels?
But how can it not? We have to protect ourselves. Protect our hearts.
Don’t we?
Isn’t that what Mom told me? Don’t give away your heart easily.
Although, in that case, I think she was referring to my body more than my heart.
“The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of.”
So, reason can’t be a part of love.
You just have to feel it.
Like Jake made me do tonight.
I think.
Sunday, October 23rd
A target date.
7:30am
Annie barges into our room, deftly leaps over the still-sleeping girls, and jumps on my bed. “I need to talk to you.”
“You’re really nervous about your parent’s party today, aren’t you?”
“I was, but now I’m kind of freaking out about something else.”
“What?”
“We set a target date.”
“A target date?”
“The date we’re going to have sex.”
“Oh.”
“Oh, gosh. That doesn’t sound very romantic, does it?”
“No, it doesn’t. Did he say that?”
“No! I just mean we decided the day that we’re going to do it. It’ll be after Winter Formal. We’ll be all dressed up. We’ll dance all night. Go to a hotel.”
“When is Winter Formal?”
“It’s in December.”
“So are you freaking out because that’s too soon?”
She clasps her hands together and confesses, “Fine. Last night, we almost did it. Like it was right there. He had a condom. I told him I wanted to.” She unclasps her hands and covers her face. “He said no!”
“He did?”
“Yes. And I started crying. Like, I bawled.”
“What did he do?”
“He got dressed, said he was sorry, gave me an awkward hug, and left. It was so embarrassing. And now I’m supposed to take him home with me!?”
“Has he texted you or anything?”
“No!” She starts crying. “We talk about our future all the time. We’ve named our children. Decided on our careers. Planned out college.”
“What was the situation?”
“What do you mean? We were in my room, basically naked. I still can’t believe I’ve even let him see me naked. Well, in-the-dark naked.”
“Do you think that’s why he said no?”
“Because the lights weren’t on?”
“No, silly. You’ve been telling him that you want to wait. Maybe he wanted to mess around but not do it. Maybe the fact that you wanted to do it surprised him and he was afraid you’d regret it.”
“It was that damn Gods of Olympus costume. He looked so hot all day.”
Her phone buzzes in her hand. She drops it on the bed and closes her eyes. “You look.”