Love Me Like That (13 page)

That’s the first allowance I made for Brian Weston.

“I’m ready to go, Brian,” I slur my words. He glares at me but then his face changes back to the Brian everyone loves. I don’t want him mad at me, but I never wanted to come to this damn frat party to begin with. Now I’m drunk and too tired to keep up with it and his mood swings.

I still can’t believe this gorgeous creature has picked me. We go out and party more than I like, but that’s just part of dating one of the most popular guys at school.

We get in his car, and I close my heavy eyelids as he drives me home. I doze as the car drives on, the jostling rocking me to sleep. I know he shouldn’t be driving since he’s been drinking much more than I have. He always assures me that he’s fine, and he can handle his alcohol.

“Come on, baby girl.” I look up, and Brian is standing beside my open car door. Thankfully we made it to my dorm safely.

I stand and start to walk past him as he slides his arm around my back and leads me inside.

I look up and stop. “Brian? Why are we here?” We’re climbing the front steps to his frat house, which is eerily quiet since everyone is across town at the other party.

“I want you to stay here tonight,” he whispers in my ear.

I smile weakly. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” My hands begin to shake mildly. I know what he wants; he’s been begging for it since the first time we went on a date.

He wasn’t actually mean to me, but he was confused and a little pissed off that I was a virgin. Well, he wasn’t mad that I was a virgin; that actually turned him on. What he was mad about that first date and every time we went out since was that I wasn’t willing to just sleep with him because he was in the mood. I’d let him finger me twice, and I even attempted oral sex with him once, but I’d never let it go that far.

Despite my objections, I still let him lead me into the house and up the stairs to his room. The slam of his door startles me.

He kisses me and, of course, I kiss him back. I love kissing him. I fantasize about his mouth all over my body daily. He grips my ass with both hands and squeezes. I wince because his grip is a little too tight. He moans at my reaction, getting turned on by my pain.

Sliding his hands up my dress, he begins to lower my panties down my thighs. This is different. The times he touched me before he always left them on, sliding his hand inside the fabric.

“I’m…I’m not ready for this,” I tell him.

He releases me, but my panties are still on the floor around my ankles. He takes a step back, and I love the desire I see in his eyes. His eyes stare into mine as he tugs his shirt over his head and works the front of his jeans open.

I shake my head back and forth as he steps out of his clothes and stalks toward me completely naked. I hold my hands up in front of me, an attempt to ward him off. “Wait,” I say with a tremor in my voice.

“Wait? Waiting is all I’ve done.” I stumble back and realize my mistake as soon as the back of my thighs bump against the side of his bed. “I’m tired of waiting; I’m tired of being teased.”

He takes the hand I’m pushing against his chest with and drags it down his stomach to his erection. I close my eyes as a tear rolls down my cheek. I jerk my hand away, and he snaps. I open my eyes and see the anger and rage on his face.

He rips the front of my dress open and yanks the cups of my bra down, exposing my breasts to him. I shove against him again as he reaches in and pinches one nipple painfully. I scream when he bites the other breast.

Shoving me down on the bed, he overpowers me and is in between my legs before I can stop him.

“Please, Brian. Don’t do this. I’m not ready.”

“You’ll never be ready if we keep at your pace.”

He slams into me, and the pain is excruciating. I try to claw at him to get him to stop, but he just grabs my arms and forces them over my head. He’s so much bigger than me; every attempt I make to get away from him is met with an even greater show of force.

“You’re hurting me!” I scream. My voice is the only thing I have left; he controls everything else.

“You feel so fucking good, baby girl.” I buck under him trying to get away. “It’s supposed to hurt your first time. This beautiful gift you’ve given me. I’m the only one that will ever be inside you like this.”

He’s crazy. He’s lost his damn mind. He’s stolen from me the only thing I had left to give anyone. I sob under him, unable to do much else. Finally, he grunts his climax.

Not moving from between my legs like I’d hoped he would he leans down to kiss me. I turn my head and his lips land on my neck rather than his intended target. The tears are still falling, and all I want to do is curl up in a ball and disappear.

“That was amazing, baby girl. I love you,” he whispers against my skin before rolling off me to my side. “Fuck I’m drunk,” he mutters just before his breathing evens out telling me he fell asleep.

I’d always wanted a man that loved me to take my virginity. This was in no way part of that fantasy. I stay quiet for a few more minutes before climbing out of the bed and away from Brian. Numb, I grab his t-shirt and pull it over my head to cover my exposed breasts and leave his frat house.

I knew when I woke up this morning what I had to do, but that didn’t make it any less daunting. Brian has called twice already this morning wondering where I was and why I didn’t stay the night. He was so calm, sweet, and loving on the phone that I’m wondering if in my semi-drunken state last night I might have blown things out of proportion.

I let the third call go to voicemail as I walk into the on-campus clinic, surprised they are open on Saturday.

An hour and a half later I’m leaving the clinic with a dose of Plan B and a year’s worth of birth control. A condom wasn’t used last night, and a baby is the last thing we need. They also gave me a brown paper sack full of condoms with strict instructions to use them the first month I’m on birth control.

I put my phone to my ear and listen to the message he left while I was in with the doctor.

“Hey, baby girl. I miss you already. I’ll be by your dorm around noon to take you to lunch. I think that Chinese place you like over on Commerce sounds like a good idea. Can’t wait to see you. I love you, London.”

We both had too much to drink last night. I’m sure he didn’t mean to be so rough with me. I can’t make a really big deal about it since I was planning to give him myself eventually anyways. He loves me, and I love him.

I head to my dorm to get ready to see him with a smile on my face.

“London!” Brian calls from his bedroom.

I’m in the bathroom putting on my makeup, getting ready for the party. “What is this shit?” I cringe at the tone of his voice as he walks into the bathroom and stands behind me.

I look down at his hand and freeze. Without responding, I quickly gather my things, stuffing them into my makeup bag and walk back to his room. I’d rather have this argument in here than in the hall. I’m tired of the sympathetic looks from the other guys in the house every time we argue.

I wince when he grabs my arm and swings me around to face him. I rub the tender area that’s still bruised from the last time he grabbed me.

“Explain this shit!” He bellows, spittle shooting out of his mouth.

“Why were you in my purse,” I ask stupidly, knowing it’s only going to make matters worse.

The rage streaming off of his body is almost palpable. Suddenly he drops the packet of birth control pills on the floor and slaps me across the face. The fire from the contact spans half of my face and forces my head to swing to the side; my eyes are suddenly tearing up from the pain.

I hold my head to the side and cover my face with my hands in complete shock. We argue and fight all the time, but he’s never hit me before. He may grab me and try to shake some sense into me when I'm stubborn, but he’s never gone so far as to strike me with his hands.

“Fuck!” He screams and pulls me against his chest. I’m trembling and terrified. “Why do you purposely piss me off?”

I whimper against his shirt, not sure of how to respond, afraid that saying something will only make him angrier. He leads me to his bed and forces me to lie down in his arms. I keep my eyes clenched tight. I want to reach up and touch my cheek. It’s still on fire, and I’m certain it’s starting to swell, but I know ignoring it is the best course of action.

That’s what we do. He does something he later forgets, and I act like it never happened.

“I shouldn’t have hit you, baby girl. No more birth control. I’ve told you more than once I want you pregnant.” I nod my head in agreement against his chest terrified of arguing with him.

We never make it to the party because I couldn’t cover the hand print on my face enough to be seen in public. Instead, Brian made love to me all night and whispered apologies in my ear, vowing never to hurt me again. It was one of the better nights we’d had together.