Love Notes (23 page)

As I drive away, the place I steer Lexie to, is Tori's house. Her mom was so nice the first and only time I’ve seen her in person. As I near her house, I know it’s time to come clean and explain everything. They deserve to know. Tori deserves to know. I’ve kept quiet long enough. I pull into the driveway and sling my bag around my shoulders as I walk up to the door. I ring the doorbell and try to pat my hair down, so I don't look like a nutcase the minute the door is opened. The minute the door is opened, I realize I never even took the time to assess the damage done to my face. Oh, my.

The minute the door opens and Tori looks at me I know it must be bad, the look on her face says enough.

“Oh, my gosh Charlie, what happened?”

“Well, my dad's hand made it’s way across my face.” I respond.

She steps to the side and grabs my hand, carefully pulling me inside. She’s being extra careful with me, like I might break at any second. What she doesn’t realize is that I’ve learned something about myself tonight. I’m a lot stronger than I ever thought possible. If I can deal with this, then I can deal with anything.

“Charlie what happened that he would ever raise his hand to you? No one deserves this ever. Mom,” she hollers, “We need you in here please.”

Without so much as a question, in walks Tori's mom, Shelby. The moment she walks in, she immediately stops in her tracks and gasps, “Oh, my gosh Charlie, what happened?”

“Well it's a long story, you may want to sit.” Tori immediately pops up from the couch. “Nope, we have got to get you ice girl. Have you even looked at yourself yet?”

All I can do is shake my head. “Come on, follow me. We'll stop in the bathroom so you can look and then we’ll head into the kitchen for an ice pack..

I had stopped crying on the way over to Tori's. I think I was somewhat in shock to be honest. However, the moment I walk into the bathroom and look at my reflection, I start crying all over again. Not bawling, but silently crying. It’s red, puffy and swollen as all get out. In fact, he hit me so hard, that he left a massive imprint of his hand and it’s starting to turn different colors. It’s in the first stage of bruising and it is only going to get worse. I don't want to look at myself anymore, so I immediately turn around and follow Tori into the kitchen.

As soon as we are settled back onto the couch, I start my tale. My long depressing tale. I tell them of the abuse that I had finally realized wasn't normal. How I had taken the name calling and the blatant ugly and weight comments longer than I ever should have, and for as long as I could remember.

Tori muttered, “Well that sure explains it.” She doesn't even have to embellish, because I know exactly what she means.

Meanwhile, Shelby sits there horrified beyond belief and reaches for my hand, holding it the whole time. She never looks at me with pity though. Only caring. I get to the confrontation that I had with mom when I was in the hospital and how she had nothing to say and never batted an eyelash. Shelby is listening intently and silently crying for my pain. I think the worst part for them was hearing about my dad slapping me. Telling it to Shelby caused her to start shaking her head and she started to get really pissed. The kicker of the whole story for Tori's mom was hearing about my dad not being my biological father and how my mom reacted.

Shelby immediately tilts my head up to look at her. “Charlie, I met you just one time. One time. That's all it took for me to see how special of a girl you are. I am so glad that Tori has befriended you. You are such a beautiful, smart and sweet girl and why they can't see that is their problem. Not yours, but theirs. You aren't going back to that house that's for sure.”

I can't help but feel relief wash throughout my whole body. However, I'm starting to think this may be easier said than done. “Give me your number Charlie.” Shelby says. I start to argue and she can see the reluctance written all over my face. “Nope, I will take care of it, don't you worry.” she says.

I sit there still as a statue while Shelby makes the call. I can hear her speaking into the phone, but truth be told I don't want to hear, so I follow Tori up to her room. Tori and I sit there in silence and just wait for Shelby to make an appearance.

Finally, Shelby walks upstairs and says, “You won't be going back there Charlie. You’ll stay here, with us.” At this surprising turn of events, I start to ask how? “It wasn't hard Charlie, all I had to do was threaten to take you to the police station. I told them I had taken pictures of your face as evidence. I'm sorry to tell you that your mom is also sticking with your dad on this one. I'm sorry, she isn't the mom that you deserve.”

I’m sad, but I actually also feel relief. Things with my mom have been wrong for so long. “Thank you Shelby. Really, I know you don't have to do this and I won't be any trouble. I promise.”

“I know you won't Charlie. You can have the room down from Tori. It's the spare bedroom and we’ll make it yours.”

Her kindness astounds me. She doesn't even know me. Not really and here she is offering her home to me. I must have a worried look on my face, because she looks at me and gets up and pulls me into a hug.–a Mom hug.

The last time I was hugged by a mom, it was Carol, Maverick’s mom, which fills me with another sadness. It causes me to start crying all over again. I'm assuming the effect of a mother's affection is a lot for me to digest. It's so foreign to me. Sad isn't it? I cling to her and cry even harder. She comforts me and rubs my hair on my head, like a mom is supposed to do. She holds me until I’m all cried out then pulls back some. “I want you to feel welcome here. I'm not perfect and you may get angry at me from time to time, but I will never holler, hit or demean you.

All I can say in response is, “Thank you.”

“You girls get some sleep. Charlie, don’t worry about school in the morning.”

I nod yes and Tori guides me to the spare room, which is now mine. Tori has stayed silent this whole time, how I’ll never know. Until now. Now she says, “Charlie, I'm so sorry. I knew something was going on and that there had to be a reason why you were so insecure. I just never imagined.

“I mean, I even went and talked to Maverick.”

Well this is news to me and I'm kind of shocked. “You did what?”

“Don't be mad, but I did visit him in the hospital and I might have called him an ass hat. I was pissed and gave him hell, but you should know one thing.”

“Yeah, what's that Tori?”

“Well, what if I said he knew he was stupid and that he loves you and wants you back, but is trying to come to grips with his own issues? Just know that I think he regrets his hasty decision. He felt horrible and even let me holler at him and call him names, without interrupting, mind you for like ten minutes.”

“What was that today, then?” I ask. Tori sighs, “Look I can't speak for him, but I think it was just coincidental that “the bitches” were right there. You know how they are. Did he try to talk to you at all today?”

I start, “Yeah but…” “No buts, Charlie I know I'm right.”

This is just too much for me to process. Between all of the events of the night and my face killing me and not to mention the raging headache I have, from crying so much. I need sleep and I need it now.

Without another word Tori walks out. I shut the door, walk to the bed and crawl into it. The moment the sheets are pulled up, I feel peace and at home, oddly enough. I close my eyes and finally let sleep take me.

Chapter 41-Maverick

Have you ever had a thought and you just knew that something was wrong? Kind of like ESP. You think you're just crazy at first, but then to find out later that you were right about your feelings? This is how I have felt all day and all night long.

I’m lying in bed and all I can think about is her. The minute Charlie wasn't in choir class, which is her favorite class, I knew something was wrong. I knew it was because of me. I really wanted to talk to her. I know I acted like a coward this morning. I should have never looked away. I should have walked, no more like hobbled up to her and told her I was stupid. An idiot or every horrible name in the book. But I didn't.

I was worried though. My gut was telling me something was off. All I know is that I had to talk to her. I have to tell her how I feel about her and how amazing she is. Even if she tells me that she never wants to see me again, I need her to know. I owe her that.

Tomorrow, first thing I'm going to talk to her. I'm going to win ‘my’ Charlie back.

Chapter 42-Charlie

I wake up feeling like I have been run over by a freight train. I hear a knock on the door and see Shelby peek her head in. “How do you feel honey?” Well that was a loaded question if I ever heard one. “Truthfully, I don't feel good at all. How does the face look?” I ask. “Honestly, Charlie it looks awful.

“If you need me I will leave my number on the fridge. Call if you want to talk any time today.” Shelby turns to leave.

“Shelby?” I holler. “Yeah hon?” “I just want to say thank you. For everything.”

“Charlie, no thanks are needed, okay? But if it makes you feel better. You're welcome.”

No sooner do I lay back down, than Tori comes prancing in. “Do you need me to stay home with you?”

“Naw, I'll be fine, but thank you. The question is, will you be okay doing the program with Maverick tonight?” I ask her.

Tori starts laughing, “That's right, we weren't expecting him to be back and we’re singing a girly song. Well, if that isn't pay back I don't know what is. Okay, now I can't help it, because really this is rich.”

“Um, Tori,” I say. “He doesn't even know we changed the song.”

“Oh ye of little faith. Do not fear, he will by the end of class. I still want you to come to the performance tonight though. Just think what pleasure you will receive by watching him do this.” And with that said, she walks out laughing.

I lay back down and can't help but chuckle. It hurts though. Any movement of my face hurts. Ugh, I need sleep. I still haven't processed everything, but I did wake thinking about Maverick and everything Tori had told me last night. Of course, I still feel the pain from my parents. I will feel that forever I'm sure. I hope it will fade some eventually, but in some small way, I know it will always be there. All I know, is that I am beginning to see things so much clearer.

The more I think about this, the more I need to get up and get an Advil to help cut the pain of my face. I take a pit stop to the bathroom and decide I’m going to avoid looking at myself, but then something tells me to look. That I really need to see.

I decide to listen. As I look in the mirror, I take in the hand print that’s very visible on my face. It’s faded a little, but is still evident, as well as a little swelling, but thank goodness not anywhere near as bad as it had been last night. And perhaps, with a little bit of camouflaging make up, it will not be nearly as noticeable. After all, it will be dark in the auditorium and you shouldn't be able to tell.

I look beyond everything and for the first time, finally begin to see myself. Not what my parents see, but really start to see me. The more I look, looking past the bruise itself, the more I can see that I’m actually kind of pretty. I'm not saying that I had an epiphany all of a sudden and think I’m hot. Not at all. I'm just saying, I finally found something in myself, that I’d never seen before. I didn't see the same Charlie. I found a new and improved Charlie. One I really need to get to know a whole lot better.