Authors: C.Y. Dillon
The Bartender returns.
BARTENDER
Your boyfriend couldn't make it?
She shakes her head.
HARMONIA
We're only friends. We've never met
in person. He was supposed to be on
this boat, see if we could be more.
BARTENDER
So you're a free bird.
She gives him a curious once-over.
HARMONIA
You talk an awful lot like him.
BARTENDER
You said he's from these parts.
HARMONIA
His accent isn't as strong as yours.
Another customer sits. The Bartender takes care of business.
She stirs the last remnant of whipped cream into the cocoa.
The Bartender returns.
BARTENDER
You were right ticked when you came
in here. You must have been excited
at the prospect of meeting him.
HARMONIA
Mind reading again.
BARTENDER
First time on the river, sister?
HARMONIA
Yes. And the only time.
BARTENDER
No repeats, huh?
She eyes him.
HARMONIA
Am I that common?
BARTENDER
In my line of work you learn to read
people. You're the kind who keeps a
list of things you want to do in
this lifetime.
HARMONIA
Wow. You're psychic.
Another customer sits at the bar. The Bartender tends to his business.
Harmonia watches him with intrigue and murmurs to herself.
HARMONIA
You wouldn't. No, Orion, you know
better than to do that.
Mike slides onto the stool next to her.
MIKE
Will you have dinner with me? We
can at least be friendly.
She sags in defeat. She doesn't look at Mike.
HARMONIA
How could you do this to me, Ri?
Where is he going to sleep?
Mike's eyes widen.
MIKE
I swear, I won't touch you unless
you ask me to.
HARMONIA
I can't bear the thought--
MIKE
Don't be like that.
HARMONIA
--of another man touching me. Yes,
I said you could send a delegate,
but you had to know I was joking--
The Bartender returns to take Mike's order.
MIKE
Cape Cod.
HARMONIA
--I never thought you would take it--
MIKE
Listen, Harmonia. I swear to Ares
and Aphrodite, I won't even try.
I'll wear jammies.
She glares at him and bursts out laughing.
HARMONIA
Jammies? You can sleep on the floor.
MIKE
I have a bad back.
HARMONIA
Wonderful. How can you be a god
with a bad back? Orion is a god in
bed.
The Bartender laughs. He sets the drink in front of Mike and lingers within earshot.
MIKE
"What if I was in a wheelchair?" He
said you said--
HARMONIA
He said I said. Whatever. I said
it to him. Not you.
MIKE
I've read--
HARMONIA
What? What have you read? The Kama
Sutra?
MIKE
What's that?
Harmonia smirks.
HARMONIA
Look for it at Amazon. "Kama Sutra
for Dummies. " Being a god isn't about
what you do to body parts.
MIKE
Wow. Orion didn't say you're cruel.
HARMONIA
I'm being polite. Please go. See
if there's a lonely woman here who's
looking for company.
MIKE
That'd be you.
He sips his drink.
HARMONIA
It's not me.
She sucks the last of the whipped cream off the straw.
MIKE
Like it or not, that's what you are.
Lonely. Looking for your soul mate.
HARMONIA
Does Orion find you charming?
The Bartender laughs. She looks, inquiring, at the Bartender.
BARTENDER
Sorry. Occupational hazard.
HARMONIA
Who cares anyway? I'm sure I can't
make myself. Why did he send you?
MIKE
He says I could be your soul mate.
HARMONIA
Bull shit. He's testing me.
The Bartender tends to business at the other end of the bar.
HARMONIA
Do you know Eric?
MIKE
Sure I know Eric. He works at the
Flamingo.
HARMONIA
You're all poker dealers?
MIKE
I'm a hotel manager. Eric is a
player.
HARMONIA
What's he really like?
MIKE
Eric?
HARMONIA
Orion.
She gets a dreamy look on her face.
HARMONIA
It's the least you could do as a
gentleman. Tell me about him.
MIKE
Nothing special. You wouldn't notice
him if you met him in everyday life.
HARMONIA
Is he really a Sasquatch? Six-foot-
four and hairy all over?
MIKE
Harmonia, wake up. On the internet,
all a man's got to do is type what a
woman wants.
She grimaces.
HARMONIA
We've spent hours on the phone. I
like Orion for who he is inside. I
don't care what he looks like, really.
Is today his 30th birthday?
MIKE
Yes.
She looks quite sad.
HARMONIA
What is wrong with that man? What
is he doing? How could he possibly--
did his children plan something for
him?
MIKE
No. He hasn't heard from them in
years.
She shakes her head.
HARMONIA
Pitiful. The autistic one makes sense.
Why are the other two so upset at him?
MIKE
I wouldn't say if I knew.
HARMONIA
He must have done something. There's
something he's scared to tell me.
The Bartender tidies up nearby.
BARTENDER
If a man--excuse me, do you mind?
HARMONIA
Speak your mind. You intrigue me.
BARTENDER
Why, because I figured you for a
Peppermint Patty and a list-keeper?
HARMONIA
You sound so much like him. It's
almost like listening to him, which
I could for hours. Go on, give me a
dime's worth.
BARTENDER
If a man feels he's committed the
unforgivable sin, he'll carry that
secret to his grave.
The three of them ponder in silence.
The Bartender adds cherries and limes to a tray that's low on condiments.
Mike squeezes a lime into his drink.
Harmonia stirs whipped cream and licks the straw.
HARMONIA
I could forgive Ri anything.
BARTENDER
I reckon he can't imagine that.
HARMONIA
We've all committed the unforgivable.
The only way to live is to forgive
yourself first.
BARTENDER
Spill it, sister.
HARMONIA
Use your imagination. Whatever you
think it was, tell yourself it could
be worse. Then ask yourself if you
could still be kind.
The Bartender slips a cherry into his mouth.
HARMONIA
When do we reach the next port? I'm
getting off this boat. Orion is not
spending his birthday alone.
The Bartender and Mike jump.
BARTENDER
If a man wants to be left alone--
MIKE
--You should let him be.
HARMONIA
Nonsense. Friends don't let friends
do nothing special for their birthday.
BARTENDER
Why do you assume he's doing nothing
special?
Harmonia's expression changes to doubt. She looks to Mike.
HARMONIA
Would you tell me?
MIKE
I don't know everything.
Poker faces on the two men.
HARMONIA
Has he been yanking my chain? Why
would he? Has he been lying to me
all along? Damn, no way. Orion
knows I hate deception.