Love on Ice (Cannon City Series Book 2) (6 page)

She looked at him. “My bed was too short for you.”

“I was so happy. I didn’t get the chance to notice.” He set her down on the bed, with him between her legs.

Kate started to shake when he knelt down on his good knee. She sat up and put her hands against his chest. “Jay, we need to talk for a second.” She saw a question form on his face. He started to say something, but she put her fingers over his lips. “See, I’ve never done what I think you want to do.”

“But you’ve been with a man before me, right? You took me down into your throat this morning. I mean, you’ve done that before, right?”

“Yes, we were engaged and, yes, we had sex, but he never did that. I’ve read about it in books, but...”

“You’re telling me he never gave back to you?”

She nodded.

“What a jerk.”

Kate could see the wheels turn in his head. “I’m just a bit nervous and a little scared. I’m not sure what to expect.”

“Babe, I’m really glad you didn’t stay with that creep.” He put his hand around her thigh and rested his chin on her knee. “Did he make you take him in your mouth a lot?”

“He liked it, yeah.”

“I think I understand why you were so good with me this afternoon. Did he force himself on you?”

“No, I was young and so stupid and felt like I needed to do things like that to keep him happy. It was a long time ago and I want to be here with you. I just thought you should know why I started to shake. You seem to be able to tell when I do that.”

“Kate, I was brought up to give and share in a relationship. There’s none of this ‘give me pleasure to keep me happy’ crap. We give to each other and it’s fifty-fifty with me.”

She put her hand on his cheek. “Where did you come from? Mars?”

Jay started to laugh. “Yes, but I’m not green or gray.” He started to unbutton her shirt. “I’m going to do the work tonight. I want you to relax and let me give back some of the pleasure you gave me today. If you start to feel overwhelmed, call me Gimpy and I’ll stop.”

“Gimpy? I think I can remember that,” she said and let him take off her shirt.

“You have the most beautiful bras, but I want it off.”

Kate reached behind and unhooked the lacy bra. He slid it down her arms. She leaned forward and pulled his sweatshirt up and off. He moved up and pushed her farther onto the bed. She rested her head back on a pillow and watched him.

Jay lay down next to her and put his warm hand on her stomach. She looked into his eyes and felt warm and safe. She did have a knot in her stomach, but did her best to ignore it.

His lips lightly touched hers and kissed down her chin and neck. His hand cupped her breast as his lips continued to move down to her chest.

Kate felt warmth spread in her stomach and down her legs. An incredible ache started in her channel. She’d had it before, but never knew what to do with it, even with all the books she’d read. He put his lips on her nipple and bit lightly on the hard peak. His hand moved down to her pelvis as he licked and kissed her breast. She felt his fingers undo the top button of her pants and the zipper started to come down. His hand moved into her pants and his fingers maneuvered under the lacy panties she wore. She felt his middle finger move down and touch the button of her desire. He started to move the finger around it lightly and she started to feel an incredible excitement build in her body. She moaned and spread her legs out a little. When his hand came out of the pants, Jay stood up and started to pull her jeans down.

“You still with me, Kate?”

“Yeah,” she said and found herself out of breath.

When he got her totally stripped, he got down on his good knee between her legs and pulled one up. He kissed her ankle and bit it a little, which made her laugh.

Kate tried very hard to shut her brain off and just live in the moment. His lips and tongue moved along the inside of her leg and spread them further apart. His warm hands moved up the inside of her thighs and he propped her foot on his shoulder. One of his thumbs tickled over her folds and found her central spot.

“Oh,” she sighed and grabbed the quilt under her. The ache in her pelvis flamed up a notch and her back arched as his thumb plunged into her wet core. She closed her eyes as his lips continued to move along her legs and his thumb moved inside her. She released a moan and when his head was in the V between her legs and his tongue teased the nub, she lost her breath completely and grabbed at the headboard. She felt she might be sinking.

His fingers moved into her channel and his mouth covered her nub with his tongue dancing circles around her center spot. Kate felt a tingle flood her pelvis and legs and her back arched again as her breath got caught in her throat. The orgasm flowed over her and she wasn’t sure how long she’d sucked in air.

It hit her with all her fears and she felt sad. Now she understood what all the sex scenes in those books she’d read really meant. She felt tears run out of her eyes and when she opened them, she saw Jay propped up over her in a blur. She rolled away from him. Her ears buzzed and if he said anything, she couldn’t hear him.

Kate hadn’t spilled many tears for over eight years and started to sob with uncontrolled gasps. She didn’t want him to see her like this; wrestled out from under his body and got off the bed, with her hand over her mouth. She saw his sweatshirt on the floor, picked it up and made her way to the stairs. She pulled the shirt over her head and the size was so big it hung midway down her thighs. This made her cry harder.

Kate didn’t have a clue where she thought she would go. She saw the double doors that led out to the deck and went to it. She figured out the lock and stepped out onto the back porch. Through the flood of tears she saw steps going down to a dark yard. She sat on the top step and put her head on her knees. She wrapped her arms over her head and tried to figure out how to deal with all of this. Jay would want an explanation. Why did it pick now to spill over? Two minutes ago she was in heaven, but it opened something inside her and she’d descended to hell.

She felt Jay’s arms wrap around her and pull her into a tight hug. His lips were by her ear and she heard him whisper words to her, but couldn’t understand. He ran his fingers through her hair and held her close. When she started to calm down, he handed her some tissues and she realized she could hear what he said. He tried to hush her and apologized for being so aggressive.

Kate sat up and looked at him through a new flood of tears. “No...it’s not your fault...don’t think that.” She took in a deep breath and held it. Slowly she let the air out and leaned against his chest.

After a few more minutes, she said, in a very small voice, “I have to tell you a story.” She blew her nose and tried to figure out where to start. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him, as the tears continued to roll down her cheeks.

“See, there once was a little girl. When she was six or seven years old, she watched the winter Olympics with her father. She saw the figure skaters and told her parents she wanted to learn how to skate on the ice.” She blew her nose again. “So, the parents enrolled her in a class and she practiced really hard because she wanted to be as graceful as the skaters she’d seen.  The girl’s mother was an over-achiever though and started taking her to skating tournaments. When the girl turned ten, her mother hired a private coach. The coach was really nice and the girl learned a lot, but when she didn’t win any majors by the age of fourteen, the mother fired the good coach. She got the girl placed in a training center in Colorado Springs with a coach who turned out to be a tyrant. He yelled at the girl constantly and even hit her now and again.”

Kate thought for a minute and wiped her eyes. “Now, for some reason that no one could figure out, the girl could do triple jumps with no problems. For her, those moves were easy and they just came naturally. The new coach didn’t want the girl to do triples and made her practice doubles until her toes bled. The girl did fairly well and after she turned sixteen placed well enough in the regional’s to skate at the Nationals.”

Kate fell silent, again and moved away from Jay’s arms. She clutched the tissues in her hand and stared at the dark back yard. She could see everything that happened as though she watched it at a movie theater.

“One night about six months before nationals, the girl met a guy at some party. He was about ten years older than she and paid very special attention to her. He’d watch her skate and then take her to dinner. They went for walks and to the movies. In the first couple of weeks, he took her to bed and she lost her virginity. For a little while, the girl thought she was the luckiest person on the planet. Her mother even approved of the guy and made sure the girl started birth control. It would be bad if the girl got pregnant and all the mother’s dreams collapsed. This guy was attractive and very wealthy, and one day her mom said if she played her cards right, she could be set for life. About a month before Nationals the guy asked the girl to marry him when she turned eighteen. It was all going according to plan. The girl felt happy. This was the out she needed to get away from her mother and that wretched coach.

“The night before the short skate at the Nationals, the girl heard her mother talking to the guy. She said not to worry; he’d get paid after the Nationals when the endorsements came in. She said even if the girl didn’t win, she’d still place well enough to be able to make deals. She looked cute and had the jumps. Right now, all the guy needed to do was keep the girl happy. After Nationals, if he wanted to break off the engagement, then so be it.” Kate stopped the tears and swallowed. “The girl felt hurt and stunned by all that she’d heard. The next morning when she warmed up for the short skate she decided to go against the coach’s orders and skate the way she knew she could. In the program, she did the triple axel and a triple-triple toe loop. She landed them perfectly and placed fourth at the end of the day. Her artistry wasn’t the greatest, but she could do those jumps.

“In the locker room, after the skate, the coach went nuts. He was furious with the girl and said she’d done nothing more than show off. The girl smarted off and told the coach, she didn’t know what he complained about. If she managed to get into the top three his career as a coach would be made. The coach swung at her and hit her in the stomach. He swung at her again and hit her in the chest. She tripped over her skates and landed on a bench. Three of her ribs were broken and one punctured her lung. While she was in the hospital, the tube in her chest that helped her breathe, got infected and created adhesions in the bottom of the lung. She had to have surgery to remove the dead tissue and adhesions and part of her lung was taken out. While she recovered, she found out that the excuse for her withdrawal from Nationals was a twisted ankle. Her mother came in one day and started talking about next year being a good goal. It was an Olympic year, so the girl needed to focus her energies on that, but she would have to start paying attention to what the coach told her to do and not show off anymore. The girl found out that her mother talked to some skating company about her going on tour. The fiancé disappeared and she never saw him again.”

Kate looked at Jay and expected to see disappointment or pity on his face. She found he just watched her. The look on his face was sympathetic, but she didn’t want sympathy either. “That was eight years ago. When I could get up on my own and the staples were removed from my chest, I walked out of the hospital alone and hit the road. I dyed my hair dark brown and used to put on a lot of make-up. I did everything I could think of to change my appearance.

“At one point, I read about my disappearance. My mother said I’d had a mental collapse due to the pressures I’d been under at Nationals. They were very concerned and offered a reward for any information. My name is Stacy Douglas, but I haven’t answered to that name for a long time. I don’t know if my mother still looks for me, but if I keep moving, I think I can keep one step ahead of her.”

She stood up and moved toward the door. The tears rolled down her cheeks again. “Jay.” She looked back at him as he stood. “It’s a lot of baggage and I’ll understand if you’d rather not be involved with me. I’m not looking for pity. Frankly, I’m not sure what I’m looking for. Thank you for this evening. It was fun and a little mind-blowing.” She laughed. “I didn’t mean to break down. When I was seventeen and left the hospital, I swore I’d never cry again. I guess there were a few years stored up. I’ll need a ride home, if it’s okay.” It surprised her when Jay stepped up to her and lifted her into his arms.

“Babe, I do feel sympathetic, but really want to beat the shit out of a couple of people. Preferably with my hockey stick. Up until now I’ve never wanted to hit a woman.” He gave her a tight hug.

Kate wasn’t sure, but she thought she might continue to cry all night. He acted so sweet and although one of her major fears was being judged, he didn’t. He held onto her.

“I think the first thing we need to do is get an attorney and make sure for some crazy reason that bitch you called mother doesn’t have any legal hold on you. How old are you, anyway?”

“Twenty-five.” She leaned back. “Jay, I can’t afford an attorney.”

“I have a friend I grew up with and I think he’d be glad to help for a cut rate. In fact, he’ll be at the rink for Broom Ball.”

“An attorney who plays Broom Ball?”

“Yep, he’s great with a broom. I’ll arrange to talk to him before the game, all right?”

“Jay, you still want to do that and introduce me to your friends?”

“Of course. This doesn’t change anything between us.”

Kate got him to let her down. “I’m going back inside. It’s cold out here.”

They went into the living room and she sat on the couch. Jay grabbed a blanket off an overstuffed chair and put it over her legs. He leaned over and kissed her. “I’ll be right back. Someone stole my sweatshirt.”

“I can give it back.”

“No, I have more. Stay put.”

Kate put her feet on the edge of the couch and wrapped her arms around her legs. She heard him move around upstairs. She rested her chin on her knees and closed her eyes.

Something clunked in front of her and she opened her eyes. Jay set two glasses on the table and poured whiskey from a bottle into them. He handed her a glass and sat back.

“Drink this,” he said and tapped her glass.