“He was the Chinese guy?”
“Uh-huh. We met in music theory freshman year, and he was so adorably confused by everything. The only place he was comfortable was when he was singing or playing an instrument. We dated for, like, two, two and a half years. I thought it was love, back then. He was sweet and gentle, and I only wanted to be with him, but gradually I realized that we just didn’t, you know, click, somehow. It’s hard to explain.”
“But you did at first, though. What did that feel like?”
“When he touched me, even just taking my hand, it was like my whole world lit up. And when I didn’t see him for a while, there was this physical ache in my stomach. Not like I wanted to throw up, but just this sort of pain, and the only way to make it go away was to be with him.”
She looked over at him. “Is that the way it is with you and Miles?”
“Miles? No. No way.” But even as he denied it, he recognized the symptoms. He looked down at the warped wood of the dock. “Well, maybe a little.”
“Does he feel the same way?”
“It’s not like we’ve discussed it,” Gavin said. “Guys are different. We don’t talk about our feelings.”
“That’s because your feelings are so externalized,” Erica said. “You don’t have to ask a guy if he’s interested in you. Just look down.”
“Then I guess Miles is interested.” Gavin was determined to try to keep the secret because it might end up making trouble. “But I promised my dad that I wouldn’t screw around with Miles, and Miles is worried that a romance will mess up the way we all work together. That you guys might feel like he’s favoring me. Or that, I don’t know, somehow I’ll screw him over and that will ruin any chance he has of using us as a springboard for his career.”
“You two really have to talk,” Erica said. “Work out a way to be together, but work with the rest of us.” She stood up. “Come on. Let’s go inside and see if Miles wants to talk.”
At that moment, talking was the last thing Gavin wanted to do with Miles, but he went along with Erica anyway.
Miles was still in his studio, but he put down his headphones when Erica and Gavin walked in. “’Sup?” he asked.
“How did it go with Archie?” Gavin asked.
Miles groaned. “He’s such a ham, and he can barely sing a bar without jumping into beat-boxing.”
“I knew it!” Gavin crowed. “He’s always telling me I’m the family show-off.”
“You are,” Erica said. “He wants to compete with you.”
“With me? Why?”
“Because you’re who you are,” she said. “Don’t give me that dumb look, Gavin. You know how gorgeous you are and how the grannies and everybody else fawns over you. Archie thought he was being different by singing. Now you’re taking that over too.”
“How can I take over singing? You’re the one who’s the real musician.”
“But I’m a girl, doofus.” She shook her head. “Sometimes you are just completely clueless. Miles, see if you can knock some sense into him, will you?”
She leaned over and kissed Gavin’s cheek, then walked out.
Gavin slumped onto the bed against the wall. “I have no idea what that was all about.”
“Of course you do,” Miles said. “I figured out the family dynamics within about a half hour of being here. You’re the golden boy, and all your cousins are in your shadow.”
Gavin wasn’t unaware that he had good looks. He’d known that ever since he was in kindergarten and all the girls, and their moms, had begun to flock around him. But maybe because he was gay, even back then he’d disregarded them. He’d been Daddy’s boy, following Richard Kaczmarek around the car lot, fishing with him on the weekends, even though he hated it, trying to be just like his dad.
But he wasn’t like his dad; he was interested in boys, not girls. He used his looks to join the in-crowd, hanging around with the coolest and best-looking guys. When he was fourteen, he’d been on a camping trip with a couple of the guys and their dads, and the boys had snuck away to the woods, ending up in a circle jerk.
That was one of those big moments for him. Surrounded by a bunch of guys with their shorts open and their dicks out, he finally felt like he belonged. Nothing had come of that, in the end, and it wasn’t until he was a junior in high school that he had his first sexual experience with another guy. But that night in the woods had shown him his true path.
How could his cousins envy him, when he didn’t even want what they did?
He looked at Miles, who suddenly seemed embarrassed. “I’ve got some more work to finish before bed,” he said, looking down at his keyboard. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Gavin was about to agree but then stopped himself. “What are we doing, Miles?”
Miles looked up. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, were we only dating on South Beach? Because I don’t want that. That was…I mean…it was awesome, all right? And not just the sex. I know that I’m good-looking and all, but I get this feeling with you that you can look under that and see the real me. And it scares me that you won’t like what you see.”
Miles stood up and came over to Gavin. “The problem is I like what I see too much. You make me feel like Icarus, like I’m flying too close to the sun and I’m going to get burned.”
Gavin started to make a joke, pretending not to know who Icarus was. But he did; he had loved those Greek and Roman myths when he was in school. “That’s because Icarus was too cocky, and he went somewhere he didn’t belong.” Gavin opened his arms. “And you belong right here, with me.”
Miles stepped in close, and Gavin wrapped his arms around Miles’s back. They kissed, their lips just touching, and Gavin leaned his head in so that his forehead touched Miles’s. He stuck his hands beneath Miles’s T-shirt and caressed his back, feathering through the light hairs there.
Miles groaned and pulled Gavin close, their erections rubbing against each other through their pants. He leaned down and nipped at Gavin’s throat, and Gavin slid one hand below the waistband of Miles’s jeans.
Miles pulled back a bit and undid Gavin’s khakis, which dropped to the ground once released. Gavin was wearing a pair of loose boxers decorated with black and white cows against a field of green. Miles reached into the slit and grasped Gavin’s dick, and Gavin shuddered at the warmth of Miles’s hand.
He caressed Miles’s smooth hips as Miles jerked him, using his precum as lube. Gavin’s pulse raced and his mouth went dry. Then Miles released him, and his dick felt chilled by the night air wafting in through the open window.
“Think we can use the bed quietly enough so we don’t wake any of the grannies?” Miles asked.
“Why don’t you put on some low music, just in case,” Gavin said.
Miles turned back to his computer and started a classical piece Gavin didn’t recognize. While Miles was busy, Gavin tugged off his T-shirt and stepped out of his shoes and boxers. When Miles turned back to him, he was naked, his dick stiff and drooling precum.
“You are so gorgeous,” Miles said. “Like Michelangelo’s
David
.”
“But I’m not marble. Come here and let me prove it.”
Miles stripped in record time, leaving his clothes pooled on the wooden floor, and took Gavin in his arms, their bodies sliding against each other.
“I could do this for hours,” Gavin whispered in his ear. “Just hold you like this.”
“I doubt either of us could hold out for hours,” Miles said, and as if to prove his point, he began rubbing against Gavin, harder and harder, their dicks touching, their bellies slick with precum.
Gavin began to pant as he felt his orgasm rise. “I’m…I’m…”
“I’m right with you,” Miles said.
They rubbed together at a dozen places, from nipples to hips, and Gavin swallowed his yelp as he came against Miles. Miles kept going. Gavin’s dick was sensitive and painful, and yet he couldn’t stop, not until Miles came, until Miles was satisfied and happy.
It was only a moment or two longer, but Gavin felt suspended in that moment, giving himself to Miles, because that was the only thing that mattered.
Nobody Rides for Free
Archie went to the bank Friday, but Miles worked with the grannies all morning, focusing on ways they could overcome their individual difficulties. Gavin and Erica swam in the lake, and then after lunch, they spent a couple of hours with Miles in his makeshift studio, focusing on phrasing and breath control.
Around three thirty, Miles said, “I’m going to take off for that Zumba class.” He looked at Gavin. “You still want to come with me? It’s going to be tough.”
“Ha,” Gavin said. “I laugh at Zumba. Bring it on.”
Erica laughed, and Miles said, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. You want to come, Erica?”
“Not in this life,” she said. “But you boys have fun.”
“All right, Gavin,” Miles said. “Get your stuff and meet me out back in fifteen minutes.”
Gavin went upstairs to pick out the perfect workout clothes. He’d done a couple of Zumba classes in Miami. It was a fast-paced, dance-based exercise routine, more suitable for Latinos like his roommate Manny, who could swivel his hips like nobody’s business. But he was determined to show Miles that he could work out as hard as anybody, because he kept feeling he had to prove that he had what it took to be successful.
He knew he’d need maximum flexibility—while still taking the opportunity to show off his body. He settled for a scooped-neck white muscle T that clung to his chest and bright red nylon shorts that were slit almost all the way up to the waist. Miles was waiting by his car, wearing loose drawstring shorts and another rock concert T-shirt, though this one was too big and camouflaged his awesome chest. Had Miles been fat at one point, he wondered. And then he’d bulked up his chest? Maybe that’s why so many of his clothes were either loose or tight.
“What kind of class is this?” Gavin asked as he opened the door to Miles’s SUV. “Step? Toning?” He knew he was showing off but couldn’t help it.
“Basic Zumba, I think,” Miles said. “You know where the VFW Hall is in Eau Claire?”
“Yeah, it’s not far from my father’s dealership.” Gavin pulled one long, tanned leg up close to him, then rested it on the dashboard.
Somewhere on the highway, Miles asked, “You lived up here all your life?”
“In Eau Claire,” Gavin said. “We only used to come up to Starlit Lake during the summer.” He turned to Miles. “How about you? Always in Miami?”
“Uh-huh. When I was a kid, my parents bought a little ranch for my grandparents, back in Guatemala. My mom and I went down there for a couple of weeks most summers.”
“Is your family there musical?”
Miles nodded. “Kind of like yours, except everybody joins in, either singing or playing an instrument or dancing. And the music is very diverse—way more than Anglos think. Sure, we have salsa and merengue, but Guatemala was one of the first regions in the new world to be exposed to European classical music.”
Gavin sat back and listened as Miles talked about the different kinds of music he had played as a kid. Miles looked so handsome and animated, and Gavin felt privileged to be part of his world.
Miles pulled neatly into the parking lot of the VFW. “Let’s do this thing.”
Gavin hopped out beside him, careful as they walked inside not to get too close to Miles. It was Eau Claire, after all, not South Beach.
The girl running the class signed them in and took their money, and they joined a group in the main meeting room. Most of the others were middle-age women, but there were a couple of men as well. Two of them were there with their girlfriends, but one guy, a couple of years older than Gavin, was on his own.
He was also gay, and he gravitated toward them as soon as they walked in. “Hey, you guys must be new. I’m Joey.”
They all shook hands, but before they could start sharing life stories, the girl turned up the music and they started to work out. Miles and Joey knew all the moves, and both of them were very smooth. Gavin felt jealous of Joey, but the more he tried to keep up with them, the more he stumbled.
What if Miles was really looking for someone more like himself? A guy with Latin moves or music chops? He took a breath. This guy was no one, just a random gay in a town without very many. Gavin needed to get a grip.
Miles was right; though Gavin was in good shape, Zumba kicked his ass. He kept going, even though he felt like he was going to pass out, right up until the girl turned the music off. Then he fell to the ground.
“Are you all right?” Miles leaned down to him.
“I’ll survive. But you, you were amazing,” Gavin said.
Miles reached down for his hand, and Gavin gripped his. He was astonished that Miles still had so much energy and strength after that workout. Just his touch sent tingles to Gavin’s few body parts that weren’t completely exhausted.
Miles pulled Gavin to his feet. “That was nothing. In Miami, we dance a lot harder.”
“Is that where you guys are from?” Joey asked. “I’d love to move to South Beach.”
“I’m from there,” Miles said. “But Gavin here’s a hometown boy.”
“Really? What’s your last name?”
Gavin tried to speak without sounding too winded. “Kaczmarek.”
“Like the car dealer?”
“He’s my dad.”
“He and your mom come to the restaurant where I work all the time. They’re really nice people, and he’s a great tipper.” He leaned back and evaluated Gavin. “I can see where you get your good looks from.”
Miles interrupted. “Sorry to break up this lovefest, but we’ve got to get back to work.”
“What’s the restaurant?” Gavin asked as Miles put his hand on Gavin’s arm, ready to steer him out.
“Roman Hall,” Joey said. “It’s—”
“I know where it is,” Gavin interrupted. “We used to go there all the time when I was a kid. But the waiters back then were all these old Italian men.”
“They’re all dead now,” Joey said. “But I hope you’ll come by sometime. I get off at eleven.”
There was no mistaking what he meant. Funny, Gavin had been worried that Joey and Miles would hit it off. And now Miles was jealous of him.
Gavin said, “Have a good evening,” and then acceded to the pressure Miles was putting on his arm.
“What a slut,” Miles said when they got outside, and Gavin worried for a second that Miles was talking about him. “That guy was ready to fuck you in the men’s room.”