Read Love on the Rocks (with Salt) Online
Authors: Charlene Ross
Tags: #romance, #chick lit, #funny romance, #dating disasters, #chick lit romantic comedy, #funny chick lit, #sexy romance novels
“
Well, Tony would not understand
me not coming in. The trial is in two weeks. But when it’s over I
can take some time off. We’ll go wherever you want.”
The waiter places our salads in
front of us. I look down at my food, but my appetite is
gone.
Kyle reaches across the table and tilts up my
chin. “We’ll pick a date for our wedding, Muffin. As soon as the
trial is over. I promise.”
“
I’ve heard that promise
before.”
“
You know I’m doing this for us,
right? For our future?” Kyle picks up his Corona. “Pick up your
drink.”
I put my hands in my lap and give him a look.
“I don’t want to.”
“
Please, Laney. Pick up your
drink,” he pleads.
I give in and raise my glass.
“
To Laney
Delaney, the most beautiful, kind, funny,
patient
woman I’ve ever known. I
don’t deserve you,” he says, clinking my glass.
“
Truer words have never been
spoken,” I deadpan and take a sip.
He puts his right hand on his
heart and says, “It is my solemn promise and vow to take you on a
getaway trip to plan our wedding as soon as my trial is over. We
can go wherever you want. Hell, we can even go to Vegas and
elope.”
Of course I’d never do that to my
parents, but the thought intrigues me. I raise an eyebrow. “Fat
Elvis or skinny Elvis?”
“
Your call.”
My attitude shifts, and my
hunger is back. Good thing too. Casa Vega’s carnitas are the bomb.
It would be a shame to waste them on an old argument. I know Kyle
is doing this for me.
For
us
. I just wish he’d do it
faster.
Kyle nuzzles into the crook of my
neck and starts kissing me.
“
Keep that up, and I’m going to
make you go again,” I purr.
“
I could have sworn I satisfied
you,” he whispers.
“
Multiple times. But keep kissing
me like that…”
He looks at the clock and sits up. “As much as
I’d like to, I don’t have time. I have to get to the
office.”
“
The office on a Sunday should be
illegal. Even I don’t work Sundays, and I work retail.”
“
I would hardly call designing
couture wedding dresses retail,” he says, kissing my
forehead.
“
Hey.” I grab his arm before he
can get out of bed. “In all seriousness, that was amazing. Why do
we never have sex like that any more?”
“
Because I’m an asshole and work
too much. I obviously need to get my priorities in order.” He leans
down and kisses me, but ducks away before I can pull him back down
to me.
“
You have to get going too, don’t
you?” he asks.
“
Yeah, Amanda will be here in an
hour, then we’re picking up Kim.”
“
What time do you think you’ll be
home tonight?” he calls from the bathroom.
“
We’ll probably be at the flea
market until noon or so. Then lunch and a movie. The ultimate
girls’ day. I’d say five o’clock at the earliest.”
“
Five o’clock?” he parrots,
turning on the shower.
“
At the earliest. Any chance
you’ll be home for dinner tonight?” I call, but he closes the
shower door. He can’t hear me. I know his mind is already on work
and I’ve lost him.
~~~~
“
I’m still bummed Amanda flaked on
us today,” I tell Kim as we walk into the Rose Bowl. “I can’t
remember the last time the three of us hung out.”
“
I wouldn’t exactly call morning
sickness flaking. And twins? I wonder if that means she’s got it
twice as bad?”
“
I know, but I
barely see her any more. And when she has her babies I’ll
probably
never
see her.”
“
Amanda will always be your best
friend, Laney.”
I sigh. I know Kim’s right, but
Amanda’s perfect life is moving forward at warp speed, and mine is
stagnant. She met Alex just a few weeks after I met Kyle, and
they’re married with twins on the way while Kyle and I are in limbo
because of this stupid trial.
“
Hey, there’s Jamie. Let’s go say
hi,” Kim says, pointing to her friend’s booth.
Jamie sells used books—many of
them antiques and first editions—and makes a killing on the flea
market circuit.
“
Hey, ladies!” he calls out when
he sees us coming.
“
Hey, Jamie,” we say in
unison.
We always stop by Jamie’s booth
first when we come here. He’s got a great spot that’s right before
you enter the antique part of the flea market. As Jamie and Kim
catch up, I browse the books and notice a striking couple come up
to the booth. She is tiny, blond and gorgeous. She looks a bit like
Cameron Diaz, only younger. He has slicked back dark hair, multiple
tattoos and a brooding look. They’re both dressed in black and wear
matching aviator sunglasses.
“
So who was that guy we just ran
into?” Tattoo Dude asks Young Cameron.
“
Ugh, Tom? Just some guy from the
clubs. I barely know him. He’s got a bad reputation though. A real
lothario,” she says with a laugh, then kisses him.
Lothario. That’s not a word you hear every
day.
“
Should I be worried?” he asks
teasingly, kissing her back.
I watch them out of the corner of my eye.
Something about them fascinates me. The Rose Bowl Flea Market has
the best people watching.
“
Oh, there’s the book I want,” she
says suddenly without answering him.
“
East of
Eden
?” he asks.
“
Yes, Holden
keeps telling me it is ‘the Great American Novel’ and that I
must
read
it.”
He shrugs and notices me watching them. “Cool
guitar,” I say nervously, motioning my head toward the tattoo on
his left forearm.
“
It’s a bass,” he
replies.
“
Oh. Bass,” I say
stupidly.
“
Laney,” Kim says, pulling my
attention away from the couple. “Ready to go in?”
“
Sure.” I’m happy to leave what’s
become an awkward situation. But as I walk away I realize they’ve
barely noticed me at all.
~~~~
I pull next to Kyle’s car in the
garage and immediately feel guilty. When Kim got a headache and
flaked on lunch and the movie, I picked up a Drew Barrymore chick
flick from Redbox and lo mein for one because I figured Kyle would
still be at the office. It never occurred to me to call and see if
he’d actually be home. Last night he didn’t get home until
midnight. He probably skipped lunch, and I’ll have to share my
noodles. I knew I should have ordered egg rolls.
And there goes my movie. Kyle hates Drew
Barrymore.
I curse myself for being so
selfish when poor Kyle works so late all the time instead of being
happy he’s home at a decent hour for once. I rub his grandmother’s
ring on my finger and remember the night he gave it to me. He
brought me to the beach at sunset, laid down a red checkered
blanket and put a Barry White CD into his old boombox. We ate
Chinese food from handled white cartons and fed each other with our
chopsticks. He got on one knee, which actually made him higher than
me since I was sitting on the sand, and told me I was the Kung Pao
to his chicken. Without me his life was bland. I added the spice.
It was corny. It wasn’t Paris. But it was perfect.
I’ve got to be the worst fiancée
on the planet. No wonder I can’t get him to pin down a
date.
Sharing my noodles with Kyle suddenly sounds
like the perfect way to spend the afternoon. Maybe I can even find
the Barry White CD.
“
Surprise. I have Chinese,” I
sing-song as I open the door from the garage to our
kitchen.
~~~~
It’s weird the things you notice
the moment your life changes forever—how things seem to happen in
slow motion and all five senses come alive.
As I open the door, I notice
the sound of music, which is odd because Kyle likes it quiet when
he works, followed by the smell of something musky and familiar I
can’t quite place. When I see her, or rather
them,
the millisecond before my mind
registers what was going on, the thought that comes to my mind is,
“Isn’t that a paralegal from Kyle’s office? How does she get her
legs up over his shoulders like that without cramping?” Then the
taste of bile rising in my throat with the feeling I’ve been
punched in the stomach as I drop the lo mein on the
floor.
I’ve never seen two people move so
fast. Kyle pulls up his pants from around his ankles and has them
zipped in a split second, and Paraslut has her skirt pulled down
and is off my counter—the granite I picked out when we remodeled
his condo last summer—in one quick move. I don’t see any underwear.
Seems she came prepared.
“
I thought you were going to a
movie.”
Those are the first words
out of his mouth?
I thought you were going
to a movie?
My brilliant lawyer fiancé.
Expert litigator. Poached and taken to the dark side due to his
prowess in the courtroom. On the fast track to becoming a junior
partner and that was his defense?
I
thought you were going to a movie?
“
I can see that. Tell me, if I
had, would you have wiped the counter off when you were done or
would you have just let me make breakfast there in the morning
wondering why the counter was so sticky?”
“
I think I’d better go,” Gumby
Legs says.
“
That’s an excellent idea,” I say
to her. “If I come across your underwear, I’ll have Kyle bring it
to the office.”
“
Laney,” he starts toward
me.
“
Get. The fuck. Out.”
“
It’s my condo,” he
argues.
“
Not tonight it isn’t. Out. Or I’m
going to start throwing things. At you.”
He opens his mouth to say
something but thinks better of it. And it all comes to me in a
rush. The late nights, switching the address on his bills to the
office, never pinning down a date. How long has this been going on?
He takes his keys off the key hook and walks to the door. Once he
gets there, he turns around and says, “I love you,
Laney.”
“
Don’t you ever say that to me
again.”
When he walks out the door I pick up the lo
mein and hurl it across the room. Then I walk over to the sink and
vomit. And without cleaning up either I go upstairs and start to
pack.
~~~~
Amanda hands me a glass of water.
“
I thought you were opening
another bottle.”
“
I think one bottle is enough,”
she tells me.
“
I didn’t drink it myself. Alex is
drinking too.”
Amanda’s husband shakes his head. “Nope, I’m
on call.”
I pull my knees up to my chest and
hug them tightly, put my forehead on my knees and start to cry
again. Amanda sits next to me and rubs my back. I look up at Alex.
“You swear you had no idea?”
“
I swear. The four of us have been
hanging out a lot less over the last couple of years. And even
before, Kyle and I never did anything together without you and
Amanda. We weren’t close.”
It’s true. We’ve been drifting
apart over the last couple of years, but Amanda has always been my
anchor, and tonight I needed that more than ever.
“
Do you know the last thing he
said to me before he walked out the door? He said, ‘I love you,
Laney.’ What kind of bullshit is that?”
Amanda and Alex exchange a look.
“I don’t know,” Alex says. “Maybe for whatever reason they decided
to work at the condo instead of the office, and she seduced him.
You said she wasn’t wearing any underwear.”
“
So what, you think he went into
the kitchen to get a bottle of water—that’s right, he’s gone so far
to the other side he drinks bottled water now—and she just hopped
up on the kitchen counter and pointed her toes to the ceiling and
instead of saying, ‘Your Brazilian waxed vagina is very tempting,
but I’m engaged to be married to the love of my life. Please hop
down off the counter so we can get back to work,’ he had no other
choice but to drop his pants and dive in?”
Alex laughs, and Amanda smacks
him. “Sorry,” he says. “You’ve always had a way with words,
Laney.”
“
So what are you going to do?”
Amanda asks, continuing to rub my back.
I shrug. “I have no idea. I can’t kick him out
of the condo. Sure, I picked it out, and I decorated it, but he
owns it. We weren’t going to own anything jointly until we got
married. I guess I’ll go stay with my parents until I can find my
own apartment.”
“
Well, you’re staying here
tonight, obviously. Then we’ll work on a plan in the
morning.”