Love or Money (10 page)

“Leave it to your instincts,” I said. “You're a decent young man.” Jenny put the well-scrubbed iron pot on the stove, then stood, hands on hips.

‘So Hamish did the honourable thing by the folk of Luna Bay, the Biggs family, and his parents. He moved Honey into the house he'd just bought, started stocking up on prams, cots, the lot. Then Dwayne arrived — lovely baby, he was. Grinning and cooing at you every time you looked into the pram. Then he took to being a bit colicky. Honey weaned him too quickly, the girls said. Couldn't be bothered with the breastfeeding thing, they were saying. And you know what a colicky baby's like, Erin? They just yell round the clock. I'd say that was a pretty big nail in the coffin for Hamish and Honey's relationship. Honey just seemed to buckle, went back to doing Friday nights at the pub. Then we started hearing she was spending time with other men. The Biggses are like that, Erin. Have always been like that.

‘But trust our Hamish. Decent to the end. He rented the cottage across the road from his house and moved in. We reckon he was sending Honey the message that their relationship was over — in the bedroom department, I mean. But Hamish wanted to keep up his share of parenting. He took to spending Friday nights at home alone with Dwayne. They said that since Hamish didn't have a partner to love, he channelled that love onto Dwayne. You can just see it. Every day he loves his son more. Since the little boy was only weeks old, Hamish has been buying things for him. Things like sensible toys. To help those little fingers coordinate, Hamish told me. Develop his brain.'

Erin swallowed back a tear. The day they'd met on the cliff-top walk, she'd seen how the fair-haired little boy with the wistful smile worshipped his father. She glanced at Jenny, saw that she was merely pausing for breath. There was more to come.

‘People said it was lucky that Dwayne had inherited his father's brains rather than his mother's. And Hamish realised this pretty early on. He teaches Dwayne everything from toddler puzzles to the first steps of reading — started when Dwayne was barely three. And you should watch the way Hamish manages Dwayne's diet. Feeds him healthy food to offset the packaged junk his mother slips him whenever she feels like it.'

‘Hasn't Hamish…cast an eye around the village lately?' Erin wondered aloud. ‘This Anna Kershaw woman. I saw the two of them the other day. Very cosy.'

‘Anna? He minds her cat when she travels overseas. That's about as cosy as it gets. She'll be in the US for a few months, he was telling me. Forget about Ms Kershaw, Erin. She's not his type. At all. A city girl to the tips of those ridiculous heels she wears.' Jenny paused, looked into Erin's face.

‘He's faithful to Honey,' Jenny said. ‘To the point of stupidity, I'd say.' Jenny kept smiling directly at Erin. It seemed that she wanted to go on playing big sister.

‘But that said, Erin,' she continued after a pause for breath, ‘you'll have noticed Hamish isn't short on hormones. The way his eyes wandered all over you that day you came to the office.'

‘Really?' Erin would act innocent, draw Jenny out.

‘Didn't you notice?' The older woman smiled, sceptical.

‘Um, well since you ask, I did rather sense…something.' Erin would choose her words like a quilter choosing her cottons. ‘I thought he was interested to meet the new owner of my grandmother's place. I mean, he had a sentimental connection with the property.' It wasn't the right time to tell Jenny about the lifesaver who'd dragged her from the rip off Luna Bay twelve years before.

‘Hamish would be a great catch.' Jenny continued. ‘For a girl who wants…depth. He's so intense about what he believes in. Caring for the land, being there for his son. Keeping an eye out for his parents. They're getting on a bit these days. Clem — that's Hamish's father — he has a gammy leg now. Can't get around the property like he used to. And Nellie's had blood pressure for years. Hamish loves to spend time on the farm when he can. A few hours on the tractor, a bit of chainsawing, fencing. After a weekend on the property, he bounces into the office on a Monday looking ten years younger.'

‘The dishes are all but done,' Erin said, wondering if she should give her helper a chance to drop the subject. ‘Would you like to come and sit on the veranda?' But Jenny was not to be put off. She picked up a cloth and began wiping down the bench, the stove.

‘We really don't know what to do about Hamish,' she said. ‘He just won't leave Honey. He lets it all wash over him. Pays the bills, mows the lawn. And, you know, no one's ever heard him say a word against her. The best we ever got out of him was “All relationships have their ups and downs. I'm in this for the long haul.” We all wish he'd find someone compatible. Someone who'd really appreciate his worth. Did you see how the Landcare gang just worshipped him today?'

‘I did.' Jenny's saga of Hamish's tortured relationship had stunned Erin. She struggled to digest her new insights into his life, the handcuffs that held him to Honey. He'd as good as told her, in his passionate reaction to her kiss, that he was a normal red-blooded male. Why would he go on holding a torch for a woman who'd hurt him so many times — would go on hurting him? It was time to change the subject.

‘Hamish told me about Landcare a few weeks ago, then promptly set up my working bee,' Erin said. ‘He did seem in his element today. It made me think of Napoleon directing a battle. Except that he didn't exactly stand on a hilltop with his hand in his jacket.'

‘And everyone did a wonderful job.' Jenny burbled on. ‘They just love your property. Don't you dare sell it!'

An hour later, Jenny began to collect her things. Erin followed her to the door, grabbing a broom on the way. She'd give the summerhouse a quick going-over.

Now that Erin had seen Hamish's partner in the flesh, heard his life story from Jenny, she understood him better. However things might appear on the surface, Hamish would be faithful to Honey. He would love her with that deep, despairing love you saw in the sombre-faced heroes who starred in old movies and turgid romantic novels. As she and Hamish had kissed in the dark during that oh-so-romantic night at the beach, she'd tasted a flash of his passion. Then, a second later, he'd told her it was all a mistake. She must respect Hamish for his principles — the very principles that put him out of reach. Whenever Erin met him around town in future, she'd be polite and nothing more.

Alone in the backyard, Erin looked over her newly tidy garden, a mountain of pulled weeds, and a stack of firewood in the woodshed. She'd submerge herself in forget-about-Hamish therapy. The thought of him still gave her something deeper than goosebumps, and a lot more tingly — rather like a jab to the heart. The afternoon sun disappeared early under a bank of heavy grey clouds that sat like a frown above the Pembroke escarpment. The ocean sulked under the grey skies. It would rain that evening. At dusk, she took a glass of wine onto the veranda, listened to the light rain whispering onto the iron roof.

Hamish, the guy she could truly love, was not available. If she sold Lovers' Lookout, he'd hate her forever. If she married Todd, she'd lock herself into a life so horrible she could barely think about it. Her sick mother needed money fast, or she might die. And the ways of raising that money — both too dreadful to think about. She must find a path through the tangle of complications that had lately grown over her life like the rampant weeds invading the native flora of Lovers' Lookout.

That night, after too many sleepless hours, she slid into a nightmare. As she wandered through the dark catacombs of some ancient European city, she kept brushing by one or other of the characters who'd thrown her life into chaos. Hamish strolled into the dark ahead of her, almost lost in the gloom. Then her mother's face smiled sadly from a shady recess to the left. Todd beamed an aggressive smile at her as he brushed past, evidently chasing Hamish. Haughty journalist Anna Kershaw walked towards her, face wreathed with a triumphant grin.

After too many of these painful encounters, Erin stood at a fork in the dark tunnel, confused, lost, needy. Why didn't someone take her hand and lead her upwards to the friendly light?

She woke in the small hours, tired and defeated.

On Monday morning, desperate for a coffee, Erin headed for Sarah's. If she met Hamish, she'd behave as if they were casual buddies, nothing more. Soon her nostrils caught the teasing coffee smell wafting from inside the little café. As she closed her eyes to savour the scent, Hamish almost bumped into her as he stepped out onto the street, plastic cup in hand.

‘Hi, Erin.' It was always the smile. Wide, genuine, telling her that he trusted her, wanted to share things with her. ‘Recovered from your Landcare Saturday?'

Yes, until I saw you, Hamish Bourke. Why must you always look like a Greek god walking down from Mount Olympus? That stride, the way you hold your head. The golden sun lighting up your skin, your freshly scrubbed face, your…lips
.

‘Well, yes. Thank you,' she answered.

‘There's lots more to do,' he said. ‘We haven't scratched the surface.'

You've scratched mine, Hamish. And I'm still bleeding. From the heart, mainly
.

‘Well, then. You must come again,' she managed.
You look so cute in jacket and tie. Why didn't you wear it for me that first afternoon we met in your office?

‘Sure. But not for a while,' he smiled. ‘There's around a dozen families in the group, don't forget. We have a working bee once a month, with every family taking turns to play host. So if you can wait about a year —'

I'm having trouble waiting five seconds, Hamish
.

‘Well, assuming I haven't sold the place in a year —'.

‘Ah, but I told you,' he grinned. ‘You're not allowed to sell. Luna Bay Landcare Group won't let you.'

‘Sorry. I forgot. I have to keep Lovers' Lookout so you Landcare guys can have a fun day out there once a year.'

‘And a fantastic lunch. You did a brilliant job of following in your grandmother's illustrious footsteps.'

‘Beginner's luck.'

‘No. It's in your genes. I can tell.'

‘Thanks. But you're a busy man. And here I am wasting your time with country morning small talk.'

‘Busy? I wish.' He waved a despairing hand. ‘I'd say Luna Bay's the most law-abiding place in Australia. No one ever needs a lawyer.'

‘If I go and commit a terrible crime, would that help?'

‘Fine. What crime would suit you?'

How about kissing you here, now, right outside Sarah's? In full view of witnesses?

‘Um, not returning my library book on time?'

‘A dastardly act. Not sure I could save you from twenty years jail for that. But it could be fun trying.' He grinned.

‘Okay. I'll get on down to the library right now. When's my first appointment with my lawyer?'

‘Mmm. This will be big. I'd better head back to my office and get organised.' Flashing his trademark grin, he waved and headed along the street.

While the lighthearted brush with Hamish relaxed Erin as she walked home, it fed her parched neediness for him. That night she barely slept. If it wasn't the thought of his body, it was his mind, his principles. A man with his drive, his brains, could earn huge money on the Sydney legal scene. But his commitment to a cause came first, with money a distant second. And Erin had broken it off with Todd Archer because his obsession with money didn't leave any space for love.

A few nights later, Erin headed back to her kitchen after her evening drink on the veranda to find a message on her phone.

Hi, darling. Todd here
.

She clicked her phone silent for a moment. Todd? After their last time together, when they'd visited the Pacific Towers penthouse with her mother, she'd felt her message that it was over had got through to him at last. Now he'd called again. She clicked her phone to hear the rest of the message.

Been spending time with your lovely mother, Eri. She came up with this brilliant idea. A visit to Luna Bay. She told me she's been a bit sad. Dying to see you, but feeling she couldn't risk the bus trip with her heart condition. So — we're heading down this Friday to spend a lovely weekend with you. I'm the chauffeur. And who knows what might happen over that weekend, darling? See you for Friday dinner. Bye till then
.

Love you
.

For a second Erin juggled with the option of heading them off at the pass, then changed her mind. She could hardly tell her mother not to come. She'd grin and bear it, try to stymie her mother's matchmaking one more time.

Friday arrived. After a day of frantic housecleaning, Erin put the finishing touches to the guest room where her mother would sleep, then plumped up Todd's pillow on the lounge sofa. If he didn't like it, too bad. A few minutes after six, as she waited on the veranda with ears cocked, Todd's Porsche screeched to a stop outside the gate. After a loving hug with her mother, and dodging a kiss from Todd, she led them into the old cottage, wincing at the creak of the floorboards, the sight of the ancient kitchen. But Todd's eyes were blind to such trivia.

‘Dinner, Ms Spenser.' He took command. ‘Be good enough to escort us to Luna Bay's finest restaurant. I'm starving.'

‘A tough call,' Erin said. ‘Such a dazzling array to choose from. And I know you don't like Chinese.'

‘Loathe it,' he said. ‘All those noodly bits and pieces.'

‘Sorry, Your Highness. I'll confess. Luna Bay has exactly one restaurant, The Golden Dragon. And it closes soonish. So it's noodly bits and pieces or starvation. Your choice.'

‘For goodness sakes, Eri. Why didn't you tell me?' Todd's growl showed his barely hidden bad mood. Erin shuddered. When Todd was tired and hungry, things could get ugly. ‘We passed a dozen decent eateries on the way down,' he grumbled. ‘And I'm absolutely starving. You could have —'