Authors: Ruth Houston
"Damn," he muttered, standing up from his previously hunched over position so fast he knocked over his desk chair. He paced around and around the room restlessly. Starting at the desk, ten long strides to his bed. A turn. Eight fast paces to his closet. Another turn. Ten footsteps, past the door. Another turn, and it was eight strides past his dresser and back to his desk. How symbolic, he thought with a mirthless smile. Here he was, Tristan Westley, Prisoner Extraordinaire. A prisoner of his own room. A prisoner of his own life.
Again, a humorless chuckle. His life. Now that was something he hadn't been in control of for a long time. At least he could leave his room when he chose to, if he ever felt so inclined.
On his fifth time around, he stopped short when he spotted a framed photo of his whole family on his dresser. It had been taken two years ago. When he saw his dad standing between himself and his mom, a hot, fresh wave of anger surged through him.
"Damn you," Tristan shouted out the open window, for the whole street to hear. "You can go to hell!"
He grabbed his keys off his desk. Stuffed his socked feet into sneakers, and trotted down the stairs, running a frustrated hand through his dark blonde hair.
"I'm going out," he said to Winter, who was sitting at the dining table correcting Matty's math homework, twisting a lock of hair around her finger agitatedly. Apparently a lot of the questions were answered incorrectly, because she kept marking little checks with her pencil. Matty was sitting a couple feet away on the living room floor, reading a book, happily oblivious to Winter's distress. "Where's Eva?"
She looked up, and her eyes darkened for a moment. "I don't know," Winter muttered. "Go look for her yourself, if everyone's so worried about her."
Tristan was taken aback by her anger, but then something clicked into place in his mind. His eyes softened understandingly. For a moment, all of his own anger evaporated.
"Just wanted to make sure she was helping out too," he said gently. "Just wanted to make sure she hadn't dumped everything on you."
Suddenly the fight seemed to go out of her. Winter nodded slowly, looking down.
"Eva's out back helping Emily with a science project," she said quietly. She hesitated. "I'm sorry for snapping at you, Tristan," she said in an even softer voice, still refusing to meet his eyes.
He waved it off, then dropped a brotherly kiss on top of her head. "Don't worry about it. One day we're all going to snap, I just know it. That day'll be nothing compared to a few harsh words. Look at me, Winter," he said gently.
She obliged, and he was even more startled by the fact that her eyes were suddenly sparkling with tears of frustration.
"It'll all be okay. Alright?"
"Promise?" she whispered. She looked so lost; he knew she just needed to hear the reassuring answer at the moment, whether it was truthful or not.
"I promise," he whispered back. "I'll be back in half an hour." He hugged her tightly.
When they separated, she was blinking back her tears forcefully. "Matty," she called, her voice carrying no trace of a waver. "Come look at these. I think you misunderstood the directions because…well…you didn't get a single one right…"
Matty made a sound of confusion and dismay, and scrambled over to her side.
Tristan took one last look back at Winter as he made his way out of the kitchen. What a girl, he thought. One day some guy would be very, very lucky to have her.
Moments later, he was seated in the Honda Civic, and inserted his keys slowly into the ignition.
Seven minutes after that, he was parked under a tree by the park.
He wondered to himself as he pulled back the seat and settled down with his eyes closed. Anger never solved any problems in the long term, was what he had heard. Winter seemed to be full of it at the moment. Contained anger. Maybe it worked for her. Everyone had their own ways of dealing.
And what about myself?
Tristan pondered.
Am I full of anger?
The answer wasn't simple. He wasn't
full
of anger. No, he was angry, but that wasn't all.
Tristan was starting college in the fall. At least, he had planned on attending university. Now he wasn't so sure. How could he leave Eva to deal with the rest of the kids like that, with their father being gone all the time at work? He just couldn't. He didn't have the heart.
There goes another part of my life
, he thought bitterly. He had received a scholarship to the University of California, San Diego. A
scholarship
. He had been to see the campus. It was nice. It was a place he could see himself spending the next four years.
Tristan could only stay at the park for a few minutes longer. He had promised Winter half an hour, but it was so peaceful here. He could actually think, surrounded by sunlight and trees,
removed from the hell that was now attached to him as permanently as his own shadow – his family and home.
Tristan was suddenly filled with a fleeting sense of freedom. He could choose to leave and never come back. He had a car. He had the keys. What was stopping him? He could pack and drive off into the sunset, free from all obligations.
With a heavy crash though, he was brought back to reality. No. He sighed. He was made of better stuff than that. No matter how much he wanted to get away, he knew he couldn't; it would be too selfish of him.
With another sigh, Tristan started up the ignition again and started back for home.
Chapter Five: Two Stabs of Jealousy
-Winter-
He fell in step beside me.
I had to remind myself to breathe.
No, for all of you romantics out there, it's not what you think. I had to remind myself to breathe… and to not reach over and strangle him with every ounce of strength I possessed in my
extremely
intimidating 5'3" stature.
"So, you –"
"No, Zack," I cut him short.
He looked at me with an amused expression on his face.
"So, you've taken to reading my mind now, Ms. Bruin?" he asked, reaching up to scratch the back of his head.
"So, you've taken to stalking
me
in the halls now, Mr. Crowne?" I replied scathingly.
"Ooh, touché," Zack grinned.
I pushed my way in-between a tall guy making out with his girlfriend in the middle of the hall. He flipped me off and I snorted at the gesture.
"So what was it you wanted?" I asked distractedly, keeping a look out for my best friend, whom I hadn't seen since I said goodbye to her this morning in front of her homeroom. Why was Zack following me?
"I think you know what I was going to ask you."
"To set you up with Eva?"
He made a noncommittal shrug of his shoulders. "She's pretty," was all he said, not answering the question either way.
I blew air out of my lips, not replying.
"Do you need help with anything?" he said instead, not looking fazed at my vague response at all.
I looked at him, following my face pace easily with his long legs, one hand deep in the pocket of his jeans. "What do you mean?" I asked, playing along. What did he want?
"You don't need help with anything at all?" he asked.
"Why don't you just tell me what I so desperately need help with, since you obviously know what it is?" I gave him a saccharine smile.
"Do you need any help taking care of Eva's siblings?"
"Uh,
yeah
," I said with a hint of sarcasm before I could stop myself. "Six siblings altogether, it would be great if we could get some help around the Westley house –" I looked at him, covering my mouth. We were now stopped in front of my Pre-Cal classroom. "How did you know about that?"
Zack smirked at me. "Why don't I drop by the 'Westley house' this afternoon? I'll help you guys out. Will you be there?"
"Yes, but you can't –"
"Will Eva be there?"
"Of course, but –"
"But what?"
"
We don't need extra help, so you don't have to come
," I lied, teeth clenched.
"You just told me you needed help."
"Did I? Let me correct myself. We don't need
your
help," I said icily.
"Great," he said smoothly as if he hadn't heard me. "I'll be there. It's a date."
"It is
not
a
date
," I started angrily, but he was already half way down the hall. I almost screamed in frustration at his retreating back. Almost. I do have a little self-control, contrary to what most people think.
Instead I stormed moodily into Pre-Cal, slamming my books down on the desk.
xxxxx
I didn't tell Eva he was coming.
So when the doorbell rang at 3:42 that afternoon, I hastily suggested that I answer it.
"Hey," he said. "Nice place. Are your parents in?"
"Very funny," I hissed, not stepping back to let him in. "What are you doing here?"
"I thought we had a date," he grinned cheekily, easily looking over my shoulder into the living room.
I sighed. "A date," I repeated. "Some date. You're not coming in. I already told you, we don't need your help. Go home."
"Not much of a home to go back to," he said cheerfully. "Besides, I want to say hi to Eva."
"Eva's not home," I said flatly, wondering what he meant by not having much of a home to go back to.
"Who is it, Winter?" I heard Eva call out to me curiously from inside the house, her voice and footsteps traveling closer. She had come to see what the fuss was about. Arrrgh, darn Eva and her stupid perfect timing. Zack smirked at me and I scowled at having been caught in a direct lie.
"No one," I called back to her without taking my eyes off of Zack. "Just a person who got the wrong house. He's leaving now."
"Zack?" Her striking blue eyes were round with surprise.
"Hi Eva," he said with a charming smile.
"What are you doing here? Not that I'm not happy to see you," she added hastily.
"Just figured you guys might need some help around the house," he explained pleasantly, tearing his eyes away from my murderous glare.
"Oh, how sweet!" Eva exclaimed with a radiant expression. "Come in. We could use all the help we can get."
Zack brushed by me, the ghost of a smug smile hanging around his lips.
Gah
. I stuck my tongue out at his back.
The rest of the day was decidedly sickening for me to endure. The kids absolutely
adored
Zack, and for some reason, he was actually pretty good with them. He treated them well, played with them, understood what each of them liked and played to their favor. He and Eva got along just wonderfully, too. While I hurried the kids upstairs to take their daily showers, I heard laughter and animated conversation coming from downstairs, where Zack and Eva were making dinner. What was so fun about making dinner, anyway? Zack and Eva were getting along so well… I felt
two
stabs of jealousy. One because Eva seemed to like Zack so much… the other, because Zack seemed to like Eva so much more. The second one was very confusing. Why should I have cared what he thought of her, anyway? I pushed the thought angrily out of my head and slammed the bathroom door on Emily. "Don't use up all the hot water!" I hollered at her.
Then I realized that perhaps I cared what he thought of her because I didn't know what he thought of
me
. Again, I argued with myself that I shouldn't care what other he thought of me so much.
"Thanks for coming," Eva gushed. "You really were a great help."
"Anytime," Zack said, his trademark arrogant smile in place.
"Oh, and thank you for helping us out with dinner. The kids
loved
it."
"I know." I stood there impatiently, wanting so badly to punch that stupid smirk off his face. Unconsciously I jiggled my socked foot in an annoyed gesture.
"Come again soon!" I had never wanted to slap my best friend before – it was a new sensation for me.
I chose this moment to interrupt with a timely cough. "Go inside Eva, it's cold out here. I'll just walk Zack to his car, okay? I need to ask him something about a test tomorrow for Mr. Perodi." I crossed my fingers behind my back, hoping she would forget that I had told her just the other day that I had no classes with Zack.
"Alright. Bye, Zack! See you tomorrow." Eva's blue eyes were sparkling, and she smiled sweetly at him.