Love Thy Neighbor (17 page)

Once he cleared the awning, he shook the rain from his hair and happened to look up as a guy was coming up the walkway, his face hidden under the goofiest-looking umbrella he’d ever seen. It looked like he had a yellow duck hovering over his head. What kind of grown man carried an umbrella like that? Dallas started to turn away but then he did a double take. Donald Duck boy didn’t notice Dallas, but Dallas sure as hell saw him. It was Matthew. Obviously on his way up to see Nikki.

Dallas stood inside the garage awning, paralyzed, a knot tightening in his gut.
This is it,
he thought.
He’s back.
And shit, after the way Dallas had acted this morning, running out of Nikki’s apartment like he had, he knew she’d take that little wanker back. Dallas knew he’d blown it. It was like an automatic default setting had gone off inside him. The minute he started feeling something for her, something real, he reverted back to his old ways.

He could have stood there in the rain all day trying to rationalize his actions, but the truth of the matter was that he was plain chickenshit. This was the perfect girl for him, perfect in so many ways, and he didn’t have the balls to put his heart on the line.

He forced himself over to his car and drove off, running a list of mundane errands as the rain came down in a steady, relentless beating. He tried not thinking about Nikki, but she kept finding her way back to the center of his mind.

Finally he surrendered and called his buddy Conrad. “Mate, you got a minute?”

Half an hour later, the two of them were at a dark, quiet bar in Lincoln Park.

“You know,” Conrad said, “I never thought I’d say this to you of all people, but you look like shit, man.”

Dallas cracked a painful smile. He felt like shit.

Conrad signaled the bartender. “Give us a couple shots of Jameson, would you?”

Dallas tilted his beer bottle and took a long swig.

“Are you sure she’s gonna take this loser back?” Conrad asked.

Dallas gave his coaster a spin and nodded, telling Conrad about the flowers on her desk and seeing him on his way out carrying that dorky umbrella.

Conrad raised his shot of Jameson and gave Dallas’s a clink before he threw it back. “Have to admit, bro, it doesn’t sound good.”

“It’s my own damn fault.” Dallas polished off his shot and set the empty glass down. “She told me right from the start that she wanted him back.”

“And what did you tell her?”

Dallas heard himself give off a bitter laugh. “Told her I was traveling light these days. Said I wasn’t into relationships. That I didn’t like the idea of being tied down.”

“Fucking beautiful.” Conrad shook his head. “And you know it’s only the smart ones who believe it when we tell ’em that.”

Dallas offered a sad smile. “And she’s one of the smart ones. Definitely one of the smart ones.”

The bartender set down another round of beers and Dallas reached for his. Maybe getting drunk was the answer.
How could she still love that douche bag? How could she take him back? How could I have helped her win him back?

“I can’t get over how fast this thing sneaked up on me.”

“That’s how it happens.” Conrad nodded, no doubt thinking about how he’d gotten roped in by Sandy. Conrad never talked about it, but Dallas knew his friend had never gotten over that girl, either. He didn’t want to be like Conrad, sitting here three years after the fact, still pining away for Nikki Norris.

“Didn’t you say she’s redoing your place?” Conrad asked.

“Yeah.” Dallas ran his hand along his chin. “She’s going to be in and out of my apartment starting this week.” He pounded his fist to the table. “How the hell did I get myself into this mess?”

“Well, mate, there’s still time to change your mind about our trip. We leave tomorrow but you could still make it. Your flight’ll end up costing you a small fortune, but we could sure as hell use you.”

Dallas had foolishly backed out of the trip the week before, blaming it on his work schedule when in fact, he wanted to spend more time with Nikki. Never before had a woman taken precedence over his work. Never.
What an idiot. Fuckin’ idiot.

“You can come with us,” Conrad said, “and it gets you out of your place for the next three months. You won’t have to deal with her at all.”

Dallas looked up at him. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m overreacting. How the hell do I know she’ll definitely take him back?” Especially after last night. But he thought about that morning and what a cad he’d been to her. Still, he hadn’t imagined everything that happened the night before. He knew she felt it, too. That’s why she’d been so hurt this morning.
Asshole move,
he scolded himself.

He didn’t know if it was too late to make things right with her. Hell, he didn’t know if the ex was over there at that very minute, getting down on one knee. All he knew was that she wouldn’t be happy with him. She couldn’t be. As soon as Matthew got her back, he’d start chipping away at her self-confidence again. Even if Dallas couldn’t have Nikki for himself, it killed him to think of her ending up with a douche like Matthew.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Conrad asked.

“Maybe I need to go over to her place and tell her I’m sorry. Tell her I freaked out a little this morning. Tell her I think it’s a big mistake if she gets back with her ex. Because it would be.”

“You’re gonna tell her all that?” Conrad challenged him with his eyes.

“I’ve got nothing to lose at this point, right?”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d swear you’re in love with this girl.”

Dallas didn’t dispute it.

“So, are you gonna tell her you love her?”

“Whoa, mate.” Dallas dragged his hand back through his hair, stopping halfway through to give his ends a tug. “I think that’s laying it on a bit thick, don’t you? Probably better to ease into that.”

“That depends on how bad you wanna be with this woman.”

The two of them finished their beers and another shot of Jameson
.
Even though he was more sober than he had a right to be, Dallas wasn’t going to risk it. He left his car and took a cab home.

Adrenaline pumped through his veins. He wasn’t a passive man. He’d always gone after what he wanted when it came to his career, and fuck it, the time had come to take control of his personal life, too. He was ready to do this, ready to tell Nikki Norris how he felt about her. He’d never done that before in his life, but he was tired of running scared. And he wasn’t willing to lose someone like her because he didn’t have the balls to go after her.

As the cab drove along Clark Street, he realized for the first time since he’d left the bar that it had stopped raining. The sun was trying to come out and people came out from hiding, walking around in T-shirts and shorts. Dallas took it as a sign that things were looking up.

His heart pounded in his ears as his cab pulled up in front of his building. He paid the driver, rehearsing what he’d say to Nikki when she answered her door. He couldn’t wait to take her in his arms and kiss her without holding back. Once she knew how he really felt about her, she’d realize that it would never work with her ex. There was only one person she belonged with, and that was him. A surge of excitement coursed through his body. Part of him felt like the beginning of a whole new life was just a few footsteps away.

But then he got off the elevator, and his heart sank.

He couldn’t believe it. That fuckin’ stupid-ass yellow umbrella was in the hallway, leaning up against the wall outside her door. That putz was still there. He’d been there all day, and that could only mean one thing.

With a broken spirit, Dallas went into his apartment and closed the door. If he hadn’t been successful in getting drunk earlier with Conrad, he was determined to do so now. He pulled out a bottle of Woodford Reserve and poured himself a glass of bourbon. He looked around his loft, such a big, cold, empty space. Nikki was going to change all that for him. Transform the place into a real home. He’d finally come to the realization that he was ready to fit her inside that home, and now it was too late.
Figures.

He hadn’t had a real home since he was six, back in Manchester. He and his kid brother shared a room, sleeping in bunk beds. His brother had the top bunk, Dallas on the bottom. One night after bedtime, when they should have been long asleep, the two of them got to horsing around.

With his feet up on the springs of the top bunk, Dallas was bouncing his brother up and down. They were laughing, getting a little too loud, and the next thing Dallas remembered his mother barged into their bedroom and snapped on the overhead light.

“What are you boys still doing up? Do you have any idea how late it is?”

He remembered his mother was beautiful. Her stunning features were all the more striking when she grew angry. And she was angry that night.

“Troy,” she said, scolding him, assuming he’d been the instigator, “you leave your brother alone and behave yourself. And if I have to come in here again, you’ll be good and sorry—I can promise you that right now. Go to sleep—I mean it.” She turned off the light and slammed the bedroom door behind her.

That was the last conversation he had with her. The next morning, Dallas woke up and saw that his little brother wasn’t in the bunk above him. He went downstairs to look for him, thinking he’d gotten up early and was already eating breakfast. But no one was in the kitchen. He went to the living room and raced to the front door. Looking through the big window, he saw his father standing out in the front yard in his bathrobe, boxers, and bare feet. He called after her but she kept walking and got in the car with his younger brother. The two of them drove off. Dallas never saw her again after that.

Didn’t take long for his old man to shack up with the woman he’d been seeing all along, and Dallas got shoved to the side, pretty much left to fend for himself. As soon as he turned eighteen, he took off and never looked back. His kid brother finally tracked him down after his mother died. It was a strained, awkward conversation, and Dallas made the decision to leave his past in the past. But damn if it didn’t still sneak up on him, and at the worst possible times. It didn’t help matters that his brother had been stalking him lately.

Dallas took a long pull of bourbon and tried to clear the memory of his childhood and his broken family. He looked about his loft again, and although he’d love to have the place fixed up, the thought of seeing Nikki every day was more than he could bear. Part of him wanted to cancel the job, but that didn’t seem fair to her, especially when she was starting to get back on her feet again.

He sat up drinking, contemplating what his next move should be. The sun was already coming up, and at a quarter to six he heard the thud of the newspaper landing at his front door.

Groggy, and thinking it was time to switch from bourbon to coffee, he got up to get the paper. He opened the door, his eyes automatically looking at Nikki’s apartment. His heart dropped to his feet. He scrubbed a hand over his eyes and swallowed hard.

That fucking yellow umbrella was still there, parked outside Nikki’s door.

A sharp pain took him by surprise, lancing his chest and twisting his gut. It was official. She was back together with her ex. Dallas went inside, closed his door, went straight to his computer, and shot Conrad an email:

Thought about what you said at the bar, and you can count me in on the Antarctica trip. I’m booking my tickets now. See you at the airport.

Chapter Seventeen

When Nikki got up the next morning, her eyes were puffy and swollen from crying. The past twenty-four hours had been a roller coaster of emotion, and she was still struggling to regain some balance and make sense of it all. First Dallas walked out on her and the next thing she knew Matthew showed up.

At least it wasn’t raining again today. She could see bands of sunlight poking through the parting in her living room drapes, but that did nothing to lift her spirits. Her mind was in a fog.

On her way to bathroom, she heard someone out in the hallway. She checked the peephole. Her heart raced as she yanked open the door. She didn’t care that she had on only boxer shorts and a tank top. Dallas stood there with a suitcase, a leather duffel bag, and a couple of camera cases. He had a letter in his hand.

She looked at all the luggage. Her stomach knotted up. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Yeah, yeah.” He nodded. He could barely look at her.

“Where? Where are you going?”

“Antarctica. I’m actually on my way to the airport now.”

“What?” A rush of panic flooded her. “Just like that? You were going to leave without even saying good-bye?”

“I was about to slip this under your door.” He indicated the envelope and held it out to her.

She snatched the letter from his hand. “Do you mean to say that if I hadn’t opened the door at this very minute, you would have just slipped a goddamn letter under my door and that would have been it? You would have left without saying a word?”

“What can I tell you, I’m not big on good-byes, babe.”

That did it. “Don’t you dare call me
babe
. I’m not one of your girls.”

“Nikki, let’s not have a scene. Please, I didn’t mean—”

“Don’t you feel anything? Didn’t these past few weeks mean
anything
to you?”

“I told you up front I wasn’t looking to be tied down. I was honest with you from the very start. I never made you any promises.”

Her entire body shook, she was so mad. “So this was all some big joke to you. Just some stupid game.”

“Hey.” His voice flared. “You wanna talk about games? You were using me, remember? And you won. You got what you wanted. And I’m sorry if some feelings got in the way of your little strategy to win your fiancé back.”

“This was more to me than that, and you know it.”

He looked at his watch, which infuriated her. “I—I have to catch my flight.”

“Sure—go ahead, run away,” she shouted. “You’re a coward, that’s what you are. You’re just a little boy—a little scared boy who’s gonna run away and hide.”