Authors: Delia Delaney
“It’s not your fault,” I
told her
. I didn’t know whose fault it was—if there was really any blame to be cast—but I certainly didn’t blame Detective Bronson.
“I
don’t
know,” she sighed. “I just…
God, Taryn. I am so sorry.
I just don’t even know what else to do except hope something comes up in the near future.”
“
Yeah, me too
.”
“
One little thing could be what blows this case wide open, but until then… All w
e
have
is
proof that the
two
of them were seeing each other; that Nathan Oliver was getting possessive and wanted an exclusive relationship with her—”
“So did John Miller. He claimed he wanted to marry her.”
“That was different. Wh
at John felt about Rachel was…
normal.”
“Normal?” I wasn’t against hearing differing opinions, but really… Why were we talking about this again?
“Taryn, being a cop I’ve seen so much. There are all sorts of relationships that we have to
prod
through. Some of them are really…scary and
grotesque. But there was nothing unusual about John and Rachel’s relationship. I believe he did love her. When she was murdered it was a shock to him. I think he went through a lot more grief than we
realize
, and I think he panicked when the questions started to come. But I do not believe he had anything to do with her death. His alibi is
still solid.”
I sighed. I didn’t want to talk about Jared’s dad. His entire involvement in my sister’s life still bothered me.
“Autoerotic asphyxiation? I mean jeez… You guys bring all of that up—a sex game gone wrong—”
“Like I said. I’ve seen it all. It’s still a possibility that’s what happened
…
”
“Oh, but what about the other possibility? That Jacqueline Harris paid
her brother
to get rid of Rachel for having an affair with her husband?”
Michelle sighed
with frustration. “We’re looking at every angle because
that smug little bastard is hiding something.
I know he was involved somehow.
I don’t know what
else
to say, Taryn. I’m sorry.”
I felt bad. Not only for how rude I was, but because my sister was gone for good and what little bit we could do for her had failed. “I’m sorry
,
too,” I finally said. “I’m really frustrated with all of this and I’ve just… Taking it out on you was unfair. I apologize. Thank you for all
you’ve
done so far.”
“I wish I could do more. I really do.”
“Well… For now we’ll just move on and do our best with everything else, I guess.”
I
found my escape
when I saw the door to the preschool open. I informed Michelle that Maggie was done with
school, she apologized again
, and then we hung up.
It really was time to put Rachel’s death behind me.
When we got home at lunchtime, I let Maggie watch cartoons while I put away groceries and then made lunch. After she ate, she returned to the television and fell asleep a few minutes later. I was folding a load of laundry when my cell phone rang. I was glad it was on vibrate so it didn’t wake Maggie up. If she’d heard Jared’s ringtone she would have been up in a flash.
“I was just thinking about you,” I said when I answered the call.
There was a pause on the line and a voice said, “Uh, Taryn, it’s Jack.”
It surprised me a little but I didn’t think anything of it. I thought maybe he was going to have me listen to Jared rehearse a song or something like he’d done before.
“Oh. Hey
,
Jack. What’s up?
”
Again there was silence, and that’s when my stomach felt funny. When he said, “Taryn, I don’t know how to say this…” I almost screamed out loud. I ran to my closet and started stuffing clothes into a bag. I don’t know why I did it; it was just my first instinct.
“What happened?
” I barely asked. I was already crying, and it got worse when I could hear Jack crying too.
“He was in a car
accident… It was really bad… I don’t even know…”
“Where is he
?
” I cried. I shoved some shoes on my feet and found the cordless house phone. I could barely dial my dad’s number at the same time I listened to Jack give me information that was
hardly
anything at all.
“Dad
,
I need you to stay with Maggie,” I sobbed when he picked up. “Jared was in an accident and—”
“I’ll be right there,” he said, and hung up.
“Taryn, they won’t let me see him,” Jack said. “I tried. I swear he
flatlined
in the ambulance but-but now they say he’s in surgery…”
I couldn’t even believe what I was hearing. Accident.
Flatlined
. Surgery. Jack of all people was
crying
…
The band was in Chicago that weekend. I somehow endured a
five
-hour flight with my mom
, but I know it was because she
practically
held
me the entire time. Yes we were on a private flight and I was so grateful for that, but I couldn’t bear the thought of b
eing so far away from my fiancé
without knowing anything that was going on.
He could be dead by the time I arrived.
I felt a pa
inful sickness wash over me
when the car dropped us off at the hospital
,
and
it was all I could do but run to the emergency entrance. However, I wasn’t thinking about anything at all except for Jared when a group of bodyguards
met us and
led us through the slew of reporters. They were being directed by hospital security to stop blocking the entrance and there were even local police to help move them to the lawn.
Among
st
the several overwhelmed faces in the waiting room, I did see Jack and Marcus. The scene was insane though, with one group of people being admitted or filtered through by cops and hospital personnel, and another group—Jack’s group—seeming to have b
een separated on Jared’s behalf, situat
ed on the other half of the ER with private security.
“They won’t let us see him,” Marcus said right away. He looked pissed, and scared, and on the brink of crying, but on the flipside, I was grateful t
hat meant he was alive. “He’s stable now, he’s in ICU, but no one is allowed back there.”
All I heard was that Jared was stable, and relief washed over me.
“Who do we talk to?” my mom said. “Taryn is his fiancée. Surely they’ll let her in.”
“The only person that’s been behind those doors,” he said, pointing
down
a separate hallway, “is Jared’s mom. Apparently she’s the one keeping everyone out.”
My eyes narrowed. If I had to deal with
Jocelyn
Miller not allowing me to see her son, I was going to lose it.
My mom moved away to speak to the police that seemed ready to question our presence. I could imagine it was a nightmare to keep the people that belonged there separated from the nosy bottom feeders.
I had even heard an ambulance driver radio for any incomings to head to a different hospital
if they could
.
“We’re in here,” Jack said, motioning to a door around the corner. “We came out because we heard you were
here
.”
I understood. I was grateful for the pers
onal escort by my fiancé’s band
mates. They led us to a
private
waiting room that was filled with a dozen other people;
Kurt
and Adrian, and others
involved with Jared on a daily
basis. I didn’t like the looks of sadness and pity as every pair of eyes stared at me. Jack stood with me in the corner to speak about what he knew so far.
It wasn’t much.
“All we can do is wait for a doctor or someone to fill us in. He’s
at least
in an ICU room. The surgery went well I guess. He lost a lot of blood…”
I looked across the room at Kurt
, whom Jared had been with at the time of the accident. His arm was in a cast and a sling
, his face battered with bruises and cuts. He looked like he had a lot of stitches, including whatever was wrapped with gauze on his other arm.
I didn’t think he’d be drumming anytime soon.
He stood, sensing my need to speak with him. I watched as he walked carefully across the room, hobbling on an injured leg. He didn’t say anything right away. I wasn’t going to jump to conclusions about his driving, or whatever happened, but I almost wanted to shake him to death for almost killing my fiancé.
But I think I was so relieved that Jared was alive that I wasn’t ready to be confrontational just yet. I was heartbroken and miserable, but I didn’t want any negative feelings at that moment. I needed to stay positive.
“I’m sorry,” he finally said. “It was…it was my mistake. I didn’t see the light and…” He took a deep breath and it came out as shaky as I felt. Tears slipped down his face over the cuts and bruises and I felt my heart soften just slightly. He couldn’t speak anymore and he sat down on the chair, placing his head into the hand that wasn’t in a cast. I let him cry, myself wanting to curl up in a ball and do the same.
I couldn’t console Kurt at that moment. I wasn’t able to. My own heartache ripped through my chest in a steady, agonizing pain.
Agony—my wicked w
oman
.
I ignored the sickness in my gut, the pain in my chest. I left the room and
traveled down the hall to
the cop that stood between Jared and me.
Even without words I could t
ell he wasn’t going to concede, but I desperately needed to see Jared with my own eyes. I needed to be with him.
“He’s my fiancé,” I told him wearily. I was literally worn out from emotions.
He barely smiled. “I’ve also met his six wives, a few sisters
, and countless girlfriends
.”
“I’m going to p
retend you didn’t just say that,
”
I sighed.
I pulled out my wallet from my purse and retrieved my license for him. “I’m Taryn Hartford; Jared and I are engaged,” I said, holding up my ring finger. I
knew it wouldn’t be
proof, but it was just automatic. At the same time, my mom and Jack joined me. I could tell the officer believed me as he handed back my i.d.
,
and
he also seemed to acknowledge
that I was indeed accepted by Jared’s bandmates.
“
I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can do, Miss
Har
t
ford. It’s like I’ve told these
fellas
already: the family is restricting access to him. That’s all I can say. They don’t want
anyone
.
”
“They?” I questioned.
“Is his dad here too?”
I felt a bit of hope at that point.
He sighed.
“No, ma’am.
Just his mom.
Look, I’m sorry, but I was told no one. She even specifically said not even
anyone claiming to be
his fiancée.”
I probably revealed my shock when my mouth hung open
,
but other than that, I w
as furious. What was it with his
mom? Was it about the control? She wanted me to know she had the upper hand this time?
Despite how angry I was, I cried again when I dropped into a chair in the waiting
room. It barely subsided
when apparently that same officer was at least kind enough to send a doctor in to speak to Jared’s entourage, informing us that he was
heavily sedated, almost
coma
tose
.
I understood what that meant—that it was necessary to help his body take care of itself—but I couldn’t even speak.
However, m
y mother—in a voice that was very kind and compassionate without being forced to be—asked if she could speak to Jocelyn Miller.
The doctor denied her request, stating, “Ms. Miller does not wish to see anyone at this time.”
“You don’t understand,” she replied, meeting his gaze evenly. “If Jared were to choose who was with him in that room right now, it would not be his mother.”
At first the doctor looked caught off guard.
“He would choose Taryn,” she continued. “There isn’t anyone else he would rather be with. And if Taryn weren’t available, he would choose Jack, or Marcus, or Kurt. And if his bandmates weren’t available, he would choose Adrian or Carrie or Saul. And if anyone else in this room weren’t available, he would choose an adoring fan or a goddamn stranger off the streets.”