Love Unspoken (4 page)

He wasn’t blind and he wasn’t an idiot despite certain people
wishing to believe that of him. Cole swallowed hard. He had a horrible feeling
Noelle was amongst those who thought because he lacked speech, his manhood or
intelligence was also in question.

At home on the Tumbling Y in Elk Basin, a town as much isolated
as Copper Mesa, he didn’t have to deal with that problem. No, his problem was
trying to keep the ranch in the McKinney name and provide support for his
mother, ailing father and younger brother. As much as he loved the Tumbling Y,
it was in equal parts the bane of his existence and his saving grace—the only
possession of value he had to hold on to. If he wanted a woman like Noelle, it
wasn’t going to happen without anything to offer except a ride in his pickup…or
being able to fix a busted spark plug.

Exiting onto a stretch of road, barren save for the bales of hay
lying on the shorn patches of grass. Cole felt the familiar stirrings of home.
A herd of cattle, heads low to the low brown grass scavenged for nourishment.
Cole sighed. Why hadn’t anyone moved them to higher grounds?

He kicked himself mentally. Of course he knew the reason. They
were strapped for cash, unable to hire more than a handful of part time
workers. His younger brother was still in high school, completing his final
year. Derek didn’t have the time to take on many of the duties to assist his
ailing father and overworked mother.

A half-mile down the road later, Cole could not fight the feeling
of anger and dissatisfaction skidding to the forefront of his mind. The sign
his father crafted for the ranch came into view. Rusted and muddied, the metal
crooked to the side, swaying in the evening breeze. It wasn’t pretty. Nor was
it a welcome sight in front of his home. The sign represented everything that
was wrong with the ranch, everything that was on his shoulders to fix. His lips
curved in disdain. That fucking sign might as well represent him. Broken and
lowdown with little appeal to anyone.

No appeal to her.

After pulling up in the driveway, Cole leaned across the seat to
grab his bag. The front door to their modest split-level home eased opened. His
mother stood there holding the frame ajar, a kitchen towel clutched between her
plump hands.

“I didn’t know you were coming home this weekend,” she said as he
climbed the porch steps. Her hands moved in unison to her words, although he
had no difficulty hearing. “Your father is resting and your brother’s on his
way home from school. They’ll be glad to see you.”

Cole glanced in the hallway leading to his parent’s bedroom.
“How
is he?”
 

Eight months ago his father suffered a mini stroke and although
he had recovered from it, Jamison McKinney never regained the majority of his
strength, not only that, but it seemed as if the incident left him prone to
even more ailments. His father was a shadow of the hardworking rancher, who had
placed all his hopes and dreams on this piece of land in southern Colorado.

“He’s coming along. Your father tries his best, but…” She shook
her head and laid the kitchen towel on the edge of the sofa. “Never mind that.
You know I hate to burden you with more than you already take on. How has
everything been in Copper Mesa? The internet’s been down so I’m not sure if
you’ve sent us any emails or not.”

“Same as always. All right.”
What else did she expect him
to say? It was what she wanted to hear, needed to hear and even if things
hadn’t been going well, he would never let on. His mother was one of the
hardest working people he knew and he damn sure wouldn’t be the one to lay more
stress at her feet, not when it was his turn to do the brunt of the work and
take care of them.

Her features softened, however the fine lines around her puffy
eyes remained the same. “That’s good. Your father is looking forward to having
you back here with us.”

Cole lifted an eyebrow. Back here? It sounded more permanent than
his sporadic weekend visits.
“Is there something I need to know?”

She flushed. “I shouldn’t have mentioned it.” Slowly, she eased
onto the couch with shoulders slumped.

“Mentioned what? I’m thirty years old, not a child. I expect
to be informed when you or anyone else in this family think you can make a
decision about my life without letting me in on it.”

She lowered her head between her hands. “That’s not how it is,”
she began, facing him. “You know your father and I don’t think you’re any less
capable of managing your life than anyone else. If it wasn’t for you this ranch
would have fallen to pieces, reverted back to the bank a long time ago.”

Cole was fast losing his patience with her ridiculous
acknowledgment of his contribution as if he could do any less.
“You didn’t
answer my question.”

She avoided his gaze and toyed with the ring on her finger. In a
low voice she answered, “Your father thinks it’s best if you returned to the
Tumbling Y. He needs your help here.”

She thought to just mention that and expect him to pack
everything and return?

“What about money?”
He held out his hand, palm facing
upward and tapped it with his other hand.
“Wasn’t the point of me working
someplace else to help offset the cost here?”

“It was and it has helped. It might not show from the looks of
this place, but we’re staying afloat. I hate having to tell you this, but the
fact of the matter is, your father is not doing well and it’s just a matter of
time before another stroke takes him from us.”

Cole raked a hand through his hair. Why the hell did he get the
feeling there was more to this than she was letting on? And so far, there had
been no mention of his younger brother’s role in all of this. Surely he had to
be of some help.

“What about Derek? He’s old enough to contribute around here
after he graduates. I can’t up and leave my job.”
As if on cue, Noelle
popped into his thoughts, her eyes flashing with the excitement he knew she
would have rather kept hidden after he’d fixed her car. He wanted to see that
again and again. Wanted to have her display it to him with open affection. He
didn’t want to abandon the one place that kept him close to her.

“Derek won’t be here.” She refused to meet his eyes. “Your
brother received a full scholarship to Colorado State University.”

 A fist rammed into his stomach, knocking the wind out of him. An
unwanted sense of anger, jealousy and disbelief settled in his gut. He didn’t
begrudge his brother the achievement, but what about the opportunities he had
to sacrifice as a teen to stay on at the ranch and help out? Even before he had
graduated high school his parents had hinted that his presence was paramount.
And now, they expected him to drop everything and return home so his brother
could have the opportunities he was denied. Was it because they had higher
expectations of Derek? He, Cole, was just big and silent, unable to amount to
much in life. Was that how they viewed him?

“I’m suppose to return here and take on his load in addition
to everything else, is that right?”

Her dark eyes widened. She quickly stretched out a hand to him.
“Cole. It’s not like that. You know how your brother is. He doesn’t love this
place as much as you and Derek’s always wanted to go—”

He didn’t want to hear the rest of what she had to say. He needed
to get away from the excuses that masked so many truths. Cole stalked out of
the living room and outside to the small guesthouse he’d taken as his home for
a few years as well. It never bothered him before the life he had chosen,
living here and at the Somerset ranch, both places lonesome and devoid of any
social life to speak of. He harbored no ill will toward his brother if he
wanted out and wanted to experience life outside of cattle ranching. Heck, his
mother was right about the love he had for ranching, but that was no excuse to
assume the ranch was his entire life. That, although he would return to the
Tumbling Y out of duty, there might not be someone else who needed him or that
he might not have other obligations.

 
Yeah right.
Who was he kidding; he had nothing outside of
maintaining the Tumbling Y. And he was thinking too much about Noelle again.
Last night he’d ridden past the fence and caught a glimpse of the curtains
drawn back, just barely. He looked up far too late, only to see the telltale
swaying of the curtain. Noelle had been watching him and he had never been so
tempted in his life to shake a woman. He wanted to drag the information out of
her why she felt the need to watch him from afar. Then it hit him, whatever she
was feeling, hatred or interest, he was equally as guilty. He was spending too
much time going out of his way to watch her movements. For all he knew, she was
wondering the same and wishing to do nothing but slap him across the face.

Chapter
Four

Legs outstretched and her back against the trunk of a tree,
Noelle raised her hand in a sweeping motion depicted in the book lying across
her lap. In mid action, she dropped her hand to the blanket on the grass and
snapped the book closed.

“No point at all,” she chastised herself. No point except
humiliating herself. Or perhaps, Cole wouldn’t even take her attempt to
communicate with him seriously.

Noelle slid the book inside her handbag and folded her arms
behind her head. This was her spot, although it encroached on Mr. Somerset’s
property. In the seven years she’d been coming here, she had yet to encounter
another soul and was grateful for that small favor.

 It was here that the quiet rush of the river, the sunshine
hitting through the branches of the Juniper and Cottonwood trees on those warm summer
afternoons, after her family had first moved to Copper Mesa, helped to keep her
sane. Not so much to prevent her from falling back into old habits, rather to
get away from the constant lectures transfused with bouts of silence.  It
hadn’t changed much over the years, but she had gotten used to it.

After all, her parents had given her all the opportunities other
children could only pray for, they didn’t deserve to have a druggie as a
daughter, regardless if she hadn’t made it as far into the addiction as some of
the people she hung around with.

Noelle grappled with the painful memories. She was
not
a
drug user. She had gone through too much trying to shed that appalling label.
Was still going through it, although no would look at her and suspect it. Definitely
not Cole, her burly cowboy.

God, she didn’t even want to ponder that train of thought.
Thinking of Cole in such a personal way. And she didn’t have to. The sound of
rustling bushes on the path leading from the ranch, grabbed her attention.
Noelle straightened.

Stretching on her tiptoes, she looked over the hedge. Cole. Her
heartbeat quickened. She didn’t want to see him. Didn’t want him invading her
private sanctuary.

He strode toward the bank of the river, fingers pressed firm
against his palm. She could see droplets of blood leaking from between the
fingers.

What the hell happened to him? Her wretched feet took a step
forward and then another. Noelle stopped and watched as he bent in front of the
river, placing both hands beneath the clear shallow water. Her feet scuffled on
the dirt. Noelle jumped then froze when a twig snapped beneath her sandals.

Snapping his head to the side, Cole caught wind of her presence.
The breath hitched in her throat and blood pounded in her ears when his head
lifted and their gaze collided.

She shifted her head and looked to the side. Noelle willed her
feet to move and take her away from him. It was either that or going to him and
asking if he was all right. Only catch was, he probably wouldn’t appreciate her
concern or help, since that would mean he might be indebted to her or God
forbid, require him to acknowledge her existence. So that led to the question,
why was she headed mindlessly in his direction?

She continued toward him. The soft chirping of a meadowlark perched
high on a scraggly branch, coupled with the brisk scent of pine needles and the
steady lull of the rolling water did nothing to soothe her nerves. Cole kept
his gaze focused on the water, his large hands moving back and forth setting
off tiny ripples.

He’s pretending I’m not here.

She stopped behind him. “Cole?”

He withdrew his hands from the water and with an eerie slowness,
turned to look at her, brows lifted and a definitive w
hat-the-fuck-do-you-want
look in his black eyes. Shaken, Noelle retreated a step backwards.

Did he give that look to every female? The man couldn’t talk but
there was absolutely no reason to, not when he could get his point across with
those eyes. Imagine how he could make her feel with a heated gaze to show he
viewed her as a woman, the way the other cowboys did.

 “What are you doing here?” she asked, instantly regretting the
censor in her tone.

The anger on his face was all too apparent as he tied a bandanna
around his palm. Wiping his uninjured hand on the side of his jeans, he rose to
his feet.

Noelle felt like kicking herself. She’d blown it again. Did she
want
him to dislike her? Because never in her life had she tried so hard to be cruel
to someone before…well except herself.

She bit the inside of her cheek. She should have straight out
asked what happened to his hand. At least then she wouldn’t have to watch him
walk away in anger.

He made it halfway past the blanket she’d spread out on the grass
before coming to a sudden standstill. Her gaze followed his downward, landing
on the quilt. Oh God. The book. It had fallen out of her bag and was laying
face up so he could read every single humiliating incriminating word of the
title.
American Sign Language: For Beginners.