Love Will (41 page)

“I’m so happy you enjoyed it. I asked Will what your favorite flavor was, but he wasn’t sure.” I look down and continue drying dishes, feeling bad for not knowing, when–clearly–my mother remembers which ones I like. I never would have thought she’d ever have paid attention.

“All of my boys inherited any sweet tooth they have from me. I like everything with sugar.”

“So, Mom, what are all the dishes from?”

“I made chicken spaghetti for dinner. I thought we’d just have something we would heat up easily so we could all spend some time getting to know one another this afternoon. Where’s your brother and Callen, Will?”

I realize I just sent them upstairs, unsupervised, to my old bedroom, something I know my mother doesn’t allow. I figure if anyone should walk in on them again, it’s me.

“I asked them to take our stuff upstairs. I’ll go get ‘em,” I tell her as the worry becomes evident on her face.

Sure enough, the door is locked when I get up there. I knock quietly so my mother won’t hear and wait patiently for Max to finally answer. His hair’s a mess and he’s out of breath, but trying to hide it. “You gonna be washing the sheets for me before I invite my girl to sleep with me in that bed?” I ask him.

“Haven’t touched the bed,” he says, stepping aside so I can see it better. Callen’s out of sight, though.

“You’re both being summoned downstairs.”

“Can’t you distract her?”

“Max, this isn’t the time nor place for this. I’m sorry, buddy. I’d really like you to meet Shea and I don’t want this to be weird.”

“This is never gonna happen again,” I hear Callen say from behind the door.

“Listen, I’ll try to help think of something to get you both some alone time while I’m here. Okay? But please come downstairs with me for now.”

“Fine,” Max says.

“Fix your hair first,” I tell him, leaving the door open as I go back downstairs. When I make it to the kitchen, my mother and Shea are hugging one another. Mom’s crying again–or
still
. “Everything okay?” I ask cautiously.

“Fine,” Mom says, breaking away quickly and turning around.

“We’re good,” Shea reaffirms.

“So the bread,” I start, returning to the dishes, “you mailed them here?”

“I found your brother’s number through his company’s website. He gave me Margie’s address so I could overnight them to her. I found Livvy’s email, too, but I was too scared to reach out to her.”

“Livvy’s not great with email,” I admit to her. “Especially from her website. Someone else normally answers those.”

“I’m glad I went with Jon, then. He’s very nice.”

“Did you expect something different?” I tease her.

“No!” she says defensively, looking at my mother. “It was just–”

“He
is
nicer,” Max says, finally coming into the room, “in the polite sense, anyway. But Will would put his life on the line for ya.”

“Jon would, too,” I argue, sticking up for him, because I
know
he would. “He
has
,” I remind Max, not wanting to get into the specifics of the many things he sacrificed when my mother wasn’t fit to raise us. “Shut up, Mascot.” I smile, trying to keep the mood light so my mom doesn’t feel any sort of guilt or think I’m trying to put any on her. That wasn’t my intention.

“Heard you spent some time in LA,” Callen says as he leans against the counter next to me.

“What happened to Arizona, man?”

“Max wants to be a lifeguard… there’s no ocean in Arizona. UCLA’s cool.”

“Have we found a
school
for Max?”

“I’m working on him.”

“We
all
are,” Mom says.

“If you’re fishing for some sort of hoodie or something, you’re gonna have to wait for fucking Santa Claus, you scavenger.”

“Will!” Shea says.

“What?”

“I’m used to it,” my mother says. “I lost that battle ten years ago. They’re just words.”

“No! It’s not okay.” She looks at me sternly. “My mother would have taken a paddle to my backside if I ever said anything like that in front of her. Not in front of your momma… come on.”

I can feel my face heat up before I see the looks on Max and Callen’s faces as they try to stave off their laughter. “Hey, if I have to abide by it, so do you punks. I know you can’t talk like that in front of your folks, Callen, so wipe that smirk off your face.”

“What happens if I do?” Max asks.

“I smack you upside the head.”

“Nothing physical, Will,” Mom scolds me verbally. Shea does it with her eyes.

“All right. Remember that thing I said I’d help you with upstairs? Well… I won’t.”

“And if I don’t swear in front of Mom, you’ll make sure it happens?”

“I said I’d help…”

“You’ll
make sure it happens
?” Callen walks over to Max and puts his arm around him. They’re both looking at me, waiting for me to commit to the deal.

“Yeah. Fine. I will.” I have no clue how I’ll do that. I’ll undoubtedly need the help of Jon and Livvy.

“And if
you
swear in front of Mom…” Max starts.

“Then what? You leave my bed upstairs alone…” I could see his mind was going there.

“You have to run around the house five times in just your boxers.”

I shrug. “Nearly everyone here’s seen me in just my boxers…” Shea tucks her head into her hands. I walk over to her, pull them away and kiss her, running my thumbs along her blushing cheeks. “You’re here with me. They kind of know about me,” I whisper.

“Outside. Like, do laps
around
the house. And we get to put it on
YouTube
.”

“Yeah, I don’t wanna do that,” I comment quickly. “Sadly, it wouldn’t be the most embarrassing video of me on there.”

“Seriously?” Callen asks.

“You haven’t seen the one of him drunk in Chicago?” Max asks, taking Callen’s hand and dragging him to the desk in the middle of the living room.

“I haven’t, either,” Shea says, her hands poised to push herself up from the table.

“Fffffffrick. Go on.”

“You were drunk?” Mom asks quietly when we’re alone, taking over the task of drying now that she’s finished washing all the dishes. “Get some bread. And make a plate for Shea.”

I head straight toward the banana nut loaf, saving the pumpkin one for Jon. “It was one night,” I explain to her. “I wasn’t thinking… was trying to escape a really poor decision with a drink or two, but whatever the waitress served me hit me really fast, and, uh… well, the guys took care of me. Peron escorted me to the bus, but didn’t get me on it before I managed to strip off most of my clothes in the parking lot in front of a lot of our fans. He
says
he tried, but in a way, I think it was his sort of punishment. I kept my skivvies on, Mom, don’t worry.”

“Okay,” she says. “You’re lucky you weren’t arrested for public intoxication.”

“Maybe I am. But we watch out for one another.”

“So you’re drinking now?”

“No,” I assure her. “It was that one night. Still don’t have a taste for the shi–stuff.”

“What led up to that?” Shea asks, still laughing.

“Have some bread.” I wink at her as I hand her a plate, trying to inform her that she doesn’t want to know the answer to that question.

“Was that before you two met?” Mom asks.

“Yeah,” I tell her.

“Where’s that Rosser kid?” I hear Livvy yell from the other room.

“That’s your idol…”

“Oh, my God,” Shea says, touching her hair.

“Stop freaking out. You look beautiful, but she wouldn’t care if you didn’t,” I tell her. “She’s not like that. In here, Liv!”

I reach out to hug her, but she bypasses me and embraces my mother first, then stops in front of Shea next. “Are you the woman who made my baby a good eater?”

“Maybe?”

“She’s finally putting on weight. You’ve saved us. Shea, I’m Livvy, and I’m forever indebted to you.” My sister-in-law hugs her tightly.

“Oh, no, it was nothing…”

“It was
everything
to me. Jon’s bringing her in. Will, you’ll be amazed at how big she’s getting.”

“Well, look at
you
!” I say, seeing a tiny baby bump and reaching for her belly.

She grabs for me, squeezes way too hard, and whispers harshly in my ear. “Don’t you dare say another word because you are the only one that knows, and you better not be calling me big or I’ll take back the invitation to be Godfather so fast it’ll make your head spin. Got it?”

“Okay,” I’m barely able to respond.

“Love you, too!” she says cheerily after she lets me go to say hi to my little brother and Callen.

“Do
not
say a word about her being…
you know what
,” I say softly to Shea.

“Oh, okay. She
does
know she’s kind of showing, right?”

“
Certainly
don’t say that, or you’re gonna lose the lifelong friend you just made.”

She laughs lightly. “I’m not saying a word. But she’s even prettier in real life.”

“There’s your Uncle Will.” Jon enters the kitchen, handing Edie over to me.

“What do I do with her?” I ask him as she starts to fuss.

“You can talk to her… or sing to her… she
loves
riding on shoulders–you have to hold on to her with both hands.”

“She’s so much bigger than I remember her,” I say, lifting her in front of my face and staring into her brown eyes. She still doesn’t seem too certain about me.

“They
grow
, Will,” Livvy says sarcastically. “She’s crawling now. And she said ‘mama’ last week.”

“It was ‘baba,’” Jon argues. “I like to think of it as a dyslexic ‘dada.’”

Edie’s eyes drift to Shea, getting wider just before she presses her little lips together to make a raspberry noise with the help of her tongue. We start laughing when my niece does, which makes me laugh even harder.

“She loves making people laugh,” my brother also informs me. “She takes after Max.”

“She’s the cutest thing.”

“You don’t have to hold her like she has cooties, Will.”

I hug her close to me, letting her grip my t-shirt in her tiny hand. She looks up at me curiously. “It’s been a long time since I’ve held a baby like this. That’s all.”

“You’re doing fine. Is that pumpkin bread?” he asks. I nod. “You made it?” Shea responds and walks over to serve him a piece.

“Jon, don’t let her do that. She’s a guest here,” my mom says nervously.

“Margie,” Shea pleads with her, “I feel at home in here, so please don’t kick me out. I haven’t had my own kitchen to work in for over a month now… it would mean a lot if I could help out just a little.”

Mom finally relents. “Okay. But the second it starts to feel like work, I want you to stop and relax and spend time with Will. I know you two don’t get to see much of each other.”

“No, we don’t,” I say to Mom while I look at Shea.

“I know he wants to spend time with you.”

Shea looks at my mother. “And I know Will wants to spend time with
you
.”

The look of surprise on Mom’s face is priceless.

Around seven, my mother takes the baby into her bedroom to rock her to sleep while the rest of us break out a card game of Max’s that’s not Mom-appropriate. It’s not really
anyone
-appropriate, but it’s funny as hell. I’m not sure Edie will be able to sleep through the laughter if our game is anything like the ones we play on the road.

I decide it’s probably a good time to talk to my mother.

“Hey,” I whisper in Shea’s ear before kissing her cheek. “You okay out here if I go, uh… do some groveling?”

She takes my hand and walks me into the kitchen. “Remember what we talked about. You don’t have to grovel, Will. Your feelings are valid. You were hurt long ago. Some people find it easy to forgive, forget, and move on. Other people don’t. You were not wrong in how you’ve felt your whole life. What’s important is that you’re ready to try something different. You’ve had some realizations. You learned some things about yourself. Just go have a conversation with her.
Don’t grovel
.”

I nod my head and accept the kiss she stands on her tiptoes to give me.

“Make me proud with the game… take pictures of the good hands, okay?”

“You mean the
bad
hands.”