"Couldn't sleep."
"I told you, you're safe here, Mary." His fingers found the base of her neck and massaged deeply. "Damn, you're tense. You sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine. Really." He stopped the rubbing. "Do you ever answer that question truthfully?"
"I just did."
Sort of
.
His hand resumed the stroking. "Will you promise me something?"
"What?"
"Will you let me know when you're not okay?" His voice became teasing. "I mean, I know you're tough, so I won't hold my breath for it or anything. You won't have to worry about killing me over this."
She laughed. "I promise."
He tilted her chin up with his finger, eyes grave. "I'm going to keep you to that." Then he dropped a kiss to her cheek. "Listen, I was going to head down to the kitchen and grab something to eat. You want to come with me? The house is quiet. The other brothers are still out."
"Sure. Let me change."
"Just put on one of my fleeces." He went over to the dresser and took out something soft, black, and the size of a tarp. "I like the idea of you wearing my clothes."
As he helped her into it, his smile was a very masculine expression of satisfaction. And possessiveness.
And damned if it didn't suit his face to a tee.
By the time they finished eating and were back upstairs in his room, Rhage was having trouble concentrating. The hum was roaring in full force, worse than ever before. And he was totally aroused, his body so hot he felt like his blood was going to dry out in his veins.
As Mary went over to the bed and settled in, he took a quick shower and wondered if he shouldn't give his erection a release before he came back out. The damn thing was hard, stiff, aching like a bitch, and the water rushing down his body made him think of Mary's hands on his skin. He palmed himself and remembered the feel of her moving against his mouth as he pleasured her soft secrets. He lasted, like, less man a minute.
When it was over, the empty orgasm just juiced him up more. It was like his body knew the real thing was out in the bedroom and had no intention of being diverted.
Cursing, he stepped out and toweled off, then headed for his closet. With a prayer for Fritz's attention to detail, he hunted around until he found—
thank you, God
—a set of pajamas he'd never put on before. He shrugged into them and then threw on the matching robe for good measure.
Rhage grimaced, feeling like he was wearing half the damn closet. But that was the point.
"Is the room too warm for you?" he asked, as he willed a candle to light and turned off the lamp.
"It's perfect." Personally, he thought he was in the flipping tropics. And the temperature jacked higher as he approached the bed and sat on the opposite side from her.
"Listen, Mary, in about an hour, at four forty-five, you're going to hear the shutters closing for the day. They slide down on tracks over the windows. It's not that loud, but I don't want you to be startled."
"Thanks."
Rhage lay down on top of the comforter and crossed his feet at the ankles. Everything irritated him, the hot room, the PJs, the robe. Now he knew what presents felt like, all trussed up in paper and ribbons: itchy.
"Do you normally wear all that to bed?" she asked.
"Absolutely."
"Then why's the tag still on that robe?"
"In case I want another, I'll know what it is."
He turned on his side, away from her. Rolled back over so he stared at the ceiling again. A minute later, he tried his stomach.
"Rhage." Her voice was lovely in the dim quiet.
"What?"
"You sleep in the nude, right?"
"Ah, usually."
"Look, you can lose the clothes. It's not going to bother me."
"I didn't want you to feel… uncomfortable."
"What's making me uncomfortable is you flopping around on that side of the bed. I feel like a tossed salad over here."
He would have chuckled at her reasonable tone, but the hot pump between his legs sucked the humor right out of him.
Ah, hell, if he thought the getup he had on was going to keep him in check, he was out of his mind. He wanted her so badly that short of chain mail, what he was or was not wearing wasn't going to make a lick of difference.
Keeping his back to her, he stood up and stripped. With some finessing, he managed to get himself under the covers without flashing her a glimpse of what the front of him was up to. That monstrous arousal was nothing she needed to know about.
He faced away from her, lying on his side. "Can I touch it?" she asked.
His erection jerked, as if volunteering to be the "it." 'Touch what?"
"The tattoo. I'd like to… touch it."
God, she was so close to him, and that voice of hers—that sweet, beautiful voice—was magic. But the hum in his body made him feel like he had a paint mixer in his belly.
When he stayed quiet, she murmured, "Never mind. I don't—"
"No. It's just…"
Shit
. He hated the distance in her tone. "Mary, it's okay. Do whatever you like."
He heard sheets brushing against sheets. Felt the mattress move a little. And then her fingertips brushed his shoulder. He kept his flinch to himself as best he could.
"Where did you get it done?" she whispered, tracing the curse's outline. "The artwork is extraordinary."
His whole body tensed as he felt precisely where she was on the beast. She was going across its left foreleg now, and he knew it because he felt the corresponding tingle in his own limb.
Rhage closed his eyes, getting trapped between the pleasure of having her hand on him and the reality that he was flirting with disaster. The vibration, the burning—it was all rising, called out of darkest, most destructive core of him.
He inhaled through his teeth as she stroked the beast's flank.
"Your skin is so smooth," she said, running her palm down his spine.
Frozen in place, unable to breathe, he prayed for self-control.
"And… well, anyway." She pulled back. "I think it's beautiful."
He was on top of her before he knew he'd moved. And he wasn't a gentleman. He pushed his thigh between her legs, pinned her arms over her head, and found her mouth with his own. As she arched into him, he grabbed hold of her nightgown and yanked up hard. He was going to take her. At this very moment and in his bed, just as he'd wanted to.
And she was going to be
perfect
.
Her thighs yielded to him, opening wide, and she urged him on, his name a hoarse moan leaving her lips. The sound lit off a violent shaking in him, one that dimmed his vision and sent pulses down his arms and legs. The taking of her consumed him, stripped him of whatever civilized lid there was on his instincts. He was raw, wild and…
On the verge of the scorching implosion that was the curse's calling card.
Terror gave him the strength he needed to leap off her and stumble across the room. He slammed into something. The wall.
"Rhage!" Sinking down onto the floor, he put his trembling hands over his face, knowing his eyes were white. His body shook so badly his words came out in waves. "I'm out of my mind___This is… Shit, I can't… I need to stay away from you."
"Why? I don't want you to stop—"
He talked right over her. "I'm starved for you, Mary. I'm so damn… hungry, but I can't have you. I won't take… you."
"Rhage," she snapped, as if trying to get through to him. "Why not?"
"You don't want me. Trust me, you really don't want me like that."
"The hell I don't."
He wasn't about to tell her he was a beast waiting to happen. So he chose to disgust her rather than scare her. "I've had eight different females this week alone."
There was a long pause. "Good… God."
"I don't want to lie to you. Ever. So let me be very clear. I've had a lot of anonymous sex. I've been with so many females, none of whom I've cared about. And I don't want you to ever think I'd use you like that."
Now that his pupils felt as though they were black again, he looked over at her.
'Tell me you practice safe sex," she muttered.
"When the females ask me to, I do."
Her eyes flared. "And when they don't?"
"I could no more get the common cold from one of them than I could HIV or hep C or any STD. And I'm not a carrier of those diseases, either. Human viruses don't affect us."
She pulled the sheets up around her shoulders. "How do you know you're not getting them pregnant? Or can't humans and vampires…"
"Half-breeds are rare, but it does happen. And it's obvious to me when the females are fertile. I can smell it. If they are, or are close, I don't have sex with them, even using protection. My children, when I have them, will be born in safety in my world. And I will love their mother."
Mary's eyes skipped away, becoming fixed, haunted. He looked up to see what she was staring at. It was the Madonna and Child painting over the dresser.
"I'm glad you told me," she finally said. "But why does it have to be with strangers? Why can you be with someone you… Actually, don't answer that. It's none of my business."
"I'd rather be with you, Mary. Not being inside of you is… torture. I want you so badly I can't stand it."
He blew out his breath. "But can you honestly tell me that you want me now? Although… hell, even if you did, there's still something else. The way you go to my head, it's like I told you before. I'm scared of losing control. You affect me differently than other females do."
There was another long silence. She broke it.
"Tell me again that you're miserable we're not sleeping together," she said dryly.
"I am utterly miserable. Achy. Hard all the time. Distracted and pissed off."
"Good." She laughed a little. "Boy, I'm a bitch, aren't I?"
"Not at all."
The room grew quiet. Eventually he lay down and curled onto his side, resting his head on his arm.
She sighed. "I don't expect you to sleep on the floor now."
"It's better this way."
"For chrissakes, Rhage, get up here."
His voice dropped to a low growl. "If I come back to that bed, there's no way I'm not going for that sweet spot be-tween your legs. And it wouldn't be just my hands and my tongue this time. It would be right back to where we were. My body on top of yours, every thick inch of me desperate to get into you."
As he caught the luscious scent of her arousal, the air between them surged with sex. And inside his body, he turned back into a live wire.
"Mary, I'd better go. I'll come back after you're asleep."
He left before she could utter another word. As the door shut behind him, he sagged against the wall in the corridor. Being out of the room helped. It was harder to catch her scent that way.
He heard a laugh and looked over to see Phury sauntering down the corridor.
"You look strung out, Hollywood. As well as really goddamned naked."
Rhage covered himself with his hands. "I don't know how you can take it."
The brother stopped, swirling the mug of hot cider he carried. 'Take what?"
"The celibacy."
"Don't tell me your female won't have you?"
"That's not the problem."
"So why you out in this hall standing at full attention?"
"I, ah, don't want to hurt her." Phury looked taken aback. "You're a big one, but you've never injured a female. At least not that I've known."
"No, it's just… I want her so badly, I'm… I'm juiced, man."
Phury's yellow eyes narrowed. "You talking about your beast?"
Rhage looked away. "Yeah."
The whistle that came out of the brother was grim. "Well… hell, you'd better take care of yourself. You want to pay her respect, that's fine. But you keep yourself on the level or you're
really
going to hurt her, you feel me? Find a fight, find some other females if you have to, but you make sure you're calm. And if you need some red smoke, you come to me. I'll give you some of my O-Zs, no problem."
Rhage took a deep breath. "I'll pass on the smokes right now. But can I borrow some sweats and a pair of Nikes? I'm going to try to run myself into exhaustion."
Phury clapped him on the back. "Come on, my brother. I'm more than happy to cover your ass."
Chapter Twenty-five
