She reached forward and turned off the shower. Squeezing her hair to get rid of the excess water, she found herself taking deep breaths to calm herself. She stepped out of the shower and wrapped her hair and her body in the plush pink towels that she had left out.
She found that she was shaking again. She slid weakly down the bathroom wall to sit on the cold tile floor. She sat on the floor with her head leaning back against the soft pink tiles on the wall. It was a while before she could move. She didn’t really know how many minutes had passed before she had the strength to stand.
She used the counter to steady herself as she pulled herself up and made her way to the sink. She once again brushed her teeth methodically, then reached forward with a shaking hand and filled the small cup on the counter with cold water, drinking it slowly. Turning off the cold water, she grabbed for the hand towel and wiped her face and her mouth weakly. She looked at her reflection in the partially misted mirror and found empty, cold eyes staring back at herself.
She left the bathroom as it was. She would clean it in the morning. She took her brush and hair dryer from the drawer and walked out into her bedroom. It was cool in the house and she was grateful. She could hear the humming of the central air conditioning unit. It soothed her to hear the familiar sound.
She brushed her hair quickly then tossed the dryer and brush onto her bed and reached out to pull open two drawers of her bureau. Taking out a clean pair of underwear and pajamas, she got dressed quickly then sat down on her bed, plugged in her hair dryer and turned it on. She was lost in thought as she felt the heat on her face and her hair. It helped to lull her almost to sleep.
After brushing her hair, she made her way back to the kitchen. She took out two ice trays and put some ice cubes into four separate freezer bags. Taking kitchen towels from the drawer beside the sink, she wrapped the contained ice in each one and carried them back to her bedroom.
She turned off the lights and settled herself in bed, placing the covered ice on each of her cheeks and on her breasts. The coolness of the ice helped somewhat. Considering what she had been through, she doubted she would really sleep, but she was determined to get some rest. The house was quiet and cool. Rachel tried to concentrate on her even breathing to try to lull herself to sleep but it was of no use. She couldn’t sleep despite her exhaustion.
The events of the evening inundated her thoughts and she found herself moaning in fear. She kept seeing Richard’s face and hearing his cruel words. Her skin crawled as his attack replayed in her mind. It was nearly noon when sleep finally claimed her, but even that was fitful and unsettling. After what seemed an eternity of disturbing flashes of Richard, the haunting scenes abated.
She settled into a deep sleep and began to dream, finding herself calming as she scented the comforting cinnamon and sugar fragrance once again. She felt the warmth that surrounded her and gave in to the feeling of love and protection that she always felt when she experienced that delicious smell. It was one that she often felt as a child. It didn’t matter that the scent hadn’t really been a part of her adult life very much. Now that it was back, she was glad for it. The dream that came to her was unbidden, but she found herself opening herself up to the experience of it.
The figure was in shadow. He was tall and broad but she couldn’t see his face. Something about him was familiar, and she found that she wasn’t afraid as she stepped forward to stand before him. She watched as his hand took hers and she noticed that he wore a red flannel shirt.
“Rachel, I’m waiting for you,” his deep voice spoke to her soothingly.
“Who are you?” she asked the shadow.
“I’ll hold you and protect you,” he answered her.
“No!” she cried out to him. “I don’t want to be touched.”
“Don’t worry, honey,” his soothing voice assured her. “No one will ever hurt you again.”
“Yes they will,” Rachel called out to him. “You can’t stop him.”
“I will,” he told her with conviction. “I will love you, and hold you, and touch you.”
He leaned forward and reached up to hold her face gently within his large hands. Her eyes closed as his lips covered hers, kissing her sweetly once, then again, humming against her lips with happiness.
“I could kiss you forever, honey,” he told her softly.
Rachel tried to look through the shadows that surrounded the man who spoke so gently to her, but she couldn’t see his face.
“This isn’t real,” she whimpered. “You aren’t real for me.”
“I’ll see you soon,” he answered, stepping back into the fog of her dream.
“Wait! Don’t leave,” she called out to him.
“I won’t,” he promised. “I’ll be here.”
Rachel turned over in bed and snuggled deeply into her blankets, finally settling into a deep sleep. She somehow felt that everything would be okay.
“What a bastard!” Paulette said, horrified. “Did you call the police, Rachel?”
“Yes. I spent the rest of the night at the hospital being examined and giving my statement to the police,” Rachel said, smiling at the concern of her cousin Roy’s wife. Paulette had to be one of the nicest people she had ever met. To hear her swear was actually kind of funny.
When she had called Roy, she hadn’t been able to hold it together. Once she had heard his gentle voice, she had fallen apart. She knew she upset him, but she couldn’t help it. He stayed on the phone with her for a while, listening to how she had been attacked before he gave the phone to Paulette. He was angry, but he was more concerned for her. That made her calm somewhat. Roy had always been her protector. So had Sam.
“Don’t get all worked up, Paulette. It’s not good for the baby,” Rachel said calmly, worried for her.
“The baby is fine,” Paulette told her quickly, her patience nearly gone. “You and Roy really need to lighten up. I swear, it must be a family trait. You both drive me crazy with the way you worry.”
“I could say the same about you, Paulette,” Rachel told her, laughing softly.
“Hey! I’m not the one who was nearly raped by a sadistic asshole!” Paulette yelled. “I have just cause to worry about you!”
“Okay, Paulette,” Rachel said quickly, trying to calm down her cousin-in-law. “I love you, too.”
There was silence on the phone. Rachel knew that Paulette was trying to calm down. She didn’t want to upset her. Roy was worried enough about his wife’s health.
“Honey, try to calm down,” she could hear Roy’s voice in the background.
Rachel heard the distinct sound of a kiss and knew that Roy was loving Paulette into calmness. Or maybe he wasn’t.
“Hey! Tell Roy to stop hitting on you,” Rachel said, teasing Paulette. “I need to talk to you, and if he keeps distracting you with his kisses, I won’t be able to.”
“Good point,” Paulette said quickly. “Roy, keep your hands to yourself. Let me talk to Rachel. We can make love after.”
“Geez, Paulette! Too much information!” Rachel groused, laughing softly when she heard Roy kissing his wife one more time before there was relative quiet.
“Okay, Rachel,” Paulette said, laughing softly. “Mr. Grabby Hands is giving me a break so we can talk.”
Rachel couldn’t contain the bark of laughter that escaped her. As tired as she was from driving continuously for the last three days from Connecticut on her journey to Colorado, she couldn’t help but feel lighter from talking with Paulette.
“So, tell me what else,” Paulette urged her quietly.
“There’s nothing else,” Rachel protested softly.
“Rachel, I know you. Something else happened. What, honey?”
Rachel hesitated, her throat constricting as she fought to keep her emotions under control. “Please don’t tell Roy,” she finally whispered.
“You know I won’t,” Paulette promised.
“I know.” Rachel hesitated, trying to remember the hateful words that Richard had spoken to her.
“Tell me, Rache,” Paulette urged her.
“He said that no one would ever want me,” Rachel said quietly, embarrassed by the words. “He said that even I would be attractive in the dark.”
“Shit!”
“Yeah. Pretty much.”
“You know he’s wrong, right, honey?”
Rachel remained silent. Even though she logically knew that Richard spoke those words to hurt her, emotionally she couldn’t help but be affected by them. She had lived a lifetime of isolation. She often questioned her worth as a woman. She ached to feel the love of a man who cherished her and desired her. She hadn’t ever felt that in her life, and Richard’s words had hit a nerve.
“I don’t really know that, Paulette,” she finally admitted, her voice only a whisper.
“Oh, Rachel,” Paulette said softly, her heart breaking for her husband’s cousin. “You should know that. Please don’t allow him to mess with your mind. Don’t give him that power over you. He’s a jerk. He’s a pig. He’s worse than that. He’s the mud that a pig rolls in. No. He’s the bugs in the mud that a pig rolls in.”
Rachel laughed out loud at that one. “Paulette, you’re the best. I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Paulette said softly. “Come home to us. We need you to stay with us.”
“No. I’m going to the campground that Roy recommended,” Rachel said firmly. “Please don’t be offended, Paulette. I just need some time alone. I need the fresh air of the mountains. I don’t want to have to make conversation. I just want to relax and write. I have tons of edits to finish. I really need the peace of the campground.”
Paulette sighed heavily. “Okay. I understand. I’ll give you your space. Roy will, too. But I need to see you. Promise me that you’ll come and spend some time with us.”
“I promise. You’ll have to let me know when you feel up to me visiting. If you’re too tired, you need to tell me.”
“Okay, honey. You drive carefully,” Paulette said softly. “Call me whenever you want. I’m pretty much stuck at home for the duration of my pregnancy, so I’ll be here whenever you need to talk.”
“Are you okay, Paulette? Is the baby okay?”
“Yes. Don’t you start, too! Roy is driving me crazy with his constant questions.”
“That’s because he loves you so much,” Rachel whispered, smiling at the thought of the two of them. She was so happy that Roy had found someone so wonderful to love who absolutely adored him. She couldn’t have picked a better wife for him.
“Yeah, well, the feeling is mutual,” Paulette whispered.
“I know,” Rachel whispered back. “Go on and be with your husband. You promised him that you would make love to him when you got off the phone with me.”
Paulette laughed softly. “Talk to you tomorrow, honey.”
“Tomorrow,” Rachel said quickly, ending the call and concentrating on the road ahead of her.
She liked driving at night. The traffic was much lighter. She planned on driving for another couple of hours before stopping for the night. She knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep, but she would get a room at one of the hotels on the way and do her best to get some rest before continuing her trip in the morning.
She wondered if she would have more dreams tonight. She had dreamed about her mystery lover every night since she had arrived home from New York City. At first, the dreams were frustrating and she didn’t want to experience them. But now, she looked forward to each one of them. Each dream made her feel protected and loved.
She continued to drive with a smile on her face, thinking about her cousin, his wife Paulette, and the place where she had grown up surrounded by friends and family. It wouldn’t be long before she was safely home deep within the mountains—the one place she had always felt protected and loved.
* * * *
Paulette placed her cell phone on the bedside table, turning over slowly so she could face her husband. She smiled when Roy’s arms surrounded her immediately, and he drew her close against his chest.
“So, how’s Rache?” he asked softly.
“Not bad considering what happened to her,” Paulette said honestly.
Roy nodded, his jaw clenching as he thought about the attack on his younger cousin. “She told you about it?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Was it bad?”
“Yes.”
“I could kill that guy.”
“Me, too.”
Roy concentrated on calming himself. Just thinking about Rachel going through her attack made him sick to his stomach. He never understood how any man could hurt a woman.
“What else did she say?”
“She told me about some of the things he said to her during the attack,” Paulette answered honestly. “Rachel doesn’t want me to tell you.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s humiliating to her.”
“She needs to come here and live,” he said firmly.
“She needs to fall in love,” Paulette whispered, leaning forward and kissing the underside of Roy’s jaw. She smiled at the soft growl that escaped him at her touch.
“She’s already in love,” Roy said, trying really hard to concentrate.
“I know, honey,” Paulette agreed. “We’re going to make sure that she finally gets her man.”