Lovers and Other Strangers Box Set: The Boston Stories (30 page)

"Yeah, something like that. Gotta go, I'll keep what you said in mind." He hung up and looked down at Evie. Her hair was swirled around her head like a halo, She was more naked than not, hell, she hadn't worn any panties. He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath that hurt his chest.

"Get dressed." He couldn't believe he was doing this. He didn't entirely understand why he was doing this. She looked at him in confusion.

"But..."

"Get dressed Evie. You need to sleep in your own bed."

"But I want..."

"God dammit, don't say it, please." The last part sounded as desperate as he felt. She sat up and clutched the shirt over her chest.

"I...I don't understand. What did I do wrong?" He wasn't handling this well at all. Why did this feel like a sucker punch to the gut. He should be thrilled but the last time he'd taken a girl's virginity was back in his freshman year of high school and he had been a virgin too.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I, I just need to think."

"Fine." She sounded like it was anything but fine.

"The security guys called earlier today, they finished up this afternoon. I'll move back tomorrow."

"Evie, you don't have to do that."

"Yes, I do. You have been very gracious about letting me stay here. But you are right we don't know each other all that well and I obviously was wrong about... I'll be gone in the morning."

"I wasn't being gracious, I wanted you to stay here."

"Well, I think maybe I've overstayed my welcome. It will be good to get back to work and my normal life again."

"Evie, I just need to figure some things out. I need to clear my head some so I can think. I never said you had to leave."

"No, its better this way. I'll call you when I get settled back into my routine, I promise."

"If that is what you want."

"I think its best. The space will be good, let you figure things out." He felt like everything important was swirling around him just out of his grasp. If he could catch just one thing then he could get the rest to fall into line but nothing stood still long enough for him to figure out what all the important things even were, let alone make them make sense. She got up and went to her bedroom.

He sat there for hours trying to make sense of how he felt. He was crazy about her, he knew that, he'd even told her he loved her. It hurt that she hadn't said it back but he'd gotten the feeling she was definitely moving in the right direction. She had even come in here tonight saying she was tired of the bullshit of the last couple of days and was ready to... Actually that was all she'd said, he hadn't given her a chance to say anything else before he pounced on her and then Michael had called. Hell, he had no more idea now of what to think than he did when she'd walked out. If he could just hold her, hear her say she loved him back then it would make sense.

He couldn't help himself and went to her room like he had done each night for the last couple of days. He watched her chest rise and fall with her breathing. The light from the streetlamp reflected off the tracks of her tears on her cheeks. He closed his eye at the ache that caused in his chest. He had screwed up badly, his fear of being out of control with her had gotten him to the point where he had made this woman he loved cry and the thought caused him physical pain. She turned her head towards him and he was surprised to find she was still awake.

"What did you want Joseph?"

"Oh, ugh, nothing. I was just coming to check on you. Make sure you were okay. Are you?"

"Like those other nights?"

"You knew about that?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Go to bed."

"Come with me."

"No."

"I need to hold you, please."

"I don't think that is a good idea. I think you should go."

"Evie..."

"Just go." It came out as a sob and then she turned over to face the wall. He backed out the door and went back to his room.

Cam didn't know how to fix this. He had always fixed everyone's problems, it was what he was good at. But this, he'd fallen in love with someone so wonderful and rare, he'd known that even before he found out she was a virgin, he'd wanted to make love to her not just for the physical release. Hell, he wanted that too, but not just that. They had known each other forever and not at all. He had to find some way to make her see she did love him and he had to find some way around his fear of hurting her.

He spent the part of the morning helping her load up her car. When she was finally packed he asked if she wanted breakfast.

"You don't have to do that."

"I know I don't have to, I want to. I like eating meals with you, hell I like just sitting around doing nothing with you." She gave him a weak smile.

"Come on, its not like you've got anything at your place. Let me make you breakfast." She thought about it for a second and realized he was right. There wasn't any food at her loft so it was eat here or at the diner.

"Fine, but something quick." He laughed he had no intention of making something quick."

"Sure how about I make you some crepes."

"I thought you only knew how to make Italian."

"I do, Dad would make manicotti from scratch, turns out it uses crepes as the noodle part. So I can make crepes too."

"Crepes aren't quick."

"Sure they are. You want sweet or savory?"

"What do you mean?"

"I've got ham and cheese or I can do some ricotta and preserves."

"Both sound good, you can pick.

"If both is what you want then both is what you'll have. Keep me company while I cook." That got her to sit down at least.

"Joseph, I should just go."

"No! I would be a lousy host if I just let you leave, you can have some breakfast, we can talk some, come on one last meal before you go, even a dying man gets a last meal."

"Fine, you know I find you irresistible when you smile like that." She smirked at him but stayed put. He took his first full breath in way too long. He'd come up with the loose working of a plan but wasn't feeling all that confident about it. Her sitting there eating breakfast was a major hurdle he'd jumped. He was able to keep the conversation light while he cooked. She moved around his kitchen like she owned the place getting the stuff together to dress the crepes up. He liked watching her looking so comfortable there. When they had almost finished eating he reached over and held her hand.

"You look tense, let me give you a back rub," She started to object. He held up his hands "I promise I'm not going to undress you if that is what you're afraid of."

"Right."

"No, really. You're so tense, let me help. Come sit on my knees so I can get a better angle."

"Joseph." He didn't say a word. If she did it, another hurdle cleared. If she didn't, well, he'd have to come up with a plan B. She thought about for a second longer and then got up and perched on his knees with her back to him. He reached under the hem of her shirt and started just rubbing to warm his hands up.

"Sorry my hands are cold, they'll warm up in a second." She stiffened up and then started to relax again. Once his hands were warmed he started at the base of her spine and gently kneaded his thumbs in to the tight muscles. She let out a puff of air.

"Feel good?" She just shook her head yes. "I'm going to go lower."He hooked his thumbs down below the waist band of her jeans, even under the lace of her underwear.

"Hey!"

"I've got to do the back of your hips or it won't really be any use." She turned and looked him in the eye. He tried to think his most innocent thoughts. It must have worked because she turned to face away from him and let him continue. He smiled as another hurdle crashed down. He kept working his thumbs into her back and then up her spine. His hands were under the shirt and while he couldn't see anything he was soaking up the feel of her skin. He took a deep breath to tamp down his desire, this wasn't about him, it was about making her feel good. When he worked his way up to her neck he took his hands out from under her shirt and started on the base of her skull. Her bones felt so tiny in his hands, like one wrong move or too much force and he'd break her. His hands stilled and on reflex he kissed the back of her neck. She melted back against him and he slid his hands down her thighs cradling her against his body.

"That was... wonderful. I... I should go." She sounded like she was on the verge of tears. If she needed space then he'd give her space. He had no intention of letting her get away. Last night and this morning had convinced him that if he wanted to do this right he needed to get some professional advice. So she could go back to the pleasure dome but that didn't mean he was giving up on her.

"Do you have everything you need?"

"I think so, if not I'll call you or, you call me."

"Evie, I'm willing to give you some space but I'm not saying good bye."

"I... I don't want you to say good bye. I just... this week has been crazy, not wrong but..."

"Intense. Like a hurricane."

"Yes. I feel like I need to process it all. Does that make any sense?"

"Sure, I kind of feel that way too. But I want you, er, us to still be good together."

"I do too." She was looking at her feet when she said it. Cam tilted her face up to look at him. She gave him a quick smile and then a kiss and walked out of the kitchen. He heard her car start and then she was gone. His chest ached and the house was too damn quiet. He needed to start getting things in motion. First, he needed to do a little detective work.

"Sal?"

"Cam? Is Delia okay?"

"She's fine, off raising hell as usual."

"Nobody's dead?"

"No! Geez, a brother can't call his sister?"

"You can, you just don't."

"Sorry, how are things going out there? You still cooking at that ranch?"

"Yeah, I'm still stuck in Salvation, the land time forgot. Thank God for cell phone towers and Amazon." She started laughing. Cam realized it had been a long time since his sister had laughed like she meant it.

"You sound good, relaxed. How's the writing going?"

"Actually I haven't been writing much. Mostly just recharging the batteries but it has been good. It has been interesting here. I get the feeling my writing will have changed when I get back to it, in a good way. So you didn't call to find out how many words a day I'm pumping out so spill it little brother."

"I met this woman..."

"Don't tell me the Casanova of Jamaica Plains is looking for relationship advice?"

"Shut up. Seriously she's... special. Delia's met her, the little witch even liked her and you know how she is."

"This woman would have to be something else for my child to not make her life miserable for dating her Uncle Cam. Delia likes her and you are calling me for advice? Does this woman have any idea she has the world tipped off its axis? Seriously, what do you want to know, though I don't know how I can help all the way out here."

"I need to sweep her off her feet, without using my usual talents, if you know what I mean."

"So no dumping on your bed and having your wicked way with her."

"You know sometimes I hate that you write romance novels."

"Nah, you just hate that I model all the rakes after you. You do know the first rule of romance novel rakes don't you?"

"No."

"The more jaded the rake, the harder they fall and usually for the most innocent miss too."

"Shit. That is not funny."

"Oh God, is it true?" She started cackling over the phone.

"Shut up or I'll throw your daughter out on her ass." She laughed harder if it was possible.

"You wouldn't dare, you love that kid like she was your own and it is a good thing too, she is a piece of work."

"Sal, I'm serious here. Evie is, hell, I want to marry her but she's...

"Wait, you can't use your usual seduction talents, she's different, you want to marry her... Holy hell, she's a virgin isn't she? Cam, if you are robbing the cradle here..."

"No! We went to high school together, but yeah she's..."

"Wow, no wonder you're freaked out. That is just so not your regular cup of tea. Well, do you know why she's never..."

"No. She said it wasn't about waiting till she's married and um, we haven't exactly been sitting around holding hands so I don't think its fear of actually having sex."

"How well did you know her in high school? Did something happen that scared her off relationships?"

"She went through a rough couple of years during high school, glasses, braces on her teeth and legs. She was one of those girls that came in to their own later. I suspect she was gorgeous by the time she graduated from college but by then she was so introverted..."

"Wow, you weren't kidding. She is different for you. So maybe she is waiting till she falls in love. Not such a bad thing."

"But I want her to fall in love with me." His sister laughed and he wanted to hang up on her. "Look if you aren't going to help..."

"I'm thinking! How into you is she? Are you starting from scratch here or do you think she feels the same way about you that you do about her?"

"well, I've already told her I love her but..."

"Damn, you're serious. Okay, there are lots of reason she might not say it back. The first being you caught her off guard and she wasn't ready for it yet."

"It was pretty fast and we were, ugh, in the middle of..."

"Okay, spare me the details. So lets assume she feels the same way but she's shy or unsure of how to tell you or hell Cam, you can be pretty over the top when it comes to stuff like this."

"I know that is why I'm calling you! My caveman instincts are no good here."

"So go the other way. Try being the courtly gentleman."

"How?"

"Go the old fashioned route. Ask her parents to court her. Be the romantic I know you keep buried under your caveman exterior. Whisk her away for a romantic weekend that doesn't include sex, well knowing you that may not be a good idea."

"If I talk to her parents first, what do you think about eloping?"

"Ugh, a little fast don't you think?"

"Sal, she stayed here for a week, mostly in your old room. When she left this morning to go back to her place, suddenly the house was vacant and I mean totally and completely absent of life. I feel like an old dog who's lost his home. I realized this is just a house but where ever Evie is, is home. I know it sounds corny and I fucked with Michael when he would say shit like this about his wife but I get it now. I'm in deep here."