Lover's Leap (24 page)

“You should have told me, Mom,” Lori said, blinking back tears of her own. “You shouldn’t have left it for me to find out this way.”

“I know.” Sarah closed her eyes and rubbed them with the tips of her fingers. “For that I’m sorry.”

“But you’re not sorry that you’ve been sleeping with him? You’re not sorry that you’ve made a spectacle of yourself in front of the entire town? What in the world are you thinking? I swear, I feel like we have this role-reversal thing going on. I’m an adult, and you never made it past your teenaged years. Mom, why? Why, after all these years, after some of the really nice guys you wouldn’t give the time of day, do you let Cam Murphy worm his way back into your bed? Cam Murphy!”

She said his name like it was interchangeable with the words
dog crap
. Cam ground his teeth. The Eternity Springs attitude was sure coming out in his daughter this afternoon.

Sarah wrapped her arms around herself. “Lori, honey, you don’t understand.”

“I’ll never understand. You could have married a great guy like Zach, and instead you hook up with him.” She jerked her head toward Cam. She hadn’t looked at him or so much as acknowledged his presence since he walked into the house.

He needed to do something with his hands. Something to keep him from punching the wall in frustration. Cam strode toward the sink. He pulled a wrench from the junk drawer and went to work tightening the fitting. Why wouldn’t she just shut up and give her mother a chance to talk? He wanted to say that aloud, but he knew he couldn’t. He hadn’t been her parent for twenty years. Now was not the moment to start.

Sarah began, “Your father and I—”

“Don’t call him that. I’ve told you how I feel about that. Surely you don’t think we can be one big happy family.” She gave Cam a cutting glance.

Great
. She’d give a nicer look to someone who poisoned Daisy and Duke.

“No.” Sarah shook her head. “That’s not what this was about. I … we … Oh.” Sarah buried her face in her hands. “This was a mistake. The entire thing. I knew it.”

A mistake
. Cam drew up straight. She might as well have plunged a knife into him.

Frustration churned in his gut. He had to be careful here. He sensed that his future relationship with Lori—and, hell, maybe even with Sarah—hung in the balance right now. He needed to keep his temper and choose his words carefully.

What could he say that could reach past her anger? What would she hear?
Keep it simple, stupid
. Cam turned around and faced his daughter. “Lori, I’m in love with your mother.”

Damned if she didn’t roll her eyes and sneer. “Oh, really. And that’s supposed to make this all okay? Seems like she’s been down this road before. Tell me you at least used protection this time.”

Why, the little witch
, Cam thought as Sarah gasped a breath, then said, “That crosses the line, Lori Elizabeth.”

“You can’t trust him, Mother!” Lori warned, facing Sarah. “You know that. He’ll run out on you again. He’ll break your heart again.”

“He’s not going to break my heart.”

Because you haven’t given it to me, have you?
Anger simmered inside of Cam, and he clenched the wrench in his hand hard.

He closed his eyes. Summoned his patience. Told himself to cut Lori some slack. She obviously felt threatened and probably betrayed. In her shoes, he’d probably think the same thing.

“Lori, I know this is confusing, but—”

She snorted, her eyes filled with derision. “It’s not confusing at all. It’s pretty clear to me that none of it was real. You never wanted me in your life. That was just a way to get into Mom’s”—she paused significantly, and when she dropped her gaze to Sarah’s hips, Cam glared right back at her—“good graces. I’ll bet she threw a wrench in your works when she asked me to come home. You probably thought you could show up here, get you some, and get out without ever having to lay eyes on your little mistake.”

“Lori!” Sarah said. “That’s so wrong. It was my idea to bring you home this weekend, my decision. It was time. He’s your father.”

“No, he isn’t!” The fury in her tone brooked no argument. “He can take his new car, his new son, and his DNA, and go back down under. It can’t be far enough away.”

Lori shook with anger as she rose to her feet, focused on Cam, her gaze hard and hot, her fists clenched at her sides. “You didn’t want me then. You don’t want me now. You know and I know it. The problem is that Mom is gullible where you are concerned. She’s obviously fallen for your line of father-of-the-year wannabe BS. That crap about sending her money all those years ago … You really had her fooled. What did you really come back here for, Cam? Did you think she had money, and that was why we could afford a trip to Australia?”

“That’s enough,” he told her. He’d allowed her just about all the slack he was going to.

“No, it’s not nearly enough. But I’ve had enough of you.” She looked at Sarah. “You don’t have to explain, Mom. It’s all pretty clear now. How long did it take him to get back into your pants? A day and a half? Once an easy girl, always an easy girl.”

As Sarah gasped, Cam saw red. He advanced on Lori, saying, “I said that’s enough. You are not going to speak to your mother that way.”

Lori shot him a killing look. “You don’t get to tell me what I can and cannot do.”

“In this instance, yes, I do.”

“What are you going to do? Hit me with that wrench? You are a Murphy, after all. Go ahead. This time when they send you off to jail it won’t be juvie!”

You little brat
. Cam closed his eyes and silently counted to ten. Once he could speak in a level tone, he said, “You will show your mother more respect.”

Lori’s chin came up. “I will when she deserves it.”

Sarah let out a little mewl. She’d been annoyed up until now and at her wit’s end. Lori’s last verbal arrow had wounded her.

Cam was as angry as he could ever remember being. “Stop! You will apologize to you mother right this instant, young lady.”

“Again, you don’t get to tell me what to do. You are not my father, Cam Murphy. You’re just my mother’s sleaze of a hook-up.”

“Dammit!” Cam roared. He threw the wrench at the open junk drawer and missed, hitting a ceramic canister of flour instead. The jar shattered, and a small cloud of flour billowed up.

For half a minute, the room was silent but for the sound of their breathing. Cam stood, frozen in place. Sarah had her hands over her mouth. Then Lori iced her cake of insults by saying, “Wow, guess you are like your old man, after all.”

Bile rose in Cam’s throat. He felt sick to his stomach. He reached toward the canister, intending to clean it up.

“No. Don’t.” Tears spilled down Sarah’s face as she looked at him and said, “Go. Just go, Cam. Just go away.”

He drew a deep breath, nodded stiffly, then strode toward the door. As he stepped out onto the porch, he heard Ellen Reese speak from her chair in the living room: “That Murphy boy is no good.”

   Devin was a little worried. His dad had never returned to the picnic, and neither had Sarah. At first he hadn’t thought twice about it, but when Cam didn’t show up for the father-son horseshoe tournament, Devin had started to search for him. Then Sheriff Turner had asked for his help and he’d gotten distracted. When darkness fell and neither Dad nor the Reeses showed for the fireworks display, his worry returned. Maybe something had happened to Sarah’s mother.

He decided to check the rental first before showing up at the Reeses’. The house was dark, and he almost drove past it, then decided he should stop and let Mortimer out to do his thing.

When he stepped inside, he noted the open back door right away.
Uh-oh
. Sure enough, Mortimer’s crate was empty. “What is it about that dog? He’s a Houdini hound.”

But when Devin stepped into the backyard, he saw that he was wrong, and he went from worried to downright afraid.

Moonlight cast a faint, silvered glow over Cam, who lay sprawled in a lawn chair, Mortimer lying on the ground beside him. Cam’s left hand idly scratched the dog behind the ears. His right held
—holy hell
—something Devin had never seen in his father’s hand before. Cam held a whiskey bottle by the neck.

“What the hell? Dad?”

“Hey, Dev.” Cam took a long swill from the bottle.

“Dad, what happened? What’s wrong? You’re full as a boot. Why? You never drink!”

“I’m a Murphy, son,” Cam replied, a slight slur to his words. “Of course I drink. It’s in my genes, you know.”

“That’s bull.” Devin’s heart pounded. Something had happened. Something big. He took a seat in the other lawn chair, rested his elbows on his knees, and leaned forward. “What’s wrong?”

“I found my old man’s last stash.” Cam’s leg slipped off the lounge chair and flopped over the side. “Isn’t that something? After all this time, a remodel and everything, nobody ever found the cache in the basement. The old bastard even had a mid-grade grog tucked away. He must have come into some change before he croaked.”

“Dad. You’re scaring me!”

He dropped his head back against the lounge chair, shut his eyes, and said, “Sorry, Dev. It’s been a hell of an afternoon.”

“What happened?”

“Had a bit of an open slather at the Reeses’.”

A free-for-all?
He had a fight at the Reeses’?

“I think maybe it’s time for us to go home, Devin.”

“Home? To Oz?”

“Yeah.”

Because he was, after all, a teenager, Devin’s first thought was
What about baseball?
But after that first bit of selfishness, his attention focused on his dad. “What exactly happened, Dad? I talked to Lori. Everything was fine after the kayak race.”

Cam pried open one eye and looked at Devin. “Ordinarily, I wouldn’t discuss the details with you, but since you have a vested interest in it …”

Without going into much detail, Cam explained that Lori had caught him and Sarah going at it. She’d freaked.

“Well, that’s just cockeyed. It’s none of her business. Of course you and Sarah wanted to be together. It’s obvious that you two are in love.”

“You’re half right.” He paused and took another sip of his whiskey. “I think the best thing I can do for them is to leave, Devin.”

Give up?
His dad never gave up. “Why do you say that?”

“They do just fine without me. They’re happy without me. They formed a family years ago, and they don’t need us. I’m complicating their lives instead of making them better. That’s not what I want for them. I’ve never done anything for Lori. I can do this for her.”

“Leave? Rack off?” Devin couldn’t believe his dad would quit and run away.

“It’s time.”

“That’s bull, Dad. They’re a whole lot better off with you in their lives. I should know. I’m an expert on the subject.”

That coaxed a grin from him. “You’re a good kid, Devin Murphy.”

“And you’re a great dad, and if Lori is too hardheaded to see it, then she’s a mug.” Silently, Devin decided he needed to have a talk with his sorta sister. Set her straight. No way was she getting off the hook. And then, if she still didn’t want their father, then she didn’t deserve him. “I’m happy to do anything you want to do, Dad, but don’t you think you might be pulling the plug on this whole thing a little fast? Maybe if you gave Lori time to get over herself, things would all work out.”

Cam shook his head. “If it were just Lori, I might do that.”

Well, hell
. Sarah must have done a number on him.

“So you don’t mind going back?” Cam asked, staring at Devin with one eye cocked open.

“When are you thinking of leaving?” Bracing himself, he added, “The championship tournament starts Monday.”

“We’re not leaving before the tourney’s done.” Cam struggled to sit up. He set the bottle down, and Devin was glad to see it. “We’re not running out on our team. We’ll go when it’s over, okay?”

“Aye. Sounds like a plan. You want me to put that bottle away for you, Dad?”

At that moment, the first of the fireworks lit up the sky. Cam handed his son the whiskey, lifted Mortimer into his lap, and lay back down on the lounger. He scratched the terrier behind the ears, and as the sky above Eternity Springs lit up in bursts of red, white, and blue, he murmured, “There’s no place for us here. I should have known. There never has been a home for me in Eternity Springs.”

Devin watched his father and ached. The man was true blue. Why didn’t that stupid girl see it?

SEVENTEEN

Sarah watched the door to Fresh the entire morning, but Cam never came by for his daily dozen sugar cookies. As the hands on the clock worked their way toward closing time, Sarah tried to decide what to do. Thinking wasn’t coming too terribly easily to her today.

She’d barely slept at all last night. After Cam left she’d wanted to sit down with Lori and talk it through, just the two of them. It had been a horribly ugly scene, and everyone’s emotions had been a mess. But her mother had been agitated—probably from all the tension in the air—and by the time she’d managed to calm Ellen down, Lori had left the house, using the excuse of a walk with Daisy and Duke to get away from Sarah.

This had been the most upset, angry, and betrayed that Lori had been in her life. Sarah worried about her relationship with her daughter in the aftermath. She’d wanted desperately to talk to her, but Lori had taken the longest dog walk in history, and Sarah fell asleep waiting for her. When she’d awakened during the night, Lori was home with her bedroom door shut and the lights out. Sarah turned in, then tossed and turned the rest of the night until she crawled out of bed for the start of her workday.

Work was a blessing and helped her keep her mind off the turmoil. Lori showed up to help earlier than Sarah had expected. Things were stiff between them, but there wasn’t time for a personal discussion. The shop bustled with customers, and Sarah was thankful for her daughter’s help, recognizing it as the olive branch it was.

Nevertheless, she did have time to think about the situation the entire morning, so when she locked Fresh’s front door and flipped the “Open” sign to “Closed,” she knew exactly what she wanted to say to her daughter.

Lori stopped her cold by speaking first. “Mom, I’m so sorry about yesterday.”

The heaviness around Sarah’s heart suddenly lightened. “It certainly wasn’t how I hoped the day would go.”

Lori wrapped her arms around Sarah and gave her a hug. “I said some horrible things, and I hurt you, and that’s the last thing in the world I ever want to do. I apologize, Mom.”

“Thank you. I accept your apology, and I want to say that I’m sorry that my actions hurt you.”

Lori sighed. “I acted like I was ten instead of in my twenties. I felt like I was ten.”

“It wasn’t the best of circumstances.”

Lori answered with a rueful look, then said, “I regret what I said, Mom, but I haven’t changed my mind. Cam Murphy isn’t the right guy for you.”

“How do you know?” Sarah fired back.

“I don’t trust him.”

“You don’t know him.”

“Do you? Really? He’s been here a month, Mom.”

He’s been in my heart for years
.

“Look, your sex life is none of my business—”

“True.”

“—but I think you are vulnerable where he’s concerned, and he’s taking advantage of that.”

“He’s not like that. He says he loves me, Lori. I believe him.”

Lori didn’t roll her eyes, but she came close before Sarah asked, “Will you see him again before you go?”

A pugnacious chin jutted. “I don’t want to.”

Sarah studied her daughter and felt torn in two. No matter what happened between herself and Cam, there had to be a way for father and daughter to find their way to an understanding. “This whole thing makes my stomach hurt.”

“I’m sorry you’re in the middle.”

Sarah wondered what Lori would say if she told her she reminded her so much of Cam. A chip off the old granite head. “I’m going to go talk to him. Sure you don’t want to come with me? You said some pretty awful things to him.”

“I’m sure. You can tell him I’m sorry for any words that he took as cruel, but the emotions behind them were honest.”

“I wouldn’t say that is much of an apology.”

“I don’t have an apology in me where he is concerned, Mom. I’ll just keep my distance until I leave tomorrow. I’m going to see if Nana would like to go sit by the creek with me for a little while. Remember how she always used to say that she found the sound of running water relaxing? I thought she might like that.”

“That would be great,” Sarah said. “The sunshine will do her good. I told you how she’s been anxious and agitated lately? That’s part of something called sundowning that sometimes affects Alzheimer’s patients. Her doctor suggested we make sure she gets outside for a little while each day that the weather allows.”

Also, if Ellen was with Lori, that would give Sarah the chance to pay a call on Cam Murphy—if she could track him down. Ball practice was scheduled to end at Fresh’s closing time, so she stood a decent chance of finding him at home if she hurried. Once he’d had time to shower and change, no telling where he might get off to.

She detoured into the house, brushed her hair, touched up her makeup, then spoke with her mom as she and Lori left the house for the banks of Angel Creek. Ten minutes later, Sarah knocked on Cam’s front door.

Devin was drying his hair with a towel when he answered the door. Seeing her, his eyes widened, then immediately narrowed to just shy of a glare. No longer the friendly teen she’d known for the past month—this was an angry young man.

Okay, well, at least I know which way the wind blows
.

“Is your dad home, Devin?”

“Yeah.” He flipped the towel over his shoulder.

“I’d like to speak to him. May I come in?”

The teenager shrugged and stepped back, wordlessly inviting her inside. Once he shut the door behind her, he gestured toward the sofa and asked stiffly, “You want to sit down? Dad’s on the phone. He’ll be out when he’s done.”

“Thank you.”

Devin disappeared into the kitchen, then appeared a moment later with a leash and Mortimer. The dog, at least, seemed happy to see Sarah. “Tell Dad I took the mutt for a walk, would you?”

He was gone almost before she got the word
sure
out of her mouth. She’d never before realized what a handy excuse dogs made for practicing avoidance.

With Devin gone, she was able to hear the murmur of Cam’s voice coming from his bedroom. Devin hadn’t told Cam she was waiting, but no way in heaven would she walk into his bedroom and let him know. Not his bedroom. Not today. Not after yesterday.

He walked out of his bedroom wearing only gym shorts that hung low on his hips. His head was turned away from her, his cellphone up to his ear. He didn’t see her.

“I’m not familiar with that airport,” he said as he opened a drawer in the kitchen and rummaged for a pen. “I understand the connecting flight departs from a different terminal. Forty minutes seems like a close call … Yes … Yes. Good … I think that’s better … Yes. Two seats.”

Sarah went still.

He made notes on a pad that lay atop the kitchen counter. “Okay. Great. You said Flight 642? And it arrives in Sydney at what time? … Got it.”

Sydney. As in Australia
. Her heart began to pound.

“Same credit card information. Excellent. I appreciate your help, Andrea. Last-minute arrangements like this are always a challenge, and you did great. Thanks. Goodbye.”

He disconnected the call, set the phone down on the counter, turned around, and saw her. He stopped dead in his tracks. “Sarah.”

“Australia?”

“I didn’t know you were here.”

“You’re leaving.” She said it flatly.

He hesitated. His eyes met hers briefly before sliding away. “What reason do I have to stay?”

She heard the question through a fog in her brain. One crystal-clear realization consumed her. He was doing it again. He was leaving her again.
He loves me one day, then leaves me the next?

Welcome to yesterday, sugar cookie
.

Hurt rolled over her like a tidal wave.
He’s quitting. On Lori. On me. Without even fighting for us
.

She widened her eyes and willed away tears. She refused to let him see her cry. “When are you going?”

He watched her with flat, emotionless eyes. “Wednesday. After the tournament in Durango.”

“Oh, yes. The Grizzlies. It’s the championship.”

“Yeah.”

Of course he’d stay long enough for that. Can’t quit on baseball. He’d stay for Devin but not for them. Never for them. Lori might not even rate a goodbye from him.

Now anger rode in on the wave of pain. Cam Murphy was a quitter. He’d quit on her years ago, and he was quitting on her today.
Life is an obstacle course, and he gives up at the first wall
.

Well, she didn’t work that way. She never gave up. She didn’t have the luxury of doing so. She had a daughter to nurture and support and a mother who depended on her and a business to run. She’d had to fight to keep her head above water all these years, and be damned if she’d let herself drown now.

Cam Murphy didn’t know the first thing about love. Be damned if she wouldn’t call him on it.

Her chin came up, and she managed to keep most of the bitterness out of her tone as she said, “Seems like a quick decision for a man in love to make.”

His jaw hardened. “I don’t dawdle over important things. I know how I feel, and I act on it.”

Her temper blazed. “That’s not fair. What happened to taking things one day at a time and not worrying about the future? You’re leaving because I didn’t say ‘I love you’ back to you yesterday? Because Lori said things that you didn’t like? It’s love on demand? On your timetable? That’s the way it’s always been with you, hasn’t it? Life on your timetable.”

“This isn’t just about Lori. I laid my heart bare to you!”

“I can’t trust you!” Sarah fisted her hands at her sides. “You weren’t there for me when I needed you most, Cam. You weren’t there when I was sixteen and the doctor told me I was pregnant. You weren’t there when I labored to bring our child into the world. You weren’t there when I cheered to get two hours of sleep in a row or when I struggled to buy diapers and pay for braces. You’ve never been there for me.”

“Oh, yeah?” Bitterly, he added, “Actually, I was there for you one time. I was there the night Andrew Cook flashed a picture of you and Nic naked that he’d taken in the locker room at school. Look where that got me.”

Sarah gasped. “That’s why … The fight?”

He shrugged.

“You never told me. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What good would it have done? I know you. You’d have felt guilty, and it wouldn’t have changed anything.”

The reminder made her bitter. “Right. You were going to sail away anyway, free as the wind, to all those places we dreamed about as kids.”

“I didn’t sail away free. I fled this godless town.”

“You left me behind to run the obstacle course alone! Now Lori is grown and my finish line is in sight and you sail back in on the wind and expect me to forget the walls I’ve spent twenty years climbing because you are great in the sack?”

He lifted his chin, just like Lori did, and seeing it only made Sarah’s hurt worse. “I don’t expect anything,” he told her, his voice rich with fury. “I hoped you would forget and forgive because you loved me, too. Dammit, Sarah! I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m sorry you ran the course alone. I did what I thought was best for you and Lori.” He pointed toward an old scar on his chest and added, “I was Brian Murphy’s son!”

“And God knows I feel for the little boy who didn’t do a thing to earn those scars. But I’ve got my own set of scars, Cam. Your initials are on a couple of them.”

He shut his eyes at that. Sarah continued, “I can forgive. I can possibly even forget. But trust? You didn’t trust yourself, Cam. How can you expect me to trust you?”

“Because I know myself now. I’m not full of ‘bad blood.’ I’m not an abuser, and I’m not a liar. I am worthy of trust. I would never hurt you or Lori.”

“You are hurting us now!”

It took the wind out of those sails of his. Quietly, he said, “There’s hurting, and then there’s hurting. I don’t want to do either one, Sarah. And that’s why I’m leaving.”

Sarah couldn’t stop the tears now. Feeling raw and wounded, she closed her eyes.

His footsteps approached, and she held her breath, wanting desperately for him to take her into his arms and tell her he’d wait, tell her he’d give her time. Instead, he passed her. She heard the door open. “Goodbye, Sarah.”

She wanted to drop to her knees and bawl. Something was dying here, and she wanted … She needed … to mourn. Sarah didn’t do that. She did what she always did. She drew in a breath, squared her shoulders, and continued to fight her way along life’s obstacle course.

She turned, walked to the door, then paused and went up on her toes. His jaw was set, as unmovable as Murphy Mountain, as she kissed his cheek. “I’m sorry we didn’t have more time. Goodbye, Cam.”

She walked away, listening hard, hoping he’d call her back. Hoping … just like she’d hoped when she was sixteen and pregnant and walking away from juvie jail.

“Sarah?”

Her heart in her throat, she turned. He stood in the threshold of his childhood home, his hand clenched around the door handle in a white-knuckled grip. “Love without trust never works in the end. It hurts me, too.”

He took a step back and closed the door.

   As Lori helped her grandmother into the passenger seat of her new car, she heard someone call her name. She glanced around to see the new owner of the Trading Post, Logan McClure, crossing the street, headed her way, carrying a brown accordion file. “I found something of your mother’s. Could you give it to her for me?”