Love's Stormy Gale (Heartsong Presents) (6 page)

“Okay, Barrotta. She’s a grown woman. She could have pushed you away.” Jonathan pulled into the parking space at his apartment. Yet Olivia hadn’t pushed him away. Her expressive eyes had practically begged him to kiss her. It was probably just as well her father had opened the front door when he did.

That night, he bowed in prayer in his bedroom. “Help me, Lord. You know how much I’ve cared for her all these years. Please don’t let me take advantage of her needing comfort. You do the comforting and healing, and I’ll be there for her when You’re through. I promise You that. If You’re giving me a chance to love her at last.”

Chapter 7

O
livia hummed while she whisked the waffle batter in a bowl and smelled the coffee streaming into the coffeepot. She heard her father descend the creaking stairs, his slippers swishing on the wood. The swish paused, then came the whir of the computer. Olivia smiled. Her father was checking his email, a new tradition blending with the old.

To think a computer would come before her father’s trip to the porch step for the morning paper. But then laughter came more easily than it had for a long time.

Two weeks and three days had passed since Jonathan nearly kissed her on the porch swing. Maybe he would sometime. Her stomach trembled at the thought.

Since that night, her heart had poured out the accumulated sludge of old feelings and hurts. On a sunny Sunday morning like this, the past seemed like an old nightmare chased forever back into the shadows. Now that she and Jonathan had reestablished their friendship, she realized she’d welcome more.

“Yes, Lord,” she murmured. “I want Your best for Jonathan, and for me. If You want us to be together, I’ll accept that. Please, show us Your will.” Jonathan’s dark curly hair, deep brown eyes, his stubbled jaw when he forgot to shave all sprang to mind. Olivia sighed and rested her elbows on the counter, feeling like a schoolgirl again.

The scent of burning waffles filled the air. Olivia jerked the cover from the waffle iron. Steam swirled up, revealing dark brown squares.

Her father scuffed into the kitchen. “You planning on feeding me that?” He sniffed the air, reading glasses perched on the end of his nose.

“You can put lots of syrup on it. Wait, too much isn’t very good for you. Or margarine for that matter.” Olivia waved the spatula she used to pry the burned mass from the waffle iron. She tossed the waffles in the trash and put fresh batter in the waffle iron.

Her father helped himself to the coffee, then coughed before he took a sip.

“Dad, are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Just a summer cold.”

“Ever since I’ve been home? That’s a long cold.” She wouldn’t bring up the pipe tobacco.

“Like I said, I’m fine.” He spread the newspaper out on the table. With a grunt, Olivia’s father turned to the Sports section of the Boston paper.

“Will you come to church this morning? Pastor’s been asking about you.” Olivia braced herself for the reply.

“Tell him I’m doing great.” He set his coffee mug on the table with a thunk. “Business is so good, I need to rest and catch up on work around the house.”

“All right.” The light blinked on the waffle iron. Olivia placed the steaming waffles on two plates, then brought them to the table.

When she was a child, her father would drop her off at church and pick her up afterward. Either that or he’d let her go with Mrs. Flaherty next door. Why wouldn’t he come with her? Why the need to stay away?

“I love God in my own way. I don’t need to show up to please people....” His voice trailed off.

Olivia wouldn’t argue with him there she thought as she ate her breakfast. After Robby died, she had longed for the sanctuary of God’s house, but she couldn’t deal with curious glances and vague whispers and too-bright smiles. So she’d stopped attending altogether until she moved to Pennsylvania.

Except Jonathan would nod at her, giving her a slight smile that didn’t mask the sorrow in his eyes. He had been through the valley of the shadow of death and come through alive. He understood. What must that be like for him?

She brushed aside the somber thoughts and silently toasted the bright morning with her cup of coffee.

“I don’t know if some of the gang will go out to lunch or not, but I’ll call you if we do so you won’t wait for me.”

Olivia’s father grunted again in response and patted her shoulder as she left the table.

* * *

Maggie settled onto the chair next to her in Sunday school.

“Hey, guess what?” Maggie beamed. But then she always beamed lately.

“What?”

“Todd’s mom gave me a gift certificate to the Children’s Orchard! She knew I’d be wanting to get a head start on shopping for the baby.”

Olivia managed a grin for her friend. “Let me guess. You couldn’t wait for a baby shower. That gift certificate’s probably burning a hole in your purse.”

“Shopping trip? In Newburyport?”

“Sounds great!” She needed a diversion from Jonathan, from her paperwork-gathering for graduate school. A shopping trip would do the trick.

Jeremy, their teacher, called the class to order and opened in prayer. “Now, let’s look at the first lesson in the quarterly journal. I know you haven’t had a chance to study it, but I figured we could start today as an introduction.”

Olivia read the title of the lesson. “Calming the Storm.” Was this a conspiracy? She’d been sailing through a hurricane, thunderstorm and tornado all at once it seemed.

A sideways glance at Jonathan showed brown eyes probing her for a reaction. Olivia set her jaw. She wouldn’t let him, wouldn’t let anyone see her reaction to the upcoming lecture.

Olivia had heard the story from childhood, of Jesus sleeping inside the boat during the storm, while the disciples panicked. She remembered giggling with the rest of the class. Silly disciples. Scared to pieces while the Son of God accompanied them across the lake in a storm.

Then she had grown up. Adult fear had replaced her child’s faith.

Jeremy continued. “Note that in Mark 4:35, Jesus tells the disciples they are going to the other side. I’m sure He knew a storm was coming, that their very lives would be in danger. The lesson asks an interesting question on page three: Why do you think the disciples allowed fear to overcome them? Anyone care to answer?”

“They were human,” someone called out.

“Good,” said Jeremy.

Olivia could understand the disciples’ feelings. Wasn’t fear a human reaction to a threatening event?

Then Jonathan spoke up. “They let their circumstances and present surroundings affect them more than the words of Jesus.”

Ouch. For some reason Olivia’s chair felt more uncomfortable than usual this morning. She took a sip of coffee and doodled a design in the margin of her lesson book.

“That’s true, Jonathan. When we find ourselves in threatening or uncertain conditions, it’s easy to forget the words that the Lord has for us. Right here.” Jeremy held up his leather-bound Bible.

Olivia kept doodling, concentrating on her design. She’d read the Bible before, and even knew some verses from memory. Had her mind merely memorized the words? Had the knowledge penetrated to her heart?

The whisper of turning pages grabbed her attention. “Oh, where are we turning to now?” She glanced at Jonathan’s Bible, where he’d flipped to Romans 8.

“Beth, could you read verses thirty-five, then thirty-seven through thirty-nine, please?” Jeremy asked.

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

“Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

“For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Olivia kept focusing on the lesson’s theme. If the Bible said nothing on this earth could keep Olivia from God’s love, why did she feel so unconvinced? Had her fear and possessiveness caused hurt to those around her? If she had been less possessive and fearful about Robby, would he still be here today? No, that wouldn’t have changed the outcome.

Olivia felt a weight pressing down on the back of her chair. Jonathan’s arm brushed her shoulders. Normally the sensation would have comforted her.

She didn’t deserve Jonathan’s comfort. Not when the very words that should have helped her made her feel worse than before.

Chapter 8

O
livia touched a soft cotton blanket woven in pastel colors. She’d driven with Maggie riding shotgun, and now they were in a baby furniture store just over the New Hampshire line.

“No sales tax,” Maggie had said with a mischievous grin.

One day, Olivia wanted to go through the whole process. What would it be like to finally be married and start a family? She’d made some relationship mistakes in the past. She’d let Robby be the main focus of her life. Even above the Lord. Olivia swallowed hard at the realization that Robby had been right. It wasn’t just being a wedding-crazy woman or her natural grief over losing him. She’d made him her rock when he was only a man.

“I said, what do you think of this? Do you think it’ll be too dark for the nursery?” Maggie lovingly stroked an elegant sleigh-bed crib of cherrywood.

“I’m sorry, I was thinking.”

“Yeah, I could tell. So what else do you think? If you had to buy a crib for the nursery, which one would you choose?”

That was easy. A rich maple crib, with wood tones warm enough to complement any style of crib bedding. Couldn’t she imagine standing at its edge, looking down at a sleeping infant with dark licorice hair curling over his head, just like his father’s?

“This one here.” Olivia’s cheeks flamed at her musings.

Maggie joined her at the piece of furniture. “Yeah, this is beautiful. You’re right. I like this even better than the other piece.” She flipped over the price tag. “Ouch, that hurts. But I have an idea.”

Olivia nodded absently. How could she be thinking of Jonathan now? And what would he think if he knew her thoughts? No more jumping headlong into another relationship. This time she’d go in with eyes open, slow and wary.

Maggie held up her phone and snapped a picture of the crib. “I’m going to see if Todd thinks we can afford having Jonathan make it. He’s a genius with wood. But I guess you know that.”

“That’s right. I was hoping to have him make Dad a new computer desk for his birthday or even Christmas.”

They wandered toward the women’s clothing department. Maggie continued her probing.

“So, I’m sure you know Jonathan’s not planning to stay in woodworking permanently.” Maggie held up a pair of baby shoes.

“Oh, those are cute! Too bad these aren’t in grown-up sizes.” Olivia reached for the shoes.

“You’re avoiding my question.”

“Yes.” Olivia ran her fingers over the supple leather. “I do know Jonathan’s plans, and I’m scared for him. I think if he keeps at his woodworking, he could open his own shop.”

“What if that’s not what he really wants? Or what if it’s not what God has for him?”

Olivia sighed. “I suppose it’s pointless to tell you how I feel.”

Maggie frowned and reached for another pair of shoes. “Yeah, I’ve been there. Many of the women in town have been there. Lots of us have been fortunate. Some haven’t. It’s a tough life, but I do know I would never deny Todd his dream.”

Olivia nodded. Which was why if Jonathan wanted to go out on a fishing boat again, she wouldn’t stop him. Olivia would guard her heart. She would do things right this time.

They stopped for lunch at a courtyard café. Olivia lingered over her strawberry pie. Maggie would get a break from walking, whether she wanted one or not. The town’s summer hubbub of tourists and shoppers flowed past them.

“Oof. Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten that dessert.” Maggie frowned as she rubbed her stomach.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” She took a sip of water. “Ow.”

As they waited for their bill, Olivia hoped the pains would subside, but instead they grew stronger the longer they sat. Olivia wasn’t sure what to expect, but Maggie didn’t seem fine to her.

“I should call Todd.” Olivia’s heart started to beat faster.

“No! He didn’t want me to go shopping today, not really.”

Olivia turned on her cell phone. “I’m calling Todd anyway.”

Maggie took a deep, slow breath. “Ow, these must be Braxton-Hicks contractions. But I think it’s too early.”

The answering machine came on at Todd’s fishing charter office. Olivia gave her cell phone number, and asked him to call as soon as possible. She glanced at Maggie, whose white knuckles clenched a paper napkin. “Who else can I call?”

“Call my OB. The number’s in my wallet.”

Olivia found a business card for the obstetrics office and dialed. “Yes, I understand.” Olivia hung up the phone. “We need to drive you to the hospital. Your doctor is contacting Labor and Delivery there. They’ll be waiting for us.”

Maggie clenched her stomach and bit her lip. Olivia laid some cash on the table with their bill. Her heart thudded and the world moved in slow motion. Be strong for Maggie. Maggie needed her.
Lord, help her. Help me.

* * *

They arrived at the hospital, where an orderly met them and wheeled Maggie to the Labor and Delivery floor.
Don’t let us be too late. Protect Maggie’s little one.

“Please, let my friend come with me. We haven’t reached my husband yet.” Maggie pleaded with the nurses.

Maggie had Olivia’s hand in a vise grip as they wheeled her into an examining room. A woman in a white coat held some papers and attached them to a clipboard. Olivia managed to get away from Maggie and used a hall phone to try Todd. Still no answer.

She bit her lip, then dialed Jonathan’s number.

“You’re home!” Olivia nearly shrieked with relief when he answered.

“What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

“I need you to find Todd ASAP. I just brought Maggie to the hospital. She’s having bad pains. I hope it’s not early labor.”

“I’ll find him. We’ll be there.”

“I can’t keep my cell phone on here in the hospital, but here’s my number anyway. I’ve got voice mail.”

“I’ll call the emergency prayer group from church.”

“Thanks.”

Just hearing Jonathan’s firm voice had calmed her somewhat. When she reentered the room, an attendant was performing a sonogram. Maggie’s white face and round-eyed expression beckoned to her. A monitor displayed the baby’s heartbeat along with Maggie’s vitals.

Olivia took Maggie’s hand. “It’s going to be okay. Jonathan’s going to find Todd and come with him.”

“My baby. God, please, let me keep my baby.” Tears pooled in Maggie’s eyes.

“Excuse me.” A nurse came to Maggie’s side. “I need to get your blood pressure.”

Olivia stepped back, winding her purse strap around a finger. She shouldn’t have encouraged Maggie to make this trip. She hadn’t been this afraid since—

She started to pray more fervently.
Lord, help them hurry.

* * *

Jonathan accompanied Todd to the hospital. He’d heard the fear in Olivia’s voice, and he wanted to be there for her as much as for Todd and Maggie. Olivia met them in the waiting room, her sweet chocolate eyes filled with worry and relief.

“The doctor’s examining her now,” Olivia told Todd, then surprised Jonathan with a quick embrace. She left an arm around his waist. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Thanks, Liv. If you hadn’t been here—” Todd squeezed her elbow.

“Thank God I was. And I’m glad Jonathan found you.”

“I’m going to see my wife now. I’d appreciate your prayers.”

Jonathan nodded. He liked the way Olivia leaned on him. He slid his arm around her shoulders. “Do you want to wait for a while? Would you like that?”

“Yes, I want to know they’ll both be okay.”

The door opened and the ultrasound attendant wheeled the cart down the hall. Jonathan released Olivia as she moved to sit on a cushioned chair.

The hospital traffic swirled around them, women in various stages of pregnancy coming and going. Some with a spouse, others alone or with a friend. A young couple walked the hallway, the husband murmuring encouragement to his wife.

Jonathan hoped one day that would be him. He wanted as many kids as the Lord would bless him and his future wife with. How many children did Olivia want? She was an only child. He had grown up in an active noisy family of three boys. But what was he thinking? Olivia had kept a cautious distance from him lately, although her hug had encouraged him.

At last Todd emerged from an exam room. “Hey, you two. Thanks for waiting. The doctor wants to keep Maggie for a while longer, probably overnight. She’s not bleeding, but because of her history they want to watch her and the baby carefully.”

“That sounds better, man.” Jonathan stood and clapped Todd on the back. “You’re staying with her, right?”

“Yeah. Chuck’s got the charter scheduled tomorrow anyway.”

“I’ll call the shop and let them know you won’t be back.” He followed Todd to the exam room doorway. Olivia passed them both and entered the room ahead of them.

Jonathan peeked inside. Maggie was whispering to Olivia. With a swirl of brown hair, Olivia bent to hug her friend.

She faced Jonathan. “Are you ready to leave?”

He nodded.

The late-summer evening air caused little goose bumps to form on Olivia’s arms. Tomorrow’s duties clamored for attention, but Jonathan kept focused on the silent woman beside him.

“You hangin’ in there?” He put a protective arm around her as they walked to her car.

“Yes. I wish I hadn’t encouraged her to go on this shopping trip.”

“C’mon now. You know it’s not your fault. Keeping Maggie from a good sale is like trying to keep the tide from coming in. It’s not gonna happen.”

For the first time since he’d seen her at the hospital, a smile flickered across Olivia’s face. “That’s true.” She laughed. “We did find some good sales. Most of the stuff in the trunk is Maggie’s.”

Really. He didn’t know how the two women did it. Sort of like sharks smelling blood, the way those two honed in on sales.

Then Olivia’s smile faded. “Todd mentioned something about Maggie’s history. What did he mean by that?”

Jonathan swallowed hard. “I assumed you knew. Maggie had a miscarriage before this pregnancy.”

* * *

“Miscarriage?” Olivia felt her stomach drop to her feet. “I—I had no idea.” Why hadn’t Maggie told her?

Jonathan sighed. “About eight months ago.”

And all that time Olivia had been in Pennsylvania, nursing her selfish hurts; she’d turned tail and ran. Fresh shame surged through her heart.

“Oh, that’s horrible. I can’t imagine what they must be going through. No wonder she was so frightened. I mean—to lose a child—” Olivia’s throat ached.

“We just need to keep praying and entrust them to the Lord. It’s all we can do.”

Jonathan sounded so sure of himself. Entrust her friends and their unborn child to the Lord’s care. “Sometimes that’s easier said than done.” She swallowed the lump and felt tears stinging her eyes.

“But it can be done.” Jonathan’s firm voice sounded low to her ears. “He wouldn’t have asked us to cast our cares upon Him if it were impossible.”

They headed into the north end of Fairport and Olivia decided to broach a safe subject. “I’d like to see if you could build a computer desk for Dad’s birthday.”

“Sure, I’ll do it, time permitting.” Jonathan faced the window. Olivia couldn’t see the expression in his dark eyes.

“I could find a pattern. Or we could go to one of those home improvement warehouses and you could help me pick out wood. I wouldn’t know what to choose.” Olivia knew she had started babbling. A car almost cut them off in the traffic, so she eased off the accelerator and fastened her gaze straight ahead.

“That sounds great to me. I’ve decided to cut back on my carpentry projects for now, but for you, I’ll do the desk.”

Olivia smiled. “Thanks.” He was going back on the boats. Probably with Pete Celucci. Of course he was. She should be happy for him. And part of her was.

Olivia crossed the short bridge over the inlet into Fairport and maneuvered through the narrow streets. Home. The lights in the harbor twinkled. A lighthouse at the edge of the harbor winked at them. The serene coastline helped to calm Olivia’s tumbled thoughts.

Jonathan punctuated the silence. “Thanks for the ride.”

“No problem. Thanks for going to the hospital.” She turned onto Todd and Maggie’s street, following the winding road that paralleled the shore. “Is Todd going to call you?”

“Yeah. He said he’d call me in the morning. I’m holding the fort for him at the shop until he and Maggie get back.”

Gravel crunched under the car’s tires. Olivia pulled into the driveway and stopped behind Jonathan’s Jeep, then shifted into Park. Silence loomed between them in the front seat.

“You’re a good friend to drop what you’re doing for them. I’m—I’m glad you came with Todd.” Olivia bit her lip at the admission.

“I would have done the same for you. Drop what I’m doing, if you needed me.”

They’d been through so much together, Olivia didn’t doubt it. “I know. I’m sorry my mouth ran away with me tonight. I know what you’re saying is the truth, about trusting God to care for my friends.”

“I tell you the truth because I care for you.”

Olivia glanced in Jonathan’s direction at the sound of his voice. Did his voice suddenly catch? Did his eyes suddenly seem shinier in the streetlight? Then his gaze flicked toward his Jeep.

“I know.” Now her voice caught in her throat.

“Just remember, ‘God is our refuge and strength, a present help in time of trouble.’”

“‘Though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea, though the oceans roar and foam, we will not fear.’ Yes, I’ve read that psalm.” Olivia rubbed her forehead, which had started to ache.

“I want you to have some peace in your heart, Liv.”

“I know.” Her throat ached, the words barely escaping her lips.

“Well, it’s getting late. Are you going to be okay?”

Now it was Olivia’s turn to look away. “For tonight I will be.”

“I’ll call you if I hear anything.”

“Thanks.”

He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “G’night, Liv.”

Her face burned where his lips had touched her. “Good night.”