Love's unending legacy (Love Comes Softly #5) (5 page)

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FIVE
Confessions

The storm moved in from the west with low-hanging clouds and a strong wind. Marty worried that the wind might drive the clouds right on by before the land had a chance to rejuvenate with the much-needed water. Her fears lessened as she stood at the window and watched the wind abate and the clouds hang low and heavy over the countryside. And then for three days, a continual steady rain emptied itself on the thirsty soil. When the sun returned, the growing things lifted high their drooping heads, all strength renewed. Marty felt like shouting praises. In fact, the whole family gathered together for a special thanksgiving prayer.

Kate was experiencing morning sickness. Marty felt sorry for her, but the girl only smiled. "It won't be for long," she insisted, "an' it will be worth it." Clare fussed over her and insisted that she take it easy and care for his "boy."

Already the two of them were busy with preparations for the coming baby--even though that "comin'" was more than seven months into the future. Marty, sharing their joy and enthusiasm, would welcome the wee baby, too. She suggested several home remedies to Kate that might help her over those often difficult early months of a pregnancy.

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Marty continued to feel dragged out--not herself at all. She tried not to let it show, but the harder she tried to keep up with Ellie, the more it was obvious she couldn't. Clark suggested a trip in to see Dr. Watkins, but Marty shook her head. She had a suspicion that her age was showing and it bothered her some. She was an awfully young woman to be going through
that,
she kept telling herself. She did not express her concerns, but she felt her family's eyes upon her, watching with loving care.

"I'll be fine--just fine," she kept assuring them all, and she tried to be--tried with all her might to walk a little brisker, lift her feet a little higher, hold her head a little straighter. But most of the time it just didn't work. She felt tired before the day had hardly begun.

One morning she felt sick to her stomach. She passed it off as a touch of the flu. Then after an hour or two, she felt fine. But the next morning it recurred. She shrugged it off that time, too, but when it happened again on the third morning, even she was a bit worried, though she would not admit it.

"I'm as bad as Kate," she remarked to Ellie with an attempt at a light laugh.

"Well, I don't like it," Ellie said seriously. "Kate has a very good reason."

A wild thought suddenly went racing through Marty's mind, though she did not voice it to Ellie.
Ya don't s'pose. ...? No, thet's impossible. Thet's unthinkable.
But it nagged away at her all day.

Each time it unwillingly returned, Marty tried to drive it away.
I'm past my forty-third birthday,
she kept telling herself. But inwardly she knew that really did not preclude this extraordinary possibility.

It's so silly ... so foolish,
she reminded herself.
Here I am--a grandmother many times over. I would be so embarrassed. ...
And Marty's cheeks burned at the very thought of what might be.

The feeling of sickness continued to occur. Marty tried to hide the fact from her family. She made even more of an effort to look perky and carry her end of the household tasks. But even as she

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fought against it, she knew she was really being foolish.

It must be so,
she finally admitted to herself and went to her room to have a rest and a good cry.

Whatever will Clark think? Here I am, a woman my age ... and this!

Her thoughts moved on to the rest of her family.
What will Ellie think? And Missie? And Kate? Here Kate is expecting a baby of her own, and her mother-in-law, who should be long past such things, is joining her--stealing her thunder!

And Arnie? Here he is planning his wedding, and his own mother will show up at it quite obviously with child. It'll embarrass him nigh to death!

Marty refused to share her worries with any of her family. It was the first time in her years of marriage to Clark that she kept something from him.
Maybe I'm mistaken,
she kept saying to herself.
Maybe I'm all wrong. Or, if I'm right, maybe I'll lose it. Women my age often do.

But deep within, Marty knew she was probably correct and that the day would soon come when she would have to tell Clark. She dreaded it. Dreaded his reaction. Would he laugh? Or would he actually pity her? Marty could not stand that thought.
If he should look at me with eyes that say, "You poor thing," I'll be so mad. ... But he just might,
Marty decided.
He just might. Especially the way I've been feeling.

Marty decided she couldn't tell Clark--not yet. She'd wait awhile until she was absolutely sure.

Kate was now feeling a little better daily. Every time Marty saw Kate or Clare, it seemed they were talking about the coming baby. Never had Marty seen a couple anticipate a new arrival with such longing and joy. She envied them in a way.
It must be nice to be looking forward so--

But Marty stopped herself. Hadn't she also looked forward to the arrival of each of her babies?
Each of them, but ...
She didn't

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allow herself to finish it. She felt guilty about the way she was feeling toward this child. After all, this baby had not asked to be brought into the world.

She wondered what Kate and Clare would think if she suddenly were to announce,
Isn't it wonderful? I'm expecting a baby, too, and I think both babies will likely arrive about the same time.

My, would eyes ever pop then!

But there was no way Marty would announce it like that.

Josh and Nandry were joining the family for Sunday dinners again. Marty was so glad to have them back, but she was concerned about Nandry. Something was troubling her. Quiet and withdrawn, she never looked directly at Clark unless he was seated at the table, and then her eyes seemed to slide over him. Was Nandry feeling all right? Was Marty imagining things? Was Clark's new appearance really troubling her in some way? Marty tried not to borrow trouble. At least Nandry and the family were with them, and for that she was thankful! Perhaps with a little time things would be as before.

"I've made an appointment with Dr. Watkins."

Clark made the statement matter-of-factly one night as he and Marty prepared for bed. Marty's head whipped around, concern filling her mind.

"Have ya been feelin' okay? Is yer leg--?"

But Clark interrupted. "Ain't fer me. It's fer you."

"Fer me?" asked Marty. "Whatever fer?"

"I've been worryin 'bout ya, thet's what fer. Thought it might just take a while fer ya to get back on yer feet like, but ya haven't, Marty. Ya still have to push yerself an'--"

Anger colored her voice and face as she cut in. "Wish ya wouldn't have done thet. Nothin' wrong with me, an' there's no

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use troublin' Doc over somethin' thet---I'm fine, an' ya really had no call makin' an appointment without even talkin'--"

Clark reached for her and pulled her to him. Marty seldom responded in such an angry way, and when she did now, she knew he felt even more convinced that something was wrong.

He tried to hold her close, but she stubbornly stiffened her body. He did not speak, only stroked her hair.

She could not resist him for long. She began to relax against him. He went on holding her, gently kissing the top of her head. Suddenly, to his surprise, she crumpled up against him and began to cry.

Clark's grip on her tightened, and Marty knew he now was genuinely worried that something was seriously wrong.

"Please, God, please," she heard him whisper.

Marty did not weep for long. As soon as she had quieted, Clark spoke softly into her hair. "Somethin' is wrong, isn't it?"

Marty nodded her head against him, indicating that, yes, she thought there was.

"Have ya already been to the doc?"

Marty shook her head no.

"Then yer guessin'."

"I ... I ... don't think so," she sniffed.

There were a few minutes of silence.

"An' what are ya expectin' ...?" Clark didn't finish.

Marty waited for only a moment before she spoke through renewed sobs. "A... a... baby."

Clark pushed her back to arm's length, perplexity showing in his face. "A what?"

"A baby!" she cried, her face crumpled with weeping. "A
baby?"

She nodded, wishing she could bury her head against his shoulder again so she wouldn't need to look into his eyes.

"A baby?" Clark repeated with only a shade less shock in his voice.

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Marty just let the tears run down her cheeks. She closed her eyes. She wished to see neither reproach nor pity in his eyes. She stood silent and mute.

"Oh, Marty." Clark said, giving her a little shake.

Marty opened her eyes and looked directly and deeply into the eyes of her husband. There was no worry there. There was no pity. But there was love. Lots of love. Marty answered his look, and then she flung her arms tightly about his neck and wept again, tears of relief.

Clark held her for a long time, then pushed her gently from him. There was the trace of a smile on his lips.

"Thet's a bit of a wonder, ain't it?"

"A wonder?" repeated Marty, puzzled.

"Yeah, a wonder. Here I was a worryin'. Arnie's gittin' married soon an' movin'. Luke is goin' off to become a doctor, an' we both know there's no way we can hang on to Ellie fer long. An' here now, as I was hatin' to lose the last one, God is sendin' us another!"

Marty hadn't been giving God much credit for the whole event. She wasn't sure she liked the idea, even yet. She was a little old to be a mother again, and what in the world would her family and all of the neighbors think?

"I'd still like ya to keep the appointment," Clark was saying. "We wanta be sure thet everythin' is all right."

"Iffen ya want me to," Marty agreed, but she dreaded to face even the kindly doctor. She wished there was some way to keep her news to herself indefinitely.

"All of the family will be relieved," Clark went on. "We've all been worried thet somethin' might be wrong. It'll be a real relief--"

"A real embarrassment, ya mean," Marty interjected.

"What d'ya mean--an embarrassment? Yer simply being' a

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woman the way the good Lord made ya. Nothin' wrong or embarrassin 'bout thet."

Marty argued no further. She knew it would do no good. She also knew she was extremely tired. It was not difficult for her to agree to go to bed at Clark's gentle prompting.

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SIX
Announcement

Clark pulled the team up before the house and helped Marty into the wagon. He drove to town more slowly than usual. Marty knew it was out of concern for her--and their unborn baby. She could feel her cheeks warm slightly as she wondered what Clark would think if he knew of the many times she had secretly hoped she would lose the child. Clark certainly wouldn't be having any such thoughts, she was sure.

It was a beautiful summer day. A rain shower had freshened their whole world just before dawn, and everything smelled green and growing. Marty pushed back her bonnet so she might get a better look at the familiar countryside. It had been a while since she had made this trip to town.

They passed the Grahams', and Marty waved to Ma, who was out in the garden, hoe in hand. Marty thought again of how very little of the hoeing in this year's garden she had done. Poor Ellie! She certainly had been carrying the load.

When they arrived at the doctor's, Clark helped Marty down over the wheel and gently steadied her on her feet. "I'll be in as soon as I tie the team," he promised.

Marty nodded and moved on to enter the small office. Three others were waiting, and Marty was glad to postpone her visit with the doctor for even a little while.

Clark soon joined her. The time went by too quickly, and before she was emotionally ready, it was her turn to step into the

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inner office. The doc began with a few preliminary questions. Marty prepared herself for the shocked look on his face when she told him what she had concluded, but it did not come. He seemed to feel it was quite the most ordinary thing in the world for a woman of forty-three, with a number of grandchildren, to be sitting in his office chair quietly informing him that she believed another child was on the way.

After the examination, Doc calmly assured Marty that she was right and that everything seemed fine. He made a few suggestions about what she might do to assure proper progress for the baby and renewed energy for herself. Marty solemnly promised to eat right and get plenty of rest.

Doc Watkins then called Clark into the room and offered his congratulations to the father-to-be. Both of the men seemed rather pleased with the fact of the coming baby, and for a moment Marty felt a trace of exasperation with them. She pushed it aside. They were right and she was wrong. There should be joy over the coming of a new life into the world. She must get her thinking into proper perspective.

When the Davises left the office, they did their needed shopping--not really all that much. In fact, it was Ellie who had prepared the list for Clark.

As they left the general store, Clark wouldn't allow Marty to carry even a small bundle. Instead, he insisted on making two trips himself, his crutch beating a rhythm on the wooden sidewalk. Marty waited rather impatiently in the shade until the groceries were carefully stored away.

"Why don't we git ya some tea?" Clark offered, and Marty agreed that it would pick her up a bit.

They headed slowly for the hotel dining room.

"Been wonderin'," Clark said as they walked, "iffen you'd like to git some things fer the new young'un while we're here. Seems to me there couldn't be much left from our previous babies."

Marty looked up at him in shock. She hadn't even thought