Loving Drake (3 page)

I pondered it for a few seconds before deciding what to do. “You’re right,” I sighed, untying my apron. “I’m going.” I paused, looking over to her. “Want me to get you something to eat? I can stop by to get you your fav tuna sandwich.”

Masie gave me a sweet smile. “I’m good, hun; don’t worry. Thanks, though.” Her hand gestured at me to leave, so I did.

With my keys bunched in my hand, I checked on my phone for missed calls and messages, but I only had one from my mom, stating that she wanted to take me to dinner at some point in the week to go over her upcoming birthday party. I really needed to do that. I mentally checked it on my calendar for some time on Wednesday or Thursday. From what I could recall, I had nothing going on with Drake either of those evenings.

Unlocking my Lexus SUV—a generous present from Drake—I drove towards his work. It took approximately twenty minutes to get around Wilshire Boulevard with traffic and to Tatum Worldwide, Inc. Since I was his wife, I didn’t need to park in the parking garage; I could easily park right up front where the concierge would take care of it for me.

Once I was inside the large, marble building, I got out my security pass so I could access the elevator. I gave myself a quick look-over from my subtle make-up and my simple white V-neck top to my black skinny jeans and black flats. My appearance was drab compared to the people who worked in the building, however there was nothing I could do; I went to work similarly dressed most of the time. I couldn’t afford to wear heels when I was on my feet all day baking. Besides, I would look ridiculous dressed like that. I was sure Drake wouldn’t mind; he’d seen me in far worse get-ups and hadn’t said a word about it.

The second the elevator doors opened on Drake’s floor, Mindy was right there, passing by. She immediately looked up and gave me a fierce hug. She and I had worked together before, and I was glad that I had someone in Drake’s camp that looked out for me. I could ask her about Drake’s schedule and what not, and she would easily hand it over without mentioning it to her boss. I appreciated that much. It made things easier for me just in case I was planning an impending surprise dinner or vacation.

“You look like a perfect, blushing newlywed!”

I doubted it. I knew I looked like crap, so I rolled my eyes at her, grinning. “Is he here? He doesn’t know I’m coming over.” Mindy wasn’t his main assistant, yet she knew his ins and outs.

“He’s here. He had a visitor without an appointment and told me not to go to lunch,” she informed me with a smile. “I’m sure you can go ahead and knock. Don’t tell him I suggested that, though.” She winked at me before going into the elevator.

With a wave of thanks towards her, I silently strolled towards the right side of the building where his office was located. Letting out a soft breath once I reached his double mahogany doors, I knocked twice before I let myself inside with a small, forceful push.

“Hi,” I rushed out the moment I saw Drake seated on one of the sofas with Katie on the opposite side. Pastries and coffee were on the table while they spoke to each other. “Am I interrupting?” I raised a brow towards Drake.

Drake shook his head before glancing over to the short-shorts clad Katie. “I forgot that my wife was coming over. I’ll see you Monday at nine a.m. sharp. Don’t be tardy.” He gave her a quick nod, dismissing her.

Katie smiled at him like a lost puppy then got up. “Thank you again for the awesome opportunity, Drake!” She moved over to him and gave him a hug that was too close for comfort while my husband simply patted her shoulder. She then went past me, giving me a tight smile before leaving his office.

The second the door clicked, indicating the lock was in place, I watched him with curiosity. “I hope she won’t be dressed like that working for you.”

He shrugged, placing his hands in his pocket. “Of course not.” He studied me awhile before walking towards me, stopping inches away. “Are you here to spy on me?”

I licked my lips, matching his stare. “I wanted to take you out for lunch unless, of course, you went with her already.”

“You sound angry… why’s that?”

I wasn’t angry. Maybe a little defensive… “I wasn’t expecting her to be here, that’s all.” Katie was beautiful, and not to mention, young and fresh. And I was territorial.

“I could’ve told you that had you called me first.”

Something about his voice irked me. “I didn’t know I had to make appointments to see you.”

“You don’t.” He frowned. “Why are we still discussing this? This is stupid.”

It was. Then again, maybe it wasn’t. “Do you think she’s pretty?” The question surprised us both.

His gray eyes darkened, watching me intently. “That’s a dumb question. I won’t answer that.”

I let out a shaky breath, about to lose my temper. “Just answer it.” I was insecure, I knew that, and for Drake to finally know that I was made me feel even more unworthy, however something in me needed to know.

“She’s barely out of her teens.”

What was she?
Twenty?
So what? “A simple yes or no and then we can get on with lunch, if you still want to.”

“Okay, maybe a little pretty,” he admitted before adding, “but I don’t look at her as anything other than a kid, Lil. So fucking drop it, please?”

He meant his words—that he looked at her like a kid—but it still didn’t sit well with me. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

I nodded, not sure if I still wanted to go out for lunch anymore. My appetite was gone.

“Do you want me to order or do you have a place in mind?” he asked while his forefinger cradled my chin, lifting it to meet his gaze.

“I feel like a light lunch; a sandwich or a salad.” Pressing my lips together, I tried to get a hold of my emotions. Drake had been doing nothing wrong, and yet, here I was, over-reacting like an idiot. “I drove, so I’ll meet you at Jerry’s?”

He nodded before pulling me into his arms. “See you in a bit.”

“Okay.” I pulled out of his tight hold, ready to get out of his office.

“I love you.” He tugged on my arms.

Damn. My heart melted just a fraction. “Same here.”

When we met at the restaurant, we barely spoke to each other as we strolled inside and were seated facing each other. I played with the condiments while he was on his phone. We both were trying to kill time, pretending that this odd silence wasn’t killing us inside.

I watched as he set his phone aside the second our food arrived. The thought of eating a salad was a hardship; my appetite was nil. Nevertheless, I took my first bite, and the food felt like rocks in my mouth.

“Do you really think I’d ever cheat on you?” Drake whispered without touching his food as he looked at me intently.

Things happened… I wasn’t delusional. I mean, even saints got tempted. We were merely humans after all. “I know you love me; I don’t question that,” I whispered, feeling small in that moment. “But if it does happen, I won’t be surprised.”

He stilled, frowning. “You need to explain this to me, ‘cause if the day came that you told me you’d had an affair, it would be the day I would kill another man.”

It was a promise. “The women before me… I mean,” I started nervously as I toyed with the salad, pushing it around the white bowl. “Shannon and the celebrities you dated… were stunning.” I fucking wasn’t.

I could lie to myself all I wanted, but I knew deep down that I was always aware of our differences. Those feelings tended to resurface when he surrounded himself with those women, making my insecurities come out on the surface, much to my chagrin.

“So fucking what, Lil? I married you,” he spat out, frustrated. “
You
and not any of those women.”

“It’s easy for you—”

“I knew it was you I was going to marry,” he cut me off. “I have always known.”

“Don’t you get tempted at all?”

He pushed his plate away, growling. “I’m done with this stupidity.” He stood up. “Let me know when you’ve grown up.”

I stayed in my seat, trying not to call him back. This argument had been all my doing. If I couldn’t straighten out my thoughts and emotions, there was no point in trying to talk to him.

Marriage was about compromise—
trust.
I trusted him, yet I still couldn’t bring myself to believe that he wouldn’t cheat on me one day.

There was no point in fighting with myself. I knew I had to face him later that night, and hopefully by then, I would have snapped out of this awful doubt.

Fight Me Not

Losing track of time only happened once in a while, and that night was one of them. By the time I checked my watch, it was already past eight. Usually, Drake had called or texted me by then, but there had been none of that. I deserved his cold indifference, too.

I wondered what awaited me at home. Would we talk and I could apologize for my horrid behavior or would we continue to ignore each other? I hated this. I shouldn’t have spoken out… or maybe I shouldn’t have doubted him to begin with. After all, he had been right; it was me he had chosen to marry.

Sighing, I strode over to the sink to wash up when I suddenly felt my vision blur and everything spun around me. Gripping the end of the sink, I closed my eyes and tried to breathe deeply.

“Fuck, I shouldn’t have skipped dinner,” I muttered. My stomach didn’t have much in it since lunch had only consisted of a few forkfuls of greens. The dizzy spell was just a sign that I needed to start taking care of myself. Thinking that this could be something serious was absurd, I tried to soothe myself.

Prying my eyes open slowly, I waited for the dizzying wave, but it never came. Calming myself down, I finished cleaning up.

Masie had leftovers in the fridge, so I went to get them then sat myself down with a chilled bottle of water and forced myself to eat. After my quick meal, I left work and headed straight to our house in Malibu.

My townhouse in Santa Monica was still around. Deep down, it was still my home, and when Drake had suggested that I sell it, I’d immediately rebuked his idea. I knew we shared his house as our marital home, but I loved my place. Besides, as much as I loved Drake’s house, nothing there was mine. My house was where I felt safe and nothing beat that smell of home, so once in a blue moon, whenever I got a chance, I went there to take breaks in between work.

My feelings of sadness washed over me the moment I stepped into our home. Drake wasn’t there; his car wasn’t there.

Skull, Drake’s other love of his life, was there to greet me, however. I slowly picked him up, cradling his fluffy body in my arms while I let him lick me on the lips. “Miss me that much, huh?” I kissed him back, laughing. “I missed you, too, buddy.” Scratching the back of his head, he panted like mad on my face. “Where’s daddy?” I whispered to him while my mind worried. Where was he?

I wanted to call him, demand to know where he was, but I knew that he needed space. He’d come to me when he was ready to talk. So I would wait, despite the fact that I hated waiting on eggshells. I knew I deserved his cold shoulder, though.

With heavy legs and Skull in my arms, I went upstairs, needing a hot bath. Hopefully it would be enough to soothe my tired muscles and my over-imaginative brain.

Pouring a hefty amount of lavender in the bath, I gently placed the dog on the plush mat while I took care of my clothing, dumping it in the laundry bin.

I felt out of sorts; miserable and downright sad. Glancing over at the sleeping Skull, my heart squeezed at the very sight of him. I hoped this mini tiff I’d had with Drake wouldn’t be a big deal. My insecurities, like most people, were normal. I had made a mishap in letting that all out, and it had culminated in my husband being nowhere in sight.

Soaking in the hot, steaming bath for an hour almost revived my poor spirit. After drying myself with a towel, I pulled my robe out of the closet and swiftly wrapped the tie around my body.

“Fuck it,” I whispered, reaching for my phone as I strode towards the bedroom, about to dial Drake’s number. I was halted in my tracks when I saw him sitting on the bed… with a tray perched next to him.

His hair was all over the place and his tie was loosely hanging around his neck. I had never seen this roguish sexiness in him, and God, I needed to apologize to him immediately.

“I was about to call you.”

His lips pressed together before he raked a hand over his hair, mussing it again in a different direction. “I don’t like fighting with you, Lily,” he sounded depleted, tired. “This is killing me, baby.”

Fuck, I had been such a dumb idiot. Seriously. My feelings were irrelevant. The expression on his face and his words made me realize what was more important, and that was to keep us both happy.

Striding over towards him, I knelt before him, hugging his hips as I pressed my cheek against his shirt. “I’m so sorry. This is killing me, too.”

“Lil, I don’t ever want you to hide your feelings from me.” He stroked my hair gently, his hands taking my pain away. “You can talk to me—about anything—but please, no more of this cheating crap. It’s never going to fucking happen, so don’t count on it.”

“Thank you for being so kind and patient.” I expected him to come home and raise hell, yet instead, I had received the opposite. I got an understanding man, ready to forgive his hysterical wife.

Slowly pulling away from his body, I glanced towards the tray next to him. “Brownies and milk,” I stated, amused.

He finally smirked, bringing those amazing gray eyes to me, shining with love. “I was worried whether you had eaten at all, so I brought comfort food.” He pulled me up with his strong, large hands, placing me on his lap. “I don’t ever want to go to sleep angry with you. I don’t want our fights to ruin our tomorrow.” He touched my cheek, brushing it with his finger. “Promise me we’ll try to fix our problems as soon as possible. Promise me that we won’t ever go to sleep with hate in our hearts towards each other.”

I nodded and then gave a chaste kiss on his lips. “I promise. Again, I’m so sorry, babe.”

“Good.” He took a glass of milk and handed it to me. “I hope you’re hungry.”

I so was, without a doubt in my mind; my appetite had returned with gusto. “Always,” I murmured as I took a napkin and placed a brownie on it then took a scrumptious bite. “You’re the best husband ever.”