Loving Hart

Once again, this book is dedicated to my amazing readers. 
You've been incredible, and everything I write, I write for you. 

*Important Note about Loving Hart*

There was a lot of debate about how to construct chapter one.  I chose to start the narrative when the twins were introduced into Spencer's life.  I wrote, re-wrote and then re-wrote the chapter again, but in the end, I went with what my original idea was.  While Spencer might seem to be very self aware for such a young child, I assure you all that children are VERY smart, especially when they are in regular physical danger.  The Hart/Cross children would not have been treated like "normal" children, and their maturity reflects that.

The
two tiny babies make me
r
eal nervous.  I've never seen any
thing
smaller
.  Dante keeps
tellin
’
me
that
I
won't
break one if I pick it up, but
for now
,
I'm
keepin
’
my distance.
I'm
four
,
and
I
don't
know a thing
about babies.  Damien
doesn't
either
,
but he picks them up
and holds them
all the time.
"I love my babies," he tells me
.  I like them
‘
cause h
e does, but I
can't
pick one up
‘
cause
I'm too scared.
Just
thinkin
’
about
droppin
’
one
,
and how upset Dante and Damien would be
,
makes me feel sick
.

C
an't help but stare
at them though.
  They might be tiny
,
but
they
are cute for babies
.  Damien’s always
kissin
’
and
huggin
’
them,
tryin
’
to make
me see what he sees.  When he picks them up he always says, “I love my pretty little lady bugs.”
Don’t know why he calls them that
,
but he thinks it’s funny.
Never saw Damien love somethin
’
so much before.
  Always
smilin
’
at them and
makin
’
funny noises.

Dante
watches over them like
he’s
GI Joe.  H
e
says they deserve better than this
kind of
life
. 
Don't
know what that means
for sure,
but I
think
I get it,
‘
cause t
heir parents
never hold or
even touch them
.
 
I
f I was one of the babies I wouldn't want them touchin
’
me anyway
.
 
I think the babies agree with me,
'
cause whenever their pa
rents are in the room they cry and scream.  It mak
es Mr. Hart real mad
,
and
he’ll
start screaming back at them
, right in their faces. 
It’s
scary
.  Mrs.
Hart
ain’t no better
‘
cause she don’t just scream, she hits.
  When they cry, she
spanks their diapers, which makes them cry even more.
Dante and Damien
are
always
havin
’
t
o jump in front and try and get her to hit them instead.
It’s
crazy that they have to beg their mom to hit them instead of the babies.
The babies are
way too small to be gettin
'
hit, so Dante says we
got to
always keep an eye out for when the Hart's are comin
’
so we can take the kids away
,
because otherwise they could really hurt them
.

For a while
,
I thought the babies
weren't
real
,
because Mr.
an
d
Mrs. Hart said they
were born
,
but they
didn't
come home for a long time.
Now everything's changed,
and when Damien and I come home from Pre-Kindergarten, he runs into the house to start taking care of them.
  He and Dante say we
got to
take care of these babies and make sure
they're
okay, so I'm
tryin
’
to he
lp
. 
The babies got what Dante says is a nanny, but she
don't
stay longer than when we get home from school
and
she
don't
speak English.  Dante says
it's
the same lady that took care of Damien when he
was born
,
and that
she's
okay.

I
spent a few days not knowing
which one was which
, but I finally figured out a way to tel
l the difference between the two of them
.  Dominique is all squirmy
,
and
Delilah is quieter.
 
Never saw two people look the same but be so different.
 
Dante says Delilah really likes me
because
when I sit with them on the floor, she lays all quiet
and stares at me while she
holds my finger.
For someone so tiny
,
she's
real strong. 
Sometimes I have to fight to get my finger away cause she holds it so tight, and s
he cries like crazy every time I walk away.
 
Dante says
that's
‘
cause
she wants me to pick her up
and hold her
.  "
You
see that Spence? She trusts
you
already. 
You
can pick her up bud." 

When Mr. Hart o
verheard Dante saying that
,
he
laughed.  "Don't care if
you
drop one. 
They're
ugly. Nothing
you
do could make them uglier. Hell, all of
you
are dirt dumb and ugly. Fuckin
’
kids."

I keep dreaming about that, about what he said
,
and the way he said it
, over and over.  I bet
that's
what my dad said when I was just little. 
Doesn't make sense why our parents had kids when they don't even like us.

***

We kept
tryin
’
and tryin
’
, but D
elilah
wa
s
so
sick and
had what Dante
said was
a
"real
bad fever
"
,
and nothing
we did wa
s makin
’
it go a
way.
  Dante went and got his mother and then later his father,
beggin
’
them to call a doctor, to do anything to help her, but they just yelled at him and told him to stop being a baby.

I never saw Dante that
scared before, and
it made
me and
Damien real scared too.  Dante was
tryin
’
to hold it in I think, but when he put D
elilah
in the tub to try and bring her fever down, I saw him
cryin
’
. 
Never saw him cry
before, not ever. 

Delilah
was
so quiet
it was weird
.  Dante said
that's
'
cause she was
so "out of it."

The more time that
went
by, the worse it was
gettin
'
. 
Damien asked Dante if
one of our babies was
gonna die, so I knew he was real scared
too
.
 
I was so
sick
I thought I was going to die. 
Don’t
know what I’d do if somethi
ng happened to one of the girls, especially Delilah. 
She’s
my favorite, always
starin
’
at me and
holdin
’
my hand.

Her breathing sounded
real w
eird, real loud.  Poor D
ominique
curled
up next to her
cryin
’
real quiet, and Dante said
that
wasn't
a
good
"sign."
 

When D
elilah
started
coughin
’
and fightin
’
to get a breath, Dante stood up and ran from the room. 
Damien and I
were scared
and confused
, and then there were sirens in the driveway
,
and
two men and a
nice
lady came in all dressed in uniforms with a r
olling bed.  They took Delilah
away, said they thought she had
somethin
’
called pneumonia.  Dante had to look that word up
to see what it meant
.  Mrs. Hart asked if they
could
just take Dominique without her
,
but
they sa
id she had to go.  She was mad and
she went, but the look she gave Dante was not
good
.