Loving Lies (19 page)

“So good…” Her whispering moan only fueled his lusts. “Better than the dreams, Slade. It's better than the dreams.”

He groaned at the husky declaration. Yes, it was better than the dreams, hotter, deeper and he wanted more. He moved down her body, spreading her thighs wide as his head lowered and he kissed the wet folds of her pussy. He laid his lips against them, parted them with his tongue, licked through the narrow little slit and became intoxicated on her heat and her taste.

She was nectar. A fire in the winter. Summer's heat all winter long, and she filled him. Filled all the dark corners of his soul and gave him joy. This was joy. Holding her hips arched to his lips, fucking her with his tongue, licking at the weeping fall of her juices and hearing her ragged moans as they echoed around him.

As she unraveled in orgasm, he felt his chest expand in pride and possessiveness. She was his. Rising above her, he moved between her spread thighs, watching as his cock nudged against the flushed curves, his teeth gritting as he remembered the condom still tucked in his pants.

“Are you protected, baby?”

She stared at him, dark eyes filled with heat and hunger.

“I was never unprotected,” she breathed out roughly.

He stared down at her, reliving Amy's announcement of her pregnancy, his horror, his terror that the weekend he had spent filling Jessie with his seed would destroy her life as well.

He glanced at her abdomen, a surge of emotion ripping through him at the thought of filling her with their child. Of seeing her sweet curves ripen, her belly heavy with a babe.

He licked his lips at the hunger.

“I want to have babies with you,” he whispered, pressing inside her. “Soon. I want our child filling you. I want to tie you to me until there's no way in hell you can get away from me.”

Her breathing hitched as he pulled his gaze back to her face and he saw the hunger there. Not just the hunger for the lust, for the release. The hungry dreams, the need to tie him to her as effectively as he would tie her to him.

He slid inside her, working his hips slowly, stroking each agonized inch of his cock into the fist-tight portal sucking him in. She rippled around him, clenched, convulsed, bound his soul with her touch, with her love.

“You would make beautiful babies, Jessie,” he groaned, his voice rough as he seated himself inside her to the hilt. “Our babies.”

“You're killing me, Slade,” she whimpered, her eyes nearly black with emotion as she lifted to him, taking all of him with a pained little cry of pleasure. “Don't dream with me then take it all again.”

The aching fear in her voice as her hands gripped his arms broke his heart all over again.

“Never again,” he snarled, retreating, thrusting powerfully inside her. “I'll never lose you again, Jessie.”

His hands dug into her hips as he began to move, the ability to speak, to think, disappearing rapidly beneath the passion consuming them both. He pounded inside her, feeling her pussy grip him, ripple around him, spasming and convulsing as she cried out hoarsely, finding her first release.

It wasn't enough. Not yet.

“Again.” He growled, coming over her, lifting her legs and sinking deeper inside her.

She was wet, so silky-sweet and syrupy-slick that he growled in animalistic hunger against her throat. He couldn't get enough of her. Couldn't get deep enough, hard enough. And she was so fucking tight that each stroke was like pushing inside a velvet vise that tightened and wrung every ounce of pleasure from his soul.

“Hold me, Jessie.” Her arms were tight around his shoulders, but he wasn't close enough. The heat of her seared him, washing over him, through him, warming him. But he had to get closer, had to mark her, bind her to him forever.

Her arms tightened around him, her body quickened beneath him, but the words he needed didn't fall from her lips. Didn't echo in the air around them, and he knew it wasn't something he could force from her.

She had given him her love unconditionally once before, and now he was fighting for it. Begging for it.

He moved harder, deeper, snarling with the pleasure and the pain of loving her, taking her. Her cries shattered the stillness of the air as he lunged desperately inside her over and over again. He fucked her with a desperation that would have shocked him had he the sense to pay attention. All he knew was the pleasure, the incredible hunger and the love ripping through him.

As she exploded beneath him again, her pussy rippling and clenching around him, reality darkened. His only pinpoint of light was Jessie as he felt the sizzling warning of his release race up his spine and fill his head.

He thrust harder, his hips pounding against her, his cock stroking furiously inside the melting heat of her pussy until he came apart as well. Driving deeper, fighting to become a part of her forever, he felt his release shatter him. Hard, blinding, his semen shot from his dick, filling her, flooding her with rich, heated seed, searching for that ultimate bond, the dream that had filled him for years.

Jessie.

Chapter Eighteen

 

“We have a date this evening,” Slade reminded her as she lay in drowsy, sated splendor on the bed after another bout of mind-blowing sex. The man was a walking orgasm. A bone-melting, rocking, incredible orgasm waiting to happen. Her pussy still throbbed from the pounding he had given it, even as it ached with satisfied pleasure.

“We don't have a date.” She stretched, laziness filling her as her eyes drifted closed and a nice long nap became a major consideration.

The silence that followed her statement wasn't noticeable to her at first. Her senses were still dazed, her nervous system on overload. There was nothing quite like sex with Slade. It did something to her. Made her drunk or high or maybe sedated? It was better than any drug she had ever heard of. And she guessed, working as she did with some of the more precocious kids at the school, she had heard of most of the current drugs.

Maybe it was adrenaline overload, she thought lazily. Didn't you fall really fast when you crashed from it?

“Jessie, I'll be back tonight…”

“…don't wanna hear it.” She really didn't. It was like tempting fate. She had been there before, she didn't like it then and she was going to like it even less as a second dose of disillusionment.

She heard his sigh and ignored that too. She was just too damned boneless to argue right now. Of course, if he wanted to lie down beside her, maybe nap just a little bit before he rushed off to that stupid meeting, she could handle that. They hadn't talked much, she realized. From the moment he had burst his way back into her life, they hadn't done much but fuck. It was a helluva way to spend a summer day, but she had to admit, she was beginning to wish for more. Beginning to crave more.

She wanted to spend the night in his arms. Wanted to share dreams, and tell him about the kids at school, the bitch principal from hell. She wanted to hear about his day at work, listen to his dry humor as he recounted his day to her. She wanted more than just the sex and that had the power to piss her off.

As she lay there, she could have sworn she felt a breath of air at her hip, a light caress on the tattoo placed there. A fragile memory flitted through her mind. Midnight, a party raging outside as she slipped into sleep, the feel of Slade's eyes watching her, his lips at her hip, seconds later his voice at her ear.

Take my heart with you, baby girl. It follows you…always…
The sound of his pain, his voice hoarse, ragged, as torn as her soul. As though it had actually happened, rather than a wishful dream, a kernel of hope to keep her heart warm. She was pathetic, she admitted, not for the first time. A walking, talking fool for one man.

She opened her eyes, staring down where he knelt beside the bed, his head raising from her hip. Chills raced up her spine as he stared back at her, his gaze still holding the shadows of a bleak, grief-torn pain.

The words were on the tip of her lips, knowledge fighting to find its way through as she pushed it ruthlessly back. She wouldn't revisit the past, she swore to herself. She was taking one day at a time with him, one touch at a time. If and when he was gone again, she would survive, knowing she had expected nothing more.

A resigned quirk tugged at his lips. “I'll never leave you again, Jessie.”

She shook her head, that clenching cold chill racing over her scalp as that memory whispered through her head again.

“No promises, Slade.” She reached up, her fingers brushing over his beard-stubbled jaw as he caught her hand, holding it to his cheek. “I have to survive. No promises.”

He shook his head, weariness filling his expression before he clenched his teeth in irritation. Irritation on Slade's face amused her. He had a way of lowering his brows, slicing into you with those stormy eyes, and making most people wish they had never crossed paths with him to begin with. It had always made her laugh.

“I'll be back tonight.” He laid his fingers across her lips as she began to negate the statement. “Tonight, Jessie. Bet on it.”

She wasn't a betting woman. Not anymore.

He rose, giving her one last, brooding look.

“You've carried my heart, all this time. Hell, you owned my soul. Don't ask me to stop dreaming of you, or to stop asking for tomorrow. Because for five fucking years the hope that came with each tomorrow was all I fucking had left. Remember that.”

He turned and stomped from the bedroom then the apartment as Jessie frowned up at the ceiling.

Take my heart with you, baby girl. It follows you…always…

Shaking away the chill of premonition, she rose from the bed. Forget sleep, she would only dream. Lately, her dreams had been too shadowed, too disturbing to want to face again. The only time she didn't dream of him was when he held her. The nights were long, restless, her need to feel his warmth against her overwhelming.

She should have demanded answers by now, she thought as she dragged herself to the shower and scrubbed at her body angrily. She should have demanded answers before she ever allowed him to touch her. But she hadn't. Too stupid to live, she thought with a sigh as she dried and pulled on her bathing suit and wrap. The clear water of the small lake outside the office building pulled at her. Her float was secured in the seat of Jazz's fishing boat, and the sun was coming up hot and bright. She was going to enjoy it before lesson plans, parent-teacher meetings, and the stress of the school year began. She hadn't time to worry about Slade or his reasons for anything. She told herself there was no excuse for his actions five years before. If he had loved her, truly loved her, they could have worked through anything.

Stepping from the building, she let a smile tug at her lips as she heard the ducks quacking at the end of the dock. There were dozens of small groups of the cute little fiends that fought for every scrap of food they could find. As she walked across the parking lot, shock soared within her as she saw the small scrap of humanity squatting at the edge of the floating walkway, leaning forward, hands outstretched for one precious feathered baby.

“Oh my God. Oh my God.” She began to race along the path, knowing she would never get there in time. Never… “Oh my God. Slade! Jazz. Help me!” She was screaming as the baby toppled into the water, his little head disappearing into the murky depths as she tore her wrap from her shoulders and dived in.

The warm water enclosed her, deep, too fucking deep. And dark. The child's hair was dark as well, and vision was severely limited beneath the dark waters.

She stretched, kicking her feet, her hands moving frantically before her as she fought to feel for the child's dark head. He couldn't have sunk far, she thought irrationally. He couldn't weigh enough. He was such a little scrap he couldn't have gone far. But the fall to the water was nearly four feet, it would have given him enough momentum with the way his body had curled, reaching for that damned duck.

Where are you?
she screamed silently, staring through the murky depths desperately.
Oh God. Let me find him. Let me find him.

Fighting to push deeper, searching desperately, she could feel the pressure in her chest growing tighter, the need for oxygen consuming her when she caught the faintest glimmer of pale flesh. Reaching out mindlessly, her fingers finally tangled in soft silky hair and pulled as she began kicking for the surface. Securing the child in her arms, she struggled now to save them both. Hard hands grabbed her waist and propelled her through the life-taking depths, causing her to burst to the surface faster than she could have herself.

She broke through the water, gulping in air, the lax little body in her arms terrifying her as she saw Jazz's pale face reaching for the body. She lifted the boy to him as Slade scrambled to the floating deck, an enraged howl tearing from his throat.

“Cody!” His resounding cry had her turning shocked eyes to where Jazz and Zack were working to expel the water from the baby's lungs, begging him to breathe.

“Oh God! Cody. Baby! Breathe for Daddy, Cody. Breathe.” Slade bent, blew into the mouth and nostrils, rising as Jazz massaged the tiny chest and Zack checked the pulse in the skinny little arm.

Slade's face was wet and not just from the plunge he had taken into the water after her. Tears rained from his eyes, filled his voice as he prayed.

As though in slow motion, Jessie watched, her heart bursting in her chest as sobs fought to tear free.

“Oh God! Cody, please…” Slade bent, breathing into the child's mouth again as Jazz and Zack cursed, screamed.

Suddenly, the little body jerked, convulsed and water streamed from his nose and mouth. A whimpering cry turned into a terror-filled wail for his daddy as Slade jerked him into his arms. Rocking him, his arms surrounded the child as he buried his face in his wet hair.

Slade's face was white, his body shuddering. Not that she blamed him, the child was a stranger to her and she was shaking, shock and confusion ripping through her mind. She couldn't believe it. She told herself there was no way she could have suspected it. And yet, the proof was there.