Once he mounted Zeus, however, his thoughts were free to
wander, and wander they did. Right back to his wife.
He urged his mount into a gallop, ignoring the pounding in
his head. By some miracle he hadn’t suffered an attack last night. He couldn’t
say why, but he vowed not to take such reckless chances in the future. His
drinking had, however, erased his resolve to stay away from Louisa. He laughed
out loud at that thought, recognizing there was no point in lying to himself.
He’d known full well what he was doing the whole time he was with her. He’d
known he should have stopped, but he hadn’t wanted to. Like the weak, selfish
bastard he was, he’d taken what she offered, and now he had to deal with the
knowledge that his actions could very well have resulted in Louisa conceiving
an heir who was doomed to inherit his family’s illness.
He was tempted to keep riding all the way back to London,
but he couldn’t do that to Louisa. After returning Zeus to the stables and
walking around to the front of the house, he was surprised to see his cousin’s
carriage driving away and quickened his pace. It was far too early for a social
call. He didn’t think Edward was foolish enough to harass his wife or his
sister-in-law in their own home, but he couldn’t be certain. Not in light of
the fact that his cousin had threatened vengeance the last time they’d spoken.
He breathed easier when the footman informed him that Miss
Mary Manning had been there with her maid. Mary was annoying, but she was also
harmless. He headed for the stairs, intending to bathe and change, when he
overheard Catherine’s voice coming from the breakfast room.
“I was surprised to find them together.”
For a moment he feared she was referring to Louisa and
Kerrick, but recognized the fear was a foolish one. Still, curiosity had him
changing direction and heading for the breakfast room.
He found Catherine and Louisa alone, the remains of their
breakfast on the table before them. Louisa turned her head and his stomach
clenched as their eyes met and held. She was lovely, as ever. Her hair was
pinned up in a modest arrangement, her clothing demure, but all he saw when he
looked at her was the woman he’d made love to last night. Color crept into her
cheeks and he knew she, too, was remembering. He wanted to take her hand and
spirit her upstairs. It would be far more enjoyable to have her, rather than
his valet, help him in his bath. His body tightened in response to the thought.
He realized he was acting like a lovesick schoolboy around
her. If he wasn’t careful, he’d soon find himself penning love sonnets to her.
Since neither he nor Louisa seemed capable of speech at that
moment, it was Catherine who spoke first.
“You look well this morning. Did your ride agree with you?”
He replied, but he was looking at Louisa when he did so. “It
was most enjoyable.”
Her eyes widened slightly when she realized the double
meaning behind his words and she looked away. Nicholas tore his gaze from her
and looked at Catherine, who was sporting a large smile. She must have sensed
that his and Louisa’s relationship had changed, and it was clear she approved.
He had to force his thoughts back to their visitor. “I saw
my cousin leaving. Why was she here?”
It was Louisa who replied. “She invited us to dinner this
weekend.”
He frowned. “Was there a reason why she extended the
invitation in person?”
“She didn’t say, but perhaps your aunt believes we’d be more
likely to accept if Mary delivered the invitation. It was most curious,
especially when her maid disappeared for a few minutes.”
He raised a brow. “Disappeared?”
“You won’t believe it,” Catherine said, leaning forward and
warming to the subject. “Mary’s maid was alone with your valet.”
“Harrison?” Nicholas couldn’t have been more surprised. “Are
you certain?”
“Oh, yes. They were at the back of the house and didn’t
realize I was in the conservatory.” Her voice lowered as she continued. “She
gave him something. I think it was a love letter.”
Nicholas couldn’t say why, but he was concerned about what
his sister-in-law had just told him. Harrison had been behaving strangely of
late. His valet knew there was no love lost between Nicholas and his aunt and
cousins, however, so it would make sense that he would hide the fact he was
having a relationship with one of their servants. Nicholas didn’t make a habit
of meddling in the affairs of his staff, though, and tried to shrug off his
unease at Catherine’s news.
“It is a beautiful morning today, is it not?”
He turned to find Kerrick standing in the doorway. To
Nicholas’s great annoyance, Kerrick walked up to Louisa and took her hand.
“You look even lovelier than usual this morning,” he said,
bowing over her hand.
Louisa blushed and Nicholas’s palms itched with the desire
to remove the smile from his friend’s face. He watched in silence as Kerrick
greeted Catherine in a similar manner before turning back to Louisa.
“Despite Nicholas’s desire to bury himself in work, I have
had a wonderful stay. I hope it hasn’t been too inconvenient that my stay has
been a long one?”
Louisa smiled with fondness at him, and Nicholas’s annoyance
grew.
“Of course not,” she said. “As a friend of my husband’s, you
are always welcome.”
Nicholas had to put an end to this once and for all. Things
had changed and it was time Kerrick learned that. Before he ended up killing
him.
“I need to speak with you,” he said, cutting Kerrick off
before he could say anything else.
He turned and stalked from the room, but not before he
caught the glance that passed between his wife and his friend. Catherine also
caught it, and the expression on her face mirrored Nicholas’s own annoyance.
He didn’t stop until he’d reached his study. Kerrick followed
without a word.
“Close the door,” Nicholas said.
His friend complied with a sigh. “You should know that I
have grown very fond of your wife. Perhaps one day, after your death—”
Nicholas moved swiftly until he was toe-to-toe with his
friend, his anger barely restrained. “If you value your life, you will not
finish that sentence.”
Kerrick took a step back and tsked.
“We’ll be discreet, old boy. Enough time will pass that no
one will suspect your heir is really my son.”
“Kerrick,” he said through clenched teeth, “you need to stop
talking.”
He was a hairsbreadth away from punching his friend. He
turned away and drew in a lungful of air while he tried to control his anger.
Even though he knew the previous night was a mistake, he couldn’t wish it
undone. And he most definitely did not want Kerrick going anywhere near Louisa.
He knew that once he was gone Louisa would be a very desirable catch and she
would easily find another husband. The possessive side of him, the one that
wanted to hoard her away only for himself, didn’t want to even consider that
future.
Wisely, his friend remained silent. Without his further
taunts, Nicholas was able to bring his burgeoning anger under control. When he
turned to face him again, Kerrick raised a brow in question.
Nicholas struggled with what he needed to say, aware that he
would look like a fool. Not for telling Kerrick to stay away from his wife, but
for ever having made his proposition in the first place.
“There was something you wanted to discuss with me?” Kerrick
asked when he didn’t speak.
“Yes, damn it. You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?”
“You’d better believe it.”
“Fine,” Nicholas said. “I was an idiot to have suggested you
father my heir.”
Instead of gloating as he’d expected, Kerrick frowned and
crossed his arms. “Not good enough.”
“Excuse me?”
“I want to know why you changed your mind.”
Nicholas weighed what to tell him. “I decided it was too
risky. I didn’t want the possibility of a scandal to attach itself to the
future marquess.”
Kerrick made a sound of disgust. “You can’t admit it, can
you?”
Nicholas fell back on the icy demeanor he had mastered so
well since his brother’s death and the announcement that he was now the
Marquess of Overlea.
“I have already admitted I made an error in judgment. Let us
leave it at that. And don’t think to provoke me by continuing your absurd
courtship of my wife.”
Kerrick laughed. “You’re a fool, Nicholas. You know, at
first I thought it was just that you found your wife attractive and wanted to
bed her yourself. And who would blame you? I am sure most men would feel the
same way.”
Nicholas scowled.
“Not me,” Kerrick said, taking a step back and holding up
his hands in innocence. “But seeing you now? Hearing you try so very hard to
deny what has become increasingly clear to me?”
“I don’t have the patience to play these games with you
today,” Nicholas said, brushing past his friend and heading for the door.
“Have you even had the courage to admit it to yourself?”
Nicholas wouldn’t stand and be called a coward. He stopped and
turned to face Kerrick, his face a mask of imperious disdain.
“You’re in love with your wife, Nicholas.” Kerrick laughed.
“I never thought I would live to see the day.”
He would be damned before he’d stand there and allow Kerrick
to laugh at his feelings. “Are you through amusing yourself at my expense?”
Kerrick sobered instantly. “Between you or your wife, I
don’t know who to pity more. Are you going to bother telling her?”
Nicholas shrugged casually. “There’s nothing to say.”
“I see,” Kerrick said. “Can I stay the remainder of the
week?”
“Do what you like.”
He caught the passing expression of resignation on his
friend’s face before he turned and strode from the room.
Yes, he was indeed in a sad, sorry state. Hopelessly in love
with his wife but unable to tell her. First because of how dishonorably he’d
treated her since meeting her, and second because he knew his admission would
cause her more pain when he died.
For the first time since coming to
live at Overlea Manor, Louisa was happy. She couldn’t believe Nicholas had made
that remark about riding in front of Catherine, but it boded well for their
marriage that he was no longer avoiding her.
After he left with Kerrick, she didn’t see him again until
dinner. She was busy with household matters for most of the morning, and
Nicholas had met with his steward that afternoon for some time. The way he kept
looking at her throughout dinner, his eyes promising a world of sensual delight
later that evening, made it difficult for her to follow what everyone was
saying. More than once she had to ask someone to repeat themselves when they
directed a comment at her. Nicholas grinned in amusement at her state of
distraction, which in turn only made it worse. She still couldn’t believe how
different he was and half feared he would revert to his former distant self.
Later that night after dismissing her maid, Louisa waited
for Nicholas. She wore the same nightgown she’d donned the night before,
remembering how it had inflamed him, and her hair tumbled loosely down her
back.
She’d retired first and it was a little while before she
heard the sound of her husband and his valet’s voices through the door that
joined their rooms. She frowned when she thought about what Catherine had
revealed that morning. Harrison was a serious-minded, meticulous man, and while
she wouldn’t call him old, he was no longer young. She had a hard time
believing he would take up with Mary’s maid, who was quite a bit younger than
him. She acknowledged, though, that her perception might be colored by the fact
that he was always very distant with her and she’d never seen a glimpse of his
real personality. His formality wasn’t the same deference she received from the
rest of the household staff. He always seemed very careful to avoid looking at
her, which made her uncomfortable in his presence.
She shook her head and laughed at herself for being
oversensitive. Harrison was merely loyal to her husband and worried about their
marriage. Before last night it had been painfully obvious to all that Nicholas
avoided her whenever possible. As his valet, Harrison would have noticed their
strained relationship, and it would have colored his dealings with her.
She heard the door close and waited for what seemed an
eternity, trying to summon the courage to go to Nicholas’s room. It was one
thing to rush in there when she was afraid he’d fallen ill again and quite
another to enter brazenly.
She stood and took a deep breath. If nothing else, they at
least needed to talk. She needed to know once and for all what he expected with
respect to their relationship. She took a step toward the door but stopped when
a soft knock sounded. She wondered if she had imagined it. She took the last
few steps with her heart hammering in her chest and opened the door.
Her husband never failed to steal her breath. He stood on
the threshold, wearing his dressing robe over trousers and looking deliciously
sinful. His dark eyes roved over her body, barely concealed beneath the sheer
fabric of her nightgown.
“I can’t seem to stay away from you.”
She closed the space between them, throwing herself into his
arms, and he gathered her against him and held her close. Relief and joy washed
over her. They stood like that for a long time, simply taking in the feel of
being in each other’s arms.
“I’m a selfish bastard,” he said, his breath ruffling her
hair. “I should be thinking about the future. God knows, I tried to do the
noble thing.”
She drew back and looked up at him. “I think I prefer you
when you are not noble.”
Heat entered his eyes. “Then you’re going to like me a whole
lot for whatever time we have left together.”
She took a moment to examine him closely before replying.
Needing to make sure this was what he really wanted, she asked, “Have you been
drinking?”