Authors: Marie Astor
Suddenly, Annabel wished she could fall straight through the floor. It was not because of the guy
. H
ell, she didn’t even know who he was
. P
robably
he was
a jerk
,
given the fact that he thought it acceptable to ogle other women while waiting for his date. No, it was because she felt incredibly alone. Looking around
,
she became conscious of all the couples in the bar
. S
ince when
ha
d
New York
bar scene become so full of couples? Annabel remembered it as being full of singles trying to find their match, but now it seemed that she and Lilly were the only single women in the room. Everywhere there were couples
,
kissing, smiling, and gazing dreamily at each other, while she stood utterly and hopelessly alone. And just like that
,
her newly found confidence vanished.
“Lilly, I’m sorry, but could we just go home? I promise I’ll make it up to you next time.” Before she would burst into tears, Annabel lunged for the front door.
“Are you all right?” Lilly joined her on the sidewalk.
“I just had to get out of there. Do you mind if we go to my place instead and order pizza?”
“No, of course not
. A
nything you want.”
After Annabel ordered pepperoni pizza with extra chees
e from the local pizzeria -
a pizzeria where she and Jeremy had spent many a night talking about their hopes and plans
-
she sat down on the couch next to Lilly.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Lilly shrugged.
“For making a scene back there
. I
t was so stupid of me and selfish. Here you are, trying to cheer me up
,
and all I do is make it difficult for you. I’m sorry
,
and thank you for everything.”
“Hey, it’s
okay
. I shouldn’t have dragged you into that place
.
I just thought it might be fun.”
“I know, but for now I think I’d prefer to wallow in self
-
pity in the safety of my apartment.”
“I see.” Lilly nodded. “But what do you want to wallow in self
-
pity for, Ann? I understand you’re upset and all, but it looks to me like you’ve avoided a terrible mistake
. D
on’t you think that that’s something to be thankful for?”
“Thankful? Should I be thankful for witnessing my fiancé playing tongue hockey with Athena?”
“Yes
,
you should. It’s way better than catching your husband doing the same thing.”
“You have a point there,” Annabel conceded. “But it still doesn’t make me feel any better.”
“Hey, I know you’re upset, but just try to be rational about the whole thing. Don’t you remember how overwhelmed you were by where your relationship was going?”
“That was before he proposed.”
“Come on, Ann
.
I’m your friend, and that’s why I’m going to be honest with you. I never really liked Jeremy…”
“Well, there’s no secret there.” Annabel smiled in spite of herself.
“I always thought he was a poacher. He poached on you all these years, and now he’s going to poach off Athena. If anything, you should be happy that you finally got rid of him. Admit it
. D
eep down
,
it feels right to have broken up with him.”
“I
t
felt right when I told him to get out.” Annabel gave an imperceptible nod. “But now it feels scary. What if I’m never going to meet anyone? What if I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life? Meredith said that I’m going to live the rest of my life as a spinster.”
“Meredith lets her husband cheat on her left and right
.
I wouldn’t put too much stock into what she has to say. There are plenty of guys out there, Ann.”
“Yeah, sure
. T
here are plenty of good-looking, handsome, available men out there
,
like that guy in the bar tonight.”
“Annabel, if you’re going to flip out like this over every jerk, you’re going to have a heart attack!”
“No, it’s not because of that,” Annabel snapped. “Well, maybe it is, partially
. I
t is just that seeing all those couples in the bar made me feel so alone, like there’s no chance I’ll ever meet anyone.”
“You will meet the right guy
. Y
ou just
need to get back into the game
. S
o,
take your time, and don’t get serious too soon.”
Lilly was definitely an expert on
“
not getting serious too soon
.”
H
er relationships almost never lasted more than a few months.
“Lilly, I’m going to turn thirty in less than two years
. T
hat doesn’t exactly leave me much time.”
“In case you have forgotten, so am I.” Lilly smirked. “You don’t see me sweating
,
do you? And who says that thirty is some kind of a deadline for a woman to suddenly become undesirable?”
“It’s a known fact that it’s much harder for women in their thirties to get dates
,
because men in the same age group prefer to date younger women. But I’m sure it won’t be a problem for you
.
I mean, you are the one who sends them packing, not the other way around.”
“That was kind of harsh,” Lilly said quietly.
“Why is that harsh? It’s the truth, or are you the only one who has the right to be honest around here?”
“Well, if we are being honest, then I think you’ll agree that it’s still way better than settling for the wrong guy because you’re afraid to play the field.”
“I didn’t settle! I loved Jeremy!”
“Maybe in the beginning, Ann, but admit it that you stuck it out with him for so long because you were afraid to be on your own. You don’t have to admit it to me, but admit it to yourself at least. You were always playing it safe.”
“Well, maybe I do play it safe, but at least I don’t go around dumping perfectly good guys because I just can’t seem to make up my mind. I mean, look at you
. Y
ou’re always looking for a reason why it’s not going to work out with a guy! Take Simon, for example
. O
ne minute you’re saying you’re crazy about him
,
and the next you’re all casual about it. Why can’t you just be honest and admit that you like him?”
Lilly bit her lip and remained silent for a few moments.
“Since we are being honest here, have you ever thought that maybe the reason w
hy I send men packing is that
I’m afraid that they are going to leave me first? I don’t want to end up like my mom – abandoned by a husband of twenty years.”
“I thought your mom had a boyfriend.”
“That’s beside the point
. S
he was heart-broken when
D
ad left her, heartbroken! That’s not something that I’m particularly keen to experience.”
“But she got over it, didn’t she?”
Lilly looked away
,
and Annabel felt an instant pang of remorse.
“I’m sorry, Lilly. I don’t know what came over me
.
I’m afraid I’m just too full of bitterness today. Can you ever forgive me?”
“It’s
okay
. In fact, you’re right. You were right about everything you said.” Lilly tugged at the corners of her eyes.
“And so were you about everything you said about me and Jeremy,” Annabel admitted.
“I can’t remember the last time we fought like this
. M
aybe in high school? I guess it’s been a long time since we let our guards down. How about
w
e make a pact?”
“What kind of pact?”
“A pact for us to change our ways. I’m going to really give Simon a chance
,
and you are going to start taking chances too. I’m not saying that you have to start dating right away, but you’re going to start going out and at least try to flirt a little.”
“O
kay,
” Annabel conceded. “I promise to give it my best shot, but it will probably take me a while to get the hang of it.”
“Just as long as you promise to stick with it.”
“Fine.” Annabel nodded reluctantly.
“What’s that?” Lilly snatched the invite to Stephen Vargas’s club that was poking out of the side pocket of Annabel’s purse. “How did you come by on one of these? I’ve been dying to get my hands on this invite!”
“He is a client of the agency. I wasn’t going to go…”
“Are you kidding me? This is the perfect opportunity. We are going
,
and that’s final. Do you think you could get Simon in as well?”
“Sure, no problem
.
I have another invite somewhere,” Annabel agreed, hoping that at least with Simon there, Lilly wouldn’t be watching her the entire time.
“Great, so it’s settled then.” Lilly beamed a triumphant smile. “At least that’s a start, and you can be sure that I’ll think of other ways to get you out of the house. Hey, I’ve got an idea! Why don’t you come with me to
Paris
?”
“
Paris
?” A few months ago, even a few days ago, Annabel would have jumped at the chance, but now everything was different. She had dreamed of going to
Paris
for as long as she could remember
. M
any a night she and Jeremy would talk about all the exotic, glamorous destinations they would visit once they
were
flush, and
Paris
was always at the top of the list. But now, she was not sure if she was up for a trip to the city that was the worldwide
renowned
destination for lovers.
“Why didn’t I think of this before?” Lilly’s eyes lit up with excitement. “I’ll be staying at this huge place, rent-free! Remember Jackie
?
I met her during my study abroad
.
She is letting me stay in her house while she’ll be away on a holiday
. T
here’ll be plenty of room for the two of us.”
“Wouldn’t you want to have time alone with Simon?” Annabel stalled for the answer. The last thing she wanted was to be the proverbial third wheel, and the prospect of exploring the streets of
Paris
on her own did not excite her either
. I
n fact, it filled her with dread
. S
he had never been one of those people who were happy being on their own
. E
ating alone in a café or even having a cup of coffee always made her feel awkward.
“There’ll be plenty of time for all of us to hang out. Come on, just say yes
,
already
. I
t’ll be so much fun!”
“I’d love to, Lilly, but it’s too short of a notice
.
I don’t think I’ll be able to get time off from Paige,” Annabel blurted out the only excuse that came to mind.
“Oh, come on! You told me that you haven’t taken any time off this year because you were saving it for the honeymoon
.
I’m sure Paige won’t mind. Please? I could really use your help with the show. What are you going to do with all that vacation time
? J
ust sit around and sulk?”
As blunt as she was, Lilly did have a point
.
Annabel had over three weeks of vacation left for the year. Here she was being offered to go to
Paris
,
and instead of jumping at the chance, she was seriously considering the alternative of moping around in her apartment, eating take out and watching TV. Had it come to this? Jeremy
had
broke
n
her heart, but she was not going to let him break her
. S
he was determined to go on with her life, even if that meant faking it every step of the way.
“O
kay. Y
es, I’ll go!” Annabel exclaimed before her courage
c
ould desert her.
“Yes!” Lilly jumped up from the couch, and the two friends embraced.
Just then
,
the doorbell rang.
“It’s the pizza guy.” Annabel hurried to open the door.
“It’s about time
.
I’m starving.”
“So am I.”
Feeling closer than ever, they settled with their slices of pizza on the couch. Sometimes, that was exactly what true friendship required: brutal, unflinching honesty that made you realize that you had lost your way and showed you how to get back on track.