Authors: Marie Astor
If she could find time – was he kidding her? She would walk to the end of the earth to see him, not to mention forgoing a few minutes of sleep.
“I’d love that. I could be online at seven in the morning,
New York
time, which would make it one in the afternoon,
Paris
time.”
“That sounds perfect
.
I can’t wait to see you
, Annabel
.”
“
And I can’t wait to see you, Etienne
.”
“See you then.”
She held her breath
,
waiting for him to say more, hoping to hear that he loved her.
“Bye, Ann.”
“Bye.” Annabel hung up her phone, feeling a slight twinge of disappointment.
Don’t rush things
, she told hersel
f
. Y
ou know how he feel
s. H
e will tell you when the time is right
. And yet, Annabel had to admit that it would have been nice to hear him say it.
“So how was your
Paris
trip, Ann?” As usual, Janine barged into Annabel’s office without knocking.
“It was great, but I’m exhausted now.” It was almost five o’clock, and by now Annabel felt as if her vacation
had
never happened
. S
he had been working nonstop all day, mostly picking up the pieces of
the
botched up projects that Janine left behind.
“Meet any cute guys?” Janine plopped into a chair.
“No one in particular.” Annabel str
uggled to keep her voice level
. W
hatever made Janine think that she had an open invitation to chitchat?
“Well, I can’t say the same about me
.
Stephen and I are going steady. As a matter of fact, we are going out tonight. Do you like the outfit he got me?” Janine got up from her seat and attempted a model turn to show off her Herve Leger dress that looked like it was about to burst at the seams and her five-inch Prada pumps, but
she
almost lo
st her balance. “Damn, these hee
ls are tricky.”
“You’re dating Stephen Vargas?”
“That’s right. Are you jealous?”
“Not in the least, but he is a client. Does Paige know?”
“She knows
,
and she
couldn’t be happier about it. I got her accounts with two of Stephen’s friends - the Deboise Restaurant and the Porchelli makeup line.”
“Oh, yes, I’ve just spent the past four hours straightening out the mess on these accounts
. A
pparently, the first draft of the copy was supposed to be sent to both clients last week, but they never received it, and I couldn’t find the drafts saved anywhere.”
“Yes, well, I’ve been meaning to get to it, but it’s been hectic here.” Janine shrugged, avoiding Annabel’s glare. “But now that you’re back, things will start to run smoothly again. By the way, I’m out this Friday
.
Stephen is taking me to Vegas.”
“Have a great time
. J
ust don’t end up getting drunk and married.”
“I will be keeping my fingers crossed.” Janine slid off the chair, shutting the door behind her.
“I swear, that girl does not have a single sane brain cell in her head,” Annabel muttered as she turned her attention back to the pile on her desk.
Two weeks later, Annabel was walking toward her building after a tedious, long Monday at work. She was in a lousy mood
. P
erhaps, part of it had to do with the fact that
,
with the exception of a handful of terse emails, she had not heard from Etienne for over a week
. O
r maybe it had to do with the fact that she was swamped at work
,
and there seemed to be no light at the end of the tunnel.
During her hiatus, most of the accounts had become a complete mess
.
Sally had kept records of all calls, which was a major help, and Paige had somehow managed to keep the clients appeased, but the details fell by the wayside
,
and there was no one but Annabel to pick up the slack. Janine had taken to rolling in at ten and leaving at four, with two-hour lunches to boot, but somehow Paige remained oblivious to it all. And to top things off, Janine had called in sick today – a tacky move since everyone at the office knew that she had gone to Vegas with Stephen during the weekend, and the only illness she could be suffering from was
a
hangover. Well, Annabel needed the job, and for now, all she could do was
to
grind her teeth and bear it.
Still, she refused to lose sight of her new goal. During her time in
Paris
,
she
had
started making notes on her first novel – a dream that she had been putting on hold since her college graduation. At first
,
the prospect seemed daunting as she struggled with the plot lines, but she kept with it, and, gradually, the outline solidified in her mind
. I
t was going to be a story about getting your heart broken and falling in love again – the kind of story that had happened to her. Every night when she got home after work, no matter how late, she found the time to jot down at least a few paragraphs. During the day, whenever she had a free moment at work, her mind turned to her characters progressing through the plot, and every day she could not wait to get home to write it all down.
She looked
at her watch
. I
t wa
s seven-
thirty at night
. W
ith any luck, she could put in a good three hours of writing
. P
erhaps she could even finish the chapter she
had
started yesterday. Encouraged by the prospect, Annabel raced up the front stoop, impatient to get to her desk.
“Annabel?”
The familiar voice stopped her dead.
“Annabel.” Jeremy was standing a few feet away from her.
For a moment she froze, uncomprehending.
“What are you doing here?” she stammered.
“I was hoping we could talk.”
His voice broke, and Annabel felt a familiar emotion surge inside her.
“What is it Jeremy? What do you want to talk about?”
“I miss you, Ann.” He stumbled closer toward her. “I’ve been miserable without you. I am a fool, an idiot for not appreciating what we had.”
Jeremy halted, and Annabel thought she spotted a glint of tears in his eyes. He looked miserable
,
indeed
. H
is expensive white summer suit had
more creases than an unmade bed,
there were dark circles under his
eyes,
his usually coiffed hair
was in desperate need of a cut,
he looked thinner
,
and his shoulders stooped.
“Jeremy, what’s wrong?” Despite all the hurt he had caused her, she could not turn him away, not when he looked so beaten up.
“It’s you, Ann
.
I can’t be without you. You are the glue that holds me together.” Jeremy reached for her hand, but she moved it behind her back, and
,
seeing her gesture
,
he sighed.
“I don’t know what to say, Jeremy. I haven’t heard from you in months.”
“Is there any way you could forgive me? Please, hear me out.”
“I’ve met someone else.”
“I understand, but does he love you the way I love you?”
“The way you love me? If you loved me so much, Jeremy, then why did you cheat on me with Athena?”
“Oh, Annabel, it didn’t mean anything. I admit it - I s
crewed up. I was smitten by all the glitz and
glory, but I never loved her. I love you
,
and I can’t live without you. Please.” Jeremy dropped on one knee
.
“Will you take me back?” In his fingers he held out his grandmother’s sapphire ring – the same ring Annabel had returned to him after she caught him cheating on her with Athena.
To her dismay, Annabel found herself thinking how easy it would be to say yes: how comforting it would be to have someone to hold her at night, to feel safe and secure again, to stop wondering whether the handsome, dark man across the
Atlantic
still cared about her. The temptation scared her so much that she knew she had to put an end to it immediately.
“Get up, Jeremy
. Y
ou’ll get your suit dirty. You made your choice when you started seeing Athena behind my back.” She was about to walk away, but Jeremy’s pleading glance stopped her
. O
ld history was not easy to forget. With a sigh, Annabel added, “If you need a friend, you know where to find me, but that’s all I can offer you – friendship.”
Back in her apartment, Annabel stared blankly at the computer screen
. S
he was too rattle
d
to write a single line. Her
own life was starting to resemble a work of fiction.
You are the glue that holds me together
.
Jeremy’s words rang in her mind. In spite of herself, she had to admit that Jeremy’s appeal had moved her. There was no way of escaping it: they had been together for a long time, and she could not help wondering whether Jeremy really meant what he said. For the first time in months
,
Annabel questioned whether she had been too hard on Jeremy. Everyone could make a mistake
. S
hould she have given him a chance to redeem himself? A few months back
,
she would have snapped back with a categorical no, but now she found herself hesitating. Seeing her ex-fiancé had evoked a wide range of emotions: anger for one, but also, to her surprise, a peculiar kind of longing for their broken past – a wish that things had been different. She thought she had gotten over Jeremy, so why was she feeling this way now?
Does he love you the way I love you?
Jeremy’s plea hooked itself into her mind. Did Etienne love her? The truth of the matter was that Annabel did not know the answer
. E
xcept for a handful of one-line emails, she had not heard from Etienne for over five days. She tried to call him several times, but kept getting his voicemail. She told herself that he was busy at work and the time difference made it difficult for them to connect, but deep inside she wondered if there was something else that prevented him from calling. As of yet, they had not made any plans for seeing each other again
,
and the last time they spoke, it
had
seemed to her that Etienne’s voice was strangely constrained and distant. Annabel kept telling herself that it was all in her imagination, but the facts spoke for themselves. Maybe she should have listened to Lilly when her friend told her to keep things light
. M
aybe her time with Etienne was nothing but a fling, and she should get the clue and move on before she made a complete fool of herself. Maybe she should give Jeremy another chance.
With a sigh, Annabel leaned back in her chair. She wished she had someone to talk to
.
S
he could call Lilly of course, but she could already anticipate Lilly’s reaction. Her mom was really the one she wanted to talk to, but her parents were away on a sailing cruise and would not be back for another week. That left Meredith. Annabel had been meaning to call her cousin to patch things up, but
had
never
got
ten
around
to
it. Well, now was as good a time as ever.
Drumming her fingers, Annabel waited for Meredith to pick up the phone. Normally, she always called her cousin on her cell phone
. F
or one thing
,
that eliminated the possibility of Meredith’s philandering husband picking up, and for another, it assured that she would get a hold of Meredith
,
since her cousin was always running around with bake sales and soccer leagues. But this time the call went straight to voicemail. Baffled, Annabel looked at the clock
. I
t was nine at night, too early even for Meredith to be asleep, so she decided to give Meredith’s home number a try
. D
amn it, she could manage a quick hello to Doug if he happened to pick up, but
she
got an answering machine as well. Oh, well, perhaps Meredith and Doug went out to dinner or were out
at
a soccer game or a school play for one of their kids. In any case, Annabel’s reconciliation with her cousin would have to wait.
After a moment of hesitation, Annabel dialed Lilly’s cell number.