“Just give me the high sign, and I’ll take care of y’all.” Her smile had reminded Chloe of Luke. But neither one of them had mentioned him.
Eva and Chloe were the last two at the fire, long after the boys, Eva’s husband Daniel, and the other guests had gone to bed. They talked and talked. About their lives, their loves, their careers, their disasters. Eva was from downstate, just like Chloe, but that’s about all their lives had in common. Eva married to a wonderful man, and Chloe divorced a drug-addicted alcoholic.
“He wasn’t always that way,” Chloe said. Nobody in their right mind marries a man with as many issues as Spence.
“What happened?” Eva poked the fire with a stick and sparks flew into the sky. She threw another log on, signaling that she wanted details.
“He lost his job in ’07.”
“That’s when everything started to go to hell.”
“Yes. So I went to work. I happened into a good job using skills I never dreamed I’d need.”
“Sounds kind of like what happened to me when Daniel and I restored this place.”
“Yeah, I’m good at managing people, matching contract workers with businesses. And these days nearly everyone in Michigan is a contract worker. I found my niche. And it saved our home.”
“But killed your marriage.”
“Something like that. It started slow. The drinking. Smoking a little weed here and there. And it just continued to get worse. To the point that I forced him into rehab. He came out a changed man. For a minute.”
Chloe was quiet for a while, remembering what Bettina had said last time they’d seen each other. “So back he went into rehab, and when he got out, I had already moved to my mom’s with the kids. I told him to stay straight for a year, and I’d consider working on our marriage. He lasted about two minutes that time.”
“Some men.”
“He’s a good man, but his addictions got the best of him. I don’t know. It seems so stupid and trite. Only a failure loses his job and his wife has to support the family, so he drowns his sorrows, smokes them away, pops another pill…”
“Oh wow, so he’s still a mess? How does he survive?”
“I paid the house off and gave it to him.” Chloe didn’t include the part about how she bribed him into letting the boys go to Seattle. She felt a twinge about that. Bettina had hinted that her move had been why Spence’s addictions escalated. “And he married the principal of the boys’ school.”
“What?”
“Yeah, he got her while clean. She fell for the single dad thing. Now she’s expecting a baby, and he’s just falling deeper into addiction. I hate it. I hate that my kids have to see it.”
“Sometimes, life sucks.”
“Yes, it does. But not tonight.”
Chapter Ten
Bettina enrolled in a summer class, hoping for a promotion. If Spence didn’t clean up his act, she would have to leave him. Just like his last wife had. She saw Chloe’s point of view so clearly now. She pulled in the driveway, wondering what she’d encounter when she opened the front door.
Same old, same old. Spence passed out on the sofa, a burn hole in the carpet where he’d dropped a lit roach, still on the clip. He could have destroyed their home. He could have died in a fire. God, she couldn’t go on this way.
Spence opened one eye. “Whoa. Hi, hon. Fell asleep.”
“Yeah, guess you did.”
“What time is it?”
“After six.”
“Oh shit. I’m sorry. I meant to make you dinner.”
“That’s fine. I have a protein shake, and there’s leftover pizza.” She flatlined, defeated. This was supposed to be the happiest time of her life, but she was truly miserable. She sat on the edge of the sofa and kicked off her shoes. Before she realized it, she wiped away tears.
“Aw, now don’t start that crying shit.”
That just made her cry harder.
Spence got up and went to the fridge for a beer. She heard the tab pop, then heard him walking upstairs to his stash. He hadn’t bothered to go into the basement to smoke for a long time now. How could she bring a baby into a life like this?
Spence felt like a douche. No amount of smoking, pills, or beer would make him feel better. He’d sold his kids. He’d bailed on his wife and their baby-to-be. He’d checked out of life. He opened a random bottle, and with every sip of beer, he popped another pill until every last pill was gone.
As he dosed himself way over the limit, he took out pen and paper. He wanted to write a letter to the boys, to Bettina. To explain. But what could he say? There was no reason for any of this except his own damn cowardly lame-ass self. Still, he wrote.
“To my family. Bettina you have been a wonderful wife. I don’t deserve you. You and the baby are better off without me. The house is paid for so at least you don’t have to worry about that. Please tell my boys and the baby, tell them
,
well I hope the baby thrives. You’ll find someone else. My boys, your dad is a very sick man. Promise me you will never drink liquor. You have it in your genes. You are cursed with a predisposition to abuse all kinds of substances. My father, the grandfather you never met, died from alcohol abuse, just as I am dying now from an overdose. Don’t let anyone kid you, prescription drugs, drugs your doctor prescribes, can kill you. Please don’t party in college. I hope you never have to suffer the depression…”
Spence dropped the pen and fell to the floor.
Downstairs Bettina heard a thump and lumbered to her feet. She walked up the steps dreading what she’d find. Vomit. A half-conscious husband who had actually checked out a long time ago. Then she saw him. His lips were blue. She leaned over him. Barely breathing. She saw the note paper, noticed his handwriting, saw the pill bottles, the liquor bottle. God, please, no.
Scared and angry, she forced herself to pick up one of the sheets of stationary. “…your grandfather,” she read, her eyes glazing over with unshed tears. Spence had never talked about his family. Certainly he had never mentioned a grandfather.
She roused herself, picked up his cell phone where it had fallen along with him, and called 9-1-1.
It took forever to give the operator all the information she requested. “Can’t you hang up and call the hospital? He’s dying. I need them now.”
“Ma’am, emergency medical services are on their way. I’m staying on the line with you to make sure we have everything we need in place when they admit him to the hospital. Go over the timeline for me. Can you do that?”
Bettina didn’t hear sirens, and that scared her. She threw the phone down and tried to shake Spence awake, but he didn’t respond. He was already dead. She knew it.
She picked up the phone and screamed into it. “He’s dead. It’s too late.”
“Ma’am, please, listen to me.”
She tried to breath, to listen through the roar in her head. There wasn’t anything else to do.
“What position is he in? Have you moved him? We got cut off there for a minute. Is he still on his stomach?”
“Yes.”
“No vomit?”
“No.” She thought she heard a faint siren. “I think I hear sirens.”
“Are you on a portable phone? Where are you in the house?”
“Yes, I was upstairs, but I’m going to the front door now.”
“Good. You did good. Are the emergency personnel on premises?”
Bettina just said a hasty thank you and opened the door. She pointed up the stairs as two uniformed men rushed toward her. Then she fainted.
She woke up in the ambulance, next to Spence. God in heaven. “He’s not…”
“He’s still with us, ma’am. We didn’t want to leave you in your condition, so this was the best we can do.”
She and her belly squeezed into the ambulance, but the men managed efficiently even as the horn blared as they passed through an intersection. The truck swayed, and she thought she’d be sick. Both med techs were working on Spence. She couldn’t see what they were doing, but she gagged when she smelled his vomit. He’d live another day, but she’d give him hell for it.
****
The next day dawned sunny and even prettier than the day before. The boys played on the beach, only stopping for a picnic lunch of PBJ sandwiches. Chloe read a mystery novel. Her mom was making them dinner tonight, all the boys’ favorites. Chocolate cake, also a favorite of Chloe’s. What the boys called “potato salad” but really consisted of boiled potatoes with Italian dressing poured over them. She’d also make the real thing, with mayo and chopped eggs and celery, for her and Chloe. Hot dogs would round out the menu. Since moving to Blue Lake, her mother had learned how to grill.
At four o’clock Chloe forced the boys from the water. They cleaned up and put on fresh clothes. The bungalow was adorable. She had Eva’s old room, and the boys bunked across the hall. Someone had stocked the fridge and pantry before they’d arrived. The kindnesses Eva and Wanda had shown made her wish that she never had to leave. Leaving her mother would be most painful of all. She was losing her place in the world. But maybe a better place waited for her and her children. Like Seattle.
The boys yelled they were ready to go, and Chloe snapped out of her fog. They piled into the car, and she made sure they fastened their seat belts and soon were heading down the cute little Main Street, with a bank, summer shops, and Fast Eddie’s where she’d ordered the best hamburger of her entire life. She’d love to come here and just spend a day shopping. She didn’t have any beachy clothes. They hadn’t fit into her life before. And the store windows had enticing glimpses of pretty pastel cover-ups and gorgeous jeweled sandals.
She could even get a pedicure and manicure at the little spa in town. Maybe tomorrow morning. Josh and Tommy had begged to spend the night with Grandma and had packed their own backpacks with pjs and toothbrushes.
The kids piled out and ran into Grandma’s kitchen, where cookies came fresh from the oven and Grandma let them have one before dinner.
“The cottage looks charming, Mom.” Chloe studied the changes to the summer home they’d had for many years. The old wicker furniture was gone. Mom’s good stuff showed better here than back at the old house. The familiar feel of the framed photos and knickknacks made Chloe nostalgic for simpler days.
They sat for dinner at the table Chloe had sat at for meals since she could remember, ate the food she always remembered eating and adoring. The boys were full of stories for their grandma, and her mother chatted happily about her new life in Blue Lake.
“You should let a Realtor take you around,” her mother said. “Not for now, but some day, maybe. There are some bigger places that are just darling. You know Daniel has restored a good part of the town’s historic district. Those places might be a little pricey, but they are gorgeous.”
“Mommy, yes,” Josh begged. “Let’s move here instead of Seattle.”
Her mother raised an eyebrow.
Chloe mouthed a snotty “thank you” to her mother over the boys’ heads. Stop it, she told herself. She didn’t want to ruin this vacation with ill-chosen words. Her mom was hurting. Chloe understood that.
Chloe pulled the new Pirates video out of her purse and looked at her mother. Her mom nodded.
“Boys, why don’t you watch the video while Grandma and I set the table?”
“I’m sorry my new job’s in Seattle, Mom.” Her mother handed Chloe familiar dinner plates from a new cupboard. Chloe set the table. “I couldn’t turn it down. I have two boys to raise on my own. I need to make a living wage, and those kind of jobs are just not here in Michigan right now. I had to make a tough decision.”
Her mother nodded and laid silverware next to each plate.
“How did the boys react when you told them?”
“Josh wasn’t happy at first, but now they think it’s an adventure. We get to live by the ocean.” Chloe didn’t mention the family meltdown while packing.
“But right here in Blue Lake you have water. Lots of it.”
Chloe nodded. It was beautiful here. Seattle seemed a long way away. It would be hard to leave her mother. “You’ll come to Seattle for Christmas and stay the winter.” Not a question. “Stay a month. Two. As long as you’d like. I’m decorating a room just for you. I’ll buy you a Seattle car.”
She and her mom had formed such a winning team raising the boys after the divorce. She wanted to believe her mother would come west for good eventually.
“I’ll just put these dogs on the grill,” her mom said. But then on her way out to the tiny patio, she turned. “And you’re sure this is not about me moving to Blue Lake? You don’t feel like I abandoned you?”
“No, Mom, honest. It’s not that. I’m going where the money and the work lead me. That’s all.”
“Well.” Her mom wielded the hot dog fork. “I wanted us to each stand on her own feet. I moved away first. I guess I can’t complain when you do the same.”
“Mom, I will miss you every single day.” It was true. “I’ll come and stay at Blue Heaven every summer. You can close up the house here and winter with us.”
“That’s what I tried to stop. The way we depend on each other. I wanted you to have your own life. Find a man. Have that daughter you’ve always dreamed of.”
“You mean granddaughter you’ve always wanted.”
They laughed quietly.
“We’ll work it out,” her mom said.
“I know we will.”
“Maybe you’ll meet someone out there.”
“I want to, Mom. I’m ready.”
“You mean you’re lonely.”
“Yes.” She tried not to think about Luke. Tried to believe there was someone better out there for her.
****
Chloe had the bungalow to herself. As usual, a bonfire raged outside, but she didn’t join in. It wasn’t the same without the boys. She sat on the big front porch, the murmur of voices at the bonfire a soothing background noise as she watched the waning moon reflected in the dark water of Lake Huron.
“Hey,” a voice said. Luke. She turned to see him on the porch, standing there.
“Hey,” she said. She’d wondered if she’d run into him up here, but it never occurred to her that he’d seek her out. He’d never called her in the weeks after he’d left, and she’d been alone in Sterling Pines. Now here he stood.
“I thought the boys might be watching the Tigers.”
“Oh.” So he hadn’t come to see her, but her boys. So sweet. “They’re staying with Grandma tonight.” He stood at the edge of the porch. “Have a seat if you want to.”